I (29F) gave birth to my first child, a beautiful baby boy, three months ago. My husband (32M) and I were beyond excited, but from the moment I announced my pregnancy, my MIL made things difficult.
She always had this weird obsession with my husband’s ex, constantly talking about how “perfect” they were together and how she was “the one that got away.” When I got pregnant, she made passive-aggressive comments like, “Are you sure it’s his?” I brushed it off as her being annoying—until I found out she wasn’t just talking.
A few weeks after my son was born, my SIL pulled me aside and told me something shocking: MIL had been trying to get a DNA sample from my baby. She asked SIL if she could “borrow” a piece of his hair or his pacifier to send for testing. SIL, thankfully, shut it down, but MIL didn’t stop there. She later tried to take my baby’s used bottle from our house when she came to visit!
When I found out, I was livid. I told my husband that, from now on, MIL is never allowed to be alone with our child. If she thinks she has the right to sneak around and question his paternity, she doesn’t get the privilege of unsupervised visits.
My husband agreed that what she did was wrong, but he thinks my punishment is too harsh. He says she was “just being paranoid” and that now that she sees our son looks like him, she won’t try anything again. Meanwhile, MIL is furious, crying to the whole family that I’m “keeping her grandson away from her” and “making her feel like a criminal.” Some relatives think I’m being dramatic and that I should just “let it go” because she’s “just an excited grandma.”
I don’t care how “excited” she is—this was a huge violation of trust. But now I’m wondering… am I overreacting? AITA?
Comments
our MIL seriously violated your trust by trying to secretly get a DNA sample from your baby. That’s not something you can just brush off, and you’re right to be upset. It’s not about being “paranoid” or “excited,” it’s about respect for your family and boundaries.
Your husband might think it’s too harsh, but this kind of behavior is a huge red flag. She shouldn’t be left alone with your child until she shows she can respect your rules. You’re not overreacting, this is about protecting your baby.
NTA. If she doesn’t trust you, why should you trust her?
Personally I think you’re nta that seems really weird to try to force a test on your child like that? And if she does get it, what’s the next thing she’s gonna try to do.
NTA, but you and your husband need to come to an agreement on this, and he needs to handle it. It’s his mother. She sounds unhinged.
Fake
I don’t think requiring supervised visits with your son it too harsh. Explain that once your son is old enough to talk and you can explain sometimes granny’s don’t have good mental health she can spend more time with him.
I know it’s the done thing to forgive, forget and let grandma be grandma, but I can empathise with your fury, OP. MIL’s behaviour is disgusting. She had no right to try and interfere in your marriage and imply you cheated. As for sneaking around and getting her flying money SIL involved – I wouldn’t be able to get past this. Every time she wanted to see or hold my child I would remind her ‘But why when you don’t believe he’s your grandson.’
She has some serious grovelling to do and your DH also needs to shut her down.
NTA. She tried to steal your child’s belongings to run a paternity test without parental permission.
You’re treating her like a criminal, because she acted like one.
After the level of disrespect she showed you, she’s lucky you’re allowing her to see the baby at all. Instead of crying, she should be kissing your ass to show her remorse and earn back your trust.
Oh, hell no. NTA. I’d have very limited contact with her. And she’d be lucky to see my child on his birthday and on Christmas. And never alone. Period. Your husband should back you up on this, and if he doesn’t, you have a husband problem as well as a MIL problem.
NTA
Hell no to that.
She gave up her grandmotherly rights when she started that shit.
NTA. He needs to have your back.
NTA is be going further than that from now on she’s not allowed in my home or near me or my child. I, not risking someone abusing my child who hates me never mind her talking lies to them about me. She’s proven she’s could do both so from now on she’s not allowed near me or my baby. Husband if you don’t stand up for me and support me in this then I will divorce you as I will never risk my child because you say and she’s your mum. That just to make it clear if it does come to divorce you will ensure she is legally not allowed near your child no matter what.
