I was a bit of a bully in elementary school, mostly because I hadn’t fully developed a “conscience” I think. Used to hurt other students, say mean things, group up on them, etc.. I do regret it, however most of the people that I picked on I grew up with so I was able to change my behavior and treat them respectfully as we got older. It doesn’t undo what happened, but at least they have the closure knowing that I didn’t grow up to be a POS for life.
Around age 12 or so is when I had a major change and began to really think about how my own behavior affects people.
My mom bullied me and I just thought that was normal Ngl. Until they started teaching us in school at those ceremonies and shit and I started getting bullied for random shit I learned. I regret it but there’s nothing I can do other than just not be what I was.
I was bullied pretty bad myself and I think this was partly what led me to bully one kid in particular. I sent a message to him many years after the fact apologizing. He didn’t deserve that at all.
I bullied my siblings. My older brother bullied me and I just thought that was how siblings treat each other. I would take out my problems on my younger siblings, like my mom did on us. It was pretty much learned behavior although I think we were all a bit mean spirited in general. Yeah I regret it a lot.
I confronted my bully a couple years ago. Mind you I did this when I was by 53. He bullied me from the time we were in 7th grade all the way through graduation of high school. He claims he does not remember doing it. I learned that he had a rough childhood at home. And I’m guessing that I was just to go easy pick. Yes he made my life hard and tough but at the same time his bowling may be stronger and who I am today. I guess being bullied by a bully you take it one way or you can take it the other way and I’m thankful that I took it the way I did and I didn’t do something that would have regretted doing.
I was bullied all through elementary school. So in middle and high school I bullied the bullies. That’s how I justify it. If I saw someone picking on someone less fortunate an “outcast,” someone with a mental illness or disability I would snap out on them. I knew how it felt and I wasn’t going to stand by watching or recording on a phone. Do I regret it ? Absolutely not I felt like I was protecting people and felt they deserved it since most of the time they’d go unpunished.
I never was a bully until now, with some people who I’m sure hacked me. I was so rude to them that I regret it. I realized I’m a POS, and I thought I was a good person. I’m waiting for my Karma to get me. I apologized to them with a letter, that I don’t know if they read, I think they didn’t accept the apology. But not even like that I have my peace back.
I wanted to fit in and be cool. I aged out of it around 16. It never felt good and I still feel shitty about it today, almost 30 years later. I got the reaction I was looking for from my peers I suppose. So, that probably fed it.
There was this one heavy set red haired girl that I remember following around as she crying saying mean shit to her to get a laugh for like 20 minutes. She’d try and walk away in tears and asshole me would just follow. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did everyone else join in? Sure it was like grade 5 but that’s no excuse. I sometimes think about her and hope she’s doing well and doesn’t think of me as much as I think of her. I feel awful about it to this day and it’s a shame I will carry with me until I die.
There were some others, mostly my younger sisters boyfriends but none stick out like that poor girl. Fuck I was an asshole.
I bullied a little during puberty. I had a lot of rage that I didn’t know where it was coming from or what to do about it. And of the course the adults in my life were no help at all. I just got in trouble, which made it worse.
At some point, some crusty old witch doctor told me, if I masterbate, I’m going to hell. That’s all I ever got. So, I didn’t know what the hell was going on.
Yes, I still feel bad about that decades later. I got pretty mean a few times.
I think it probably would have helped if someone told me it’s a normal process every male goes through. Followed by some tips for controlling anger.
I was bullied in high school. My bully played baseball and took our high school team to the city championship. Shortly after graduation, he was drafted into MLB (Major League Baseball).
He went on to fortune and fame and was found dead from an overdose in the RV he was living in behind the stadium.
He never apologized.
When I heard of his passing, I had two reactions.
I felt bad for his family. He had a wife and kids.
The people who bullied me by and large have no idea that they did. The only person who ever acknowledged it also had a drug problem and so he did a lot of self reflection as a result of doing steps.
I bullied a few boys physically for about a year and a half in elementary school. I’m a girl and just never thought I was really hurting them or even could. I thought of it as playing and picking on them in like a “teasing” kind of way. in the 90s, there were a lot of girl bullies in the media that weren’t treated badly by the narrative. (Think angelica in rugrats, Helga in hey arnold. Not heroes for sure but sympathetic). I had a lot going on at home and any friends i made moved away several years in a row so I was lonely and didn’t have anything to do during breaks.
