I (27m) recently wrote a post regarding work/life balance. specifically, how to enjoy your free time when you’re tired after work.
In the post, I explained that I live with my parents, work the standard 40 hour work week, do the vast majority of my own household chores and have money saved up as I don’t have an expensive social life.
Nearly all the comments (there were a lot) were calling me lazy and entitled for living at home in my late 20’s. Mob mentality started to take over and I continued to receive nothing but hate.
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“I’d never allow my adult son to continue living at home, once he turns 18, he’s out.”
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“Your parents have failed you, they’re enabling you.”
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“I moved out at 18”
Some of the comments were helpful, but these comments in particular pissed me off quite a lot.
The majority of my friends (25-30) all live at home, the only ones who don’t have partners and therefore two incomes. the only other exception is one guy with a high paying job.
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A lot of these people are so far past 18 that they cant grasp that we don’t live in the same world anymore.
Not by default, but it increases the odds.
why not live at home if your parents like you being there? it’s great for everyone
No one younger than Boomers think this anymore. Times have changed and most people understand that.
i think being thrown out at 18 is cruel, i also think not making enough money to live independently at 27 years old is indicative of some changes needing to be made.
It depends I guess. You should be doing all of your housework at nearly 30. You have money saved up not because you don’t have an expensive social life but because likely your parents are paying for the mortgage.
I think this is mostly an unpopular opinion in the United States. Many countries have multigenerational households where the kids don’t leave unless they’re ready to go, married, or buying their own home. I unfortunately am not one of those fortunate people, but I think it only becomes an issue if you expect people to subsidize your life. If you’re a contributing member to the house and not taking advantage of your loved ones, I see no issue. Unfortunately in the USA independence is our culture, and if you aren’t you’re viewed as lesser than.
I’m in my late 20s and almost everyone I know lives with their parents regardless of class, income etc. It’s a bizarre and deeply American idea that you have to move out the second you become an adult.
Don’t listen to them. “My parents kicked me out when I was 18” I’m sorry that your parents weren’t there to support you. Honestly, I wouldn’t get bothered by it.
It’s no longer possible to move out at 18, without several roommates or you’re living in a dorm at college which is most likely going to be paid for by parents or student loans so you should completely ignore those comments.
Late 20s making good money and having savings feels kind of iffy though. If you’re saving up to buy a home then fine, so long as you’re contributing to the household.
Im 31. I moved out at 20, split rent with my brother on a town house, and bought my first home at 25.
Don’t let them get to you. People outside the USA stay with their parents for decades. In fact, it’s common to have multiple generations living in one house.
I moved out at 17 back in 2007. Pretty much have lived on my own since. I wish I had parents who were responsible enough for me to stay at home for awhile and build myself. This is a bad economy, the worlds in a state of shit, no one wants to pay a living wage.
I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion for anyone gen x and under. It’s being more widely accepted, and if you have the opportunity to stay with your folks and build yourself, you’d be stupid if you didn’t.
>In the post, I explained that I live with my parents, work the standard 40 hour work week, do the vast majority of my own household chores
Yeah, that’s the difference right there. The rest of us do ALL of our own household chores, not just some of them. And we pay the mortgage too.
I used to live at home with the folks, much more affordable but my mental health was in the shitter. I rather live paycheck to paycheck with the peace of mind of having my own space.
I think people can be bitter that they were forced out by their own parents at 18 and had it rough, therefore other people should face the same. It’s unhealthy and projection imo. Times have changed – mentalities are stuck in stone
There’s no requirement stating a person is required to move out once they turn 18 and there’s no requirement stating that after you’re an adult you can’t still live with your parents. Everyone has a system that works well for them and just because someone still lives with their parents in their mid-late 20s, it doesn’t mean they’re any less accomplished than those that don’t.
It just sounds like you’re super privileged, being able to live with your parents in your 20s. Not everyone has that luxury.
You live in the basement, not contributing rent, nor doing chores? You’re either a bum or disabled.
You pull your weight and your parents are genuinely down with it? Who gives a shit. My uncle has lived with his mom for 6 decades now, and it’s nice to know she’s got someone looking out for her.
man get a roommate. Do you want to date? “Come back to my parent’s house”. You don’t need a romantic partner to share the rent
Parents that kick their children out when they turn 18 are massive pos.
As long as you’re contributing to the household fairly (financially or with labor) it’s totally fine. Generational households are very common all over the world.
I feel a little bit you are. I think parents saying they’ll pick their kids out at 18 are crazy, but if you’re 25+ still living at home that’s a little ridiculous. I’m 22, single, with a job that isn’t that high of pay (pay is $25 an hour and I live alone. Has it been stressful a little bit, yes, but I have pretty decent money managing skills. I am able to still save money at the end of the month. I do think rent prices are absolutely out of control, however at some point you have to do better.