That the truth is if he hadn;t enabled him mum and ignored her behaviour all this time it wouldn’t have came to this. That its disgusting he so clearly thought you should simply accept and let her abuse you because it would make him happy. That anyone who actually loves or respects you would have called her out and put down consequences for her right from the start. That he’s let her damage your marriage and if he doesn’t stand up for you now and accept she’s lost all right to be in mine and my child’s life then he will have thrown away his marriage and child for her to. That in this your not messing about and he better get his head out his ass and decided if he’s married to you or not as so far it’s looks like he’s chosen his toxic mum every time.
How are you keeping her grandchild from her if she’s certain it isn’t your DH’s?
NTA, also your husband needs to take this more seriously. His mother not respecting you at all and her being willing to take drastic measures to get rid of you is really concerning. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to accuse you of abuse/neglect down the road so she can try to steal your baby and claim “grandparents rights”. But yeah she didn’t make a mistake she has literally been scheming against you, you don’t have to tolerate that for your husband’s happiness.
Your husband doesn’t “understand” because HE wasn’t disrespected like that.
He’s ignoring the whole – “your wife is a lying cheater out to ruin your life bullshit”.
And maybe he’s secretly thinks it is a good idea to know for sure.
He’s making excuses for her because he doesn’t see it as the attack on you that it is.
Frankly – she’d NEVER be in my house again. Ever.
And the baby would never go to her house ever.
We can meet at the play park so she can always know that she is only a guest because I allow it.
NTA
Updateme
She shouldn’t even be allowed to see the baby. After all she doesn’t even think it’s her grandbaby.
Just get a test done yourselves. Then mail her a copy. And tell her she’s not allowed to see the child unsupervised because she is untrustworthy.
NTA. Supervised visits is extremely reasonable if not GENEROUS here. Pretty sure trying to collect someones dna for testing without their (or their guardians) consent is illegal. You could probably take legal action agaist her. Maybe all parties need to be reminded of this.
Has she told everyone why she is excluded?
NTA.
But it’s emberrasing that your husband thinks, that getting called a cheater isn’t that bad…
Also that he has no problem with that your MIL thinks he got cheated on… wow…
I’ve read this story before. Is this for real?
YTA for stealing someone else’s fake post and pretending it’s yours and pretending ding it’s real. Down to the pacifier. Jesus Christ you’re a lazy asshole. At least make up your own fake stories.
How can she be an “excited grandma” and also think that the child is not biologically related to her?
Try to get the message out to relatives to clarify…. She allowed to see the grandchild, she just can’t be alone with him or try to run DNA tests on him.
This may sound counter intuitive, but you might wish to consider arranging a paternity test yourself. Only so that you can throw this in her face later.
NTA. MIL was never “thrilled” to be your child’s grandma. She has actively tried to prove she isn’t his grandma. She gets her way now. You are being generous to let her visit at all with her attitude.
NTA, she is obviously looking to break up your marriage anyway she can. Definitely go low contact. She’s crazy.
Your husband defended this weirdo? I’d be done with both of them.
What sorry excuses for humans.
NTA. DO NOT BACK DOWN. As an adult who was raised with a toxic Paternal grandmother than made my dad more toxic and ruined our families’ dynamic, you need to stand up to this.
She’s insane.
u/bot-sleuth-bot
NTA. She kind of is a criminal.
You shouldn’t let her see the baby at all.
NTA. Why would she want a DNA test while claiming you’re keeping her grandson away from her? If she is going to all this effort, she clearly doesn’t think the baby is her son’s so she wouldn’t be grandma, right? She can’t have it both ways.
You should do the DNA test and give it to her as a Mother’s Day present. Fold the results into the shape of a flower and there’s her only gift. You know, since she seems to care about that more than her relationship with you, her son, and her grandson. And keep the supervised visits regardless. You don’t know what the woman is saying to your baby about the ex girlfriend.
The old bag has mental problems…keep her at arms lenght
Isn’t this a repost? I swear I read it on FB the other day, not even here.