One day, one of them asked me why I kept doing it one day and he just seemed really tired and I abruptly realized no one else was having fun and stopped.
i was a nerdy looking kid, and when i got to high school a bunch of clowns from the football team tried picking on me within a month of starting school. went on for about a month until i went and got steel toe DocMartins . and then i had a couple of talks with the principal about bullying. but no one fucked with me. cause after one got kicked in the shins and told to fuck off the rest kinda followed suit. don’t get me wrong i was a bully and those assholes were afraid. i would charge and kick anytime i seen them. but they stopped. It was fun though, after i got the steal toes, bullying your way out of being bullied is the best way to deal with bullies.
This isn’t overt bullying. But I think straight up bullying isn’t any worse.
I talked shit behind a girl’s back in high school. Unkind things. And she was part of my friend group. It makes me feel like a shitty person when I think about it. 💯
Now I try not to even gossip about someone (this was beyond gossiping). I wish I could go back & make things right just by keeping my mouth shut. I’m in tears writing about it.
I know why tho. My self esteem was so low, I’d make me feel better talking bad about someone. Or I was just a peice of shit back then. Idk
I never thought I was a bully, until one of my friends confronted me. I would have described myself as sassy and sarcastic, but her experience of me was just that I was mean. My siblings were horribly bullied in school and I think I developed a sarcastic persona to defend myself. I’m very grateful my former friend called me out, though, as it definitely woke me up.
Because my home life was horrific. Yes, I regret it and I also apologized to people.
I’m sure there are some bullies who are just assholes but a lot of bullies are being mistreated and bullied ( beaten, emotionally abused etc) at home.
Sexually assaulted at 8, didnt know how to tell anyone, not in the culture I was raised in. Usually we are just told to shut up, or the abuser is usually defended over the victim. Its even worse for girls/women (its a lot better now)
My parents also gets easily angry, and I meant that in a physical sense for my dad, and just a lot of screaming from my mom. They dont know how to apologize for their wrongdoing and when they’re in a bad mood, I just get neglected all day. But other days theyre also extremely caring, its bizzare. But at home all my life I had to tiptoe around everything in fear of upsetting people, even my two little sisters. One just gets upset and shuts down all day not saying a word. The other one will just start crying to get her ways. Im exhausted.
I always try to uplift everyone’s mood but you know… Nothing.
As a result? I beat up and get in fights cause Im always angry.
I remember jumping the bandwagon on this indian kid in high school. They picked on him because he “smelled different” (read: his mom cooked actual real food and it likely permiated his clothes) and his dad was a teacher there. I joined because my dumbass just wanted to fit in after being an outcast all my life.
He was almost a social pariah. I think about him way too often and feel horrible.
Couldnt find him on socials to apologize, having looked once every year or so (every time it haunted me, really).
Gabriel from Bravo, if you’re reading this, on behalf of the whole school – we’re so fucking sorry, man.
I wasn’t really a bully, but I did have a “wannabe mean girl” streak in middle school. I was on the lowest rung of the ladder within the clique and was often bullied in mean girl ways by the other girls. In order to maintain any friendships, I would often gossip or plant seeds of dislike towards those on the top of the echelon.
By the end of middle school, things shook out okay. Most of us were decently friendly towards each other and I had some really solid friendships, managing to become decently well-liked. Unfortunately, the girl that was pinpointed as the top of the group was left without any friends at all. It is a rotten thing to have done, as I was a big orchestrator of getting her on the outs. In hindsight, I’m positive that she was not the one that was the ringleader of the bullying I experienced, just the one that most people wanted to be friends with which made them feel the need to be mean to me in order to establish their position in the hierarchy.
The only instance I remember being outwardly and obviously mean was to a boy that asked me to be his girlfriend. He was not considered cool and it embarrassed me to be asked out by him. I told him he was a nerd in order to distance myself from him. I felt guilty for years and apologized when we got older and he said he had no idea what I was talking about. So there’s that, I guess.
