Not had any luck having a baby with my wife after trying for a while. Any male perspective here?
Went to the GP today in the UK regarding the fact that me (32m) and my wife (30f) haven’t been lucky yet in terms of having a baby.
She has a family history of hormone deficiency to the point that her mum was told she couldn’t have kids. Alas, she had 2!
Me on the other hand, nothing like that that i am aware of but we’ve been trying for 2 plus years and no luck.
I should add, we are both booked in for blood tests etc later on in the month.
What are other common reasons why it might not have happened yet?
I keep myself fit with running/cycling and gym etc. My wife is maybe not as active as me but BMI charts would have us sitting as overweight…
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We have had an hyperbolic epidemic of infertility. This is extremely new issue. Which means it’s environmental. Perhaps do the opposite of the food pyramid and see what happens. I suggest a paleo style diet.
Are you using ovulation strips to get the exact dates?
Are you extremely stressed right now?
Diet is good?
Making sure to clear out 1-2 days before ovulation so your dudes are fresh?
This sounds like a health issue. My wife and I had our first at 32 and we took two months. Our second at 34 took a month.
I have friends who had issues like you and you mentioned your wife’s genetics. It’s very possible she has a similar issue and you may need fertility counseling.
Unfortunately, that’s far outside the scope of this place, trust your physicians and their findings. Good luck!
My wife and I tried for almost 2 years before it happened. I was 34, almost 35 when it happened, my wife was 26.
It’s also not uncommon to miscarry when you first try. We had that happen too. It was really hard on my wife.
Women getting off birth control have issues too. It can take a good while for your body chemistry to get back to a more natural state
I am 40 and my first was born literally a week ago!
My wife went off the pill early last year, and I think we fell pregnant about 2 months later. Sadly, we miscarried at about 5 weeks, but got pregnant again 2/3 months later, so we were pretty lucky with the process over all.
Trying for 2 years without any luck is a tough break man, sorry it’s been like that for you. I definitely think you are doing the right thing by going to the doctor, it seems pretty likely that there is an issue preventing you from falling pregnant. Being a bit overweight will count against you, but even so, 24 months of having regular unprotected sex without falling pregnant indicates something else is at play here.
The good news is that modern medicine can work wonders in this space now, so you will likely find a way with proper support. If I were you, I would consider skipping the GP and go straight to a fertility clinic/specialist and to look at alternative methods of conceiving. Where I am, there were really great options available that I didn’t even know about, and it’s a pretty big industry with a lot of happy customers around.
I was 40 when my son was born. It was fine, apart from the sleepless night. We tried late and everything worked out OK. Hope you and your wife are successful.
What is your wife’s height and weight? Being overweight reduces female fertility quite a lot. Also, most of the other comments here are good…. keep track of ovulation, save yourself for when she’s receptive, etc etc.
You and your wife should meet with a fertility specialist so they can run additional tests. Me and my wife tried for 7 years but struggled because she has pcos. We ended up doing IVF and now we have twin boys.
Took my wife and I (both 30 at the time) a little over half a year to conceive. I think part of the delay was that I spent some portion of those months dealing with anxiety and depression, once I had a handle on it, blam, pregnant wife.
If you have concerns, talking to both of your docs is a good step. Sounds like you’re on the right track.
What does “trying for a while” mean? Random sex with no BC for 2 months after coming off hormonal BC is pretty different than 8 months of planning sex for peak ovulation by logging vaginal mucus changes and measuring BBT every morning at the same time.
It took us 6+ months for kid #1, at first just “pulling the goalie” but eventually monitoring BBT etc. Probably a bit of anxiety coupled with stopping decade of hormonal birth control on her part.
Kids #2 and #3 were VERY simple. First “regular” cycle after stopping breastfeeding at ~12 months.