I’d insist on a paternity test for your husband and his “supposed” father. And maternity test… How can you be sure she didn’t cheat? Or steal him from the hospital?
She seems to think it’s ok to accuse you of cheating… I think you are perfectly ok to accuse her of it too!!
Oh, NTA, by the way
Never mind alone, she wouldn’t be near him if he was mine….ever.
NTA & not overreacting. You’re the wife & she still pines for the ex…that ship has sailed. She needs to suck it up & get on with life. Your husband chose you, not his ex. That is the root issue here. She wants your baby to not be her son’s so he can “dump you and get back with the ex.” Your husband needs to stand up for you on this issue first and you need to be a united front with the MIL on the DNA issue. It needs to happen fast. My first marriage ended b/c my ex always sided with his mother against me. The umbilical cord was still firmly attached! Good luck OP! Congrats on your new baby.
She’s not an excited grandma, she’s a paranoid woman who thinks her son’s wife is cheating on him, who knows what she might do in the future
NTA. You need a serious talk with your husband. He needs a wake up call about mom. I would point out to him that if his mom thinks it is not his kid, then she does not need to see the kid. Also, she thinks he an idiot who does not know if the kid is his or not. She’s being disrespectful to him. Now, if that makes a difference to him, why did it not count when MIL was dissing you? I like that SIL sees the nonsense.
Why is it so bad to get a paternity test, just do it and say here’s your proof it is your grandson. Now you will spend time away because of how you treated us, if you want time with him you need to earn bad trust because you are hurtful and mean. People make so much drama for little things
Creepy behavior. She is manipulative and bullying you
I hope she doesn’t pull your marriage apart. I would have nothing to do with her. Something is wrong with her.
Wasn’t this story shared literally a few weeks ago?
You’re making her feel like a “criminal” cause she’s trying to make you out to be an adulterer.
Consequences of her own actions
NTA but you might be having a husband problem now too
NO your husband is as big of an asshole as his mother. She wasn’t “just being paranoid” — she is LITERALLY ACCUSING YOU OF HAVING AN AFFAIR. Fuck her. And fuck your husband for defending her. You don’t just have a MIL problem, you have a massive husband problem, too.
DO NOT LET IT GO. And tell your husband if he doesn’t find his damn spine and stand up to his mother you’re going to take the baby and go home to YOUR mother where you WON’T be accused of screwing around.
And while you’re at it, ask ever one of those relatives who say to “let it go” how they’d feel if they were accused of having an affair.
NTA. Play stupid games win stupid prizes
Normal excitement for a new baby doesn’t include being an obsessive asshole trying to prove that she’s not related to the baby with a DNA test and disparaging your fidelity to her son. She over stepped her authority and behaved atrociously and deserves her consequences anyone that says otherwise? Demand that they submit a paternity teat for their own children or their own parentage then they can weigh in. It’s a character assault and needs to be treated as such.
NOR. Unfortunate that you can’t just ban her from your home altogether because it sounds like your husband wouldn’t support you in that. That’s wrong of him though. She’s going to be a constant PIA.
Ragebait AI. Lots of quotes, 3 sentence paragraphs, long dashes….
I feel like I’ve read this before. Deja vu?
Why do so many husbands let there mums get away with stuff like this? I’m honestly curious.
My husband hates his mum (for very valid reasons) so i technically don’t have a MIL.
Your mil is a major ass but I’m more mad at your husband! This should have been shut down the minute she said the baby might not be his. IMO you both go no contact with her immediately!!!
MIL is really working those mental gymnastics. She doesn’t believe her son is the father, meaning she is not the grandmother, and yet you are keeping her grandbaby away from her.
Which is it? Is this her son’s child with whom she wants a relationship, or is it someone else’s child she has no right to? She can’t have both.
NTA. Your husband needs to have a frank talk with his Mother.