I wasn’t a bully, but was cordial with one. He just never made me his target, but he really tormented others in elementary school. He calmed down in 8th grade and became a really great guy in high school. He still is, and I always knew he had the potential to be incredible. About 5 years ago, he admitted on social media that his father sexually abused him until he passed away when he was 10. I’m sure he regretted it, but couldn’t control his rage. We all grew up together, and no one has openly said they hold a grudge. We all love him and I wish I could love younger him more. He deserved it.
My uncle was always a piece of shit. I’m surprised there aren’t most posts on this about family members but I haven’t read them all through. He was always a jerk and I never trusted him even as a small child because it was obvious. As I got older he met his fiance through a dating service and brought her around our house. I felt incredibly bad for her because I knew he would never be able to love anyone, despite being a professor. They got married and had a son. THe son (my cousin) would act very weird and obsessively cling to his mom as a kid. He was very withdrawn too. I later learned the uncle became a flaming alcoholic and beat his wife severely. She was a very respected nurse that worked for a very large hospital. She told me she had to put a restraining order on him, I’m assuming this was done before the divorce went through. My grandparents (the uncle’s parents) cut the abused wife off, supporting the wife-beating uncle and making excuses for him. The ex wife couldn’t believe this. But I do. My grandparents, specifically my grandpa was also always just an asshole so I’m not surprised, and I’m not surprised the uncle got his asshole tendencies from him. If I ever see my uncle in the afterlife I am going to kick his ass all over the place.
I was very mean to an overweight girl in elementary school. I was such a brat at that age. But as an adult I see a kid (myself) who lived in trauma and would do anything to be liked. So in a way if I see my kids reacting the way I did, it would be a red flag (not a justification). But I’ve searched for the girl on fb as an adult to apologize. I was very quiet and nice beyond elementary and always go out of my way to make people feel comfortable now.
Born with a pretty annoying medical condition, I always thought of myself as a burden. I guess I was scared of people, like friends and family, leaving me behind because I was a burden, so I’ve always tried to act overly-confident, physically strong, and very edgy to hide that insecurity.
Looking back, I did very cringey things and said very cringey things. I cared way too much about what people thought of me and how I would look in other people’s eyes. I’ve hurt kids for no reason to try and look cool, and I’ve said hurtful things to them. When I grew out of that angst some time in high school, surprise-surprise, I ended up with no friends and no social skills to make new friends.
I was a bully to my sister. I do heavily regret it. I was a child who couldn’t control my anger, and what didn’t help was my parents not…. Always parenting us.
Eventually I grew up and leaned to control my anger.
Worst I did was exclude someone from a place where people could use their phones because he played Minecraft (a game I myself was made fun of for still playing during the dark age).
Honestly looking back, I’m ashamed because I still play old games and don’t often try and follow new games as much. I would project that insecurity onto someone yet today I’m a guy who still keeps an old phone and who’s consoles are still gen 7 and harps about old fandoms years after content has ended.
I bullied a kid in high-school for a couple of weeks at the start of the term. Later on I apologized to him and he became my best friend back then. After more than 20 years, we are still good friends.
I was bullied for years for being emo lol. One day I snapped and beat up a girl that bullied me every day since middle school and this was in 10th grade and I got expelled but I was never bullied again after that even at my new school.
I used to bully my siblings. I think I was very angry and frustrated as I was often scapegoated and responsible for their care. I’m not making excuses. I feel terrible in adulthood. I have apologized to all of them and they swear there are no hard feelings and we’re all very close but… I remember doing it and I hate that I did anything to make their lives harder.
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I was a bit of a bully in elementary school, mostly because I hadn’t fully developed a “conscience” I think. Used to hurt other students, say mean things, group up on them, etc.. I do regret it, however most of the people that I picked on I grew up with so I was able to change my behavior and treat them respectfully as we got older. It doesn’t undo what happened, but at least they have the closure knowing that I didn’t grow up to be a POS for life.
Around age 12 or so is when I had a major change and began to really think about how my own behavior affects people.
I got expelled from high school for bullying. No regrets. My brain was soup.
My mom bullied me and I just thought that was normal Ngl. Until they started teaching us in school at those ceremonies and shit and I started getting bullied for random shit I learned. I regret it but there’s nothing I can do other than just not be what I was.
