What do you focus on during sex, on giving pleasure to your partner or on your own pleasure?

r/

What do you focus on during sex, on giving pleasure to your partner or on your own pleasure?

Comments

  1. Keep_TheLights_Off Avatar

    Both are equally important so i’ll focus on both.

  2. Arkavari1 Avatar

    Giving pleasure. I will almost always cum when they do.

  3. Fun_Mistake4299 Avatar

    At some point some science-y people put both men and women in an MRI and scanned the brain while climaxing. Yes, they made people masturbate inside an MRI.

    Basically, in the last 15 seconds or so before climax, and until it’s over, you are focused only on yourself. You’re so much in your own body that it’s impossible to think of anything else but your own pleasure.

    So, until that point, I give as much as I get. In the home stretch I don’t.

  4. Bloodline4u Avatar

    Most rarest questions lmao 🤣

  5. ParticularBrush8162 Avatar

    Depends on what we’re doing but… a lot of the time I’m more focused on me.

  6. OC5317 Avatar

    Definitely focus on your partner!

  7. Ok-Lavishness-7904 Avatar

    Partner. It leads to lasting longer, and rewards me
    In the long run

  8. Kinfrodim12 Avatar

    Pleasuring my partner = my pleasure

  9. Top_Pin_1262 Avatar

    Giving. 100%, I get off getting her off.

  10. FallenAngel_PardiseL Avatar

    If they are happy, I am happy. That being said it really turns me on knowing that the other person is having fun and getting pleasured because of me.

  11. Substantial-Hat-8666 Avatar

    Giving pleasure.  I don’t even finish sometimes.

  12. OceansideGuy93 Avatar

    Both. I’m an equal opportunist.

  13. Sushibot_92 Avatar

    Besides a long foreplay session, I always shoot the biggest loads when the woman I’m fucking is convulsing from pleasure.

  14. Littlebigdicc Avatar

    Giving pleasure

    If all that mattered was my own, I could take care of that manually on my own 😐

    Giving is far more enjoyable an experience anyway

  15. It_Is_I_Fernando Avatar

    Fucking. I ain’t trying to solve Sudoku puzzles.

  16. CorrinaKarma Avatar

    Giving the pleasure! The more I get them into the mood, the more I get into it.

  17. Amazing-Beeh Avatar

    Both, sometimes I like to dominate other times I feel submissive, other times it’s neither but just focusing on each other and making love

  18. hello_mumbai25 Avatar

    I prefer giving the pleasure most to the hotwives

  19. First_Drive2386 Avatar

    My pleasure is hugely enhanced by theirs.

  20. QuietGoliath Avatar

    My partner.

    Here’s a thing – I’ve not had a partner successfully get me off since the mid 90’s – so it’s all about her, and I’m fine with that.

    My current partner has a bit of a complex about it, she feels guilty that she’s not able to reciprocate. I’ve no idea how to fix that particular problem.

  21. Haunting_Cancel_3194 Avatar

    It turns me on more to give my partner pleasure. Sometimes I have to really concentrate when I’m receiving pleasure because it takes me a while to climax especially receiving blowjobs.

  22. PowerfulTank5407 Avatar

    Always give pleasure cause in the return you’ll receive greater

  23. Juggynotdruggy Avatar

    Look of your partner enjoying herself gives me pleasure and turns me on more

  24. hey20969 Avatar

    Her first then me

  25. PaintMaster-Sheo Avatar

    depends on the dom/sub dynamic:
    as a sub i feel like you focus more on yourself, and as a dom you focus more on your partner
    Can’t exactly melt away when you’re trying to stay in control right? But you can make your partner melt

  26. myotheraccount2023 Avatar

    Giving pleasure. That’s the best part.

  27. Prize_Crow_4374 Avatar

    The men in this comment section give me hope

  28. Quartermastered Avatar

    These are not mutually exclusive situations. If it is then make sure you get paid.

  29. aurora_ethereallight Avatar

    It’s a balance of both I feel because when you are in tune with each other, you feed of each others pleasure too… it’s a dance and you are both intuitively moving together.

