I (26F) live with my partner (33M). This afternoon, he left the house around 3:40pm to take our dog for a walk. He didn’t say where he was going or how long he’d be. Which is fine, not out of the norm. That was the last I heard from him for over three hours.
At 6:25pm, I called him to check in — he answered and said “Can I call you back in 5?” I said sure. Twenty minutes went by. No call. I texted twice, called again — no answer. At this point, I was worried. So I decided to drive to the area I know he usually walks.
I found him just after 7pm, standing outside a shop chatting with the owner and grabbing food. I wasn’t angry — I was relieved. I hugged him and said I’d just been worried. He was surprised I was worried and said, “I just went for a walk.”
Later he told me I need to “take a breath” next time and not assume the worst. For context: three months ago, he disappeared for hours one night when he was upset and refused to answer my calls, so that memory was in the back of my mind. Also — he broke his ribs three days ago, so I had a genuine worry that maybe he was in pain or something had happened.
To be clear, I wasn’t blowing up his phone all afternoon. I called once at 6:25, then again after he didn’t call me back. I wasn’t accusing or mad — just worried. But now I feel like it’s being spun back onto me, like I was overreacting.
So… AITA for getting worried? Did I overreact?
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Backup of the post’s body: I (26F) live with my partner (33M). This afternoon, he left the house around 3:40pm to take our dog for a walk. He didn’t say where he was going or how long he’d be. Which is fine, not out of the norm. That was the last I heard from him for over three hours.
At 6:25pm, I called him to check in — he answered and said “Can I call you back in 5?” I said sure. Twenty minutes went by. No call. I texted twice, called again — no answer. At this point, I was worried. So I decided to drive to the area I know he usually walks.
I found him just after 7pm, standing outside a shop chatting with the owner and grabbing food. I wasn’t angry — I was relieved. I hugged him and said I’d just been worried. He was surprised I was worried and said, “I just went for a walk.”
Later he told me I need to “take a breath” next time and not assume the worst. For context: three months ago, he disappeared for hours one night when he was upset and refused to answer my calls, so that memory was in the back of my mind. Also — he broke his ribs three days ago, so I had a genuine worry that maybe he was in pain or something had happened.
To be clear, I wasn’t blowing up his phone all afternoon. I called once at 6:25, then again after he didn’t call me back. I wasn’t accusing or mad — just worried. But now I feel like it’s being spun back onto me, like I was overreacting.
So… AITA for getting worried? Did I overreact?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I would have been worried too, I get it… just have a conversation though…
That’s weird, especially with the dog.
Nta
Your partner was super thoughtless. In my house a dog walk usually is about an hour (hikes go waaaay longer lol). If either my partner or I were gone three hours for a walk other person would be freaking out
When I was a teen and constantly getting in trouble for being late my older sister pulled me aside and explained that if I just called and let our mother know I was still alive she wouldn’t be worrying all the time and it would make my life easier. Should I have my sister explain this concept to your partner like he’s 15 years old?
Who else is her meeting?
Not over reacting NTA
But… if you are with a guy who makes you worry when he goes on a walk there’s something to unpack here.
He sounds like his life is unpredictable. He’s also told you to ‘take a breath’ which is strong code for ”I am not going to change“. He’s going to remain… chaotic?
You decide whether to stay hitched to chaos, or move on. And when.
Your not his mother. Either he respects you or he doesn’t. He doesn’t respect you. YTA- for putting up with it. He disappeared and couldn’t be reached for hours because he wanted quality time with somewhere else with someone else.
You’re freaking out after 3 hours?
Give the man some space once in a while and see a therapist.
YTA
Nope. My brain would catastrophize. I’d start calling local hospitals. This happened twice with my husband years ago. He was just going out for a drink with coworkers after work, but didn’t let me know. After he saw how scared I was, especially since he drives a motorcycle, it never happened again. Always communicate. Quick texts.