So I (24m) Started dating my gf (22f) like 2 months ago.
Shes is my first gf and the first girl i have ever had sexual experience with. Until we Started dating i would masturbate to porn pretty regulary maybe like every other day on an average week, and stopped watching porn (still masturbating but less frequently than before) a little over one month ago. I was pretty sure i wouldnt have any problem cumming while having sex but i do and im not entirely sure why. We’ve had sex maybe a dozen times and it doesnt seem to get better, is it suppose to take a long time before it sensitive enough to cum from penetrative sex? Im having problem even if she blows me off or giving me a handjob, the few times i came until now i had to finish the job myself.
Dont really know what to do and i thought it might get better the previous month but i dont think it did.
EDIT: Many comments were talking about it so i thought i should mention it
No i do not take any medicine nor use drugs
I rarely drink and when i do it wasnt before having sex
Comments
Death grip lmaoooo
Honestly you’re better off not doing it at all. Try to abstain for a whole week and see how it goes.
Pretty normal. Are you guys doing a ton of foreplay? Can happen to me if there is no lube during foreplay, it gets desensitized from the rubbing.
Sometimes it just doesn’t work too, no relation to porn or masturbating.
Same thing can happen to my wife.
Stress can affect things too, even if you don’t feel particularly stressed in the moment. If you’ve been stressed lately that can affect things too.
Alcohol and other drugs can cause issues as well. Not saying that’s the problem, just that it can be.
You should talk about it with your girlfriend and if you are both comfortable with it, toys can help. You could also try delaying orgasm before you have penetrative sex (also called “edging”). Prostate play may also help. Or you can look for a book on sex positions.
Do you take SSRIs? That can make sexual orgasms more difficult.
When I first started having sex it took me a year before I could cum. Basically lots of practice and not being nervous.
Literally just stop maturbating stop watching porn and or if you can’t abstain do it with the lightest grip possible and as infrequently as possible and your sensitivity will come back after a while
Enjoy it while you can, in another 30 years you’ll be lasting 3 strokes.
I’ve had the exact same problem even though the sex was amazing, do you take any anti depressants? Because that can sometimes cause problems with that
You have conditioned your brain to reach climax a certain way.
You can recondition but it will take time and work.
Climaxing is mostly stimulation of the mind. You have probably trained your brain to enjoy porn and self stimulation so much by this time it is considered the norm by your brain.
Good luck sir.
✨Good for her✨
Ok. No porn. And abstain from wanking. And maybe try some foreplay. I mean like a day in advance teasing and food and what ever, just get yourself worked up. Also what position you prefer to get her going to give you a chance. Not the seldom used reverse cowgirl . But normal positions like missionary or doggy. Just set your mind on achieving those. Also make sure she cums first by whatever means. Pressures off. .
I’m gonna give you some game and no one should judge this 😭. I had a gooner phase in highschool and this pretty much happened to me. How I was able to overcome this mental block was by not watching p*rn anymore. If you do get horny just jerk off but try picturing something that turns you on in your head. In the act with your girl, it’s going to sound crazy but think of that one fire vid you spin back all the time to, think of that scene whenever you’re trying to nut and slowly it’ll start to become easier until you don’t need to anymore. Be prepared to be nutting quick af once you’ve overcome this, you’ll have to find that neutral ground once your desensitization wears off. Good luck 🫡
You’re used to ejaculating from a woman through the phone. It’s gonna be tough but slowly stop watching porn. It’ll ruin your relationship.
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Stop watching porn
Yikes sounds ur like porn obsessed. I don’t see the need for watching porn when ur in a relationship because why wouldn’t you think about ur gf when ur wanking ?
Stop watching porn. It’s unfortunate that so many people don’t realize how damaging porn can be.
Nofap (no porn, no masturbation, more masculinity, more NATURAL testosterone, more sexdrive, more working out, working out legs especially, doing sprint training)
If you tell me you still can’t cum properly after doing this consistently for at least a month, THEN you have a problem.
Now you lnow what it’s like to be a woman lmao
We have no problem,
Despite what others are saying, this is NOT neccesarily deathgrip, nor porn conditioning.
If you stop watching porn and masturbating, and after 2 weeks still cant cum, then you probably suffer from delayed ejaculation, which is often caused by lowered sensation due to penil nerve damage- which can happen of no fault of you own.
Common symptoms of delayed ejaculation is orgasms feeling like a balloon just losing air, where you see your ejaculation, but no real orgasm occurs. Or your penis being leds sensitibe then, e.g. your feet.
Just like some girls just. Cant. Climax. Some guys just can’t either, or atlesdt its hard.
