Hi, maybe it’s a stupid topic and question but don’t know if this is normal. My girlfriend stuidies medicine which means she must study A LOT and the pressure from uni is terrible. We love each other very much, when we are together everything is perfect except we see each other for a short time cuz she has to study (which sometimes annoyes me but i understand). She doesn’t have the highest libido but everytime we are at my place and haven’t done it in a while we have sex. But rn she doesn’t come at my house to hang out often, she came a few weeks ago to see each other cuz they would go on a trip with her mom but we didn’t do anything (she didn’t sleep at my place). We live 20 minutes from each other so distance is not so much of a problem unless one of us is too tired to drive.
I’m kind of getting annoyed but i try to understand her and try not to make the whole relationship about sex. but im a male and the need is need. part of my fear is that she isn’t attracted to me phisycally, im naively positive she isn’t cheating but nevertheless the fear of that she isn’t attracted to me anymore is present. So this is mainly a question to the girls: is this the pressure from uni? is it normal to not have sex for a month just cuz you are stressed out of uni? should i do something?
TL;DR me and my gf haven’t had sex in a month and i don’t know if this is normal.
Comments
I mean I’m speaking as a guy, but I would think it’s normal to not have sex within a month maybe she just hasn’t got the energy to put into it at the moment? Especially if you’re saying she’s doing a lot with studying and whatnot but at the end of the day you need to ask her about it lol
this is completely normal, sex with your partner will ebb and flow as the relationship progresses. one month is really not that long either, and it’s also probably not on her mind at the moment given how busy she is with school.
Yeah, stress kills libido — especially in women. Med school is basically ‘how close can you get to a mental breakdown without actually dying.’ But your needs matter too. You’re not wrong to feel neglected. Just don’t bottle it up — have a calm, honest talk without guilt-tripping her.
Have you talked to her about it?
Studying in the medical field can be one of the most stressful and time consuming things that one can do. For some people, they will trade their health and wellbeing just to get good grades and learn as much as they can, even forgetting or skipping food or sleep in order to meet exam deadlines and understand the material. It sounds like sex may not exactly be that high on her priority list at the moment, especially since you mentioned her libido isn’t that high to begin with.
You can choose to be patient with her and be supportive of her until she finishes her degree, residency, etc. in the next few years. But if you can’t then you two may be at a mismatch