My husband and I have a 2 year old and I just found out I’m pregnant. He is going to his brother’s bachelor party this weekend. I will be home with our child and our animals. I’ve been asking for details about the weekend, and got nothing. Last night I overheard whispering between my FIL and family friend about plans for a stripper. I asked are you seriously getting a fucking stripper, because I think it’s bullshit (husband was sitting right there). My FIL said I needed to “calm the fuck down” slammed his phone down and slammed the door out when walking out of my house.
I find it completely disrespectful to plan a stripper behind my back when I am the “daughter he never had” and obviously the mother of his grandchild(ren), moreover, his son’s wife! If there wasn’t anything wrong with hiring a stripper, why hide it?
According to my husband, he never knew of the plans, then he said he would leave if it happened, then he said it’s none of my business what is planned because I should trust he would leave…. sure just walk out of the party when the stripper arrives?
I am so floored by my FIL’s behaviour and my husband not standing up for me. Both of them think I am in the wrong for speaking out on it, but I think it’s wrong to be deceitful and try to hide that aspect of the weekend. I don’t think I did anything wrong.
Needed to rant and hoping for some support because I’m truly upset about it.
Comments
There may not be much you can do about your FIL’s behavior. In laws will in law.
However, I’d ask your husband if he would be okay with you going to see some Chippendales. Especially if he says “no, that’s raunchy!”, I would maybe consider inviting him to marital therapy.
Regardless of your personal feelings regarding adult entertainers, having sexist double standards for the children you two are raising is a serious issue. What would your daughter think, when she is old enough to understand?
They hid it because you saw something wrong with it, not because they did. Express your opinion, then leave it alone.
Tell the bride, she might wanna know.
Oh the misogynistic irony of him telling you to calm down as he stormed out. lol
I told my (now ex) husband that if strippers were a part of his bachelor party that I would refuse to marry him. That’s how grossed out I am about the idea of perving on half or fully naked women in the name of celebrating an upcoming relationship deepening/commitment ceremony. I’d feel the same way if someone had male strippers for a bachelorette party. Just my personal opinion on the matter, I know many feel otherwise but I think it’s important to know and respect your partners opinion for conduct around that matter.
Fuck it. Plan a girls’ night for the following weekend and hit up an all male strip club.
Maybe you should tell him that, next weekend, he’s staying home with the toddler while you go away with friends, and that it’s none of his business what you’ll be doing because he should just trust that it won’t be anything he wouldn’t like.
They fuck the strippers, don’t be cool wife and pretend to be okay with it. Trust me.
Women I love us but you are in the wrong. It is not your husband’s weekend and he is not the planner. Your FIL did not go behind your back and he doesn’t need to answer to you. You escalated first so if you want an apology you have to give one.
If you are uncomfortable let your husband know and you guys work it out. Everything else is none of your concern