My ex wife had plugged falopian tubes so sperm couldn’t get to her eggs and her eggs couldn’t get to her uterus. We tried for a couple years before doing in vitro, which yielded one miscarriage and two healthy kids. I was 36 when my oldest was born. In vitro is a hell of a process to go through for the woman and it’s expensive. It’s also pretty amazing. You’d never know both my kids were cryogenically frozen for a few years.
Somethings off. It took about 6-12months for each of my wife’s pregnancies.The first and the fourth went full term
Let your wife do her part. For yours do a spermanalysis if that’s not already included in the “blood tests etc” that you mentioned.
In the meantime – how much do you drink? Do you use any nicotine? These are things that can affect sperm health. There are probably others you can look up.
My wife and I have been trying for about a year, we’ve already done all of the tests and basically we’re unlucky, I guess. No bad results that would indicate we were going to have a ton of trouble getting pregnant. It’s not always a you or her issue, it can be just random chance.
ETA: I think women (at least my wife) take this thing a lot harder than men. I got the tests and went “okay, there’s nothing wrong, we keep trying” but she got the tests and went “the tests say there’s nothing wrong, but my body is failing me anyway, I’m a failure”. So do your best to support her as much as possible, the stress that comes from feeling that way doesn’t make conceiving any easier.
You should see a doctor, 2 years is far too long. She was pregnant in a month and a half of trying with our first and I got her pregnant 2 other times when she would just forget to take her daily pregnancy pills. I’m over 30
I creampied my wife when we were 42 and got her pregnant, 2 years later we have a daughter.
We had similar issues conceiving. Have you had your sperm count and mobility checked?
Wife had history of endometriosis which worried us a bit. We both had a check ups.
Took a while but we did end up conceiving three times. Unfortunately one was miscarried.
It’s not over yet my friend, but definitely have the tests run and know you aren’t alone in this struggle!!
Are you not whacking off the days before ovulation? Are you aware of the days ovulation takes place? Are you guys very stressed? How is your diet, exercise etc?
There are many variables to consider. Some people get pregnant on the first try, others try for years and give up before it happens by chance.
If you’re banging every day or every other day and aren’t getting pregnant there’s issues. If there’s nothing it might be the wife’s hormone defficiency or the swimmers aren’t up to the task. If you’re having constant miscarriages there’s loads more that could be going on and sometimes people just aren’t compatible.
It took us about a year first time. I think it probably depends heavily on the results of your tests.
Assuming everything comes back normal, we found having sex every other day worked and didn’t take long really. Was a good time!
Within a few months of trying. There are many factors that impact this, of course. Timing, nutrition, etc. If you’re “doing everything right” and still not having success after many months, get yourselves checked for any fertility issues. Good luck.
Our first kid – almost instantly. We just sort of winged it and it worked.
Our two-year-old – That took a lot of conscious effort. Everything from strips to tracking the calendar to an app to you name it.
Like a year or so, I think? My wife was at the point where she was about to go to a doc for the issue. Then we just got lucky.
About 2 minutes.
My wife and I are both 35, and we tried for a few years trying all the different methods and tips. I had testicular cancer when I was 24 (though our issues ended up not being my sperm), so we ended up going to a fertility clinic. And after 4 IUI’s of no success, we finally did IVF. My wife is now 18 weeks pregnant with our daughter, who is due in September 🙂 Sometimes, you just have to get medical professionals involved to know exactly what is going on.
Stress could most definitely be a factor, to be honest. She works in a busy hospital environment and is normally a cheery and upbeat person, but the demand is pretty intense. We have also both lost grandparents in the last 6 months, which has had a big effect.
I do get occasional bouts of anxiety, but I can usually manage it well enough, and I’m not medicated for it.
Our diet isn’t actually that bad, I’m high protein and a lot of veg, mainly because of strength training and cardio. I know she is doing a slimming world diet, which is getting her to eat normal foods again. She is also going to start taking folic acid.
