When they’re actively open to connect and learn about a new person rather than sticking to chat to the people they know. Some of my best conversations have been with friends of friends who I never met again.
They let me finish my sentences, ask follow-up questions, seem interested in ME. Not just moving the discussion back to themselves. Smiling. Caring for others.
They make eye contact without walls up – it helps you identify the genuine people just doing their best in life, despite their mistakes. Even those who normally don’t make eye contact will if they know the other person is being genuine.
They give me a hug when they introduce themselves or they atleast reciprocate my hug because I like to hug. it helps me feel their energy on a deeper level
A genuinely warm demeanor. I’m most comfortable with people who seem like they are comfortable with me even though I myself do not give off comforting vibes.
The green flag here is that if someone is comfortable in the presence of someone a bit unconventional and off putting, then they are more likely to be the type of person who cares more about what’s beneath the exterior.
I absolutely love parental type people, male or female who make everybody feel protected and loved in their presence.
Just a genuine soft vibe. They’re super mindful, attentive with you and genuinely want to know you. They understand your dry humour or witty banters instantly and even take it a step ahead!
Basically a person who is at ease with themselves AND me.
The biggest green flag I can notice in a person is a mutual ability to achieve nonverbal communication. If we can understand each other without a word, we’ll probably be friends
They’re down to earth and honest. Willingly to admit to things most people shy away from or like to pretend they don’t or wouldn’t do. I’m like that myself, and I value it in others. I have a really good friend who is 15 years older than me but as soon as I met her I KNEW she was my kind of person. I’m 35, she’s 50.
They ask you questions about yourself and it doesn’t feel like they’re waiting for you to stop talking before immediately relating your responses to themselves and their own experiences.
Say you’re walking with them in a group and you have to tie your shoe. If they stay behind and wait for you, even if others keep walking, they’re a real one.
When they info-dump about something they like and seem really happy to talk about it, while still trying to make the conversation engaging. Especially if they cut the small talk or keep it short.
When someone asks questions back, it shows they’re interested. It’s such a small thing, but it shows they’re actually listening and not just waiting for their turn to talk.
I like to observe people when they are speaking with others. I look at them to assess if they are actively listening or simply waiting to talk about themselves.
When conversation flows easily right away, I have autism and if I don’t feel like I “click” with a person right away then it’s really difficult for me to maintain interest.
They have humor, I met a guy in my class and we literally started cracking up as soon as we started talking bc we matched each others humor and I loveee when that happens
I’m a timid guy and I grew up in the South in the 80s where the culture was very hierarchical and authoritarian. I got bullied a lot, and constantly “put in my place”. If you weren’t aggressive and willing to be violent, you were walked all over.
To this day, men that have any kind of aggressive or dominant energy get my hackles up instantly.
But every now and then I meet a guy who should trigger that in me: someone who’s physically large and confident and could throw down if they wanted. But, somehow, they give off this energy of being safe, like a big teddy bear. It’s like all of their strength exists to be protective and not harmful.
Every time I’ve met a guy like that, they’ve turned out to be wonderful, gentle people. It’s crazy because I will make that judgement about them within seconds of meeting them, but I’ve yet to be wrong.
A sincere, genuine smile as they are walking up, arriving. No phone out. Introduction by name. Engaging, attentive, courteous and considerate of others around us, like coworkers, wait staff, friends, etc. Phone put away.
I remember the first time I met my now partner was a year before we started dating, the thing that stood out to me was he noticed I wasn’t involved in the conversation asked me how I was doing and got me involved in the group conversation
When we can belly laugh the first time we meet. I’ve had good relationships with people can laugh hard with a stranger. It’s like a form of trust or a bond that happens immediately. I love getting to know people that way.
Many things like eye contact, using names and titles, or asking personal questions are cultural and familial. The green flags are harder to pin down, but I do sense them. Genuineness, listening, and politeness in the sense of being humble, considerate, caring.
