I’m too embarrased to ask for a referral, what should I do?

r/

I’m currently a final year integrated Masters undergraduate student at a UK University, Mechanical Engineering specialising in Biomedical Engineering. I really want to go into research for a PhD because I absolutely love working in a lab setting. For my project in third year I did research in creating a cardiac patch using electrospinning and this year I’m doing research on a Layer-by-Layer hydbrid depositing machine, so basically both are specialising in additive manufacturing.

I want to apply for PhD but obviously I would need at least two referrees, I want to ask my third year project supervisor but I didn’t really do well during my presentation and got a 58% in it because I answered a question wrong and my supervisor got mad at me so I’m kind of embarrased to ask her for it. However, I still work in the same lab that she does this year and whenever I see her she still greets me warmly, when she heard I was doing research with her colleague (her and my current supervisor are close friends), she even congratulated me.

Do you think if I ask her for a referral she will be happy to do it, or would it not even be worth the embarrassment? :'(

Comments

  1. darknessaqua20 Avatar

    She will be happy to do it. People give referrals for a lot less.

    She still greets you warmly + she congratulated you >>> a moment of annoyance at you answering a question wrong a while ago, which given how busy they usually are, she definitely doesn’t remember

  2. Princess_of_Eboli Avatar

    You might as well ask – what have you to lose?

  3. LordHalfling Avatar

    Tell her that you want to apply to a Phd program and ask her if she thinks it is an appropriate step for you. You will find out what she thinks without explicitly asking for a reference. You can insert brief commentary on how you felt you’ve grown.

    If the conversation goes in a positive direction, you can then supplement it by asking if she’d feel comfortable acting as a reference.

  4. Accurate-Style-3036 Avatar

    The only grad student i ever saw that might have had trouble was giving a dept seminar on plasmas. The question was asked what is the difference between a hot plasma and a cold plasma .. He had no idea.. The answer is about 12000 degrees see the problem.?

  5. GonzagaFragrance206 Avatar

    This is just my 2 cents to your post:

    1. Writing letters of recommendation (LOR) is part of our job (Professor) and we understand it comes with the territory. Every professor is different, but I, myself have written letters of recommendation for A, B, and C level students. I’ve written LOR for students who I had great relationships with and would talk to quite often and also for students who I had to look up on my grading scale from years past because I could hardly recall them because they interacted with me so little and did not stand out in anyway, shape, or form.

    2. The one thing I want to emphasize is do not expect any of your professors to lie, hype you up, or stretch the truth in terms of how great you are when it comes to your ability to do graduate level work, abilities to conduct research, your ability to teach, or even your overall performance in their class when they are writing your LOR. At least for me, if you were a subpar student who did not stand out in anyway, I am going to write that in your LOR. At the end of the day, we have a responsibility and respect to the profession/field and to other fellow professors within our field who teach at other institutions of which you are attempting to gain admission into. One thing a lot of students don’t realize is we are co-signing you and tying our names/reputations to you as a prospective student into whatever program you are applying to. If you’re a shit doctoral student, I may bump into one of your professors at your current institution and they say “you’re that dude who wrote a LOR for so and so. Yeah, she/he sucks.” Every field is small in the grand scheme of things and we all go to the same national conferences. You’d be surprised by how many of us know each other or are connected in some way.

    3. Just a heads up, my usual rules and stipulations for writing a LOR for any student is:

    • I expect a face-to-face meeting with you to discuss the ins and outs of this LOR before I start writing it.
    • Give me 2 weeks minimum “heads up” to write the LOR. I will not drop everything I am doing in my life to write this LOR for you. You need to be clear when the deadline is for any application you are asking me to write a LOR for.
    • Tell me who the LOR is to be addressed to (certain person, university, company).
    • Tell me what information this person/institution/company want to know about you.
    • Tell me and provide me with any talking points or information you want me to cover in your LOR. If you want me to highlight any particular strengths of yours in your CV or personal character strengths, you need to tell me this.