My wife and I are the same age. When we had our first at 25, it was on the first try. My wife has 1 good ovary (the other was “mangled with endometriosis”) and after the birth, the OB told us she was lucky to conceive. Then at 28, again it was on the first try.
Then at 32, took like 6 months of trying. Then at 35, about a year. Got harder every time. This is with my wife tracking and knowing her ovulation with a kit and us having sex multiple times a day in that small window. IIRC, she also got concerned on the 3rd and 4th child and got some fertility boosting prescription from her OB.
I have plenty of friends in the 30s now going through the same. It takes time. Almost all of them worry and most of them were successful after some time. Just go through the process, work with the doctors, try not stress too much… lots of others in the same situation.
Literally one try for my second kid conceived when I was 32.
I’ve been pretty blessed and have had a very easy time producing kids. I know a few guys who have really struggled with it. It isn’t unusual for it to take awhile, but two years is definitely beyond normal.
Weight can have a big impact. Both you and your wife should shoot to be in the healthy weight range when trying to conceive.
Has she been on birth control ever? It takes years to get that out of their system.
Both times was pretty instant for us. Like clockwork. First kid I was 35, she was 30 and or second was almost 4 years later.
It all depends. After my first kid my wife went on depo the birth control when she got off of it after a year it took us another 4 years to have our second one. That could be why
Tried in mid 30’s and it didn’t take. Took a break and tried again in later 30’s and it took right away. Like crazy quick. I think it’s a little luck and just hitting those windows as close as possible
Immediately.
That’s not a joke. My wife (34 at the time) and I (35 at the time) had a conversation that a baby would be ok on NYE.
We had sex on NYD and it was the very first time in my life I finished inside a woman without a condom.
That got her pregnant.
Is it normal that once you’ve ‘cleared out’ that you don’t have an immediate urge to have sex anymore?
I feel a bit silly for saying this, but I actually thought the longer I left, the better it would actually be better for the chances of conceiving…
There’s only a few days per month a woman can get pregnant. Time it. I know it’s anecdotal but try to be on vacation and relaxing during the time once and watch the magic happen.
Did you get your sperm checked yet? That should be your first stop.
Be sure to bring your own porn on your phone. Jerking off in a hospital room is a true test of mental fortitude.
While there could be a wide variety of issues, I personally feel that many women put a lot of stress on themselves when trying to get pregnant. We tried for a couple of years, then ended up getting pregnant with twins on our second round of IVF. My wife was 31 and I was 33.
Two years later, we ended up getting drunk together at my best friend’s wedding, which is rare for us since we don’t drink much and one of is is usually the designated driver, and found out a few weeks later that she was pregnant with our third.
The same thing happened with a cousin of mine. They spent years trying to get pregnant and finally adopted. Two years later, they got pregnant naturally.
We were 32m and 30f when our oldest was born. We just decided we were going to try for a spring birth and went to town for a few months until we succeeded. For our second we tried for early fall and did the same method, but didn’t succeed for about 4-6 months and ended with a winter baby instead. We were tracking ovulation and everything and we got a few false positives while trying.
Took us a total of 2,5y and 3mc mostly in the latter part of that, to welcome our first. And another 2 mc and about 1,5y until the 2nd one was born.
Is she taking prenatal vitamins?
Clean up the diet. Skipping meals is better than eating processed meals. Most of western world is in a calorie surplus. You should also see a fertility doc by this point. Couples in early 30s should be pregnant in 6 months of trying. Past one year is troublesome. The fertility doc will tell you if it’s correctable or not.
Never underestimate STRESS as a major component.
Couple friends of mine were trying for their first baby, both professionals in high stress jobs, both slightly older (he 36, her 38). They tried for 3 years, both “natural” and 3 rounds of IVF at $15k/round. They had both been to doctors dozens of times checking fertility, egg quality, sperm count etc. She was going to acupuncturists for stress relief and seeing other therapists because she was depressed they hadn’t gotten pregnant yet.
