My bf and all his friends went to school together and graduated the same year so they’re now all turning 30 together. They’ve been talking about what they want to do and finally decided on a road trip around the country to visit various states to see cool things and have some fun experiences.
I’m invited on the trip but I’d be the only woman going. It’s not an issue financially or with work or family but I’m not sure if I’d feel out of place. Has anyone done something similar and wish they hadn’t gone? 1 of the 5 is my bf and 3 of the 5 are in relationships. I’m not sure why 2 of the gfs aren’t coming as well but I know 1 is because they have young children.
I’ve spent time with his friends on lots of occasions and have been the one woman there before. They’re all nice guys and it wasn’t weird but it wasn’t for an extended time like over nights included because their plan is a 2 week road trip.
I’ve got no issues with my bf and I wouldn’t be scared to tell him if I had a problem with anything but I don’t want something to happen and be the bitch who ruined the birthday trip with the boys. What do y’all think? I haven’t traveled much or been on a true vacation in a long while. I think I’d feel pretty safe in this situation and it could turn out to be a great experience. Any advice? Thank you 🙂
Comments
I just can’t imagine having fun around men.😂
Let them have their testosterone-filled boy trip. It’s one thing to hang out with ‘the guys’ for a few hours but 2 weeks? Yeah, there’s no way I’d go.
Let him go alone with his friends, its a road trip for them. You can plan your own trip together later. As someone who road trips with my husband I wouldn’t want to do it with his friends or my friends along if we were the only couple because when you’re enjoying the country you want to do couple things and that would take away from time with friends. Either you do a friends trip, a trip with other couples, or just the 2 of you (2+ if you have children). Otherwise someone will feel left out and not enjoy it as much.
Your bf is probably being overly nice by inviting you, but everyone is going to have more fun if you don’t go (including you).
Nope. At least 3/5 will be farting in the car non stop. 5/5 will find it hilarious. you’ll hate them all by day 3, maybe day 2. That’s alot of testosterone. I’d bow out gracefully and let the boys have a boys trip.
I did a float down the river with an old bf and his buddies. Super awkward. I wouldn’t do that again much less 2 weeks.
I’d go, no reason you need to miss out because of your gender. If the group is cool then go have fun! Just communicate whatever needs you may have ahead of time as far as expectations (him not excluding you by accident, his friends being respectful etc) and then if anyone gets mad at you for bringing up an issue that’s on them, and you’ll know not to go again.Â
Even if they don’t say it out loud, I’m guessing they’d secretly prefer to have it be a boys’ trip. Their thirties are going to probably be more family oriented, so this might be the last time in a while that they’re able to have an outing like this. I’d bow out and let them have their fun.
I wouldn’t go. It’s nice they invited you. Let them have fun. Road trips keep you in really close proximity for a long time.
Tell your BF you want to go on a trip together or with other couples later in the year. Something like a cruise or resort where each couple has their own room to retreat to, and you can all get together for activities and meals throughout the day
If you get along with his friends then it’s no issue going. But, I’d say let them go by themselves and have a guy’s trip. Their all 30, and once they have kids and get married they might not be as carefree on a trip or have the time.
Maybe they all invited their girlfriends but they all thought the same to let the boys be alone. Also, do you like road trips? I hate them lol. The US isn’t that exciting( depending on where you go… if your talking about the US lol) If you have time and the money ask a good friend( or fam) of yours if she wants to go on vacation somewhere you both want and you can have alot more fun going to a place you both want to go to. Especially if you haven’t traveled much or gone on a vacation in a long time go somewhere really fun for you!!!
This might be an empty invite.
I think it’s definitely a bit tougher if it’s a 2-week trip, probably better to stay.
*Also ngl, reading that one of the gfs is staying because they have young children made me roll my eyes, this doesn’t have much to do with the above but that just stood out to me.
Is it possible to do half? Enjoy the first week, fly home from one of the stops and allow them to have some boys time solo at the end?
I’d double check that you’re ACTUALLY invited, like they’re actually keen for you to come, rather than a courtesy invite that they’d rather didn’t get taken up
But if so, I’d go for sure! Def have times of letting them do their thing if it’s something you’re not keen on, but overall I wouldn’t miss a good trip, if I was actually truly welcome
If my one friend invited her bf on an otherwise all girls trip I would be annoyed. It changes the dynamic.
