Yeah, it is totally normal to like helping people because their gratitude makes you feel good. Psychology backs this up in a bunch of different ways: getting thanked hits both your internal drive to do good and your natural love of positive feedback. Feeling appreciated acts like a little reward that makes you want to help more. Plus, helping others actually releases feel-good chemicals in your brain… it’s called a “helper’s high.” Even the idea that we do nice things partly because it feels good fits with how humans are wired. Enjoying someone’s gratitude just means your brain is doing exactly what it’s supposed to.
So, life is all about making yourself. Learning to be human.
The first few times you do something, it is artificial and performative. It’s hard and frankly a reward is nice. Then it becomes habit. This is a tricky step because if it is a habit, you might still want that reward. That can create an entitled attitude. But if you dodge that, then it just becomes who you are. You are just a good, generous person who helps people because that isn’t what you do. That’s what you are.
Helping people because you like their response is the first step (an important one!) on the road to moral enlightenment.
Yes but it can become self destructive. I have a friend who spends all his time outside work doing things for others and doesn’t have a penny to his name because he gives all his money away. Literally impossible for him to get anywhere in life living that way.
Absolutely that’s totally normal and honestly really beautiful. Wanting to help and feeling good when you make someone’s day better doesn’t make it selfish, it just shows you have a kind heart that values connection.
Actually, I was travelling the past week and helped1) bring down bags from the overhead lockers for two short women with their heavy carry on luggage that should have been checked in 2) a woman struggling to lift her bag onto a bag trolley 3) a mother with her baby at a check in counter. None of them said thank you, no one smiled and the help wasn’t appreciated. So no I help people because it is innate without any expectation of gratitude.
Just make sure you know that not everyone will thank you for doing something for them. Don’t do someone a favour with the sole expectation that you will 100% get any response, the expression of gratitude is always the bonus. I’m a wheelchair user and I try my best to thank everyone that steps aside or stops so I can get passed them, but not everyone is like that. Some people think it’s their right, some are just too busy getting through life and others are either miserable or just plain rude.
of course, I appreciate grateful people, but I also don’t take against people who are not. the only ones who’d I Never forgive are those who would maliciously lie about you or intentionally blame you to get something out of it like money, that’s like already evil.. Even if my hospital doesn’t ban such patients and their families, I would Never take them again in my patient list.
Comments
Yeah, it is totally normal to like helping people because their gratitude makes you feel good. Psychology backs this up in a bunch of different ways: getting thanked hits both your internal drive to do good and your natural love of positive feedback. Feeling appreciated acts like a little reward that makes you want to help more. Plus, helping others actually releases feel-good chemicals in your brain… it’s called a “helper’s high.” Even the idea that we do nice things partly because it feels good fits with how humans are wired. Enjoying someone’s gratitude just means your brain is doing exactly what it’s supposed to.
It’s normal to like helping people, regardless of their response and/or gratitude. It’s called altruism.
It’s fun and gratifying to be nice. I only do it when I’m sincere.
So, life is all about making yourself. Learning to be human.
The first few times you do something, it is artificial and performative. It’s hard and frankly a reward is nice. Then it becomes habit. This is a tricky step because if it is a habit, you might still want that reward. That can create an entitled attitude. But if you dodge that, then it just becomes who you are. You are just a good, generous person who helps people because that isn’t what you do. That’s what you are.
Helping people because you like their response is the first step (an important one!) on the road to moral enlightenment.
Humman beings are empathetic it’s natural it’s how we survive in the past
No, we need more of that.
Yes but it can become self destructive. I have a friend who spends all his time outside work doing things for others and doesn’t have a penny to his name because he gives all his money away. Literally impossible for him to get anywhere in life living that way.
Absolutely that’s totally normal and honestly really beautiful. Wanting to help and feeling good when you make someone’s day better doesn’t make it selfish, it just shows you have a kind heart that values connection.
Actually, I was travelling the past week and helped1) bring down bags from the overhead lockers for two short women with their heavy carry on luggage that should have been checked in 2) a woman struggling to lift her bag onto a bag trolley 3) a mother with her baby at a check in counter. None of them said thank you, no one smiled and the help wasn’t appreciated. So no I help people because it is innate without any expectation of gratitude.
Just make sure you know that not everyone will thank you for doing something for them. Don’t do someone a favour with the sole expectation that you will 100% get any response, the expression of gratitude is always the bonus. I’m a wheelchair user and I try my best to thank everyone that steps aside or stops so I can get passed them, but not everyone is like that. Some people think it’s their right, some are just too busy getting through life and others are either miserable or just plain rude.
Yes
of course, I appreciate grateful people, but I also don’t take against people who are not. the only ones who’d I Never forgive are those who would maliciously lie about you or intentionally blame you to get something out of it like money, that’s like already evil.. Even if my hospital doesn’t ban such patients and their families, I would Never take them again in my patient list.