They 100% gave up and said “well, she’s 41 now, I guess we’re NOT having a kid in this lifetime”. BOOM, 3 weeks later, naturally pregnant, zero complications, healthy baby girl 9 months later.
With you trying for 2 years with no luck OP, you might be putting too much pressure on each other to “make a baby happen”. Maybe take a break from trying for a bit, go on a long vacation together and just enjoy each other’s company.
After trying for a solid year my wife and I both went and got checked out. Turns out I was firing blanks, like almost no sperm present in my semen. Had a testicular biopsy to try and find answers, had my head scanned to check for tumors, thankfully nothing like that. I was just made this way(I wish I would have known this in high school and college!). Anyway, my urologist sat my wife and I down after my biopsy and went over our options. He said that adopting was a very viable option cementing to us that we would never have children biologically. This hit us hard, I really struggled with it, would she stay with me? What would become of us? We decided to take a break from trying to conceive and worked on our careers. After about 2 years we finally decided that we were ready for the adoption journey. We now have a happy(although sometimes moody) and healthy 13 and 14 year old.
We both have learned a lot. It was a huge wake up call for me not to take things for granted and realize that there is more than one way to have a family. Later both my mother in law and niece from my wife’s side would be diagnosed with cancer and we now know that cancer runs on my wife’s side of the family. If we had had biological children would one of them become sick like my niece? We will never know. But we are thankful every day for our little family and our experience.
Your experience might be just like everyone else or it might not. Just stay on the same page and talk to each other and you will have a family.
Had my first at 30 and second at 33 but only tried for the second one. We were about to give up but then i ate a costco size bag of almonds and a bunch of dark chocolate. My balls were literally heavy.
I bust a nut that could have covered a 2004 pruis bumper to bumper.
Her ovaries didnt stand a chance.
First month of trying. Turns out the wife is very fertile.
We are both 35 and it took us 2 months. Crazy quick. We weren’t expecting it with all the people we know having trouble. My wife had to tap me on the leg a few times because it sounded like I was rubbing it in but the truth was it kinda happened too quick. I would have liked to enjoy married life a little longer and honestly the suddenest of it made it feel not real.
Partner was infertile due to a blood condition, in the off chance she got pregnant, she should be incapable of carrying to term, and if they carry to term they should have significant mental or physical abnormalities.
Anyways, first pregnancy was twins, she carried to term, and they came out physically and neurologically sound.
I was 32, she was 29.
Little blessings and lots of prayer. Keep trying OP, takes a while sometimes
My wife has PCOs. First time took 8 months, wife was 31. Second took 1 week, she was 33. The third came after two miscarriages, and took maybe three months after the last miscarriage. Wife was 42.
So hang in there. Read about glucemic inde in foods and avoid too many fast carbs. A diet similar to LCHF is advisable, but again look out for the glucemic Index.
I am by no means an expert, but there is a link between hormones, fertility and the food you eat. Both of you.
This is bro science but I basically had a 100% conception rate for my 3 kids so I swear by this whenever it comes up. Also assuming you and the mrs. don’t have a pathological issue like blocked tube, no eggs, etc…
Acetyl L-Carnitine allegedly improves sperm quality by a large degree. I’ve taken it since 2011.
Just wanted to stop by and wish you and your family good luck
The blood tests FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and LH (luteinizing hormone) can determine fertility, and are a first step before having to give a sperm sample. They will also test your thyroid. But as you stated that your BMI is on the high side, for men weight can lower testosterone production. But you are active, and that chart always seems ridiculously off, especially once you hit your thirties.
When you get your test results back, ask for a copy so that you can review your Total and Free testosterone levels. Don’t let them just tell you that it’s in the “normal” range, as it can be on be very low end of the scale, but still say “normal.” I only mention it because many men in their thirties begin to suffer from low t. Regardless, at least you’ll have a baseline to go from if you do have issues later in your forties or fifties.