I was out at 18 by choice. At one point I lived with three other guys in a half double because that’s the only way we could afford it.
It’s a personal choice. As much as I love my parents there was nooooo way I could handle them every day in my early to mid twenties.
I think that most people who think this way have carried over that mentality from years ago when it was more feasible for a person to move out right after high school and come from a culture where that was the norm.
Between dorming and working, I effectively moved out at 18, but I unless something major changes, I would honestly be pretty shocked if my kids were able to move out before 30 and even if they wanted to I’d probably discourage it for the sake of saving money.
I know so many people who have had to move back in with their parents in their 30’s and 40’s in the past 15 years that I think this mentality is starting to disappear as people come to grips with our new economic reality.
Nope, if I could go back, I would definitely do it. I just “had” to be on my own. What a stupid mistake.
In this economy, it’s the smart decision. If I had a healthy relationship with my parents I’d be doing the same
Get out there at 18 years old and sink tens of thousands of your entry level money into some well off elderley couples’ buy-to-let mortgage, you mooch!
Maybe it’s just because Reddit is an open forum for everyone to say whatever they want, but there’s a lot of people on here that seem really concerned and bothered by other people’s life choices like it affects them personally. As long you get along with your family and there’s mutual respect of boundaries on both sides, living at home in your 20s can be a great way to save money and spend extra time with family.
Mooch – ask for or obtain (something) without paying for it.
If you don’t pay them for living there, I’m pretty sure that meets the definition.
HOWEVER, I don’t see a problem with it if you could live elsewhere and prefer not to.
“Chores” lmao what are you 15
You are if you’re not working/actively looking for work, studying or not helping around the house. If you’re doing non of these you’re a leech/mooch
I’m 27 with no job til this fall(it’s at a elementary school) and I still live at home
Lived with my parents until 28. By then it was just a room to sleep in. But I was able to save damn near 90% of my take home and have enough to buy my own house.
It’s no different that parents paying for your wedding, paying for your first car, college, paying the down for your first house, or even all of the above. Parents can help their kids in many ways, providing a rent free shelter should fall under that category. And I am sure most would agree that they would love any of those to be paid for vs out of their own pocket.
You are making a declaration about yourself, not others
I was a mooch in my 20s, i didnt really do chores, i chilled in the basement playing games, i did work part time but i did not contribute to the household, i wasnt doing well though i had some problems which was due to how toxic my parents were, when i left home i got better and was able to do better, dont talk to them anymore, but i did send them a check for $15k to cover my mooch expenses even though it was part of their fault as to why i was a mooch, my depression and anxiety got way better when i left that toxic household
I’m in the same boat as you. I pay a third of the mortgage, take care of my own shit, work full time. I’m here cause I’m paying for school out of pocket out getting a useless degree after high school and getting in a lot of loan debt from that. Everyone my age that lives on their own is struggling lol. My parents have a house in a really nice and quiet suburb in Columbus ohio, their mortgage is the price of the a 1 bedroom in a really rough part of town simply cause they bought the house 20 years ago.
It’s common in many culture for adult younger generation to continue staying with older generation, but share finances or take over. A lot of the time, the older generations are appreciative of the help and like having the younger generations around.
It’s mostly preference and family dynamics.
The idea of “you are lazy if you are an adult and stay with parents” no matter what is toxic imo.
Almost every other culture on earth has never stopped doing this.
“You’re supposed to move out at 18” has always been propaganda to perpetuate the real estate market and consumerism.
And hey what do ya know, all of those cultures are far healthier and more connected than Americans. Not only have I lived among many of them but there are countless studies and surveys proving this.
I think it makes sense to live at home with your parents when you’re working towards your own goals, but the thing most people focus on is that you can’t live with your parents forever. I have a lot of friends who live at home, and they all have different levels of personal responsibility (some pay rent, some pay bills, some do chores, some get a pass, etc). It really depends on everyone’s situation. Are your parents willing to continue to support you? Do they have the money to do so? Do you have a plan or a goal, or are you intending to rely on your parents forever? A lot of people side-eye adults living at home because it’s a lot to ask your parents, even if you’ve only ever known living with them.
Edit because I forgot to add: If you’re parents are able to support you and keep you at home, that’s fantastic! I wish everyone were so lucky
Real estate agent here. Recent data shows that most people under 30 still live with their parent’s nationwide. The world sucks and its not people’s fault that they are still with their parents especially with how astronomicaly high rent is the past few years.
In this day and age, with the way one generation is hoarding wealth at the expense of the next, this is completely legitimate. The minimum wage should be at least $25 an hour if not more. That combined with the pathetic Healthcare System we have in the US makes it very, very difficult for young people to get established. My kids both have so-called insurance, but the co-pays, coinsurance and deductibles make it prohibitively expensive for them to even go to the doctor. It’s ridiculous.