I’m not sure if these people have grown to hang out on “r/askreddit”
I was bullied pretty bad myself and I think this was partly what led me to bully one kid in particular. I sent a message to him many years after the fact apologizing. He didn’t deserve that at all.
They are cops now
Hurt people hurt people. Narcissistic mother and two older sisters that bullied me because they didn’t know any better.
I matured out of it in highschool so luckily I didn’t do too much damage. I regret it all, regardless.
I bullied my siblings. My older brother bullied me and I just thought that was how siblings treat each other. I would take out my problems on my younger siblings, like my mom did on us. It was pretty much learned behavior although I think we were all a bit mean spirited in general. Yeah I regret it a lot.
I confronted my bully a couple years ago. Mind you I did this when I was by 53. He bullied me from the time we were in 7th grade all the way through graduation of high school. He claims he does not remember doing it. I learned that he had a rough childhood at home. And I’m guessing that I was just to go easy pick. Yes he made my life hard and tough but at the same time his bowling may be stronger and who I am today. I guess being bullied by a bully you take it one way or you can take it the other way and I’m thankful that I took it the way I did and I didn’t do something that would have regretted doing.
I was bullied all through elementary school. So in middle and high school I bullied the bullies. That’s how I justify it. If I saw someone picking on someone less fortunate an “outcast,” someone with a mental illness or disability I would snap out on them. I knew how it felt and I wasn’t going to stand by watching or recording on a phone. Do I regret it ? Absolutely not I felt like I was protecting people and felt they deserved it since most of the time they’d go unpunished.
Wasn’t really a bully…I teased a boy in elementary. He was my crush. No, I don’t regret. I think it was fun for both of us.
I never was a bully until now, with some people who I’m sure hacked me. I was so rude to them that I regret it. I realized I’m a POS, and I thought I was a good person. I’m waiting for my Karma to get me. I apologized to them with a letter, that I don’t know if they read, I think they didn’t accept the apology. But not even like that I have my peace back.
Cause i felt out of place in high school and lashed out at my table mates. I regret it.
I was a bully in middle school. I didn’t realize at the time that I was taking out the hurt that I was feeling on another person.
I wish more than anything that I could have a do over.
I saw the fear and liked it. I grew out of this by the time I was about 10 or 11, and yes I feel bad.
I wanted to fit in and be cool. I aged out of it around 16. It never felt good and I still feel shitty about it today, almost 30 years later. I got the reaction I was looking for from my peers I suppose. So, that probably fed it.
There was this one heavy set red haired girl that I remember following around as she crying saying mean shit to her to get a laugh for like 20 minutes. She’d try and walk away in tears and asshole me would just follow. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did everyone else join in? Sure it was like grade 5 but that’s no excuse. I sometimes think about her and hope she’s doing well and doesn’t think of me as much as I think of her. I feel awful about it to this day and it’s a shame I will carry with me until I die.
There were some others, mostly my younger sisters boyfriends but none stick out like that poor girl. Fuck I was an asshole.
I bullied a little during puberty. I had a lot of rage that I didn’t know where it was coming from or what to do about it. And of the course the adults in my life were no help at all. I just got in trouble, which made it worse.
At some point, some crusty old witch doctor told me, if I masterbate, I’m going to hell. That’s all I ever got. So, I didn’t know what the hell was going on.
Yes, I still feel bad about that decades later. I got pretty mean a few times.
I think it probably would have helped if someone told me it’s a normal process every male goes through. Followed by some tips for controlling anger.
I was bullied in high school. My bully played baseball and took our high school team to the city championship. Shortly after graduation, he was drafted into MLB (Major League Baseball).
He went on to fortune and fame and was found dead from an overdose in the RV he was living in behind the stadium.
He never apologized.
When I heard of his passing, I had two reactions.
The people who bullied me by and large have no idea that they did. The only person who ever acknowledged it also had a drug problem and so he did a lot of self reflection as a result of doing steps.
I bullied a few boys physically for about a year and a half in elementary school. I’m a girl and just never thought I was really hurting them or even could. I thought of it as playing and picking on them in like a “teasing” kind of way. in the 90s, there were a lot of girl bullies in the media that weren’t treated badly by the narrative. (Think angelica in rugrats, Helga in hey arnold. Not heroes for sure but sympathetic). I had a lot going on at home and any friends i made moved away several years in a row so I was lonely and didn’t have anything to do during breaks.