We were 31 when our first baby was born after several years of trying and several years of losses. The two biggest factors for us were that my wife has PCOS (cysts growing on ovaries) which impact ovulation, and then her body also doesn’t produce enough progesterone to carry a baby. My wife has to take metformin to help keep her PCOS in check or else she’ll only ovulate once every 3 or 4 months. These extra challenges mean my wife has to really track her cycles diligently. She also has to have a procedure done on her periodically to remove some of those cysts. And then as soon as we find out she’s pregnant, we need to get a prescription for progesterone or else the baby will be lost.
She carries guilt with her because of those things. It’s stuff she has no control over, but she always felt like these struggles and our babies not making it to term were entirely her fault. That’s one of the more painful parts for me, just seeing her beat herself up.
Basically we fucked raw for 6 years straight.
She never got pregnant from it so we went to get checked.
Both healthy and fertile seed. (Under microscope)
I smoked a bunch of weed though and the doctor said that was the issue, it lowers fertility and the chance to get pregnant by a large %.
So i quit the quid and 3 months later we went into a course to get my seed filtered, boosted and injected straight into her womb.
She got pregnant on the first try. My son came to earth when i was 31. Healthy.
A year and few months later we started to have unprotected intercourse again after her pill was finished. We wanted to have a sibling for my first child. And since the first one took AGES we started early. I got some nice unprotected birthday sex
That was the third time unprotected sex after the pill.
She got pregnant from that of a TWIN. M/F
I was 32.
Now 34 with 3 kids. 2 boys 1 girl.
Two months of the most joyless and regimented sex I’ve ever had.
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Have spontaneous sex during a natural disaster. I’m not being funny, it has to do with stress and adrenaline.
Myy wife and I tried for two years. I was 33 and wifey was 28. We were on a 6 month break from trying. Up pops Hurricane Floyd. This was my wife’s first hurricane and it was a doozy. Nothing I did could calm her panic attack, so I threw a huge kiss on her against the wall. Needless to say, we channeled her fear and anxiety in another direction for 36 hours. Two weeks later she peed on the stick, and that kids is how I met fatherhood.
Two years later, we conceived during a blizzard but that’s not as exciting
The moment we stopped taking active measures to prevent pregnancy, she got pregnant.
If you are healthy, there is likely no issue with you. You can get your sperm count checked pretty easy. That is mostly all there is to it for you. At 32, you do not have age related problems. And even if you are out of shape, that should not be an issue. A woman is more complex than that. She has a relatively short window every month to hit the mark. You miss it, you wait another month.
I remember the first time we had a baby at 28. And i had two more at 31, and 36. The first time it took us about a year. Honestly, she felt alot of pressure. I did not, I looked at it like it would happen when it happened and it did. The first baby came, and then over the next 8 years of our child bearing phase we had 8 miscarriages in addition to the 3 children.
We never checked for ovulation. Our method was to just have sex that completed in the vagina every day, especially in the estimated ovulation time. Believe it or not, it does become a chore. Just because she was highly motivated, so it was like come home from work do it and then the rest of the chores for the day. It lost the spontaneity and my mood didn’t matter. Not a bad thing, but like being extra tired and out of the mood didn’t matter. She was very regular, so it was easy to predict ovulation. After the first, we did not do that routine and it was more natural with everyday activities.
39 year old dad here. Have had a few friends who struggled in their 30’s. It usually came down to 1 of 3 things: 1. the husband was morbidly obese and when they lost a significant amount of weight, they were suddenly able to get their wife pregnant. Not sure the biology behind this but if I had to guess they were severely low in testosterone which lowered sperm count. 2. The wife was morbidly obese and once she lost a significant amount of weight, she was able to get pregnant. 3. Endometriosis. Once they had surgery to remove tissue, they were able to get pregnant.
We tried for about a year, I’m 32 she is 29.