Im 44, didnt move out until I was 26 and it wasnt because I wasnt working. I had to get 2 roommates before I moved in with my wife.
if you:
doing what you are doing is almost the only way to achieve that
also, FWIW, you probably shouldn’t let redditors insights into your life based on a singular post get to you like that
Hey if your parents are cool with you being at home, that is great. A lot of non western cultures embrace this kind of living.
The flip side of this is that you are taking valuable time and resources away from your parents as they approach retirement, so if it’s you and all your siblings in your 20s crashing at home, working stocking shifts at the local grocery store, then you are more of burden than you are a housemate.
Get ready to embrace adulthood soon and stand on your own feet for your parents’ sake. They most definitely love you and want you around, but come on, you are old af. Let them know when you’re ready to move out so they can get on with their lives.
You’re only a mooch if you’re not being responsible with your time and money.
If you’re saving/contributing and being responsible, then you’re just living in a multi-generational home… which has benefits for everyone (though some downsides too).
I lived with my parents until I was 27 and for me it was great. I get a long with my family very well so there was never any real issues.
when rent is like $2000 a month and minimum wage is only $15 an hour, not many 18 year olds will be able to move out
My sons (currently 14 and 9) can live with my wife and I as long as they want. I don’t see any problem with them saving some money in their 20s so they can have the life they want in their 30s and 40s and beyond. They can stay with us to SAVE money, not to WASTE money.
But… when I’m old and infirm and retired and not earning as much income I expect the favor to be returned, lol.
I think young adults NEED to learn how to live on their own and be self sufficient and have freedom to make decisions (good and bad) but if they choose to come back after a time and contribute to the homestead, I think that’s great. As long as it doesn’t become a barrier to them developing their own lives, partnerships, etc.
It used to be the norm for kids to continue to live with their parents, and kicking kids out at 18 has caused numerous social issues.
Rent is so expensive and not everyone can afford it. Younger people are getting denied apartments because they don’t make three times the rent. It’s tough.
If you get along with your parents and can keep a respectful arrangement, do it. Some of my peers didn’t move out until they finished grad school. Rent is expensive here.
I’m in my late 20s and I’m living with my parents not only because it benefits me but because it benefits them. They’re not making as much as they used to and need my income to pay for expenses.
You might be if you don’t contribute though.
Depends on the situation. If you’re working and/or going to school full time and your parents are OK with it then not a mooch. If you’re not working, not going to school, or barely working or going to school then you’re a mooch.
People with disabilities obviously not included in the above statement
We are purposely planning out our future to either buy a condo for our kids to live in so they have independence or upgrade our home so they can have their own apt space. We want them to live at home to save money if they can.
We want to pay for school.
We want to pay for their wedding or give them a down payment on a house.
We want to give them every opportunity we had to scratch and claw to achieve. We just got lucky with our situation. If you have kids, why would you NOT want to help them navigate life as a young adult.
It was my goal growing up to get my own place one day – took me till 23. When I moved into my place and was cutting the grass and working outside I’d have neighbors strike up a conversation then ask “so are your parents around?, would love to meet them”
I was was puzzled at first
I’m living at home but honestly I cannot wait to have enough to move out but I cannot right now due to being on disability.
Do you pay them rent and also pay for everything you use and eat?
If not, you are mooching.
Moving out at 18 is a stretch these days, but late 20s is pushing it. Do you really want to be in your 30s living with your parents? Seems like dating is near impossible in that situation.
Not in this economy
In this economy this is very smart of you. Ppl are who are lucky enough to have good relationships with their parents should absolutely be doing this.
It entirely depends on if you contribute. If you’re working , help out with bills or other ways to help and you’re parents are cool with it then it’s fine.
If you don’t work, are a complete slob, and just take then you’re a mooch.
Honestly my feelings depend on how you’re contributing to the household. Your parents shouldn’t be expected to put off their own retirement or financial security to pay for you forever either.
If you’re living at home over the age of 20 and not helping your parents financially with house stuff like food and utilities yes you are a mooch.
Not necessarily bad. But are you helping pay bills? And do you have a plan for buying a home?
If not, living at home at 27 is…kinda wild.
If you are living at home but not financially compensating your parents although you are able, you’re a leech.
INFO: What kind of job do these “late 20s early 30s” have while living at home? What is the COL in the area?
Working a minimum wage job is better than living at home doing nothing I suppose. But it still isn’t a “career” unless they are building towards something better down the road. Places to live can also vary greatly around the country, housing in Cali is whacko compared to the SE for example.
I think the “late 20s early 30s” that others consider as “mooches” are the NEETs – Not in Education, Employment, or Training.
At the bare minimum being a functional adult with a job should negate the mooch part, but even that seems like too much for some, and that is where “mooch” would come in.
