I’m 20 years old. Never wanted kids and I don’t think I ever will. I was around 12 when I decided I didn’t want kids and as I think about it more, I just want it less and less.
I’ve spoken to some family about this (mainly my aunt, mother and older brother) and they tell me that I will most likely change my mind when I’m older but I’m confident I won’t.
So the question is… those of you who were in a similar position to me, did you end up changing your mind?
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I’m 33 now and if anything am even more sure I don’t want kids, after seeing friends and relatives have to deal with them.
My son was about 14 and said he never wanted kids. Was consistent throughout his 20s. Is 35 now and is now for the first time rethinking this.
I did. I never wanted kids and I didn’t have them until I was in my 30s. I don’t really know what the catalyst for change was necessarily. I wound up on the traditional path of marriage/homeownership then kids so it’s possible there’s some nature v nurture there.
My family was seriously dysfunctional. So I did not think that raising children would be a good idea for me.
But I met a woman at 28 who had a 4 year old daughter who really took a liking to me. Mom liked me too. So there I was, a parent. Within we years she was calling me “Dad” and her biological father by his first name.
A year later we got married (the mom) and had a child of our own.
Here we are all these years later, those “kids” are 32 and 39 and have, through no fault of my own, turned out pretty well.
It’s crazy. And mom and I are still together.
Yeah, but it took a very long while. YMMV: My wife and I had horrible childhoods and never felt like we were up to the job when we were younger. How can you raise a kid properly, we thought, when you were never raised so yourself? And hated your childhood?
But we realized that we weren’t the awful people we thought we were, not at all. And that we had some really good ideas about what a family should be like. And we managed to build a really nice life for ourselves, and that it would have been wrong not to share it.
We adopted a beautiful baby girl when we were both forty.
My buddy and his wife have been anti kids since I’ve known them (probably late 20s). I just met him for coffee and he said they decided to try for a kid. No idea what prompted the change, but something definitely shifted.
I was about the same age when I started to feel as though I didn’t want children. Probably 14 or 15.I am now 50 (M) and childless. I am certain when I tell you I have not ever regretted that decision. Not for one minute.
35 now. Still don’t want kids
I’m my 40s and only getting more sure as the years go by. The only way you should have a kid is if you’re absolutely certain that’s what you want to do. “What if I regret not doing it” isn’t even close to good enough reason to do it
No. I knew early that I didn’t want kids, and not even meeting a couple of amazing women in my late 20s and 30s made me change my mind.
It’s not that I don’t like kids. My nieces and nephews love me. I have a few friends who had kids and their kids adored me. And I’ve done my fair share of babysitting. But I never wanted kids of my own.
I’m in my mid-40’s and we just had our first baby. I thought for the longest time that parenthood wasn’t for me (had very bad father experiences), but I met the right person who made being a parent make sense. I’m so grateful now that we did it, and our newborn son is the coolest thing ever.
35 now and probably more convinced that I don’t want kids now than I was back then
Didn’t really want kids till recently. I thought the world was too terrible of a place to bring children into. Then I met the right woman and everything changed. I still fret about bringing a child into this world, but with the right partner I feel confident we will be able to provide for them.
Little baby is now due in two months.
Nope. Got a vasectomy at 33 and never looked back.
My girlfriend now wife made it clear from the very start that she didn’t want kids. I was never 100% sure either way.
We’ve been together almost 9 years and I still don’t care one way or the other. We’re both 38 and haven’t changed our minds.
It’s not for everyone and that’s not a bad thing, despite what people say. We’ve been told we’ll change our minds by loads of friends and family and yet here we are!
Same boat as you, knew I didn’t want kids when I was very young. As time goes on I want them less and less, got a vasectomy last year to make sure I never have them.
I don’t have the patience, time, or financials to bring in a child to this shit planet that’s only getting worse.
I have children, however, my younger sister does not. She also decided in her younger years (around 14) she was not interested in having children and had no desire to have them. My family said the same thing to her (myself included, and I’ve since apologized for my behavior) that your family is saying to you. As a society we really need to stop forcing these ideas onto people that they’re supposed to grow up and become parents. My sister turned 36 this year – still kid free, still loving it. Her husband (who also was very adamant he did not want children) had a vasectomy many years ago to ensure they didn’t accidentally get pregnant and my sister searched for years for a doctor who would give her a hysterectomy. She finally got one and they’re both still very happy and healthy without having any children. Stick to your own wants and desires. Don’t let anyone sway you into believing you “want” kids because that’s what’s “expected”. If you change your mind, cool. Kids are a lot of work and as a parent I can say that in my experience they’ve been amazing additions to my life and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But kids are hard. They’re not a lifetime movie. & there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with not wanting children! One thing I would say as a piece of advice – make sure anyone you want to have a relationship with is on the same page. The desire to have children (or not) will be a fundamental conflict in the relationship if both parties are not on the same page. If you do not want children make sure your spouse also does not want children and is not on the fence. Good luck OP! Your feelings and wants are valid!
I never wanted kids my whole life. I had a suspicion that probably wouldn’t change but figured who knows. I’m 30 now and a bunch of my friends have kids and holy fuck I don’t want kids more than ever. It looks exhausting. Also I don’t really find children cute in anyway. In fact, I find them quite annoying. And in this day and age, half of my friends aren’t having kids either so l’m not even the odd one out. Now I travel the world and do whatever the fuck I want with those friends because I chose to not have kids. Zero regrets. Wait till your friends have kids then you’ll know.
I never wanted kids. Was certain all the way into my 30s. Met someone who I loved for whom it was a dealbreaker. We now have a 17 year old and a 15 year old. Biggest mistake of my life. I hate what I’ve become but make sure I provide for them all and be the dad I’m supposed to be. I coach their sports, spend time with them, take them on holidays – all the family stuff. But I’m secretly dying inside and can’t wait for them to leave home. I’d give anything for a do over.
My wife and I have been together for 24 years. We decided at the age of 18/19 when we first got serious that we didn’t want kids ever.
We haven’t changed our minds or reconsidered once.
DINK life.