I am 32 and my wife 38. It took us 8 months to get her pregnant. We played with every detail like do it in the morning when the sperm is more “strong”, fitness, no alchool, no smoking, etc. I was desperate and went to a doctor to measure the quality of my sperm and to do some blood tests. Meanwhile, it just happened. Hope you will have the same lucky as me. Take care.
Stress can have a large role is my guess. There’s probably a good reason why my kid’s birthdays follow certain holiday patterns.
I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s (thyroid) and unexplained infertility, husband had several tests and bloodwork done he was totally fine. It took us two and a half years until we conceived our daughter, he was 36 and I was 34 when I gave birth. I’m willing to bet your wife has hormone problems since she has a family history – which I also had. Getting your bloodwork done is good, maybe there will be more answers after that.
Hi mate – check out r/maleinfertility for some thoughts / stories if you are having issues. Lifestyle tips etc exist over there.
My wife and I fell pregnant twice the first time of trying… but then on #3 she ended up having 6 miscarriages because of an issue with my sperm (high dna fragmentation, caused by an infected prostate). Honestly – worst period of our lives – I got my issues fixed and now pregnant with #3. It can also stop conception. I’m not saying you have the same issue, but it’s worth getting tested and doing a semen analysis if you’re worried. There’s a good chance things are fine and it’ll take more time.
So take this seriously – make sure your boys are in top shape; it impacts you both!!
Stress plays as massive in this and people don’t understand how inhibitive is. If your partner is putting too much pressure on herself then it can really work against your chances. Took us a minute and we pretty much gave up on the idea, my wife relaxed alot then it happened!
It came quite easily. And in some case, too much easily.
You both sound healthy, to the point where toxic habits arent hurting your chances. Wait for the tests (be ready to provide a semenalysis) and go from there.
Source: in round 3 of IVF with my wife. Failure to conceive can be from SOOOOO many factors and it can’t even always be explained.
I know how stressful It can be wanting to know “it’s not my fault is it?” (It’s nobody’s fault). But don’t drive yourself crazy trying to find a reason…sometimes its unknown
After 3 years trying we had to hit the IVF route with donor sperm to make it happen. It was an emotional rollercoaster tbh and we got lucky on the 5th round of IVF. From the first consultation it took about two years to the point of Inception… Baby boy arrived 8 weeks ago, well worth the wait!
Stress was a big one for my wife. We tried for years but once she quit her job and reduced her stress levels then it happened in a few months.
We didn’t time ovulation for like year, just kinda willy nilly, and no preggos. Then we started timing it strictly and got pregs by the third cycle
I got my sperm checked before trying. I’d recommend it, it lets you know where you stand. I also wanted a higher risk lifestyle if I wasn’t going to have kids.
I was closer to 40 and it took about two months. We timed it, I took the sperm vitamins which increased the volume quite a bit, also used sperm friendly lube.
How long have you been trying? It took my wife like nearly a year because of how long she had been on birth control. We were told in the states that you don’t really even start talking fertility treatments until you’ve been trying for a year
My wife and I struggled for a bit as well.
We both went to a specialist. Nothing wrong or concerning with my tests, but she had cysts all over her uterus to the point that it could prevent pregnancy. She also had hormone deficiencies and other ailments. Doctors had recommendations that she wasn’t comfortable with. So she decided on something else…
Honestly, I was skeptical, but the wife proposed limiting plastic use. It’s the only real change we made. After a few months of limited plastic use in the home, she had a scan and everything had cleared up. It’s the only thing I can truly point to. Our lifestyle and diet didn’t change, we just refused to use plastic Tupperware, plastic utensils, plates, bottles, started keeping shampoo and conditioner in glass bottles etc.
After a few months she was pregnant, but she had irregular periods so we didn’t really know she was pregnant right away. A few days after we found out, she had a miscarriage and then a few months later was pregnant again. The pregnancy carried some complications, but it all worked out. We now have a healthy 10 month old baby boy.
Best of luck to you and your wife.