In Brazil, it’s very common for an entire family to live together—three generations under one roof. Usually, when a couple gets married, one of them moves in with the other’s family, they have children, and the cycle goes on.
When I was a kid, eight of us lived in the same house: two grandparents, two couples, and two kids.
That whole idea of moving out at eighteen and living on your own? That’s a product of United Statesian capitalist culture—something cooked up by the market and drilled into the heads of the gullible.
I find nothing wrong with living at home past 18, but for those that have it is very different than those that have not. For example, I had a friend that would constantly try to get me to go out and do things and she never understood why I was busy. She had more kids than me, but since she lived at home she didn’t have to 1.cook every meal 2.clean entirely 3.watch her kids 24/7 because her parents did it for her 4.pay all of the bills and know that there is no alternative if you run out of money. I’ve known many people like this and while I wouldn’t call them a mooch myself, there are people that take advantage of it. What you’re doing doesn’t seem bad though, but it is a luxury that not all people have, but many want.
Kicked/Moved out at 18 is a 1990 reality, doesn’t work now & I moved out in 1991…could work full time @ minimum wage & afford a place without a roommate & without hobbies.
There’s a difference between living at home with your parents and mooching off of them. I lived at home with my parents until I was 30, contributing by paying what they asked of me in rent and buying and cooking my own food. You were planning on dropping the number of hours work you were doing intentionally despite already contributing little and basically being a hermit.
As a father , it’s fine. With the direction our country is going I have no doubt my children will have to stay in the family home. Multigenerational homes are not uncommon outside the US
I’m cool with all this. However, let’s get that “Vast Majority of Household Chores” changed to “I do all my own chores because I’m almost a 30 year old adult”
Then, it’s kosher!
Not enough information here. Do you have a degree? Are you in pursuit of one? Are you working a career job with upward mobility? Or are you working at Chipotle?
If you’re trying to pay off your loans and working towards the ability to be financially independent then great. You have a plan you’re working towards. I don’t see an issue with living at home in those circumstances.
If you are working some low level food service job, have no degree and have no plans to get one and you sit around and smoke weed in your parents backyard after work then you’re a fucking mooch.
If you are welcome and contributing to the household, that’s not mooching!
The terms you and your parents’ agree upon is no one else’s business.
Anyone saying otherwise must be a bit jealous. lol
As long as I walk this earth, my kids will always be able to come HOME. They can’t bring home anything like drugs or stuff like that, but my house is their house, especially in this economy. I want them to be adults but there’s no shame in living here if it means financial and mental stability and their safety. Kicking them out at 18 won’t do them any favors.
There is a lot of nuance to be had in a discussion like this.
OP, it sounds like you are doing it right. In your case, there is nothing wrong with you living with your parents. You are working hard, doing chores, and it sound like you are a positive contribution to the household.
If you were late 20s, jobless, slovenly, and all you do is smoke weed/play vidya, then yeah, you are just a parasite on your parents life. Even that isnt the worst thing in the world if your parents dont mind. If you are living this lifestyle while emotionally manipulating your parents into financially providing for your slacker lifestyle at the detriment of you parents financial and mental well being, then you are an absolute piece of shit.
Living at home with my parents for a bit and it’s been fucking awesome. My parents are my best pals, and they aren’t going to be around forever. I realize it doesn’t work for everyone though
As long as you are contributing and your parents are fine with it – then nobody else’s opinion matters. I think people inaccurately group together the infamous “neckbeard” doing no work around house still asking their parents to cook dinner for them at 35.
Most don’t realize everything is really expensive and a single income is unlikely to support someone on their own
I lived with my parents until I was 29, rented with my ex for 3 and a half years but we split then I bought my own home last October at 33. All the people saying anything negative are likely from a time when it was normal (and much easier) to marry and get a mortgage between the ages of 19 and 24. When there was no social media, no ridiculous interest rates, etc.
F the haters, you’re doing just fine 💜 there is NOTHING wrong with living with your parents at any age, as long as you and they are okay with it, who cares what anyone else thinks? Ignore the trash. You do you. Be happy. Enjoy it while you can!
Aren’t you just fucking annoyed after 25 years at home? You’ve saved up a lot I’d imagine, if you have the ability to what’s the hold up? If you don’t leave the nest by 30 you’re definitely a mooch.
It’s not the default but there’s a point you know.
Both my adult children live with me. I am happy to have them here and not struggling to survive.
I think it’s because at 27, you have a good job and money saved up and you are still living with your parents.
