I (29M) honestly don’t know why I’m thinking about this today, but it’s been eating at me for years.
When I was about 23, I dated this girl I met at a party. She was super into me way faster than I expected. After two weeks, she was already talking about moving in, naming our future kids, getting matching tattoos — full speed ahead.
I didn’t have the guts to just tell her it was too much.
Instead of ending it like a normal person, I made the worst decision of my life:
I pretended to die.
Kinda.
I created a fake Facebook profile pretending to be my “twin brother” (let’s call him “Jake”) and messaged her saying that I had tragically passed away in a “freak hiking accident.”
I literally googled a photo of a random mountain and posted it like it was a memorial.
She was devastated. I felt kind of bad… but also a little relieved.
I thought that would be the end of it.
Nope.
She reached out to “Jake” constantly. At first it was condolences. Then it was weird things like, “I think you’re the only one who understands my pain,” and “Can we meet to mourn him together?”
It got so bad that I had to fake “moving across the country for a fresh start” just to shut it down.
I kept up the lie for THREE MONTHS before finally just deleting everything and disappearing.
To this day, she probably still thinks I’m dead.
Sometimes I wonder if karma is going to destroy me for it.
Honestly, I deserve it.
Comments
We Listen but we dont judge, is kinda hard right now dude.
Holy cow that poor woman tells everyone to this day she lost a boyfriend in a hiking accident.
Never late to reach out and tell her the truth I can do it for you if you need me to .
That could be hurting her to this day
This is the funniest thing to read before I go to bed (southern hemisphere)
Thank you. Please don’t do that again. But, thank you.
Haha this made me laugh. What were you thinking?
Damn. Pretty sure it would just have been easier to not text back. Ignore her. Idk man, anything other than fake dying 😆
For real though. Matching tattoos and naming your kids after two weeks is just nuts. Good on you.
You went through all that for avoidance?
Dude, you are a fucking LEGEND.
They say don’t fight fire with fire, but dude, you freaking fought it with petrol.
So what would have happened if you just told her bluntly it was too much too quickly? Was your life at stake or something?
😂Yes what you did was WHACKY. If you believe in Karma you might want to come clean, and you may want to talk to a counselor or therapist the best way to do that for your peace of mind. OR just learn from your immature past & be honest with your future date(s) from now on. Learn how to be honest with people, it’s the best way to avoid future disasters.
OP’s account has been hacked by the looks, lots of karma farming posts today.
thats gone be fun when she reads about your wedding in the newspaper…
Oh my god
lol this is the plot to a very funny movie – I wouldn’t worry about it, kid. lol. Sitting around waiting for karma is like always wearing your conceal carry gun on your hip in some tiny town, constantly looking over your shoulder for trouble that never comes.Maybe it will happen, probably wont. If it happens, it’s likely still going to blindside you anyway so may as well go live life to the fullest. And be honest out there because it tears you up inside for years after when you lie and might end up less funny next time.
Smooth
Pathetic attempt at creative writing.
Fake death is a bit much man
I love that you had to fake die, then while pretending to be a fake twin you had to fake move 🤣 hilarious
It’s only been 6 years. You honestly should reach out and tell her this is beyond fucked…
Pissed myself laughing at this. Chapeaux!
You have a great imagination and clearly a passion for seeing things through.
Talk about downright cruel. You put that woman through emotional hell to avoid a difficult conversation. That is some kind of next level bad.
Enough reddit for today.
When I was 15 I faked having a twin sister bc I didnt feel like working in the shop I worked a few hours a week but they saw me go shopping in the same mall the shop were. I explained that this was my twin soster because I was sick at home.. Teenagers are so dumb….
How will you avoid running into her? Are you going to be your twin from now on? Maybe you should grow a mustache, or a different hairstyle. Good luck!
Faking your death in today’s world, even 6 years ago is a hard task to accomplish. Gotta rid of the stage 5 clingers somehow
Could’ve just said “I’m out peace.”
Or blocked her. That’s the norm these days. Nobody is capable of straight shooting anymore. So hwt would’ve been an acceptable lack of response.
Boy go back and find your soulmate you’re both crazy
There are many men out there who do it to get a reaction. Some come back from the dead and start talking again.
I thought this was gonna be funny in a…I pretended to be my own twin to avoid a girl, but she stalked my “twin,” and I still can’t get rid of her kinda story. Alas… it was way worse than that.
This is something that, if you can’t fix it in any way, it’s best to either go to therapy or just bury this in your memory forever and never think of it again.
Reminds me of a song…
https://youtu.be/jIDT3mm0PH0?si=LXQ3YTloXmpfj1VU
Since this was at a party, I’m guessing you’re both living somewhat close in proximity.
What happens when you randomly bump in to each other while shopping or whatever?
Will you remember the lies? Your “brothers” name? I hope this happens so you post about it, and I get answers, lol.
My brother once ghosted a girl he had slept with. When she finally got a hold of him and confronted him, he told her he had been in an accident and lost his memory. Yes, he’s kind of a dick.
As a society we do not know how to use our words and communicate our feelings. Imagine if you put this much energy into just being honest?
This reminds me of that episode of my name is Earl. Better make yourself a list and get to fixing it my dude. Karma is no joke.
You did what you had to do to escape a crazy person.
Because she does not sound mentally healthy.
don’t feel bad, she was onto you. She wanted to meet to confront you in person.