One day, one of them asked me why I kept doing it one day and he just seemed really tired and I abruptly realized no one else was having fun and stopped.
I feel bad about it still.
Many of the bullies here did it cause if they didn’t? They would be bullied in turn.
i was a nerdy looking kid, and when i got to high school a bunch of clowns from the football team tried picking on me within a month of starting school. went on for about a month until i went and got steel toe DocMartins . and then i had a couple of talks with the principal about bullying. but no one fucked with me. cause after one got kicked in the shins and told to fuck off the rest kinda followed suit. don’t get me wrong i was a bully and those assholes were afraid. i would charge and kick anytime i seen them. but they stopped. It was fun though, after i got the steal toes, bullying your way out of being bullied is the best way to deal with bullies.
This isn’t overt bullying. But I think straight up bullying isn’t any worse.
I talked shit behind a girl’s back in high school. Unkind things. And she was part of my friend group. It makes me feel like a shitty person when I think about it. 💯
Now I try not to even gossip about someone (this was beyond gossiping). I wish I could go back & make things right just by keeping my mouth shut. I’m in tears writing about it.
I know why tho. My self esteem was so low, I’d make me feel better talking bad about someone. Or I was just a peice of shit back then. Idk
Anyone self aware enough to acknowledge that they were a bully is probably going to regret it. But, most people aren’t that self-aware
I never thought I was a bully, until one of my friends confronted me. I would have described myself as sassy and sarcastic, but her experience of me was just that I was mean. My siblings were horribly bullied in school and I think I developed a sarcastic persona to defend myself. I’m very grateful my former friend called me out, though, as it definitely woke me up.
As a victim of bullies, I unfortunately found a weaker individual to bully myself. Always felt like shit about it. I’m sorry Ross.
Because my home life was horrific. Yes, I regret it and I also apologized to people.
I’m sure there are some bullies who are just assholes but a lot of bullies are being mistreated and bullied ( beaten, emotionally abused etc) at home.
Sexually assaulted at 8, didnt know how to tell anyone, not in the culture I was raised in. Usually we are just told to shut up, or the abuser is usually defended over the victim. Its even worse for girls/women (its a lot better now)
My parents also gets easily angry, and I meant that in a physical sense for my dad, and just a lot of screaming from my mom. They dont know how to apologize for their wrongdoing and when they’re in a bad mood, I just get neglected all day. But other days theyre also extremely caring, its bizzare. But at home all my life I had to tiptoe around everything in fear of upsetting people, even my two little sisters. One just gets upset and shuts down all day not saying a word. The other one will just start crying to get her ways. Im exhausted.
I always try to uplift everyone’s mood but you know… Nothing.
As a result? I beat up and get in fights cause Im always angry.
I regret it everyday.
I remember jumping the bandwagon on this indian kid in high school. They picked on him because he “smelled different” (read: his mom cooked actual real food and it likely permiated his clothes) and his dad was a teacher there. I joined because my dumbass just wanted to fit in after being an outcast all my life.
He was almost a social pariah. I think about him way too often and feel horrible.
Couldnt find him on socials to apologize, having looked once every year or so (every time it haunted me, really).
Gabriel from Bravo, if you’re reading this, on behalf of the whole school – we’re so fucking sorry, man.
I wasn’t really a bully, but I did have a “wannabe mean girl” streak in middle school. I was on the lowest rung of the ladder within the clique and was often bullied in mean girl ways by the other girls. In order to maintain any friendships, I would often gossip or plant seeds of dislike towards those on the top of the echelon.
By the end of middle school, things shook out okay. Most of us were decently friendly towards each other and I had some really solid friendships, managing to become decently well-liked. Unfortunately, the girl that was pinpointed as the top of the group was left without any friends at all. It is a rotten thing to have done, as I was a big orchestrator of getting her on the outs. In hindsight, I’m positive that she was not the one that was the ringleader of the bullying I experienced, just the one that most people wanted to be friends with which made them feel the need to be mean to me in order to establish their position in the hierarchy.