Are any of these other dudes in relationships? I’d feel weird going if that’s the case.
Ever seen Eurotrip? Literally a movie about 1 girl road tripping with a bunch of other guys
When men get away for an extended period of time they often like to get a little wild. Do things they can’t do around their partner or family. For instance get really drunk, go to a strip club, not shower for a week, eat nasty meals, talk about women’s bodies, tell dirty jokes, etc.
First, I would ask if you are comfortable with those things? If not, probably best to skip.
Then I would ask if you want to be around that?
If so, I would ask your partner to survey the guys. Tell him to keep it anonymous from you, so you don’t hold it against anyone, but pull the guys and see if the other 4 are cool with it. If yes, go have fun being a guy for a couple of weeks.
In my 20s and early 30s I enjoyed being one of the guys. Ended up in a number of situations where I was the only woman. As I got older, my tastes changed, but it was plenty of fun back then.
Let them go without uou
I don’t think it is weird. You may end up feeling like a third wheel but I see nothing else wrong with the idea.
Are they his friends? Or are they your (plural) friends.
That should make the decision pretty obvious.
I personally wouldn’t go. Let them enjoy their guys trip
Girl, leave those men alone. Plan a couples trip later in the summer
Nothing will ruin friendships quite like a long road trip. Keep your distance.
I wouldn’t go. I think it would be awkward and you being there absolutely changes the dynamic. I would feel like such a pick-me if I insisted on going along. Let your boyfriend have his guys trip with his friends. Its rare as an adult to get to do something like that, and everyone will enjoy it more if you aren’t there.
Guys need opportunities to foster and nourish close friendships with each other. We want men to be more in touch with their emotions and relationships. This is how that happens.
Plan a treat-yo-self weekend for yourself and send him off to hang out with his friends. It’s good for everyone.
Urgh. Do you really want to be in a 2 week sausage party? There’s also a 90% chance that they only extended you a courtesy invite and don’t actually want you to come.
Let them bro out alone. This seems like a fun right of passage bonding experience for them.
Don’t go. Plan something for the two of you to enjoy alone.
Weird takes in this thread.
Were you invited? Would you like to go? If yes to both, go. Not going because of some restrictive “my gender isn’t in the majority” concept is both limiting to you and insulting to them.
Consider if the genders were reversed: a couple goes along with four female friends, three of whom are in relationships but their significant others can’t go for various childcare/work reasons. Is that so weird for the guy? No.
If you think they’re just inviting you out of politeness, but they really want a “boy’s trip”, then ask your boyfriend explicitly. Don’t miss out on a fun time because you’re assuming what other people want without asking them.
Can you stay home, but plan part of the trip where you join then for a few days to do a thing all together? Best of both worlds? Besides, two weeks away seems like a long time apart, and joining up in the middle of it could be a fun way to connect with him as well as his friends. Ask him to leave his guys behind for just one night and get a date night alone with you. I know if my partner flew out to meet me during a two week trip the guys wouldn’t see me for a couple days.
If they were your friends in high school too, I think not weird. If they’re mostly his friends and you’re just kinda there by association and friendly then maybe won’t be a good time for you.
Have you seen the movie Midsommar? How secure are you in this relationship?
People are jumping to a lot of conclusions here in the comments.
I’ve been in similar shoes. A week long camping/cabin trip and it was an absolute blast and we all enjoyed our time together.
Whenever I’m invited to my boyfriends “dude outings” I just tell him something along the lines of “hey, if you or your friends just want some guy time i am totally cool with that. You don’t need to invite me for the sake of inviting me.” And that invites him to either say “yes, this should be a dudes trip” or “no we all want you to come”. You should be able to have this kind of conversation with your partner. The fact that his friend directly invited you tells me that they actually want you to go.
Believe it or not (people in the comments), men and women can have fun together even if it’s your friends partner!
Hopefully it’s not an empty invitation to Sweden for Harga’s Midsommar 90 year festival. Jokes aside, I would not go for the sake of allowing men a very seldom chance to connect with one another without a woman there.
Doooooont go
Is it a shared friend group? Not weird.
Is it his friend group that you get along with but are not close friends with? Weird.
I do not see any problem at all if you feel safe.
As long as you’re not going to rural Sweden…