“Mom, if you want a relationship with my son, you can not be questioning his paternity and his mother’s integrity. I do not doubt that my wife is faithful and that LO is my child. If you believe that grandson isn’t mine, then that also means you are not his grandmother and have no right to a relationship. If you want a relationship with my child, then you will never again question their paternity, nor impune my wife’s integrity by accusing her of cheating and paternity fraud.”
NTA. Grandma went full detective mode and is now shocked there are consequences. If she wanted baby snuggles, maybe she should’ve skipped the secret science experiment.
Well I think you are not being harsh enough. If I were you I wouldn’t allow MIL near my child without my presence and I wouldn’t be willing to be in the same room as her until she performs an honest apology than includes her stating that what she was trying to do is unacceptable.
Hell no you weren’t overreacting. I wouldn’t let her see LO for a while (timeout)until she sincerely apologizes for her actions. And your husband can suck it.
If that was me and my MIL did something like that, she would NEVER see my child again
Ask her are you projecting yourself on me and thinking that I cheated? She needs to stfu.
The AI em dash strikes again
Your husband is okay with his mom implying and accusing you of being a cheater. He can fuck off with “it’s too harsh.” It’s not harsh enough. She can fuck off for 3 months and she can apologize before she see’s her grandchild again. Tell your husband to grow a spine.
UpdateMe
NTA
If you really wanna be petty, tell MIL that you’ll only agree to a paternity test if she agrees to get the test done for her children as well.
I would tell MIL that if she wants you to do a DNA test fine, but that if it comes back that her son is the father, then you are going no contact with her and you WILL be keeping her grand baby from her.
My snarky response would be “why do you want to be with him if you don’t believe he’s your grandson, you don’t need to be around him at all”.
For me, this would be one of the only things (obviously short of harm) that would make me keep my child away from a grandparent!
no more mil visits- you can’t trust her. explain to family your reasons. what else might she do?
You’re the AH for posting this fake nonsense.
I won’t even tell you where you screwed up, but it’s glaring.
Again, YTA
Prove MIL wrong under the condition when it’s proved that she’s the grandmother that she has no contact with her grandchild
This MIL is out to lunch and needs to be stopped. If your husband won’t step up to put a boundary up with his mother, then what other ways will he not have your back going forward? MIL is out of line by a long shot here. Besides, what is the fuss about if she’s not certain your son is her grandson?
Who is bringing the drama? MIL.
This is an exact copy of one I saw not long ago
What is in the water now a days that MILs are requesting this of their daughters in law?!? I am thanking god for my MIL lol
Nta I would scorch the earth if it had been me
This feels like I’ve read it before. How many insane MIL’s are out there?
You’re not wrong.
NTA This is an illegal act by your MIL.
I really don’t like your husband’s reaction time. He should have shut her down long before your child came in to the world. Everyone saying your over reacting is either just tired of hearing her complaining. Or they only heard what she said happened.
Your NTA. You are not keeping your child from her. You have set a boundary in she is not allowed time alone with an infant who can’t tell you if Grandma has done something not ok.
Your mil has been out of bounds for way too long already. Stick to your boundaries. And really, your husband needs to step the F up.
Typical ignorant behavior that turns into victimization once she’s called out on her despicable plans. She basically called you a liar and an adulterer and decided it was her right to find proof of something you’re completely innocent of. What does she expect? A parade? Your husband is the worse offender in my opinion. He’s diminishing what his mother did as being an “excited grandma” when her actions are the complete opposite. You are being completely disrespected and accused of serious deception, all because she liked the last woman better? She is some criminal. Her accusations are serious and undermine your character and your marriage. You are not overreacting by keeping this woman away from you and your child while she has such serious doubts. And your husband needs to be behind you 100% or he can go live with his mommy. NTA. This is relationship ending behavior and I’m sorry your first months with your new child are tainted with this hateful behavior. You have a lot of thinking to do about your future. This can’t continue and you’re not in the wrong.