FUCK what other mfs think fr… it don’t matter what the reason is, it ain’t nobody’s business regardless! Stay safe 🫶🏼
They’re just mad their parents kicked them out at 18. My kids can live with me until they get married and move out (unless THEY choose to move out before then). What’s wrong with living at home and saving money? Don’t you want the best for your kids? To give them the best start? I moved out at 23 (when I got married) but living at home allowed me a great start and a fully paid off wedding without going into debt. My kids are only 4 and 5 but they’re ALWAYS welcome home with us even as adults.
shoot. some people are.
im 25 living with my parents. half of every paycheck goes into my savings for a house downpayment. can’t save as much money as i am if i have to pay rent
Truly, my daughter can live with me her whole life and I wouldn’t mind at all. She’s a person with a lovely soul and it is very helpful to have her in the house. She’s unassuming and doesn’t much interfere with anything in my life. I will pay my mortgage and utilities on this house whether she lives here or not, why should I force her into the stress and uncertainty of finding affordable housing in this economy? Why do we want people we love to stress and strife? She would also be taking housing that could be used for someone who doesn’t have an alternative. There’s often a very selfish motivation to the kicking them out crowd that is camouflaged as concern for someones well being
It’s ridiculous to think that kicking someone out is going to make them grow up or be more adult than just teaching them from the beginning to be responsible members of the household and society.
There are, of course, stipulations to all of that and every situation will be a little different. Ultimately the point is that if you and your parents are content with the situation then everyone else can mind their own dang business.
Many are, many aren’t.
I law an absolute parasite, not working, contributing or going to school. Constantly burdening parents with their pet sitting.
If you’re doing something productive and the parents are in agreement then by all means save that money and use the launching pad.
I’d never boot an adult kid but would kind of be wondering about the end game.
Also would be concerned about my son’s dating life and if that would be a relationship blocker.
You mention having money saved – is there a number you’re targeting for a purpose?
Examples: down payment, start a business, etc.
As a parent I would probably downgrade my own living situation to get an adult kid into their own place before I’d keep a larger home that they can live in with me. I’m probably unique there as I will be downsizing immediately after last kid goes off to college or career.
I agree. The house is big enough for everyone. Why waste money on rent while you are saving up to buy a home? It’s ridiculous. My house has my husband, myself, my daughter, her husband, her two children, and my son. Everyone but the married couples has their own room (we have to share!). Everyone cooks, everyone cleans, and everyone contributes to the household.
Stems from a bygone era where young people could be independent easily. Nowadays we’re going back to multi generation households as humanity always did it
i mean, are you paying your parents rent? most of my friends are relatively successful, and most still live at home to some capacity (same as me), most of us pay our parents some amount of rent though, especially if they’re still paying a mortgage
like the issue i see here isn’t living with your parents, is living at your parents rent free, especially if they could use the money.
1 bedroom apartments in our area (def not a big city or anything) cost more per month than we pay for mortgage on our 3 bedroom house. The kids literally cannot afford to move out.
One of my two kids is disabled and can’t live indendently. I am physically disabled and need help, and my husband is nearing 80.
My other kid and their fiance live with us. We are going to put the house in the three kids’ names. So the non disabled kid and their spouse get a free house, and my disabled kid gets a permanent place to live even after I die. (I am not quite 50 so this is hopefully a long time down the road).
This way everyone gets a higher standard of living than they would have separately, and those of us who need help get it. The non-disabled kids can spend less money surviving and more enjoying life since they pay 1/5 of the mortgage instead of 100 percent of the rent.
Edit: I should have mentioned all 3 kids are in their 20s
Living with the parents is not by definition being a mooch. They can be reliable roommates and you can both benefit from the arrangement. But, the whole living with the parents thing is a spectrum that includes some who are mooches, both parent-side and child-side. Don’t be those people. Be the kind that have mutual respect for each other, and where all capable adults contribute to the household in an equitable way, be it financial, home maintenance, or caregiver.
I think it’s smart to live at home and save to be able to move out comfortably. The world is more expensive than when I was 27 and it wasn’t easy when I was 27 being out on my own. If parents are willing and able to have their child stay with them to save towards purchasing something or to get out of debt than that’s their decision. It’s different if you’re living at home and broke and in a ton of debt.
I moved out at 22, but I was married. I don’t know how you single people manage. Shit is expensive.
I just moved out at 30 and I’m more financially stable have a good job. Was able to save money and my parents were happy to help me there. People getting kicked out at 18 and then have to go figure their whole life out isn’t a flex. The difference between 18 to 28 is HUGE. I don’t know how many people figure it out on their own at 18 in this economy.
Do you help with rent, food?
I was writing a check each month and paying for my own expenses otherwise before I moved out, even though none of those things were asked for.
That’s fine as long as you pay it forward to your children and let them live with you until they’re 30. Something tells me you won’t feel the same way about that situation.
I’m 31. Moved out when I went to college and never went back. I enjoyed my freedom and i really didn’t get it living at home. I also didn’t wanna go back to the podunk town I grew up in.
