TL:DR I have found that the women I(F33) attract (like my previous partner F34, 19 months) are always women who are ready to finally accept and explore their lesbian side. I want to figure out why to avoid this in the future and if anyone else experiences it.
It’s exciting, and they always have remained lesbian, but it has never worked out…. a great deal of obsession on their sides, which always fades leaving them seeking greener pastures and more experience….. Well thats what it seems like to me.
Let me descibe myself superficially. Im pretty masc, most people think I am nonbinary but I am happy with feminine pronouns. I am cute and pretty rugged, not like some of these refined picture perfect BOIs out there, (too busy enjoying life to spend hours posing for pictures). I am very unique, quirky, gentle and helpful.
I also struggle sexually, because I never date people with more experience and I struggle to take charge. I always feel like I am not fulfilling them sexually.
Its like a vicious cycle…. and like legitimately, women who are secure in their sexually are never interested.
Any opinions or advice?
Comments
It’s totally valid to not want to be someone’s experimenting phase, but it sounds like a boundary that you should put to yourself. It might take more patience to find someone, but it’s so possible. You can work on your confidence little by little, because this cycle that you describe (partner on the verge with sexuality, coming out as lesbian, breaking up) sounds very taxing on your self esteem. It’s up to you to break this cycle.
Im a bisexual woman and have been out for more than 10 years; this boundary of not looking for people that are experimenting was something I had to implement years ago (I’d say 7 or 8). Because hoenstly, it’s exhausting and it’s not for me, and as you say, sex usually sucks.
Do you have queer friends, go to queer spaces? That would also help a ton. But I think you just need to reeducate your taste a little bit and nope away once you hear certain keywords such as experimenting or figuring it out lol. Not to sound mean or offend anyone, but these experiences can be so tiring for someone that knows what they want.