What is something that your in laws do or have done to either see them less or set bigger boundaries?
What is something that your in laws do or have done to either see them less or set bigger boundaries?
r/AskWomen
What is something that your in laws do or have done to either see them less or set bigger boundaries?
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We used to live in a place owned by my in-laws, so they’d show up unnanounced all the time and I never felt like I was allowed to speak up, since it was literally their place. From there we moved into our own condo in the same building where they live, so we had to set boundaries from the start.
My husband and I both work from home, but that never stopped them from barging in during work hours before, they think that if we’re home it means we’re free (regardless of how many times we explain that it’s not the case). On our first week living here, one afternoon my MIL just showed up at the door with her sister, bringing cake so we could have coffee together. I opened the door just a crack, said something like “thank you so much but we’re busy with meetings all day, we’ll come down after work” and left it at that. It’s been a year and she eventually calls/texts during work hours asking if we’re free, but hasn’t showed up unannounced anymore.
My relationship with MIL died when she decided to interfere with our wedding.
First she didn’t plan the transportation we needed for his disabled aunt. They tried to change the schedule so we could drive by ….and we had photos scheduled.
And then she made my friend cry before officiating us
And then his grandma told his aunt that my mom hated disabled people
She completely ignored my pregnancy unless she was warning me about shitting myself during labor
And she invalidated my labor experience … told me she did it when she was half my age lol
They always pressure us into extending the visit and become aggressive about us trying to leave early. It’s always “stay for dessert” when we’ve already been there for four hours. I get defensive because my husband is visibly uncomfortable around his family, so I try to make the visit as long as we can before it’s become too draining, but every time we try to leave, we get pressured into staying for an extra hour or two.
The last time it happened, I lost my cool more that I would have liked after my husband tried to say he was getting tired three times, and so now my SIL doesn’t invite us over anymore because I caused a scene. It’s honestly more peaceful.
Made serious, serious allegations against me. That are totally inaccurate and a huge over reaction.
That was an immediate NC and block after I calmly said you’ve got this wrong.
Guess who’s a questionable and suspicious Mom for following up with a doctor when a kid had a diagnosed broken bone.
Yeesh I know I’m the worst
My husband’s brother is the favorite . My husband lives in the United States , his family lives in another country . His mom and sister visited last yr for the holidays . I’ve only been around his family twice since we married and hadn’t seen the dynamics in full.
So after not seeing them for 2 yrs his mom told my husband that she would make him his favorite meal. Well.. she never did . However his brother lives 5 min away in their country . His brother was in town to visit for one day . His mom made his brother , his favorite meal plus take home for his trip back home . This lady sees this man everyday back home. She also cut the trip 2 weeks short because she had to be there for her grandkids birthday ( her favorite son’s , son ).
I was taken back by seeing all this play out . Although I care about his mom and family , that made me not care about any opinion she has of me or care to fit in .
nag me about having a baby. its incessant. every time i go over im told to have a baby.
my FIL also had a giant meltdown about getting our electric kettle white elephant gift because we should’ve somehow known 1) he’d get it and 2) he didn’t drink tea. i was the one who had picked out the white elephant gifts (which i already can’t stand as a concept) so i told my husband i was “busy” for an indefinite amount of christmas days now. ill see everyone another day.
exist
Everything. But, most recently, I allowed our kiddo to go to my in laws for a “cousin day” after a long, long period of not being allowed there at all let alone without dad.
Our kiddo was getting a bunch of texts so I checked and it was MIL. I had blocked her number after she put it into his phone without permission.
Before you come for me, it’s justified. I promise. Don’t let adults have free access to your child just because they have a phone for emergencies or parent communication.
She unblocked it. Our child is very young and is nowhere near consent or joint decision making on these things. She asked him if HE wanted HER blocked in HIS phone.
Ma’am. This is why I don’t speak to you. Back it up.
Constantly add their opinion, makes us feel like we’re being judged for everything.
Immediately posted photos of my baby on Facebook right after I gave birth without asking, and the privacy was set to public.
It started with the classic overbearing, manipulative and emotional immature behavior. It ended with a complete lack of empathy regarding my father’s cancer diagnosis. I mean talking about cemeteries when finding out and MIL saying “he’s alive” with a dismissive tone whenever FIL asked about his health just to cut the conversation short and put the attention back on her. We don’t even speak the same language, but I started to understand more and more over the years.