Genuine question. I never understood this. Why call each other disrespectful names or cuss each other out as a way of showing love? It’s not funny. If someone did that to me, I wouldn’t want to continue the friendship with them. I also wouldn’t think they really love me.
Please no rude responses.
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Intention matters. I can call my OH an asshole if she did something daft. She knows i don’t mean it.
I think it’s a way of showing you’re close each other. It has to be reciprocal. Saying an insult (where you know they can handle it) and not going too far (where you know it’s hurtful). Learning to laugh at ourselves in a safe environment
bc we know we wont take it seriously so we can be honest. If my friend is being stupid I can call them stupid with no harsh feelings
So for me a relationship never really starts that way. It starts with something small, and if it’s reciprocated it continues and it will happen more often.
For me it shows that we can talk and be honest about everything, without it needing to be a serious sit down conversation every time. When someone tells me to sit down so we can talk I get a lot of anxiety. I start thinking about all the things I’ve possibly done wrong since meeting you, while being called an idiot right after dropping a sharp knife is totally fine by me. It’s just not as anxiety inducing as having to worry about what your reaction is going to be for a whole week, or longer.
It really depends on context lol. For example if my fiance scares me. I’d call him an asshole but not fully mean it. It’s more of a tease. I know he can handle it and he knows I truly don’t mean it in a mean way.
My family members call each other poop. I don’t know why. Nobody does.
A coworker and I banter like this on occasion, but we have an older/younger sister dynamic. We’re equally sarcastic, so we always know we’re joking around.
My husband calls me magma bitch because I run hot, I call him ass hat because I can. They are jokes and we both know that.
There are some lines of work where we long hours(first responders, factory workers, energy field, etc) and giving friendly banter to each other helps relieve stress. I work in a machine/welding and have been on the same crew for 4 years, we respect/trust each other and bust each other’s balls we know we’re not hurting each other’s feelings and we do have a customer service voice when needed
You’ve heard about teasing, right? What you SAY isn’t necessarily what you MEAN.
It only works though if both parties know its teasing. And if you don’t like it, you should say so. If the person is your friend, they will stop.
Because whoever could get the biggest laugh growing up was the favorite. I live on sarcasm and insults for those I love. I tell my sister she’s ugly and has a troll nose then two minutes later I send her a meme about how much I love her being my sister. Maybe it’s my culture, we’re Italian immigrants and the more we tease you or “bust your balls” the more we love you. if I don’t like you I don’t tease you.
See, you say it’s not funny, I say it is.
It’s just banter for me and my group of friends. And there’s certainly a line that can be crossed, but generally it isn’t. It’s also a creative outlet. We just try to see how creative we can get. And we all have ways of letting each other know if we crossed a line.
Me and my sister call each other cuss words all the time. We only cuss at each other if we are good. If we ever fight, cussing is not used. Like someone else said, it’s a way to show how close you are. I have some friends that I cuss at and some that I don’t, bc I can tell who’s comfortable with it and who’s not. Kinda just the way we grew up ig
The reason is because it makes you feel more intimate to the person. Think about it, when you meet a new friend, you don’t call them an idiot or insult them. You stay respectful to them. But if you got close, then if you’re playfully insulting them, it’s like separating how you treat your friends vs strangers or new people, making your friends or partner feel special to both themselves and you.
It’s all about intention. I call my husband stinky poop fart, but that doesn’t mean he’s a stinky poop fart.
Slap and tickle can be a love language. It takes many forms ÷)
Well…you’re whole post screams “I’m sensitive, don’t joke around with me.” The best people I know roasts me. But know when to be there for me when I’m down. And vice versa. We’d all drop what we’re doing to help each other if there’s someone in need. That’s depth that no “it’s rude” kind of people will never understand. I’d rather know they’re not fake. Hiding behind a mask.
If I give you shit/rag on you that means I actually really like you and that I’m so comfortable with you that I can let my guard down knowing that our friendship is in a place where you’re going to give me shit too. If I don’t give people shit, then I don’t like them nor trust them.
Playing around is one thing.
I went as far as Jerk or butt hole.
But never cursing or name calling. I cand stand it period.
I think it’s just personal preference. It’s ok if you never truly understand.
Some people find traditional affectionate language uncomfortable or a bit patronizing. For me being able to rag on someone shows you respect them. Refusing to seems to suggest they think I’m too soft to handle it which could be hurtful.
It’s not love
It’s about sharing the same sense of humor. My best friend & I both have dark humor so we’ll send each other the middle finger emoji at random. We’ve known each other since we were toddlers.
It’s a test of intelligence and trust. If you can’t take a joke or even detect sarcasm, I don’t even wanna be around you. There’s a difference between saying something shitty with malicious intent, and saying just to tease someone you care about. If you can’t tell a difference you have issues.
It is done in a light headed banter. You need to be close to the person and understand eachother to know how far you can go so as not to actually insult the other person. You actually make fun of uptight people
Hey, if I call myself bad names, why not call others bad names.
Me and most closest friends call each other cunt.
We do this because we have a) similar sense of humour b) it’s so offensive only those closest to you could get away with it and still be close.
My husband and I call each other “dingdong” a lot. But we say “I love you” more.
It’s funny to those two (or however many) people, and they respond to it in the exact opposite way. You don’t really get to declare that for them. Your feelings are valid for you, and you can ask people not to playfully tease you (or in that way, at least), but you can’t tell people who enjoy engaging in that type of behavior with each other that their feelings are invalid.
For many people, it’s natural and fun to tease each other in such a way. For you, it’s not.
Both are ok.
It’s fun we laugh and when we were younger it made us tough when a bully would say it to us. It didn’t hurt as much because we had heard it before sad but true
I agree. It’s a slippery slope. Teasing can be easily misunderstood. Respectful words are key to a good marriage.
We’re Irish
You must be such a bundle of joy😩
My brother and I have ALWAYS joked on each other, ever since I can remember. We’re both heavy, so we’re always making weight comments to each other! “How’s it going not skinny?!” or “c’mon Slender , let’s go!” lol .
From the outside looking in, I could see how someone would think it’s harmful, but we’re only joking with one another. We know the limits of the fun, and what’s “off limits”.
When I’m “friends” with someone I don’t feel comfortable joking around with, it doesn’t feel like a real friendship in which we both respect each other or see each other as equals. I mainly feel that way because I personally would only lose my temper over being insulted by someone if I think that person is too far beneath me as an individual to ever think they could insult me even as a joke.
Its fun, i enjoy shit talking and being shit talked too, sometimes when i am around people who arent shit talkers or sarcastic they get influenced by me and i tell them wonderful job
I am a bit unique in that i will tease people i just meet, i was teasing a gal at the receptionist office of a doctors office in Mexico, she laughed after i said it, but i just confirmed with her that i do this to Mexicans cause they get sarcasm and dont really get offended, Americans are snowflakes who cry about everything
I also shit talk about myself with strangers and people i know, i met a gal recently and she asked if i spoke espanol, i told her it was difficult for me cause i am estupida, she said i have to use o for males instead of a for females ie; estupido, i replied so thats how stupid i am i cant even say stupid right
Sometimes i will ask people who dont insult me in return if i offended them as my intention is not to hurt them, im an ethicist so i am against harm, i am also very caring, a gal that i insult i buy things for her, listen to her vent, help her with advice, im there for her if she needs me, im not going to date her, i just want her to be happy
OP is the individual i wouldnt want to be around, i prefer people who are chill, relaxed and dont take everything so personally/ seriously, i am sarcastic 99% of the time and dont want to have to worry about hurting people who are sensitive
OP’s love language is words and they are judging others for having Fun as their love language.