Since mil doesn’t think it’s her son’s baby then she should not be upset, after all she is insinuating that your an adulterer and the baby is not his so no harm in keeping her away and that is exactly how I would tell it to her face. NTA
That’s not an excited grandma, that’s a woman who needs help, firm boundaries in place. Tell the family why she isn’t allowed unsupervised visits .
Don’t let her spread the lies
N. T. A.
NTA. She’s toxic.
Because they enable her.
Someone needs to shut her down and stand by it, too.
As a MIL, I say fuck no. I’m sorry this is happening to you.
Not let her be alone? I wouldn’t even let her see him at all.
Nta- JustNoMIL
Your husband is a spineless twat. And your mother-in-law is a nasty termagant who shouldn’t ever be allowed near your kid unsupervised. Who knows what vitriol she’d be whispering in your kid’s ear?
NTA. But I don’t know how you can bear to be with a man who doesn’t have your back.
NTA, you have a serious husband issue.
Just the way she talks about his ex would have me completely cutting off MIL. The DNA test takes it way over the top. She would never see me or the baby again. Your husband sucks.
Your husband should be sticking up for you. If there’s an AH here besides MIL, it’s him.
If the baby is your husbands let her do a DNA test. Then either divorce your husband or get her out of your life completely. In all reality it is your husband who needs to grow a set and shut this down.
Isn’t this a repost??? I swear I’ve seen this exact one, word for word.
I’ve read this before…
Definitely NTA. Your husband should be as angry as you. I’d be quite disappointed in his reaction if I were in your shoes.
Even if your MIL finally accepts the child is the product of her son, will she still continue to disrespect you and talk about the ‘one that got away’?
Her behaviour in general is completely disrespectful. She needs to change her attitude entirely before she deserves to be around your child period.
Now she can see with her eyes is what he said. Yea, no trust for her, that’s just crazy.
I don’t know about never letting her see her grandchild again, but she needs to earn back those privileges
What a bitch your mil is. Simultaneously crying g about”HER” grandson and si.ultaneously saying it isn’t hers? F her. I would cut her out altogether. Not just unsupervised. No contact at all. Husband is a hard too.
NTA
Is insulting to both of you.
But, hear me out. Do the test yourselves. Give MIL the surprise results and tell her to bugger off now.
If your husband doesn’t speak up to his mother about her extraordinary treatment of you and the child, well, id be concerned about that long-term.
You have married someone who doesn’t have a backbone. Your MIL will try something different next and your husband will give the same reply. You will be expected to be the better person and let it go.
Your mother in law is an idiot. Quite frankly, it sounds like your husband is too.
I’m an excited grandma, and when my granddaughters were born, I ran over with baby gifts and something for the mommies (my daughters) and did whatever I could to help out.
I would never question the paternity of “my babies” because that would be impugning my daughter’s morality.
She’s done the same to you. I would NEVER trust her after this.
Your husband needs to tell her off. It could be done very politely, but she needs to get the point.
You are NTA, but damn that MIL of yours!
Your husband is lucky you allow her around at all. She’d never get any kind of access to me or my child again.
I wouldn’t give a shit who said what about it either.
NTA
She wouldn’t get my child alone until that child is school age. Preferably middle school.
100% say
“Well she thinks the baby isn’t Hubbys so that means she thinks it’s not her grandchild. How can I be keeping her from a grandchild if she doesn’t believe it is?”
Oh no…you are actually being nice! my MIL wouldn’t be allowed supervised visits, F her
Maybe she’s projecting?? Tell your MIL that you want your husband and his father in law to do a paternity test before you allow your kid to undergo the same.
NTA
But you have a husband problem. He should have been livid that she made those comments and tried that. He should have been standing up for you. I would be letting hubby know if he doesn’t back you up and tell his mommy off. He can go be with mommy.
Updateme!