My opinion is: The economy sucks right now, especially for people under 30 without a high paying job.
18-24, who tf cares. You’re young. Just save as much money as you can.
25+, maybe shit didn’t work out like you thought, but if you have a plan and a timeline then good on you and good on your parents for helping you out.
If you’re over 25, living at home, with no ambition or goals, then you might be cooked. Get your shit together.
I wouldn’t say you’re a mooch but I wouldn’t consider you dating material either. So I guess as long as your cool being single, it’s all good.
Mom of a 17 year old checking in. Our son is welcome to live at home as long he wants or needs to with some stipulations. He still needs to contribute (as a member of the household) and he needs to actively be working on a future-oriented plan. Could be going to school, a low-paying internship, saving to buy a house, whatever it is.
Just because the majority disagrees with you does not make it “mob mentality”.
27 and 18 are very different. If you were 20 then maybe I’d agree with you, but you are 27. In those 9 years, you absolutely should have been able to set yourself up to be able to live somewhere else, even if it is with roommates. Are all 27 years old living at home mooches? No, but the majority probably are. Plus I’m sure it makes dating not fun at all.
Agree 100% and we need to normalize families being families. Not everyone is ready or able to fly the coop on their 18th birthday. Families come in all forms!
Nothing wrong with staying home for a while in your mid late 20s if it’s productive. The problem is staying at home and doing jack shit. My brother in law is 27 and has never had a real job and takes advantage of his mom with emotional manipulation. Classic failure to launch syndrome – kid has a masters doesn’t even try to move his life forward.
You aren’t a mooch, you’re lucky. My parents say I always have a place to stay with them and I’m very grateful for that.
I attribute a LOT of my current success to the fact that my father essentially insisted I stay home until I was successful enough to be on my own, and I have real concern for parents who do otherwise.
A lot of the negativity is probably just jealousy. You’re managing to save money and have what seems to be a supportive family. Many don’t have that and project their anger on to you wrongly.
You’re not a mooch for living with your parents at any age as long as you’re not taking advantage of them and you continue to pull your own weight. I moved back in with my parents when my first marriage failed (age27). From day one. I did most of the cooking and cleaning. I did my own laundry and I always cleaned up after myself. I also took my mother to every Dr appointment and anywhere she wanted to go because she didn’t drive.
Some people are just bitter that their parents were dicks and yours aren’t
It’s because in the 50s and 60s you can actually get affordable housing with a just out of high school job.
So true! If you are able and have a good relationship with your parents, I would take the opportunity to save up and get your sh*t together before moving out.
I think it may be unpopular in the USA, but my kids will always be welcome. I can think of incredibly few circumstances where I’d be like heck no. I mean we’d probably have to eventually deal with the finances of it if they were able to contribute financially, but that’s about the most I’d do.
I was thrown out at 18 and went to the military which was my only option at the time. This might have been a baby boomer thing. I am out of the military and if I ever have kids they can stay at home until they get on their feet or finish college. I would be funding their college and staying at home is easier if it makes sense. Some of my best friends went homeless after high school which was horrible and I don’t want my kids in the future to deal with that. That would make me fail as a parent.
No issue at all living with your parents. Hell I’m 50 and I wish one of mine was still alive so I could move in with them… lol
My son is about to turn 22 in July and moved out on his own last year with his gf. He split up with her a few months ago and I asked if he wanted to move back home. He did not. Made me sad.
My son 26, just moved out this year into an apartment with his girlfriend. We’re in a high cost of living area and living solo was not practical. I was more than happy to have him live with us and save as much money as he could. He paid off his student loans too. That said not everyone has a great relationship with their parents, I couldn’t imagine living with mine. I’m sorry people were so negative.
The reality for most people has shifted. I’ve told my children many many times that they will always have a place to stay. I don’t care what happens. They are my children.
I completely agree! I’m 27 and I’m finally able to move out this summer after saving up for a while. I work full time and I still help my parents around the house. I’m very lucky that they’ve let me live here past the age of 18. Most of my friends also still live at home due to financial issues. It’s crazy how some parents expect their kids to be 100% financially independent and on their own right out of high school
32 here living at home.. I pay 90% of the rent for my mom. I’d rather give her my money.. pay off the mortgage than to some blood sucking apartment owner.
Do they know how much rent costs and how much student debt is? Lol
I moved into my own apartment, by myself, when I was 18. I just wanted to, my parents didn’t kick me out. My son is 20, and lives with me. I don’t charge him any rent and he can stay, rent free, for as long as he likes. It doesn’t matter, either way.
This is only unpopular if you’re American
I agree with you. If you get on with your parents and your parents like you then why not? It’s actually a sign they did well if you can all live happily together. It gives them more time with their son who they love and you an opportunity to get on the housing ladder with more ease than you would otherwise. Anyone who says otherwise either hates their kids, brought them up to be awful or are of the mindset that because they struggled then everyone must. Enjoy it, no judgement here from a 33 year old.
