Hi all! I’m just looking some advice as I’m feeling pretty lost right now. I’m 22 year old female and I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for 4 years but things aren’t going well!
He’s not very nice to me at all and certainly takes me for granted and I just can’t really take it anymore, there’s plenty of really horrible demeaning things he’s done but that’s neither here nor there.
I think I want to break things off I haven’t been happy for a long time. I’m 22 and I’m nervous that I won’t find anyone else. I feel too old even though I obviously am young. I’m not unattractive and I’m doing a good degree but I’m just afraid. I know I need to be brave but it’s so difficult. I have no single friends so that makes it even more difficult.
I’m really struggling and desperate for advice, I don’t think I can stay with him but I also don’t know how to meet new people or what to do when we do break up or how to navigate it.
Anyone been in a situation like this or just have some good life advice? It would be much appreciated!!
Comments
Do you live together? Either way, you’re a 22 year old woman. That’s like 6% of your adult life shared with this person and it doesn’t sound like staying is an option. Just be single for a little while, I wouldn’t immediately try to move on without some reflection on this relationship.
Be brave —and take that step to be happy. You can do it.
I’ve recently been in this situation and it seems like you have already made your mind up (as I had). From what you’ve said it’s obvious you’re not happy in the relationship after all the things you have stated. No one should be demeaning anyone and especially not in a relationship no matter how long that’s been. You’ve said you aren’t happy and if you don’t see things changing then there’s only 1 thing to do really no matter how had it will be.
You’re young and will absolutely meet someone else, 100% so don’t be worrying about that. You can’t stay with someone you’re not happy with for thinking you won’t meet someone else. My advice would be to prioritise yourself and do what is going to make you happier in the long run. If you do decided to break up then just be prepared for a shitty few days and weeks ahead emotionally but things will get better. Don’t worry about meeting someone else just focus on getting yourself right you’ve got plenty of time to meet someone new who will be more compatible and give you everything you want in a relationship.
Good luck OP and do what is right for you
You deserve someone who is nice to you and you deserve to be in a relationship that does make you happy, and even if you don’t believe it now, someone who matches with you and makes you happy is out there, someone that doesn’t take you for granted. I left my ex boyfriend for similar reasons when i was about 21 and it was one of the hardest things i did but i am incredibly happy i made that decision, because not only i found my current bf that is the sweetest person i’ve met, i also learned to rely on myself fully 🙂 Also you’re only 22 and that’s not old at all to find someone else! Or in general. I wont try to push you, and breaking up with someone is so difficult, but it gets better after.
You’ve already realized that you’re not happy with your partner and have decided to end the relationship, which is an important step. Have you ever heard of “suffering in advance”? That’s what you’re going through right now, trying to stay in your current relationship out of fear of something you don’t even know will actually happen. Right now, don’t think about ending your relationship and jumping into another one. Focus on healing your soul, take some time to get to know yourself better, understand things, and maybe even become a better version of yourself. It’s not the end of the world, and your life isn’t lost. You will find someone better, you just need to be patient and focus on healing yourself first.
I left my boyfriend of 10 years when I was 26 (I’m 31 now)
We got together when I was 17, broke up when I was 26. I grew up and he didn’t, I want a house, a stable life, he just wanted to party. I still left, and I found myself!
I found perfect friends group who I love more than anything, I found happiness. I’m 3 years into a relationship with my new partner and he’s my perfect match.
You’re so so so young, you don’t even know it yet. Leave him, cry all the tears. Then go on some dates without getting serious with any of them!
Men will come into your life, make you fall for them and some will be lying, some won’t be a match, some won’t be good enough, then you’ll find the one. But you have to find you first.
You don’t realize it yet but you’ve spent all your adult life in a relationship with one person and that means you have no experience living as an adult, as yourself.
You will not regret this I promise you
Look forward to some “me” time .. do things U want to do when u want to do them – friend , family and interests you may have. Enjoy discovering yourself and being able independent for a time – trust me – a future boyfriend will come.