The only instance I remember being outwardly and obviously mean was to a boy that asked me to be his girlfriend. He was not considered cool and it embarrassed me to be asked out by him. I told him he was a nerd in order to distance myself from him. I felt guilty for years and apologized when we got older and he said he had no idea what I was talking about. So there’s that, I guess.
I think most bullies don’t remember what they did, or they think the target deserved it. Some may feel sorry.
I wasn’t a bully, but was cordial with one. He just never made me his target, but he really tormented others in elementary school. He calmed down in 8th grade and became a really great guy in high school. He still is, and I always knew he had the potential to be incredible. About 5 years ago, he admitted on social media that his father sexually abused him until he passed away when he was 10. I’m sure he regretted it, but couldn’t control his rage. We all grew up together, and no one has openly said they hold a grudge. We all love him and I wish I could love younger him more. He deserved it.
My uncle was always a piece of shit. I’m surprised there aren’t most posts on this about family members but I haven’t read them all through. He was always a jerk and I never trusted him even as a small child because it was obvious. As I got older he met his fiance through a dating service and brought her around our house. I felt incredibly bad for her because I knew he would never be able to love anyone, despite being a professor. They got married and had a son. THe son (my cousin) would act very weird and obsessively cling to his mom as a kid. He was very withdrawn too. I later learned the uncle became a flaming alcoholic and beat his wife severely. She was a very respected nurse that worked for a very large hospital. She told me she had to put a restraining order on him, I’m assuming this was done before the divorce went through. My grandparents (the uncle’s parents) cut the abused wife off, supporting the wife-beating uncle and making excuses for him. The ex wife couldn’t believe this. But I do. My grandparents, specifically my grandpa was also always just an asshole so I’m not surprised, and I’m not surprised the uncle got his asshole tendencies from him. If I ever see my uncle in the afterlife I am going to kick his ass all over the place.
I was very mean to an overweight girl in elementary school. I was such a brat at that age. But as an adult I see a kid (myself) who lived in trauma and would do anything to be liked. So in a way if I see my kids reacting the way I did, it would be a red flag (not a justification). But I’ve searched for the girl on fb as an adult to apologize. I was very quiet and nice beyond elementary and always go out of my way to make people feel comfortable now.
I used to bully a girl in middle school. I didn’t think much of it then. Thought it was cool or something.
Later I realised my mistake after years and even apologized to her
Born with a pretty annoying medical condition, I always thought of myself as a burden. I guess I was scared of people, like friends and family, leaving me behind because I was a burden, so I’ve always tried to act overly-confident, physically strong, and very edgy to hide that insecurity.
Looking back, I did very cringey things and said very cringey things. I cared way too much about what people thought of me and how I would look in other people’s eyes. I’ve hurt kids for no reason to try and look cool, and I’ve said hurtful things to them. When I grew out of that angst some time in high school, surprise-surprise, I ended up with no friends and no social skills to make new friends.
I was a bully to my sister. I do heavily regret it. I was a child who couldn’t control my anger, and what didn’t help was my parents not…. Always parenting us.
Eventually I grew up and leaned to control my anger.
Worst I did was exclude someone from a place where people could use their phones because he played Minecraft (a game I myself was made fun of for still playing during the dark age).
Honestly looking back, I’m ashamed because I still play old games and don’t often try and follow new games as much. I would project that insecurity onto someone yet today I’m a guy who still keeps an old phone and who’s consoles are still gen 7 and harps about old fandoms years after content has ended.
I don’t know why i did it. Still do it to some degree. Yes I regret it.
I gave my younger brother hell. I remember how bad a big brother I was at least once a day.
I bullied a kid in high-school for a couple of weeks at the start of the term. Later on I apologized to him and he became my best friend back then. After more than 20 years, we are still good friends.
I was bullied for years for being emo lol. One day I snapped and beat up a girl that bullied me every day since middle school and this was in 10th grade and I got expelled but I was never bullied again after that even at my new school.
I used to bully my siblings. I think I was very angry and frustrated as I was often scapegoated and responsible for their care. I’m not making excuses. I feel terrible in adulthood. I have apologized to all of them and they swear there are no hard feelings and we’re all very close but… I remember doing it and I hate that I did anything to make their lives harder.