Throw away because no one must ever know. I was in college suffering from food poisoning in my freshman year. After tossing and turning for hours, struggling with cold sweats and stomach cramps I finally fell asleep. Suddenly at about 4AM I woke up with the instant need to go. That night my boyfriend was over so I decided to just sleep in my underwear since my roommate was not in the room that night. I was against the wall on those god forsaken twin beds and threw myself over him. Before I could find where I had thrown my shirt it was already too late. I could feel it coming out and there was nothing stopping it. I decided to make a bee line to the bathroom, fortunately I was right next to the public shared rest room. I ran into the big handicap stall to give me as much room as possible. I sat on the toilet and before I could react I threw up all over my already soiled underwear, the floor, and myself. By the time it all subsided I started panicking. I was now in the public restroom, covered in vomit and diarrhea, completely naked. After listening for anyone in the hallway, I made a mad dash over to the showers. I cleaned myself off as fast as humanly possible, listened for anyone again, peaked out into the hallway and upon seeing the coast was clear sprinted to my dorm room. I practically slammed the door shut and flicked on the lights. My boyfriend then sprung to life just to see his drowned rat of a partner, shaking like a leaf, sobbing. He asked what happened and I broke down. He helped me dry off and made sure I was ok before he let me leave, fully dressed this time, to go clean up the floor (I’m not a monster). While cleaning I buried my underwear at the bottom of the industrial trash can and cleaned up the rest of the mess. After being utterly traumatized we decided to have me sleep on the edge fully clothed just in case.
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That sucks. Might not be something everyone does, but that kind of thing definitely happens. Especially with food poisoning involved.
I know i shouldn’t laugh at others misfortune but this story is hilarious. I’m pissing myself here.
Thank you so much for sharing
This story is perfect for Armchair anonymous!
Shit happens. Good story though.
Our communal bathrooms in college had cleaning crew in hazmats like once a month to clean up peoples’ vomit and shit that didn’t make it to the toilet; honestly just impressed you went back and took care of it yourself 😅
It’s just not the real college experience if the cafeteria food doesn’t make you sick at least once.
I was once in walmart, stopped.to have a mic Donald’s salsa chicken wrap. 10 minutes later, I was grocery shopping, and I felt a gurgle in my stomach… and I knew I had about ten seconds to make it to the bathroom before I shat myself. I didn’t make it. I diareahed myself in my pants right then and there. I ran ruhrnfornthe bathroom. My jeans and my ny underwear were ruined. A walmart worker brought me jeans and underwear and baby wipes. I didn’t think she even made me pay for any of it. She was so so kind. In the meantime, if her getting that and me crying from embarrassment, every woman in that wapmart bathroom was almost puking from the smell and saying how awful it was.
That woman was my guardian angel that day.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. There are lots of people with similar stories. People with IBS or Crohn’s, people with flu, elders who have incontinence issues, etc. all have embarrassing stories to tell. It sounds your boyfriend was a dear. I hope you never get that sick again, kiddo. Hugs.
this is the college experience. i remember one my poor friends accidentally got locked out her dorm room with no underwear on
it was dumb but she was going to the bathroom at 3am in a very oversized sweaterfreshman year dorms was a trip
It happens.
Man don’t sweat it. If you’ve ever been really sick or even elderly it happens. It happened to me when i was sick on meds. It happened to my stepdad at an out of town gas station. He shit on himself and cloths also the bathroom. He apologized as soon as he got back in the truck we had to drive 30 mi with that smell. IT HAPPENS
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Lol you took care of everything and nothing else happened. I don’t see the issue. People get sick, it’s a thing.
My husband and I have both shit our pants in our adult lives. I’m actually super impressed and thankful that you made the dash and got to shower that off lol. Much better to be caught naked in the hallway, than naked in the hallway with shit and puke all over you🤣
Welcome to college.
That sucks that happened to you. You’re boyfriend is a good man for not getting really grossed out by that
Sorry you had to experience.
Did something similar coming out from the other end. It’s hard cleaning up with motion activated faucets.
In college I had my first fwb over. Randomly at 3AM I woke up with an ungodly amount of stomach pain. Out of fear of being too loud, I decided to make the journey downstairs to the outdoor public restroom.
Never in my life have I been in so much stomach pain that I was losing consciousness. I made a promise to myself that if I could just stay awake I would let myself go in the bushes.
I managed to make it to the downstairs bathroom and proceeded to explode into the toilet (I cleaned up afterwards).
After the explosion I could see clearly again. Granted I was quiet coming in and out of the apartment, but the guy never woke up and he was never the wiser.