NTA. You aren’t “keeping her grandson away from her” you are still letting her see him, just not giving her any “alone time” with him. I’d point out the hypocrisy of her claims by telling her and everyone else who is siding with her “First she claimed that my child was in no way her son’s and wanted to do a paternity test. Now, that she’s been caught planning to get a sample behind our backs she suddenly switches to “They’re keeping my grandson from me!” Well MIL, which one is it? Is he your grandson or did I cheat on your son? I don’t trust you enough to leave you alone with my son even if you now claim that he’s DH’s because you could only be making that claim to get access to him so you can get a DNA sample. You broke my trust, now you have to earn it back.”
No DNA test is going to use a bottle. She’s batshit.
Your husband can take the baby to her, but I’d be out after something this dumb and hurtful.
And for sure don’t leave him alone with her. “I’m afraid you’ll hurt him, especially since you apparently you don’t believe he’s your family.”
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
The other thing I might do is drag her to an actual DNA lab and make her watch them take the samples from your husband and child. Take pictures. Post it on social media and tag her. “Since Linda has questions, we’re answering them today.” Put this shit on BLAST
I am a very, petty bitch.
She’s just excited to be a grandma? Umm, no. She’s trying to prove she’s not the grandma.
NTA. If she’s this bad now, wait until the child is old enough to understand the words that come out of her mouth. I don’t even want to imagine the things she could decide to say, once the baby becomes old enough to use language.
MIL deserves to have only supervised time with her grandchild until she has demonstrated that she has turned over a new leaf and rejoined the ranks of sane people. And frankly, there is a part of me that would have been angry and hurt enough to not even want her around the baby at all for a while. I think (but don’t know) that I would be able to overcome the “you’re not even welcome in the same room with the baby” anger reaction, but there is no need for her to ever be alone with the baby, or anything with the baby’s DNA on it.
Part of me says, “Do the freakin’ test yourself and wave it in her face that the child is her son’s baby”, if that’s what it will take to shut her up. But she should be the one to foot the bill for the testing, since she is the one who’s obsessing over it. Why should you pay money for a test you don’t need, just because your MIL is irrational?
One of the big DNA testing companies just went bankrupt. It’s not clear what will happen to all of the data they collected.
Regardless of your relationship with MIL, her actions would compromise your baby’s privacy. Putting someone else’s genetic material in the public sphere without that person’s consent (or the consent of the parents) is irresponsible.
You’ve got two problems here: a MIL problem and a husband problem.
Where’s FIL? He should be like WTF are you doing?
NTA and shout out to your SIL 💖 your husband though…
Let her take the DNA test with a written agreement that if the child is her grandson, she must immediately deposit $50,000 in a college account under your control for the grandson’s benefit.
Nta
Someone who accuses me of being a lying, cheating, garden tool is not going to see my baby any time soon. And definitely not without a remorseful apology. Let the naysayers rumble on. You’ve had to live with her accusations. She can live with her consequences.
Do the DNA test but do not share the results with anyone. Including your husband. And then if he asks for you to do it. Give him the results when you kick him out.
NTA. What the actual F?!? I’d be telling her “why are you so upset b/c you’re not even sure he’s your sons child” and I’d say that on social media and spill all the tea when she bitches on FB and you know she will.
An excited grandmother doesn’t accuse her DIL of sleeping around; that’s the only way the baby is someone else’s.
NTA. You have to protect your baby at all costs, bc this woman is unhinged. The minute she started with the DNA business, she lost all rights and credibility. Block the awful relatives who are not taking this seriously and tell your husband to get on board with your concerns. This isn’t a simple difference of parenting philosophies, it is an invasion of privacy bc she isn’t happy with you as a DIL.
How excited is she that instead of believing the baby was her grandchild she went behind the parents back to get a DNA test down. That’s not a loving grandmother that’s a disappointed parent whose son didn’t marry her favorite girlfriend of his.
NTA
put your foot down with her now.
NTA, I thought she said he wasn’t her grandkid. She can’t have it both ways.
This is a wild choice but tell
Her , you can do the test but if comes back
As my husbands child ( use if to
Play along ) then we will
Have a lawyer do a contract where you will
Never see the child again and will
Never contact us
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tell her you’ll do a DNA test but if the baby is her sons, she can never see the baby again.
