I (29m) was seeing this girl on and off for approximately 6 months. She wanted it casual and was also seeing someone else on the side. During this period I also slept with my female best friend a few times, whom is a bisexual. Although really I think I was probably doing this to compensate for her seeing someone else.
Anyways, the girl broke it off with her other man and we started getting more exclusive, just for her to dump me by text shortly afterwards. I was getting over it and realising we weren’t right together, and considering pursuing a relationship with the female best friend. Something she’d indicated she was open to it.
I was texting my friend yesterday when she revealed she’d started seeing the girl I was seeing, and had been for a couple weeks. And it had been exactly a couple weeks since I got dumped, so likely the very same day.
I feel really hurt, upset and betrayed over this. To the verge of suicidal ideation. More so by my friend doing this behind my back to me than losing that particular girl. I also find it a bit embarrassing in a way, losing a girl who didn’t previously like girls to a girl so publicly has bruised my male ego. I understand that might be a very fragile and insecure way to feel, but I am definitely feeling that.
My best friend says she’s sorry and would like to remain best friends if possible. I also would like to be friends with her but I just feel very hurt by the whole thing. I don’t have many friends I connect to do it would be a shame to lose that friendship, but if it has upset me so much, it might be easier to just move on from the whole thing and live a much lonelier but more peaceful life.
Can anyone help me with any outsiders insight into this situation, or advice on what to do?
Comments
Why do you feel betrayed by your best friend? Or either, really? You weren’t exclusive with either of them. Your best friend isn’t obligated to inform you of how her relationship status has changed because you’re not together, just casual.
Sounds like you had feelings for her that you didn’t accept until it was too late.
It’s fair to be hurt and insecure, can’t deny that. It is wise to step back from them both at least for a little while until you can get back to your normal self.
Get into some therapy or counselling to help you process your feelings and decide if you can still be friends with them.
best thing that happen to you. in the case you learned now that relations are something you cant play with or bend without harming them. all those relations you had were with partners who did not care to share partners and to ditch a partner and jump to another the next day.
those relations were not real, they were sex.
find a girl with morals and standards , one who will run away from open relationship or cheating behavior. build something with her ,avoid thinking with your friend down stairs and cheat. then maybe you will find peace and respect and create a family.
what was your longest exclusive relations? im guessing not long.