I’ve been very split between two ways of thinking and I guess just wanted to vent and share my thoughts.
Recently I’ve been entertaining the idea of getting lip filler and part of me is like okay if I want to balance my features out a little why shouldn’t I. But then, the other part is screaming at me saying I should just accept myself as is.
We’re constantly bombarded with how we’re meant to look and how we can be prettier yadayadayada so it’s hard to determine what’s something I want for myself vs what’s something I want because I’m being told that’s the way I need to be. And I won’t argue thinking about getting filler has nothing to do with wanting to fulfill some kind of beauty standard but so what! Is it that big of a deal? Maybe it is.
Now this thought process has started to leak into things like buying clothes or going to the salon to get highlights. Who am I trying to appease? Do I really need this? But also isn’t feeling good about myself and confident a worthy investment? Why can’t I feel good and confident with the way i already am instead?
Comments
I dont have an argument for your inner turmoil, but i do think that 9 out of ten women, who consider filler, should consider lip blushing first.
A skilled permament makeup artist can make your lips look more plump without having to inject any migrating fillers. Sometimes it just needs a little bit of overlining and some shadow placement 🙂
Will it, though? Will it just ‘balance out your features’ and then you’ll look perfect and you’ll be done? Because if you just want a teensy bit of filler for balance, that’s all, swear to god, nothing more, you’re not chasing a dream–well frankly it’s your own body, do what you want. But I haven’t met a person yet who’s gotten “just one injection” and was happy for the rest of their life.
Also fillers don’t dissolve on their own, they stay in your body permanently, they just… dissipate and float off to a new location.
I can only answer this for myself and not in the general sense. I do a lot of beauty services, I’ve tried pretty much everything non-invasive but haven’t done any fillers or any surgery. But I’ve considered similar to what you’re asking – am I doing it for myself or for society?
For me, it comes down to the answer to your last question. I do feel like enough without any of it. I don’t need these things. I was sick a lot over the past 2 years as I was awaiting surgery, there were large chunks of time during that I was not taking care of my physical self or doing my beauty appointments like I usually do. I never felt less than. I still felt valid in all situations I was part of. I always knew my worth wasn’t tied to my looks, but this just reinforced it.
So now I can more confidently say getting lash extensions, my hair dyed, nails, etc. is for me, and not for whoever else.
The lip thing was something I could relate to though. I have a non-existent upper lip. My older sister has been quite mean about it over the years and in our early 20s she would relentlessly ask me why I wouldn’t get fillers. I never felt the need to. I never felt different about myself or my lips due to her comments.
My honest thoughts are that someone that concerned with my lips, that they’d comment on them, treat me differently or judge them is quite a pathetic person. Them outing themselves is a good thing so I can respond accordingly, and no loss in my life.
My wife once voiced dissatisfaction with her lips when she was feeling that they were too thin. I just kissed her, and reassured her that they were perfect. I don’t know if she ever felt that way again but it’s been a couple of dozen years since that time and has not come up since.
I hope that you find your own path to contentment and confidence.
I think people should do what makes them happy.
I’m in my 40’s and don’t have any work done, but I am also hypersensitive, and I like the way my face looks. So I don’t want to risk anything.
It gets weird when people can’t move or express things with their face. And I feel bad for those people.
I also don’t like the dynamic when someone is super filled and Botoxed and then pretends they aren’t. So we are pretending that you look better than me by adhering to social standards and that you’re doing it naturally, but you also can’t emote enough to make micro expressions to empathize with others, so we are all engaged in this dance of pretending.