I know you made a throw away account to protect yourself but I feel like any normal person wouldn’t make fun of you for this. Unless you meant people you know in real life. Regardless that sucks a lot :((
Funny coinikidink – I was at work last night & I was feeling… not great… I thought maybe I didn’t get enough sleep, just so weak & sweaty. It hits about 1am & out of nowhere I was like “I’m about to shit my pants” & straight up ran to the guest bathroom. There was luckily a trash can in front of me so I didn’t puke on the floor & I don’t know how, but I didn’t shit my britches either – it all went away in the toilet lmao.
I feel like a million times better today, so the only thing I can even think of is food poisoning as I did eat a very questionable pork wonton around 4-5pm that day.
It was so awful & I kept telling myself that I wasn’t going to tell any of my coworkers because ew, but my dumbass gets to work late today & the first thing I say is “weird, think I got food poisoning last night, I ended up puking (did not say anything about diarrheaing) but I feel much better today so I don’t think I was actually sick – sorry in advance if I get you sick”. 🤦🏼♀️
I have anxiety & my coworker was taking forever to get out of my chair & tbh I was still not feeling like a million bucks so I really just wanted to sit down & that’s what my stupid brain came up w/.
God I’m disgusting – this made me feel so much less alone though.
Godspeed & your bf sounds like a champ.
I was feeling something coming on one Thanksgiving, there was a bug going around work that I hadn’t had yet. I tried to bow gracefully out of dinner, but my wife insisted I carve the turkey. As the familiar smells of our turkey dinner wafted through the house, all the kids came home and we had a nice sit down dinner. I ate a little, but had no appetite.
Later that evening my stomach was in knots and trouble was brewing down south. I proactively sat on the throne knowing what was coming and my bowels did not disappoint. Upon the scent beginning to permeate upwards from the toilet bowl, I realized it still smelled very much like turkey and gravy, maybe a hint of cranberry.
The thought that my supper still smelled like supper after passing through my body, was too much for me to bear mentally, and it triggered a reaction at the other end. I violently projectile vomited, luckily the bathtub was immediately to my left, and I was able to train the majority of the vomit into the tub.
I noted it also still resembled a turkey dinner, which only re-doubled the horror of it. Both ends were on full ejection mode now, and after about 30 seconds, I believe that I was totally bereft of anything resembling Thanksgiving. Fortunately we have a bidet, so I was able to wash one end of things very thoroughly. I moistened some toilet paper to wipe my mouth. Then I slithered down to the bathroom floor, covered myself with a towel and that fluffy rug that I’ve always hated and slept soundly till morning, where my wife found me.
This happened to me at dorms in Texas State, I had heat stroke apparently. Puked and pooped on myself just as I made it in the stall, but for an added bonus I forgot my key and locked myself out of the dorm. Shirt was salvageable, but shorts/socks were a loss. So I showed up to my neighbors dorm (God bless the gays for kindness and discretion) and borrowed some very small tight shorts and slept on the extra bed in his dorm sick and shaking until the morning when I could get an extra key.
Also pooped myself pretty bad on mushrooms earlier this year, im 40. I’ll be young forever.
i hope this situation never find me
Shit happens ! Think you handled it pretty well tbh
Cool story bro
This was my worst fear in college. I specifically chose a school that put us in furnished apartment because having to run down a public hallway to use the bathroom was a horrifying thought
If it makes you feel any better, I woke up one morning, made myself a coffee, grabbed my cigarettes, started unlocking my back door to go outside, and shit myself with absolutely no warning at all
I stood there for what felt like 20 years, shit running down my legs, and then went to the shower and dissociated for an hour
This happend to me once after a Christmas meal with my mates a few years ago…
Went to bed fine, then woke up at 3-4 AM needing a shit super bad. Got to the toilet just in time and shit my brains out, then I suddenly felt super sick while shitting.
I had to make the decision whether I want to potentially clean up shit or puke because I couldn’t stop either bodily function happening. I chose to stay sat on the toilet and puke down myself and then have to shovel the puke in-between my legs into the toilet with my hands.
Once I was done shitting and puking I had to get in the shower to wash the shit off my ass and get the puke out of my pubes lol.
Granted this was not in a public restroom at the time but I was naked and did live with my brother at the time so it still would have been embarrassing.
based asf
You had a full-blown food poisoning nightmare threw up and pooped yourself, naked, in a college public restroom at 4AM. You freaked out, ran to the showers, then to your dorm covered in mud and shivering. Your boyfriend assisted you in recovering, and you stoically cleaned up the whole mess after. Embarrassing? Sure thing. But kind of heroic too.