  30. TllFit Avatar

    Neither. I focus on being in the moment.

    Don’t get me wrong. I do everything to please my partner and make sure they enjoy themselves. I can even be a bit cruel about overwhelming them with pleasure and making the experience as intense as possible and taunt with dirty talk if somebody is into that.

    But I’ve found that just being in the moment makes sex a thousand times better for all parties involved.

  31. Intelligent-Yak00 Avatar

    Giving pleasure to my gf always 🥵
    It makes me more hard seeing and feeling her being pleasured

  32. FlamingLizardWizard Avatar

    I always let my partner cum first, so def giving.

  33. wellhungiam Avatar

    Giving pleasure is also pleasurable, especially if you are more than just physically connected with that person.

  34. Key_Breakfast_9291 Avatar

    Sex is stressful… you wanna do well so badly that you toss your own feelings out the window to avoid embarrassing yourself.

  35. S0ph13Ray Avatar

    Reading the comments almost makes me believe not everybody on reddit is a virgin

  36. Brave-Recommendation Avatar

    My focus is lasting longer the 90 seconds

  37. Slartibartfast61 Avatar

    Don’t we all climax during a scan?

  38. MartyMozambique Avatar

    It switches on the moment.

  39. Ok-Metal-4719 Avatar

    Not my pleasure until she tells me to. Thinking about myself makes me finish way quicker.

  40. normificator Avatar

    I get off getting her off. I can’t get off just sitting down and having the work done for me.

  41. Eight216 Avatar

    Mine… but the reasons why may surprise you!

    As a dude i actually need to not finish so my partner is enjoying herself. So it’s not like a race to the nutt, it’s like a- if i get too involved in what she’s doing right now i’m not going to be able to keep her doing it for very long.

  42. endlessdayze Avatar

    Giving pleasure gives me pleasure

  43. ilomilosh Avatar

    It’s all a blur and then all of a sudden I’m getting escorted from the public pool.

  44. vonPlosc Avatar

    The more she lets me give the more I get from it.

  45. geth1962 Avatar

    Giving pleasure. My lady comes first

  46. BlueMashroom Avatar

    Giving. Because when they lose control, that’s my reward. 😌

  47. HowDarethThee Avatar

    Them, then have to finish alone. The audacity!

  48. fromtheashezz8811 Avatar

    I’m a giver. 3/1 every time I cum she has to cum 3 times minimum

  49. this-guy- Avatar

    I’m usually just making sure that the laptop doesn’t fall off her back.

  50. lite_milk_1 Avatar

    I think the fact people take turns to orgasm is amazing… I’ve not met many who are considerate enough for that… Usually if I get there before them I use hands to help them over the line…

  51. nopalitzin Avatar

    I enjoy so much my partner’s sexual bliss. That’s all what I think about after we have sex.

  52. Afflictedbythebald Avatar

    Depends on the mood.
    If we have time. Then initially on the mood, then on her then me. More if that’s the vibe.
    If it as quickie, she may just want a filling so that’s on me but if it’s a quickie for her then obv on her.

  53. Davecl35 Avatar

    Been that long I can’t remember 😂

  54. cplnh Avatar

    I’m kind of submissive and really only want to focus on my partner. Their pleasure is all that matters. If they allow me to finish myself when they’re done I’m happy

  55. PapaOoMaoMao Avatar

    Both, but in turns. I go down till she’s close then she rides me till she finishes then I’ll finish shortly after.

  56. Rinsetheplates_first Avatar

    It’s like spinning plates! Keep everything going until the crowd applauds

  57. SnoSlider Avatar

    I focus on an interview with Xavier McDaniel on why he gets into a lot of fights.

  58. xBenny- Avatar

    Giving pleasure gives me a lot of satisfaction, even if i’m really horny I feel better and more relaxed after making my partner cum. When I’m doing penetration, I’m focusing on stroking properly and also trying to make sure I finish inside her. When I’m receiving head I’m just relaxing and enjoying it as much as possible and making sure I finish.