My oldest is still at home. They’re 20 years old. They have more money saved up than I ever did my whole life and I’m so proud of them!
When they finally decide what it is they want to do with their life, they’ll have a head start that most don’t have and I couldn’t be more happy for them.
I’ve always had the opinion that of you decide to bring a human into this world, you need to have their back, for as long as the parent is alive. You never stop being a parent.
I had to leave home the same month I graduated high school. I was still practically a child myself, even if I was allowed to vote.
My life has been a struggle, I was never able to go to college. I had to work full-time to pay bills, school was completely off the table. Now I’m just continuing the cycle my parents lived— living paycheck to paycheck, having no marketable skills.
Now at 29, I’m just now thinking I might be able to continue my education. But only something online that I can do in my own time, because my work schedule and other responsibilities doesn’t allow for in-person schooling. And since I won’t be able to attend a regular school, I have to pay out of pocket.
I’m just glad I’m child-free. I can’t imagine trying to have it all together, continue my education and have children. I couldn’t do it.
Parents have seen me do nothing but struggle and kick and scratch for everything I have in life, but also are wondering why they have no grandchildren. With what money or stability would I be able do that? I’m not going to do what they did and have children I can’t support.
This turned into a rant, thanks to anyone who read this far 🥲
More and more Im genuinely surprised by the amount of people in their 20s that WANT to even spend time around their parents let alone live in their house. My parents started charging me $400 a month in rent after I turned 18; needless to say I left asap. I do think by 27 you should be established enough to live on your own but whatever works for you works I guess as long as you arent mooching
One thing that springs to mind is :
If you’re still living at home at 28 and are fine with it, that’s great and I’m glad it’s working for you…. but why are you not mature enough to accept the negative comments? It’s just dumb strangers on the internet, my guy!
Most cultures outside of the US don’t just kick their kid out at age 18. Especially in this economy, it makes absolutely no sense to do it.
Lame. I moved out and had a high paying job after undergrad, but I also went back to live at home to save money on my MBA for 2 years because they lived in the same city as my top B-School matches U Chicago and Northwestern. So I moved into their condo downtown to live and make my commute easier, as well as save about 50k in living expenses.
American culture fucking hates their children and giving them a leg up apparently. Glad I come from immigrants.
I planned on expecting my kids to move out at 18, unless they were in school. If they’re in school they can live at home or I’d pay their accommodation costs. I also would give them a bit of support the first year or two on their own.
I’d they wanted to move home after a bit on their own, it much better an option depending on the circumstances. I just think it’s important to learn a bit about what it’s like to live independently.
However, the way the cost of living is going, I’m expecting it will be more practical for them to live at home into their 20’s.
This is very much an US thing, OP. Many, many places all around the world aren’t like this weird “get out of my house at 18” like it seems.
I’ve got a 15y/o son. He’s awesome and he’ll always be welcome in my home.
I hope he gets the opportunity to go to college out of state. He gets good grades and has a good head on his shoulders so it’s possible. But who knows what the future has in store.
It’s an expensive as hell in our city here in the US. I see no benefit to dooming him to paying exorbitant rent to some land lord.
Times have changed. Alot of older folks – including me – had goals to move out of parents houses ASAP. I couldn’t wait for independence! I went to college and got a well-paying job right away. That’s not how things work anymore. Some older people do not believe this. I do as I have Gen X stepsons who struggled to live independently. Some of it was entitlement, i.e., they didn’t want to start out low and move up. Some of it was the high cost of rent, cars, groceries, etc. It’s even worse now for later generations. Not everyone is going to understand you, but if ur parents are ok with it and pulling ur weight with them – don’t worry what others think. Unfortunately there are many ur age who r lazy etc. But that is definitely a generalization. You sound like u r doing fine! Save up until u can be successful when do move out!
I’m 27 and still live with my parents. I had a rough couple of years mentally post lockdown and ended up coming home. I work 40hrs per week, help with chores/cleaning, and help cook. I’m almost fully back on my feet but we’ve decided that it doesn’t make financial sense to move out right now and that I might as well keep stacking.
As long as you’re respectful, contributing to the household, and are taking steps to secure a better future (working, saving money, investing, etc) then I see no major issue.
If you’re in your late 20s, unemployed (by choice), and are just bumming around all day then yeah, it’s time for a change
I’ve told my son who’s turning 18 I’d like him to live with us as long as he wants to, or even if he doesn’t want to he SHOULD until he has a substantial savings. I’d rather him stay and save up as much money as possible before he moves out so he can perhaps buy a house instead of renting at any point. I don’t see any reason for him to go until he absolutely wants to (like moving in with a significant other and starting a life of whatever lol) I moved out of my parents home the minute I turned 18 with no savings and wish I hadn’t lol.