I got food poisoning last summer and actually passed out several times, like fully went unconscious and my family members had paralysis (which we didn’t even know was possible)
Well, it’s not unusual. Food poisoning will do that to people.
I’m glad you weren’t sick enough to go to hospital.
I’m guessing a lot of people have stories of gastric accidents.
I have had food poisoning where I had to sit in the toilet with a bucket because I couldn’t pick one, poop or vomit.
Your boyfriend is a keeper for helping you.
You probably don’t know it, but you probably got drugged with a combination of things. Whenever you see those pics or videos of girls at a club all dressed up in diarrhea—the person taking the pictures put something in their drink…..
I once shit myself in the parking lot of a comic shop my bf at the time was in bc I thought I had to fart, it was not a fart. I made a mad dash into the shop and barely even asked permission, I just said “can I use your bathroom?” Didn’t wait for an answer, ran in there, had to also bury my underwear in the bottom of the trash. It was a comic shop like I said so mainly men and surprise there was no toilet paper. Paper towels were my only saving grace.
As mortifying as it was in the moment, I don’t think you have anything to be ashamed of. All humans get sick. Whenever I feel embarrassed or awkward about bodily functions, I think to myself “Beyonce has had terrible diarrhea and vomiting. She has puked. She sometimes has nasty farts.” (Substitute whatever person strikes you has glamorous and having everything together.) It’s dumb, but it helps me remember that this is a normal part of our existence.
bad but not as bad as the person on starwars who shat themselves in a storm tropper costume infront of everyone.
Happens. Anyone that knows life and human beings won’t judge, as it’s happened to them or will.
Drank too much in the Army, restroom all the way down the squad bay about 100 feet. Woke up drunk and stomach churning, head to the restroom with purpose, got worse so started jogging…. projectile vomit in front of me, slid and landed on my ass sliding into the wall at the end and put both feet through the drywall.
Woke everyone up, lots of laughing and getting hazed. Half assed cleaned up what I could and went back to sleep. Woke up hungover and my platoon had cleaned up the mess, including the drywall on the floor, with big sign over the holes with my name.
Had to help construction fix It, but most people aren’t assholes and there’ll rib you for it but still understand.
After that fiasco they kept buying me soda when we went out just to keep rubbing it in.
Oh no!! While I feel your pain I couldn’t help but giggle at your story. I had the worst food poisoning a few years back, and I did it opposite of you (I shat myself while bent over puking in toilet), I also happened to be in my own private bathroom, thank god! But I called my mom crying bcz I was so sick I couldn’t figure out how to go about cleaning myself and my mess up 🥴
You poor thing! Stuff happens, and you cleaned it up. I’m just sorry you were so sick.
Welcome to the club of embarrassing moments that shall only be relived upon our deaths
This happened to me a few times and thankfully I was home at those times. And one time I fortunately had a sink directly next to the terlet so I could do both disgusting acts at the same time for full efficiency.
Edit to add: I’m so sorry that was your experience OP and I think it shows a lot about who you are that you made sure to go clean up your mess. And it sounds like your partner was a true one as well. On that note: I hope you never have another experience like that again, rough night for sure.
Poor girl, it happens… no need to feel embarrassed! If you can survive this you can survive anything, besides you have a great story to tell your kids someday when they have moments of wanting to crawl under a rock, I do have a few embarrassing stories lol
That happened to me in a Macy’s bathroom. Puked all over my undies and clothes. Lucky my husband was in the store and purchased new cloths for me. That was not a good experience , lol.
A few years back I was having a rough night. Woke up in the middle of the night feeling like death – period cramps, stomach bug, and migraine all at once. Unfortunately my meds didn’t help and I ended up having diarrhea and vomiting in the bathtub.
And even though I was an adult when this happened, my mom woke up and told me to go back to sleep, she would clean it up. I asked her if she was sure, I was willing to do it but wasn’t sure what the best cleaning supplies would be. She said she wanted me to just get some rest.
Sometimes shit happens (pun intended). I’m guessing most people probably have had some kind of experience like this tbh.
On the bright side! Months from now during the scorching heat of summer, your soiled unmentionables could possibly be thriving with life. Maybe the soiled unmentionables final form is mushrooms that produce a vast number of mycelium colonies. You’d be immortalized in a cute kinda way. Like, aweeee, she created life lmao 🤣
I once got given the wrong order of coffee and it contained something i am extremely sensitive to in it. Maybe 20 seconds notice. My legs have never moved so fast in a crowded grocery store
I’ve been black out drunk in college days and pooped all over and was found naked. Definitely a low that you get over.
Shitting your pants as an adult is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Absolutely dehumanizing.