  59. he_ayerse Avatar

    Giving pleasure. I can always make myself cum.

  60. Ok-justaboy Avatar

    Her first, numerous times then me once and sandwich time and I’m lights out…. True story

  61. C4CTUSDR4GON Avatar

    I need to last at least 10 mins to get my partner off. I’m usually focused on trying not to cum first.

  62. Resilient-Runner365 Avatar

    Giving pleasure. I get off when she forgets her own name.

  63. rudeKitsune Avatar

    As a reaction kinkster I always prefered giviving pleasure

  64. exposed_web Avatar

    I my culture, sex is a sacred thing, the man devotes the entire time to pleasuring the lady

  65. OnlyRemz Avatar

    Both. It sends me feral when I can see and feel how much they are enjoying it though, I love to please.

  66. ACalcifiedHeart Avatar

    How much do you wanna bet every comment is going to be “giving pleasure”?

  67. KinkyButSweet Avatar

    100% on giving them pleasure, whether it’s making her lose count of orgasms and limping when we’re done, or giving him an willing friend to cum in, it’s all about them. I’ll get off just fine in the end, I don’t worry about me.

  68. Street_Astronomer770 Avatar

    Making sure I don’t accidentally call them by my cat’s name.

  69. KindaBiTBH Avatar

    My own. Why the hell should I care about how much fun my hand is having?

  70. JustWoot44 Avatar

    Her pleasure, first and foremost. I love all the moans, and mms, and ahhhs. I can last a lot longer with her than I can when it’s finally my turn. I wish I could hammer away for twenty minutes, but she’s too gorgeous and I just can’t.

    The first time.

    That second time, I’ve got the staying power of a stallion!

  71. DucktapeCorkfeet Avatar

    Giving pleasure. My pleasure will literally cum at the end.

  72. jiheyuxu Avatar

    Give for another and you will fulfill yourself

  73. AnyTranslator6760 Avatar

    Giving pleasure is where i feel the the real fuel of pleasure arises seeing how your small action are making them go crazy ,so what they hide from society,their real self which is during orgasm has full control and wants to just feel and cross the line

  74. Master_T_Baggins Avatar

    I focus on not nutting too fast.

  75. newhippi Avatar

    You can understand this completely with my partner, first she has to cum violently and then according to her wishes.

  76. LargeSausageMan Avatar

    I’m a dom I want to be pleasured so I prefer submissive women who prefer doing that.

  77. Benjamasm Avatar

    Fully focused on my partners pleasure, I fit into the pleasure dom classification, and my wonderful girlfriend truely appreciates that my pleasure and enjoyment comes from giving her pleasure. I don’t climax often, maybe every third or fourth session, but that doesn’t worry me, I am very happy with how much she enjoys herself

  78. DarthLeon2 Avatar

    OP, just remember that there is a socially “correct” answer to this question when you read all these responses.

  79. PubaertusGreene Avatar

    Both. I love being the giving part, but for my partner that sometimes means me focussing on MY pleasure and just taking them in any way I like at the moment. It’s an interesting dynamic 🤭

  80. Ok_Sky1515 Avatar

    Both. Both is good.

  81. Feeling-Usual-4521 Avatar

    My logic has always been quite simple. The more pleasure I can help her enjoy, the more often she will want to enjoy the pleasure.

  82. VeryTiredHuman4 Avatar

    My own. My partner is a giver, I am… not. I know we aren’t supposed to admit that but frankly I’m terrible in bed, I don’t really enjoy getting others off and I’m not good at it. Past partners would probably describe me using words like “unenthusiastic”, “clumsy”, and “uses too much teeth”.

    I’m great at laying back and enjoying myself though. And I found someone who likes doing all the work and doesn’t want it reciprocated. We’re both very happy.

    Isn’t it so nice how varied people are? I didn’t know I could just find someone who doesn’t like being touched but really enjoys doing the touching. Every pot has a lid.