Ok class, listen up. Going to pass along the tip our doc gave us when we were having trouble conceiving:
Mucinex thins all bodily mucus, including cervical. If you’re trying and having trouble, her using it when she’s ovulating may be worth a shot. We wound up with twins.
2 years of trying. 2 attempts of IVF, where the first one resulted in a miscarriage in week 6.
My wife has a mild case of POC and my sperm was a bit too slow. We both lead a healthy lifestyle (working out, no drinking, no smoking, healthy nutrition).
I suggest looking into IVF. Thanks to it we have a 2 year old son, who at least to us is nothing less than the best kid in the world.
I was 37. It took one try.
Drunk and stoned at a music festival.
Left on that vacation as a couple and came back a trio.
For me, my guys had low motility and it was subsequently found that I had an infection that affected my sperm but was not showing up in a blood test. After a short course of antibiotics, wife was pregnant at the next opportunity.
It took us 2.5 years for first and 0.2 for second. I have the high score for count and she has no issues. Stress we believe played a major factor, we were timing it like crazy with ovulation timers etc and I think that (in hindsight) made it worse. We conceived on a holiday when both drunk af. The only time over that. 2.5 years we drank.
Thankful that we were only trying for a year to get pregnant. We have friends where it took 10 years for them after multiple miscarriages. Thankfully they now have 2 kids. Cool thing is that the wife has gone on to become a counsellor for women who are struggling with pregnancies, so silver lining at the end. We are experiencing a generational bust on pregnancies for multiple reasons. I pray that you and your wife are able to conceive, but if not perhaps adoption is the way to look.
About 4 months to fill out the paperwork and 6 months to get assigned a baby. We adopted from China.
We started around 23, but by 30 it was clear things weren’t going to happen naturally. We did IVF once at 30, and it didn’t take. Tried again at 31 and it did. Daughter was born just before my 32nd birthday.
Took me 2 months at age 37, we weren’t having any luck whatsoever then we realized lube was the problem. We went to a different kind and were like bam preggo. Super disappointed too cuz I was enjoying practicing. No more practice after the baby is out. ☹️
Daughter was born when I was 29 yo, wanted number 2 in to 2 more years… yet it took 3 …. So we practiced and practiced for Son – till we got it right 😏
Cycling can lower a dude’s sperm count. And women are less likely to get pregnant while stressed. Go on a vacation away on ‘the week’ and try to just have fun with it.
Got ours bang on 40 after years of trying.
Ended up doing IVF
Don’t go by me. My wife got pregnant the first month of trying both times. We realized after getting pregnant with our second that maybe we need to do something about this because between my sperm and her welcoming uterus, there’s a high likelihood of having number three and number four if we aren’t careful. So I got snipped and she got her tubes tied.
Nothing wrong with getting your boys checked out and your wife’s hormones checked. But for the love of all that is holy, don’t call it a miracle from god. Because it isn’t. Being told that your wife has an almost zero chance of getting pregnant and then she does is a miracle. Medical science pointing out your wife has a hormone imbalance is not. Especially don’t stand up in front of a pre-Cana class and tell them it’s a miracle from god because you sought out hormone treatments. Or say that the natural method of watching her cycle worked out when your wife couldn’t get pregnant because of said hormonal imbalance. It makes you and your wife look like idiots while I’ll be in the back squirming in my seat until I blurt out you’re both idiots that sought science to help out with a problem via birth control. Then I’ll get escorted out of pre-Cana and have to formerly apologize to the Catholic Church that I didn’t mean to call you idiots.
It took us over two years and that was with tracking ovulation and having lots of sex. We were discussing how far we wanted to go to conceive. We agreed we’d investigate and see if the issue was anything minor but wanted to stop short of IVF.
My wife’s friend is 40 and just got pregnant after 10+ years of no contraception. She just stopped taking birth control but wasn’t consistent with tracking ovulation and finally it happened. Crazy it took 10 years.
