My wife caught me masturbating and it startled her, which is normal but she has been very strange lately. She said it was disgusting and I’m like all her ex’s. However, she has made tons of comments about me doing that and she knows I do it. I figured we’d laugh,
This is very weird. I don’t think it’s a big deal and she is very sexual… I don’t know why this is destroying our relationship. She’d make jokes etc. But not completely shutting down.
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Communication is key in any relationship, mate. It sounds like you two need to have a candid conversation about your intimate lives – her discomfort may be coming from a place of misunderstanding or insecurity. Nothing to be ashamed of on your end! Masturbation is natural and healthy. Remember, every person has their right to comfort in their own home. Keep being you.
Communication openly about this should help. It’s not about “being right” – it’s about understanding each other’s perspectives. Perhaps she’s dealing with some insecurities or past traumas. It might not be about you at all, but something completely unrelated that’s making her feel this way.
Also, as a side note – everybody needs their “me-time”, you’re not in the wrong nor “disgusting” for having that.
Did she catch you masturbating.. or masturbating to porn.. there’s a difference.
One would be hot and wouldn’t bother me at all. The latter would piss me off and disgust me and not want my husband touching me.
I’d guess I’d start by asking what “like all her ex’s” is supposed to mean.
Definately a conversation needed either way.
So as a wife… my thing is why are you masturbating… why weren’t you seeking release with her first instead of your hand. Now I get it if she’s not available or just doesn’t want to participate. However, I get more pissed at my husband for masturbating when I’m 10 feet away, had actively been seeking a connection with him , or when he claims I don’t put out enough. So, the questions are why were you doing it and to what were you doing it to?
Got eeee
Are you doing it in place of sex with her? You need to have a conversation and sort out why she feels how she does and see how you can both work to come to a solution here. If she is very sexual this seems like a weird line to draw unless there is some surrounding circumstances not shown here.
My wife caught me and said gross. I was jerking into the bathroom sink. She said sorry not gross but I thought you were watching yourself. I said no easy clean up
were you watching porn while masturbating? a lot of women – even if they don’t communicate it – have deep rooted issues with porn. it could be due to insecurity, or issues with the porn industry’s treatment of women, or both.
i doubt it is purely because you relieved yourself, but the way you relieved yourself.
ETA: This doesn’t mean her behaviour now is okay! If this is the issue (the porn), i recommend apologising, reassuring her that you love and only want her, and if you’re willing, agreeing to not utilise porn again. that being said, once the dust is settled a discussion about the way she has spoken to you since needs to be had
Title should be called “my wife caught me watching porn” and no wonder she had problems with it. Talk to her, please. Clean communication is a key. We don’t know your situation.
You said you were riled up, and she was asleep. Imagine, she was, too, so she couldn’t sleep and went looking for you. And saw you picking a virtual woman instead of her. I’m not defending her, but explaining a possible situation for you to understand.
What could make things worse? If she caught you like that often, that’s why the comment “you’re like my ex” (porn addict). Even worse, if you prefer in porn to look at a specific type of woman and she’s the total opposite.
Couples counseling, she might have trauma from the past attached to it, she needs help unpacking that if it’s the case.
“I’m like all he ex’s” …. Interesting comment from her if you ask me.
Is it most men masturbate or just all the men she dates? I wonder …
As long as you weren’t masturbating inside her sister…
Hmm what’s your sex life been like lately? Maybe she feels like you guys are lacking in there and she acting jealous and little ridiculous?
Or was she home when you were masturbating to begin with and maybe she’s hurt that you didn’t come to her and did yourself? (Not saying that you can’t do it yourself and have to go to her everytime) just trying to give a different look.
Maybe she’s a little embrassed? Have you guys sat down and actually spoken about it or are you making it an issue ?
Solution: from now on, whenever you’re getting the urge to whack it, ask her for sex… You’ll either get laid a bunch or she will become ok with it pretty quickly. This worked for me. It actually got us acclimated to discussing our sex life with each other, which is a pretty key thing, imo.
It’s an odd reaction imo and to call it disgusting is disrespectful asf too. I do t think she’s as sexual as you think she is if she’s messed up over you having fun with yourself. My ex did this a lot he was the type of guy who could go 3/4 times a day only time it bothered me would be when he was laying in bed next to me while I was sleeping end up waking me up doing it like go to the other room at-least.
Did your wife think you didn’t masterbate before you got married?
I guess I would start by stroking it right in front of her and allowing her to catch your drift.
Depends on if porn is involved or not? Some women are not comfortable. As a woman with a husband, he can watch porn. Sure, we have boundaries about when I’m home if he can watch or if I can help. Basically, if I’m not in the mood to have sex, I help him. If not, he can do it when I’m in the room, but only of our own stuff. If I’m not there, he can watch other porn.
I’m insecure af, but I’m not gonna ask him to not watch. I just ask it not be anyone we personally know. Most of the problem for me is 99% is that the women are unrealistic af (surgeries, makeup, filters, cosplaying, etc) so i feel inadequate and like I’m not enough. It hurts.
But it’s boundaries. If you were, ask her about this. It’s not an excuse, but it sure is a whole conversation. It took my husband and me months to navigate this comfortably.
Depends where she caught you, in the house, OK, in aisle 3 of the supermarket, not so OK
Start purposefully wanking in rooms you know she’s about enter. Desensitise. Tackle the problem head on.
Wife caught me whackin’ once. I told her that it’s my junk and I’ll whack it if I want, and that she shouldn’t take it as a personal offense. Not another word was said by her about it.
Damn.. cant even beat yo meat, anymore without getting shit for it
Time to confront her completely, next time she’s winding down reading a book, kick open the door and begin whacking it right there in the doorway to assert dominance, let out a few body rolls, to initiate the mating call
begin walking slowly over to her until you’re able to rest a leg over her body (try not to fart as your legs spread) and whisper “let the fear wash over you”, at this point she will be frozen wondering wth is happening, she is afraid but very curious to see where this goes
Have a stone face and look her directly in the eye to lock a connection, and as you reach climax, let out a lion’s scream, keeping eye contact.
At this point you will feel immense guilt and disgust as the post nut clarity hits you, but you have to stand strong, breathe from your nose. Slowly remain quiet and use a tissue to clean up any drippings. Don’t say a word. Then gently lay down aside her and whisper “touch me where it hurts” and gently plant a kiss onto her forehead, and say “I bet none of your exes could ever do that” and rest your head into her chest, gently falling asleep.
This will strengthen the bond of your marriage, as your wife witnesses you in your natural habitat and sees a masculine display of power. ✊🏻
She’s probably trying to process why you were masturbaating when you could just sleep with her.
Females are weird, if they know you masturbate it’s all good as long as they don’t catch you in the act.
When they catch you they act brand new like it’s gross.
Ask her if she masturbates lmao