A comment I made yesterday in this group really got a lot of responses that are interesting to me. Seems like many of us have nparents who spend freely on themselves, while doing little for us and claiming they can’t/couldn‘t afford to buy things for us, pay for university, etc. it’s astonishing how many people responded with similar stories, both to my comment and the original post that I commented on. It‘s also really sad how selfish some parents are!
I’m interested to know what generation these nparents are from, if there’s a particular group that is more selfish. My nparents are firmly in the boomer generation and are a prime example of how selfish and entitled boomers are. “We expect to be given everything, but we don’t want anyone else to have anything and we don’t want to pay any taxes!!” type of mentality.
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My mom is only 20 years older than me. She’s 48 but I do notice similarities she has with her 89 year old father
My ndad is gen X.
He wasn’t the type to not spend on us as children- if anything he would spend a lot or be elaborate about it. He’d offer to help with college and weddings and schooling, etc.
but ALWAYS made it transactional. It was never just to help or to be a good parent, it was always used as leverage, a guilting item, or something we were made to feel we owed him back.
She’s gen x? 48 I think 😂
My n step dad is Gen X, but usually we weren’t denied a lot of things we asked for. He would give us gifts as part of his love bombing, and then use things he had purchased for us against us if we displeased him in some way. I learned young that nothing from him wad every really free and it was all always tools to manipulate us further.
My parent was born in 1969. I literally grew up in a wealthy neighborhood and was given almost nothing. Anything I was given was held over my head constantly. My parent could never do something nice for my brother or I because he loved us; it was always to manipulate us in some way. He loved the feeling of people owing him something, I think.
My nmom is from Gen x, 22 years older than me. She would cry to us because she couldn’t afford to help any of her four children go to college. Yet she would go on multiple beach vacations a year with her friends and buy designer clothing. She also kicked each of us out by 18.