  83. piperpipin Avatar

    I concentrate on baseball

  84. Obvious_Fix2065 Avatar

    Giving pleasure and concentrating on my strokes so I don’t go too deep

  85. smokey032791 Avatar

    Definitely focus on my partner I want her to enjoy it too

  86. aaaayyyy Avatar

    Giving pleasure until my girlfriend wants me to finish, then i focus on my own pleasure 🙂

  87. x3dfxWolfeman Avatar

    My partners pleasure.
    She doesn’t seem to really care though.

  88. SkeletonOfGrayskull Avatar

    Harder and harder 😈

  89. Long_Serpent Avatar

    Give, and thou shalt be given

  90. Kuro_357 Avatar

    Giving pleasure for me feels more satisfying.

  91. ComfortableArtist534 Avatar

    Giving pleasure, there is just something about seeing your parnter enjoy the hell out of what your doing.

  92. Wonderful-Daikon8196 Avatar

    I focus on her pleasure. She often tells me the orgasm ratio in our relationship is unfair. But her pleasure literally is what turns me on the most. I literally have orgasms from making her orgasm. I’m one of those men that can have multiple orgasms without ejaculating. So when it’s her turn to please me, she can go as long as she wants and I orgasm and she just keeps on going until she’s satisfied. So even my pleasure is for her pleasure. Before me she didn’t even women could have multiple orgasms. Now she knows I don’t stop until she’s had a minimum of 3. And luckily my girl can orgasm from penetration. We have multiple session daily. We’re so in love 🥰🥰

  93. BOOSHMEHN Avatar

    Both, there’s times for both. Knowing how to please someone and doing good at it and vice versa. It’s different everytime like sometimes you or they would be first to bat but the same gist.

  94. SissyConnie822 Avatar

    Always giving pleasure. Mine will cum after.

  95. Independent_News_516 Avatar

    My pleasure is linked to hers so if she is enjoying it then I am having a blast

  96. Klutzy-Virus-8468 Avatar

    it’s a 50-50 for me

  97. SterBout Avatar

    Both cause we both important

  98. V6corp Avatar

    The best sex is when it’s a dance between the two of you. It’s about each of you pleasing the other.

  99. Astarogal Avatar

    Giving pleasure of course. As a man, I can cum on my own accord. Making your wife cum is something to work for and it lasts for a while. I cum and well, get back to doing something else in like a minute or so

  100. motbackwords Avatar

    I’m a man my pleasure is going to be there. I finish every time. So my soul focus is to make sure my partner gets hers.

  101. inodaweh Avatar

    I only cum, when my girl has cum as much as she wants.

  102. M2DAB77 Avatar

    I try to develop a rhythm that will allow my partner to orgasm. She before me.

  103. Big-Sorbet8896 Avatar

    It is all about giving her pleasure 🥰🩷🥰 I don’t care if I get off when we are having sexual relations. And it doesn’t seem to bother her much if I don’t. 

    Sometimes I don’t even get undressed and I’ll give her oral for multiple climaxes, with a little breather in between each. Or I’ll grab the Magic Wand and use it over her clothes and give her an orgasm or two. 

    I do a lot more solo masturbation than she does, so I want to make sure she is being fulfilled. 

  104. X-o0_0o-X Avatar

    Her pleasure is my kink. I’ve always been turned on by the thought of pleasuring a woman. Something about the vulnerability, the intimacy, and being in control of how she feels. It’s better than an orgasm. I get my fix just giving oral sometimes.

  105. AccountantForeign217 Avatar

    My girls pleasure, always. I sometimes don’t even ejaculate. I’ve always taken forever to ejaculate and if it’s past 40 minutes, there’s no way anything’s cumming out (all pun intended). Besides, my woman’s pleasure makes me very happy. Thankfully I know all her points so sometimes she cums in less than 5 minutes. Also, I learnt that penetration is overrated quite often. The clitoris is a wonderful magical creature and your greatest friend. Give it love and it will give love to your woman. If ye get what I mean.

  106. timespentsavin Avatar

    My rule is to make my girl cum atleast 2x before me.

    She doesn’t like that because it makes her feel self conscious , like she’s not pleasing me. It’s not that I just get off from her getting off