It took somewhere between a year and 18 months. It can take a while…
Tried a couple of times a d it worked the second time. I was 35, and she was 32.
Maybe a myth, but she had read somewhere and lied on her back with legs resting up high against a wall after the attempt for 5 minutes or so.
Again, that might appear on the next episode of mythbusters, but I think it helped as we were very worried because of our ages.
Some of these comments are wild.
If you want to get pregnant try getting pregnant everyday. No concern of ‘old sperm’ if you make a fresh deposit every day. And see the specialists before you get older and desperate. Waiting until you’re older to see a specialist makes their job harder.
Been 6 years and only an ectopic pregnancy to show for it
On average it takes about a year with big swings in both directions.
My wife and I started trying when I was 31 and she was 29. It took us three years and a lot of grief to get our first daughter, then two more years to get our second. We of course love them both and are extremely thankful, but without modern medicine and science we likely couldn’t have had kids. We know other couples who went through the same thing, and some who weren’t successful.
She had PCOS and the problem wasn’t getting pregnant, it was staying pregnant. We honestly have no idea how many times the process started and failed, but it was a lot.
You guys need to be fit. It’s the biggest factor in fertility.
My wife was 35 I was 40,it took a bit over a year. Diet is important, egg and sperm fertility drop over 30. Avoid plastics and junk food consult a fertility specialist. Keepin mind some drs don’t know about the latest studies involving bpas and phthalates effect on fertility – it’s bad. Make sure your all mapping out your lady’s cycle and copulation around ovulation.
Six years. The questions (When you gonna have kids? Have you tried?) stung. The frustrations were monthly.
Fertility specialists were not common then. My wife drove 2 hours every other day for a month for treatments for endometriosis. Then hormone therapy. After several rounds, we conceived. I was 36.
This was the most challenging time in our marriage.
Been there done that. Mine are 17 and 19.
In our case my wife has pcos. Most common fertility issue for women iirc. If your wife’s periods are irregular, her Aunt Flo is a bitch when she does make an appearance, and or if she feels angry hungry after eating a full meal, she may have it. And fyi: we have a friend who also has pcos. She’s a fertile Myrtle. Her husband just has to think about looking at her and she’s preggers again. They’ve got five. 😳
It’s a hormone issue. Normally estrogen and progesterone flip flop during the cycle. Pcos they flatline high/low. I’m forgetting a whole bunch. I just remember my wife’s obgyn had studied it a lot. It was her jam.
In our case: once we found out what it was we went through progressive treatments. Got to the point where we were going to do clomid injections. They do a challenge test first, double dose to see reaction. I got trained on how to do it. We were told she wouldn’t get pregnant that month – doubling affects hormones etc etc. We were waiting for her to cycle. And waiting. 2 weeks past doctor calls and says, just for kicks, take the pregnancy test. Boom.
We had a miscarriage between 1 & 2. Lights on but no one home. Really early on. Anyways second time we were trying and trying. Did intra uterine insinuation a couple times. Nothing happened. My wife said screw this noise, we’re going to stop. She would shed some weight then we’d start back up.
Aunt Flo decided to forgot to show up for 9 months after that. 🤷🏼♂️
Yeah. Do the tests. Don’t get too stressed.
My wife was 31 when our first was born. I was almost 30.
Literally the first try. She had mentioned that it might take some time after switching off BC….it did not.
Same went for our daughter 2.5yrs later. She was on some witchcraft on how to have a girl. Pretty much hit it early in the cycle, XX chromes are more resilient. Boom, pregnant with our daughter.
I got my wife pregnant a few times. I COULDN’T during the two years when i was heavily into endurance sports – running marathon distances and riding 30-100 miles on my road bike at a time. I had no trouble getting her pregnant both before and after this period of time.
I don’t know how seriously you’re running and cycling but it’s possible to overdo it. Anecdotally speaking
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