How do you deal with men who think feminism is bad and women just want to hate on men?

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How do you deal with men who think feminism is bad and women just want to hate on men?

Comments

  1. msstark Avatar

    I… don’t. I choose not to interact with those men, as nothing good will come of it.

    If I’m forced to, like at work, I avoid the subject and keep it strictly professional.

  2. lapetitecantate Avatar

    I don’t. I only talk to men who treat me with respect.

  3. Appropriate_Tea9048 Avatar

    I steer clear of those types. They aren’t the types of people I want anything to do with.

  4. mslabrat01 Avatar

    If he seems receptive I’ll just explain feminism isn’t about hating men. Rather it’s about everyone being treated equally. Most of the time he won’t be reasonable. At that point, I just remind myself that it’s a “him” problem and try to have as little to do with him as possible.

  5. ThrowRAboredinAZ77 Avatar

    I don’t waste my time on them.

  6. noonecaresat805 Avatar

    You can’t fix or reason with stupid, drunks, racist or sexist. I don’t waste my breath on them.

  7. blackberry-slushie Avatar

    I don’t entertain them, I used to try to argue with them but men like that aren’t looking for a discussion

  8. celestialism Avatar

    I avoid them when it’s possible to do so, and ignore them when it’s not. They’re not worth spending time thinking about, let alone interacting with.

  9. WoahThatsCrazy04 Avatar

    Those kinds of people most of the time will refuse to hear other opinions, so there’s no point in trying to argue with them. Don’t waste your breath, they’re not worth it.

  10. tinfoilhattie Avatar

    I choose not to interact with people like that beyond what is absolutely required. They’re already telling me all I need to know about them and their worldview. It’s like racists or homophobes or whatever people who hold hateful generalized and stereotypical beliefs about other people out of their own prejudices. They are not people I’m willing to invite into my life, so they aren’t welcome there.

  11. throwaway_hotgirl Avatar

    I dont mind them as long as their not misogynists

  12. miss_rabbit143 Avatar

    I tried to have lot of meaningful conversation with such men in my early 20s. That was way before manosphere podcasters became a thing. It was still futile, and almost impossible to make them see reason. Now, I really couldn’t care less, I’ll just walk out if I see any man trying to mansplain feminism to me.

  13. starryling04 Avatar

    It depends on how close they are to me—if they are someone I consider a close friend or family member, I genuinely cannot help but argue and try to get them to change their point of view. I feel this gut punch of anger and betrayal and frustration.

    With strangers, I try not to argue—no good will come out of it, especially since I know they will not listen and it’ll just waste my time and energy. But, I can’t stay silent either, and I like to make my stance clear, just so they know—it’s like a ‘don’t be a bystander’ thought in my mind.

  14. South_Hedgehog_7564 Avatar

    Make friends with their wives, daughters and sisters, coax them around to your way of thinking. That’ll really piss them off.

  15. Altruistic-Box-3778 Avatar

    Same as most women here, I don’t engage with them as much as I can!

  16. whatevernamedontcare Avatar

    Life is too short to waste it on assholes

  17. SignalSelection3310 Avatar

    Honestly, the term “feminism” is quite infected. At its purest form, I think anyone would agree that we want equality. But I think that “second wave” “third wave” feminism (or what ever it’s called) has sort of ruined the original expression. Especially since it has been grouped up with LGBTQ+ issues, and probably foremost transpeople issues.

    I have a hard time seeing most men opposing equality, but it’s easy to se how “radical feminism” (as the internet calls it) can discourage from wanting to promote feminism.

    And considering the average man’s filter bubble, it’s easy to see how radical feminism would create more traction and drive traffic (to further feed the algorithm).

    Ask any man if they are against equality and I’m sure none says no. Ask them if they are against equality of outcome and I’m sure that they’ll say yes. Ask them if they support feminism, and I’d think a lot of men interpret that as radical feminism and equality of outcome.

    So, it’s a whole lot of semantics involved in this discussion. Because the average male algorithm interprets the word feminism completely different than you, I’m sure.

  18. gangofone978 Avatar

    I literally don’t. Time, energy, and patience are finite resources.

  19. EvaAmel1a Avatar

    Honestly? I don’t deal with them.
    If a guy hears “feminism” and immediately thinks it’s “man hate,” he’s telling on himself.
    Not my job to teach grown men basic respect.
    I just leave them on read and move on — plenty of guys out there who actually get it.

  20. Relevant_Potato_1335 Avatar

    I don’t. I move on from them.

    Whether it’s family , friends , partner.

    🤷‍♀️

  21. CompetitiveRub9780 Avatar

    They don’t understand the definition. Feminist are just people that think we all deserve the same. If they understand that definition, and aren’t feminists themselves, then they actually think they’re better than women.

  22. Random_Girl_0 Avatar

    I understand because there are a lot of women who call themselves feminists who do hate on men

  23. Polybrene Avatar

    By ignoring them.

  24. Unhappy_Performer538 Avatar

    I avoid them at all costs. 

  25. CovraChicken Avatar

    Smile and nod boys, smile and nod.

    No but honestly, it’s not worth it. They won’t listen to any argument you might make, they’ll just try to find a way to twist your words into a way that may ever so slightly align with their POV.

  26. Chaucers_Mistress Avatar

    I ignore those men.

  27. 143019 Avatar

    I don’t. Never waste your breath on people committed to misunderstanding you.

  28. Semi-Passable-Hyena Avatar

    I have to openly mock these men. I’m a straight white dude, and I work in a privileged part of town. Many men I meet and work with like to talk to me as if I have love Donald Trump, as if I’m cool to make fun of anything effeminate or gay, and as if women are such a fucking problem and a huge drag.

    I have to talk to young men that sound like seventy year old dudes talking about women.

    I make jokes. I openly talk about how hard it must be to get laid when everybody you’re trying to fuck is so fucking problematic and emotional all the time. I call THEM out on being emotional over shit, after they’d just lamented about how emotional women always are.

    Women deal with too much bullshit for any of us to stay quiet when we witness it.

    EDIT: FUCK this is Ask Women.

    I’m sorry everybody. I thought this was just a regular co-ed Ask thread. My bad.

  29. deskbeetle Avatar

    I try to determine if they are open at all to any dialog. If they are, I will try to pivot on how feminism has and could continue to benefit men. 

    If they aren’t open, I usually don’t bother engaging at all. 

  30. BillieDoc-Holiday Avatar

    If I can’t avoid, I am all business. Stiff politeness is all they get. No smiles, no warmth, no more than small talk.