Now, you may be able to ejaculate using your hand, due to how fast you can actually do it, or the angles you are able to control. Insensitivity does not mean you can cum, it just makes it hard.
Something I actually can recommend may seem counterintuitive: try to masturbate until your penis is actually sore. A sore penis promotes blood and does increase penile sensation. I have often had a hard time cumming after not masturbating for more then a couple of days.
Other reasons can also just include anxiety and pressure, both of which will get better with time once you succeed.
Source: diagnosed with delayed ejaculation having only 1/4 of the typical sensation of other people. Dont have sex to cum, but solely to feel closer. I remember my first time cumming with my first gf, having sex 1-2 hours a day for over 3 months before finally cumming once. Got better from there.
Jesus Christ bro stop that death grip
Lay off porn, whatever you seen in porn forget about it and focus on your girlfriend.
For some ppl, they’re brain rewires in a week or two others takes a month or two. Focus on getting more emotionally intimate with her, feel comfortable, make her feel comfortable. Don’t rush anything or expect anything, just enjoy the moment.
Also very important in this case, make sure she’s satisfied and reassured.
Went through a similar thing.
Don’t try and cum and just enjoy making her cum.
If you don’t cum during sex, don’t do anything else afterwards! Wait for the next sexual encounter. Eventually you’ll start to cum because you won’t be able to hold it due to excitement.
Stop watching porn dude
My bf has this same issue, im not sure what to do either. I know im not to blame but still, when ya cant make it happen for them you still feel like your at fault or doing something wrong.
Stop watching porn. Also ypu could be like me and other guys. It is hard for me to finish. Women have to put in some work to make me finish. I know guys usually say they wish they could last longer but honestly it’s not necessarily a good thing.
Are you using a condom that’s the right shape and size for you? This was one of my problems. Took me like over a decade to figure out that was wrong.
Also, communicate, the way you jerk off is probably different than the way your gf does it – different technique, rhythm, speed, style…
Took until my current girlfriend to be able to bust with a condom on and consistently getting head or a handjob.
Don’t watch porn. Cut porn out completely. Stop masturbating for a while.
I think there is a lot of research out there that pornstars can’t either… They are always pulling out at the last minute and cumming some else as well. Don’t feel ashamed.
It could be that your weiner is so used to your hand that the feel from her vag isn’t firm enough
Also if you’re using a condom then you’ll have reduced sensation too
You’re a corn addict, what do u expect
It’s in your head. Think less, relax.
Stop jerking it and watching porn. 2, maybe 3 days and you’ll be good to go.
You got the yips. I get this way with every new girlfriend after my ex wife. For me, it’s anxiety. This could be a factor for you. I’d recommend to lay off the porn for now, relax, and enjoy the ride. In the grand scheme of life, lasting too long in bed is one of the lesser problems you can have with your penis. Focusing on that really helped me when I was in your shoes. Good luck brother.
Porn has horrific effects on the brain. Be careful.
You probably abused your hand too much in the past. Heard of the Death grip?
Porn can reprogram parts of your brain, that’s why it ruins people’s sexual relationships.
Stop wacking off.
Like other have said you probably need to recondition yourself.
Get out of your head during sex. Focus on the connection. Or her body. Or what she’s letting you do to her. Or what you’re letting her do to you. Or your body(wouldn’t be the first one).
There’s no single answer. Everyone is different. You gotta find what about sex does it for you. No one can answer that for you. If you guys have good comms talk to her about it (kinda rare in young couples tbh, so feel that out)
infinite birth control, envious here
Just relax!!! I’m serious concentrate on your pelvic floor muscles try relaxing them. You will feel it and it wonderful!!!
This exact situation happened to me. I was a virgin when I met my wife and masturbated every single day to porn. Sex felt so different than anything else and I apparently had been flexing my pelvic muscles because I wasn’t used to the sensation. Once I was able to cum I learned how to control how long I could last. My wife loves me for it. Good luck!!!
I mean… how into her (sexually and otherwise) are you? Sleeping with a girl that turns you on just by existing and sleeping with a girl that only turns you on when she touches you are going to be two very different experiences. Your head (hehe) might just not be totally into it.
Condoms can definitely impact the experience as well. Though I’m not sure if the reward is worth the risk.
Are you having fun, or are you nervous about your performance and making sure you’re impressing her. I found sex was not enjoyable because I didn’t want the girl talking shit or not enjoying herself. But also didn’t want to hurt her…
Listen to the rest of the comments it’ll come back. Trust me the sensitivity will return and you’ll be okay it just takes awhile so try to limit porn and your grip strength and after a few weeks you’ll be fine