I’ve been avoiding this realization for the longest time because it’s super hard to admit, but it’s exactly as the title reads.
I don’t want this crush at all because I love my girlfriend and I want to be with her. I can control myself around the sister and I have never acted on it (and don’t intend to) but this is really messing with me and I want some peace of mind. Even if I did act on it, it can only end badly for everyone involved. Especially because I doubt she even reciprocates.
I’m looking for advice if you have any. How do you get over a crush that you don’t want?
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I’m a twin and this is such a huge fear of mine. Idk what the right answer is but don’t ever tell your gf or her sister.
Who said you couldn’t have both?
If i were in your shoes, i would probably try to demystify and rationalize the experience to try to avoid amplified attraction to the taboo nature of it. Like, its not that weird for a crush to develop, all things considered. You like your gf, the twin looks very similar and probably acts similar to your gf. Youre likely subconsciously transfering your feelings of attraction to the twin. I dont think youre really at fault for this, as long as you dont act on it.
If youre in therapy, id talk this through with them. Failing that, chatgpt can be a surprisingly good resource to get some context and emotional support. A lot of stuff, i would rec you talk to your partner, but unless they are incredibly self confident, i would probably avoid revealing this revelation.
Obviously I don’t know ur situation but it’s possible that ur projecting all the things u like about ur girlfriend onto her twin without any of the potential difficulty or pressure that comes from having an actual relationship with her. Intimacy is a beautiful thing but can sometimes be stressful too. This other person doesn’t have that attached to her so is more of a blank slate.
While completely avoiding your girlfriend’s twin might be impossible, try to limit one-on-one interactions as much as is naturally feasible. This isn’t about being rude, but about creating space for your feelings to subside. Consciously and actively appreciate the qualities you love about your girlfriend. Invest more energy into your relationship and remind yourself why you chose to be with her.
Just pretend your gf is the sister for a while until it goes away. It shouldn’t be too hard to do since they are, you know, twins.
Questions:
I could totally be off here, but it sounds like you guys are pretty young, and the feelings could all be inspired by your gf, but they are at times misdirected to her twin sister because they share so much in common.
While I have no experience in dating twins, my roommate in uni I was very close to had an identical twin. When I met her I only saw her as roommie’s sibling and not a twin. I’m sharing this story because, unless your affection is actually switching to the twin sister, distance and spending more time with just your gf (as simple as it sounds) might be the best way to go here.
tldr: Take some time to figure out why you’re feeling this way first.
Best of luck to you bud.
It’s completely natural, you are attracted to your girlfriend and of course you will be attracted to her twin sister.
Being conscious and human, you have the ability to think and reason so you can decide not to act on it and never show it or tell it to anyone.
Its OK to feel that, you are not a weirdo, just keep it for yourself and thats it.