In the US, I honestly don’t know how most young adults are expected to make it on their own right out of the gate. 20-30 years ago, when you moved out of your parent’s house, you could reasonably expect to find a decent job, pay a small amount for rent, and still have enough left over to save for a house.
But these days? Ooft. Rent is as expensive, or more expensive, than a mortgage. I think it’s fine for folks to continue living with their parents until they can afford to move out. If you’re paying your fair share (like for utilities, groceries, etc), and doing your fair share, then I don’t think there’s a problem living with your parents. It doesn’t make you a mooch.
I’m also 27 and currently live with a parent.
In addition to dorming in college (which I don’t explicitly count as a form of independence because of the support I got at the time), I have moved out before, but I have only lived quasi-independently of my family for 2-3 years.
Most of the people I know are in a similar space where they either:
The idea of being independent financially from 18-22 is outdated. That model was developed when college was basically free, having a B.A. was an elite specialization, and 1-income households were commonplace.
Nowadays, the average 24-year old has at least $20k in debt, having a B.A. is excessively average, wildly expensive, and it only qualifies you for jobs just above minimum wage, good starter houses cost at least $250k, 2-income households are a given, and a car costs at least $20-25k.
If we lived in a society where transportation was affordable, or houses could be bought on just 1-5 years salary, then of course people would move out before they’re 25, yet that isn’t the case, so it isn’t doable for most people.
To live on your own, it seems like you need 75k/year minimum to not drown in most places within the U.S. That is probably at least 35k/year more than the average recent college graduate is making.
>The majority of my friends (25-30) all live at home, the only ones who don’t have partners and therefore two incomes.
Why not team up with 2 or 3 of them and get an apartment together? Lots of people need to start out by sharing expenses with roommates as they work on getting their careers going.
If you’re content living at home with your parents and they’re happy to have you there, then it’s whatever. Personally, I would feel awkward as hell about pushing 30 and still living at home with Mom and Dad.
You aren’t a mooch if 1) your parents are 100% ok with the arrangement and 2) you are actively contributing to the household chores. If your parents don’t expect a financial contribution, you know what? Go for it. Save as much as you can, but eventual independence should be the goal.
Living in your parents’ house doesn’t make you a mooch.
But if you aren’t paying for your own food and share of the bills at a bare minimum, and doing your fair share of chores, then you are a mooch. Being an adult means paying your own way and taking care of yourself, not expecting to be carried by others (unless you have a genuine medical reason why you can’t care for yourself). Your parents looked after you as a child because you look after children. They shouldn’t have to look after an adult, and just because they let someone get away with being a mooch because they love them doesn’t make that person any less of a mooch.
If however you are paying your own way and choose to live with (and pay rent to) your own family rather than a stranger, then that’s a valid lifestyle choice.
For me this really just boils down to compatibility. Is the child helping, working, respectful, have a good attitude and contributing in a way that everyone agrees with? Is the parent doing their part as well? If everyone gets along, everyone helps, there are no poor attitudes and living together is harmonious then who cares?
One thing you should consider as you’re hearing comments like those:
People who live at home have one big item in the “PRO” column and one big item in the “CON” item, and people might be keyed into one of those points more.
The PRO column: If you’re living with your parents in your late 20s, it PROBABLY means you’ve got superior relationship skills than many younger people.
The CON column: If you’re living with your parents in your late 20s, it PROBABLY means you have not learned to manage your life effectively as an adult who must uphold duties to the rest of the world. (Of course, this view may ignore the fact that many young people rush out and into the arms of bad relationships in order to avoid some or all of those duties, too.) It POSSIBLY means that your relationship with your parents could interfere with your relationships in life, too, but that’s not really anyone’s business but your own anyway.
I never judge if you live at home.
I judge if you complain about being broke without spending money on housing or utilities lol.
Like if you’re going to live at home, you better use it to your advantage. Pay off debts, get a down payment saved up etc.
That’s the only time I judge.
I think this is a nuanced question. Someone living at home by choice and for financial reasons (assuming the home environment is not unhealthy) is a responsible choice and frees up money for what is usually your highest expense.
But if you’re living at home playing video games all day and doing nothing to become independent, I would say that’s lazy and entitled.
In any case, I moved out just after college with some roommates. Not too expensive and less of an issue for your social/dating life. Can’t imagine living with the parents and doing the same. Opinions aside, dating as a man living with his parents is very very difficult because it’s unjustifiably frowned upon for one gender.
You’re not automatically a mooch, but I do believe you’re robbing yourself of being independent. Independence is healthy, and the longer your parents allow you to stay, the more they’re robbing you of it too.
Yes you are lol