NTA. Your husband is the biggest problem. He should have shut her bs down the first time she said it. He should have told his Mom that you aren’t a cheater. He is letting this fact slide. He is letting his mom tell people she thinks you’re a whore.
This sounds like it illegal to me- I mean taking the baby’s DNA. Ugh. I wouldn’t let her near me. Husband can visit on his own. And visit after holidays. No apology, no access.
SIL deserves a ton of praise here but I’m worried your husband isn’t taking this serious “because the baby looks like him now”
Wtaf? Does he know tons of babies don’t look like anyone for a long time?
Geez, another AI post..
I definitely already read this story, better refresh ChatGPT.
I swear this exact story was posted a month ago
NTA. But you also have a husband problem. He needs to be the one shutting her down. He needs to be the one to enforce boundaries. Things will never get better until he decides what’s more important, giving in to his mom or protecting his partner and child.
NTA if your husband says your overreacting tell him to go take dna samples from he‘s father to confirm it is he‘s father see if he likes it? Its accusation that you cheated. How messed up is that
What? And what?, wtf? Now is the chance to out your MIL. Since she’s lying to everyone, clear it up for her. Any one that says you’re being too hard on her, tell them what she did. Definitely no unsupervised visits for her. This is how stupid shit gets out of hand. When you were dating your husband and she was making those snarky remarks and being passive aggressive, why didn’t your husband put his foot down. She’s gone from that to DNA Karen trying to destabilize your home. Your husband needs to deal with her and you distance yourself from her. Your MIL is definitely the major AH here.
So excited that she doesn’t believe that’s her son’s child?! Yea ok. NTA.
I’m 110% confident MIL is neglecting to tell her flying monkeys about her attempts to DNA your child. They’re only hearing about being denied visitation.
Tell EVERYONE that MIL is accusing you of being unfaithful, AND of lying about paternity by trying to sneak a DNA test. So this “excited to be a grandma” stance is utter bullshit, as MIL doesn’t believe the baby is actually her son’s child.
i would literally report it to a police department or something. That’s completely insane
NTA. But your MIL is absolutely IRRELEVANT. Look at your husband, because it seems like he’s putting her before you. Your MIL is calling you a WHORE who may not even have had her sons child, and he’s reluctant to deny her access to his child?! What the fuck! Marriage, a HEALTHY marriage, means your spouse and kids are your FIRST family, your parents and siblings come second! Your husband is FAILING at your marriage.
Too harsh? If it was my mil, she would be cut out of my life and kids’ lives completely.
Or you can just provide her with your son’s DNA so she can just shut up about it. So why did your now husband get a divorce from the “ever so perfect ex wife” of his?
She clearly thinks it isn’t her grandchild. Just tell her, she claims the child isn’t her some, so she doesn’t need any visitation. Strangers do t have a reason to see children
Didn’t we just read this a week or 2 ago
That’s not “excited grandma” behavior. That’s someone who’s trying to split up your family behavior.
NTA He is lucky you don’t forbid her from seeing your LO
Make sure everyone she’s crying to knows exactly what she did. She needs more people shaming her. I would have gone no contact for a while, if she’s not sure he’s her grandson, should be no big deal. Also a public apology and a couple of sessions with a therapist to hammer home how wrong she was
excited grandmas don’t act like this and I wonder if unknowingly stealing someone’s DNA is an actual crime? It probably depends on local laws.
Also, your husband is going to have to firmly stand up to his mother and tell her to knock all of this shit off or there will be serious and long term consequences.
NTA and I even think you’re being very nice about I! You’re still letting her see the baby, just not be alone with him! Many people would go no contact over shit like this.
“Just an excited grandma” might sometimes need to be told not to visit every day or something like that.
Which is perfectly understandable and needs to be respected but you know, I can see how being overly excited leads to that.
“Just an excited grandma” doesn’t steal from you and tries to secretly DNA test your baby because of her weird obsession with her son’s ex.