I need my village

r/

I am very introverted, and I don’t have a lot of friends…most of my high school friends are now out of town, and I went to university abroad and work from home… how to have meaningful friendships in my 30s

Comments

  1. MyNextVacation Avatar

    My advice is to get out and meet people regularly. If someone seems nice, ask if she’d like to exchange contact info and meet for lunch, coffee, a drink or an activity you both enjoy.

    I meet people at yoga, walks in the neighborhood, professional events, wine tastings.

  2. Different-Cut-6992 Avatar

    It’s going to take lots of effort and work, to me it’s a lot like dating. Y’all have to put yourself out there more which means putting yourself in situations you’re not use to being in, you’ll be forced to get out of your comfort zone (speaking as an introvert myself).Join clubs, organizations or attend events that are related to your hobbies and interest. Remember, meaningful relationships take time and effort to develop.

  3. Sendrubbytums Avatar

    To have a village, try to be a villager

  4. ShadowValent Avatar

    Volunteer. The absolute easiest way to find new friends. Healthy minded people with social skills.

  5. AllisonWhoDat Avatar

    It’s not easy, especially when you’re shy/introverted. Try socializing with work peers. Ask a supervisor in a higher management position, in a different part of your company, to be your Mentor. Pursue relationships in your area of
    Career interests.

    Meet Up in your area for things you’re interested in. I met one of my dearest friends at a wine education course. I also volunteer at things that are meaningful to me, like maintaining our city’s Rose Garden.

    What interests you? Fan Fiction? Literature? Harry Potter? Animal Rescue? Spend time doing those things and you’ll meet like minded people.

  6. plushieshoyru Avatar

    Try Bumble! I met several really cool friends on there. 🙂

  7. ShinyHappyPurple Avatar

    I don’t have any easy answers beyond looking for stuff on Meetup near where you live and going to events but I sympathise OP. My remaining friends all have children so we get dinner every so often but I wouldn’t phone any of them up on the evenings to talk any more and doing anything spontaneously/semi-spontaneously is out of the question.

  8. littlebunsenburner Avatar

    It’s hard to make deep friendships in your 30’s, but not impossible.

    An improv class helped me with introversion and social anxiety.

    Other ideas: joining Bumble BFF, looking for adult leagues that center around exercise or outdoor activity, volunteering for a cause that you are passionate about, joining a group that meets regularly to discuss books, play chess, knit beanies by hand, or [insert hobby here.]

    It’s hard but it can be done!

  9. Signal-Difference-13 Avatar

    You also have to put effort in with friends, being introverted doesn’t really slide. I’ve struggled with this as being someone who tries to always hold a friendship, some I just had to let go because the other person gives nothing backs and it’s exhausting.