Hello, I’ve seen some people post about their situations here and this is the first time I’m posting about anything here so I’m sorry if I’m not coherent. Also English is not my first language.
So I (29F) am in a LDR with my partner (32M). We usually have a great relationship, he is caring, funny, loyal, smart, handsome (even though he has confidence issues) and overall a lovely person. I fly out to see him every few months. And I thought this was a great relationship but a week ago a person in his circle died and he was grieving. I tried to console him and tried to be there for him but he rejected my advances. He said he didn’t want to talk to me cause I’m stressing him out and that he wants to be alone. So I asked if he felt better if i gave him space and he said yes. So that’s what I did. For a week we would only interact when he reached out and I would always send him a reassuring message that I’m here for him and I love him whenever he needs me I’m only a message away. I even offered to fly see him but he said no cause I would only make it worse for him so I respected his wish and tried giving him space.
But yesterday I kind of realised I was also feeling hurt. And maybe I’m being selfish maybe I’m in the wrong here. But he never asked me how I am. Not even once. I have my own struggles and I want someone to be there for me too but I can’t. And the fact that in this hard time for him I’m not the one the wants to lean on is strange for me. Isn’t your partner your emotional support in life ? Isn’t that’s what you supposed to do in a relationship?
So I asked him if we could talk and he said he doesn’t want to. So maybe I’m the one in the wrong here but I said that sometimes we have to do stuff we don’t want to but we need to and after that he called me. I tried talking to him that he needs to communicate with me and I’m there for him but he started yelling at me and told me that I’m no there and he hang up on me. Then he shut off his phone. So I sent him a message saying that I understand that it’s hard for him and that I’m here for him no matter what but this is really disrespectful what he is doing. And I woke up to a message saying he is done and he just wants to be alone. And I want to respect his decision maybe his love is not there anymore or something but it scares me that he is not ok. I can’t just leave a person I love when he is in such a bad place. He is severally depressed. He only goest to work and home, doesn’t cook, barely talks to anyone and sleeps all the time for 14h at a time. Also he has some financial struggles and I’ve been helping him put financially for a few months now. I’ve been ordering him food and paying his bills. I offered to pay for therapy too but he ignores it because he feels like everything is falling apart anyways.
So I don’t know what to do. He just broke up with me but it doesn’t feel right to just leave him in a place like this. What do I do ? Just leave him and move on? Stay with him and support him even though he is treating me poorly?
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Backup of the post’s body: Hello, I’ve seen some people post about their situations here and this is the first time I’m posting about anything here so I’m sorry if I’m not coherent. Also English is not my first language.
So I (29F) am in a LDR with my partner (32M). We usually have a great relationship, he is caring, funny, loyal, smart, handsome (even though he has confidence issues) and overall a lovely person. I fly out to see him every few months. And I thought this was a great relationship but a week ago a person in his circle died and he was grieving. I tried to console him and tried to be there for him but he rejected my advances. He said he didn’t want to talk to me cause I’m stressing him out and that he wants to be alone. So I asked if he felt better if i gave him space and he said yes. So that’s what I did. For a week we would only interact when he reached out and I would always send him a reassuring message that I’m here for him and I love him whenever he needs me I’m only a message away. I even offered to fly see him but he said no cause I would only make it worse for him so I respected his wish and tried giving him space.
But yesterday I kind of realised I was also feeling hurt. And maybe I’m being selfish maybe I’m in the wrong here. But he never asked me how I am. Not even once. I have my own struggles and I want someone to be there for me too but I can’t. And the fact that in this hard time for him I’m not the one the wants to lean on is strange for me. Isn’t your partner your emotional support in life ? Isn’t that’s what you supposed to do in a relationship?
So I asked him if we could talk and he said he doesn’t want to. So maybe I’m the one in the wrong here but I said that sometimes we have to do stuff we don’t want to but we need to and after that he called me. I tried talking to him that he needs to communicate with me and I’m there for him but he started yelling at me and told me that I’m no there and he hang up on me. Then he shut off his phone. So I sent him a message saying that I understand that it’s hard for him and that I’m here for him no matter what but this is really disrespectful what he is doing. And I woke up to a message saying he is done and he just wants to be alone. And I want to respect his decision maybe his love is not there anymore or something but it scares me that he is not ok. I can’t just leave a person I love when he is in such a bad place. He is severally depressed. He only goest to work and home, doesn’t cook, barely talks to anyone and sleeps all the time for 14h at a time. Also he has some financial struggles and I’ve been helping him put financially for a few months now. I’ve been ordering him food and paying his bills. I offered to pay for therapy too but he ignores it because he feels like everything is falling apart anyways.
So I don’t know what to do. He just broke up with me but it doesn’t feel right to just leave him in a place like this. What do I do ? Just leave him and move on? Stay with him and support him even though he is treating me poorly?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.