I get where you are coming from, but poor chick. I had a boyfriend drown once during a camping trip and that fucked me up!! She definitely tells this story to this day.
This is hilarious
She knew.
Is that you, Chandler?
So she didn’t go to the funeral? Sounds suss
Makes sense
Dude this is AWESOME! You should have hooked up with her as Jake, he could have been the evil twin.
I thought this was going to be a story from when you were 15
Honestly, the only way that headline could get any worse is if that girl was your sister. Smh.
Didn’t this happen in an episode of My Name is Earl?
All that and not just a simple “hey, I don’t think this is working, wishing you the best” text? ☠️
You faked your death, that’s super emotionally abusive.
I wouldn’t feel that guilty you did what you did out of desperation . be thankful you got out,it sounds like she would have been a needy nightmare. But what you did really isn’t so bad at all. Rather funny actually 😜😄
Tell her you’re so bad for her and go back and start dating her again but you’re the next best thing to your brother
I hope she sees this
I was once breaking up with a girl and she just couldn’t let go. We spent 4 or 5 hours in conversation until she just looked me sideways and asked me if I was gay. I just steered right into that mess as long as we could call it a night. She finally accepted that and we broke up. This was a friend of my best friend so I was trying to be careful but…5 hours man. It was 4 or 5 am by then.
It got really, really awkward the next time we bumped into each other and I was with my new GF.
Logan – is that you? You bastard this is Martha and I’m coming for you – you better make things right after what you have put me through!
If you actually believe this AI slop there’s not saving y’all
Ya man. Thats gonna swing back around one day. She deserved far better than that
Slightly extra, but I’m here for it.
Did you consider moving to Yemen for a fresh start?
(If you get the reference xD)
I’m never deleting this app
Lmao after just reading the title, I was going to comment it’s okay I’ve made up some fucked up lies too in the past to get away from people. But then i read the whole thing and was like nope, never made up anything that bad hahaha but it’s cool dude we all have our weird secrets.
You gotta tell her bruh
Alright, alright, I get it — faking my own death wasn’t exactly the ‘mature adult’ play. I was 23, emotionally bankrupt, and my problem-solving strategy was inspired by Looney Tunes.
Could I have broken up like a normal human? Yes.
Did I instead invent a fake twin and stage a tragic mountain death? Also yes.
At 29, I like to think I’ve grown… I’d probably just fake a coma now. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
Wouldn’t she have questioned that your fake profile had 0 friends?
that poor woman’s therapist probably has a whole notepad about you hahahaha
Could be an episode of Curb your Enthusiasm lol
Whole new meaning to the term “ghosting”
I wonder if “my fiancé died in a hiking accident” is now part of that woman’s lore and personal narrative. Bet that fucked her up a bit
(I know you weren’t engaged but you said she moved fast so, she might spice up the details for an extra sympathy sigh)
No because this is actually crazy asf lol. Definitely horrible but at the end of the day you can’t take it back so try to just move forward in life with honesty. If it’s eating you up this bad after years it’s possible just finding her account & confessing to her is the answer. It is what it is, it might be awkward/uncomfortable but surely life will go on & you’ll both be better off.
This is not what people mean when they “ghosting”….
You were 23. She was way too attached. Maybe not the best choice, but understandable. I didn’t know how to deal with such situations at 23 either. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
men will do anything to avoid being accountable and rejecting someone responsibly
she sounds like a nuthead, but you overcomplicated the whole thing, OP 😅
hope you learned something from this
That’s pretty evil man ngl. Sounds like the poor girl really liked you.
Plot twist: OP faked creating a fake post about it to sell it to the girl again.
You should miraculously come back to life in a freak hiking miracle and tell her that her love was what kept you tied to earth
This is fucking hilarious!!! Omg lol. I would’ve done the same shit but I’m much older and computers weren’t really a thing, so we had to break up via a note from our best friend to the others best friend. That’s how it’s done!
So “Jake” and his ‘brother’ ghosted her.
You were a child yourself lol. She sounds delusional.
Yes it was a poor decision but I wouldn’t dwell on it another second. I’m sure she moved on and found someone else to be obsessed without
lol libras lieeeee
Then they say ghosting is bad.
I cracked up as soon as I read the heading of this post. Didn’t even read the rest of it. Back in my ho days it probably would’ve done me some good. Anyway, I wouldn’t trip on it dude she probably doesn’t remember.
And I think it’s important to say that I am a female. This post is hilarious and like I said, I wish I would’ve thought of it.
with my luck, i’d run into her at a bar or something. prepare to act like youre visiting home and have a dead twin brother!
This is pretty funny 😂😂😂
Omg dude you served her straight trauma
Jake! Omg there you are!!! I have been trying to find you for years.
I love how doing this took 100x the time and effort only to make her feel even worse than if you’d just told her the truth…
Hahaha. I’m fucking dying dude. 🤣
Inspiration from Chandler going to Yemen to break up with Janice ?
Hans Ramoray, Dr. Drake Ramoray’s evil twin!
… Chandler?
“Maybe I should simply tell her how I feel… or even easier than that… just die” 😂
I actually did something similar, but it was more sad, and I really regret it. I basically ghosted her saying I got cancer that I got from hepatitis C that I got from razer dirty razor blades. Then she finds miy number somewhere else months later and I had to tell her i wasn’t the same guy.
Dude she probably has already or will name her firstborn after you.