They don’t care how they’re perceived, they are just interested in being present. Nothing more exhausting then talking with somebody who’s only passion and interest is their own appearance.
Comments
They get up to talk to you, they don’t keep sitting down. Also not being incredibly formal, and typically smiling 🙂
Their positive energy. Actually being interested in what you say, eye contact and asking you questions about yourself.
idk how to explain it, but kind eyes.
Humanizing behaviours such as clumsiness, innocent word slips, & facial expressions. Helps weed out the NPC’s.
A kind aura. Doesn’t matter their exterior appearance or the mask they wear. You just feel their spirit.
A “yes and” person, someone who adds to what you’re saying, natural communicator and seems at ease with themselves >>. Thats aspirational to me.
When they’re actively open to connect and learn about a new person rather than sticking to chat to the people they know. Some of my best conversations have been with friends of friends who I never met again.
Openness and acceptance.
Well mannered
If my pets like them!
For me is when someone listens attentively and asks thoughtful questions, it shows they genuinely care about connecting.
They love animals
They have boundaries
Sense of humor
They make eye contact and are genuinely interested in the conversation
Due to past experience, I notice unfocused eyes. I associate it with some kind of psychological issue. Can’t help it and I don’t mean to either.
ask stuff about me
When someone actually listens instead of just waiting for their turn to talk, that’s rare and feels genuinely respectful.
They actively listen and show genuine kindness- not just to me, but to everyone.
They are okay with me being silent most of the time.
Do they look me in the eyes (non-aggressively).
They let me finish my sentences, ask follow-up questions, seem interested in ME. Not just moving the discussion back to themselves. Smiling. Caring for others.
genuine interest in conversation and the courtesy of full attention
Sense of humor!
They make eye contact without walls up – it helps you identify the genuine people just doing their best in life, despite their mistakes. Even those who normally don’t make eye contact will if they know the other person is being genuine.
When they start a conversation that’s start with asking my point of view of sa ganito ganyan.
if it’s at a bar, coffee house, restaurant, etc. if they’re polite and considerate to the wait staff.
Respectful to the new person, doesn’t interrupt you, includes you in the conversation.
Has true human reactions to things. Snorts when laughing, stumbles over words, is being an actual person and not perfomative.
Kindness. Treating people who can’t help you or pay you back with respect!
When work doesn’t come up at all in the conversation!
They give me a hug when they introduce themselves or they atleast reciprocate my hug because I like to hug. it helps me feel their energy on a deeper level
Good with animals
Warmth, kindness, a sense of humour… I actively look for them 🥰
An easy smile/easy to laugh (sincerely).
The lack of pretension, ego or the typical neurotypical fake nice bullshit that makes 90% of people a chore to interact with.
Courteousness. If you can’t show the minimum amount of respect owed a stranger, you’re probably not my kinda person.
when they say nice stuff about people who aren’t there (bonus points for people they’re not friends with).
They talk like a real person and not a corporate shill.
Doesn’t talk more than 50% of the time
They give you a little space.
Mild self-deprecation.
Their laugh.
Eyes, smile and if they don’t talk just about themselves
They don’t talk much.
Erdo waaaaaaaahhhn
Depends on person A’s ideals. If Person A is a total jerk, Person B can be the best in the world to them and both of them are garbage to C-Z.
They say something surprising.
Seeming genuinely interested in what other people have to say
A genuinely warm demeanor. I’m most comfortable with people who seem like they are comfortable with me even though I myself do not give off comforting vibes.
The green flag here is that if someone is comfortable in the presence of someone a bit unconventional and off putting, then they are more likely to be the type of person who cares more about what’s beneath the exterior.
I absolutely love parental type people, male or female who make everybody feel protected and loved in their presence.
Just a genuine soft vibe. They’re super mindful, attentive with you and genuinely want to know you. They understand your dry humour or witty banters instantly and even take it a step ahead!
Basically a person who is at ease with themselves AND me.
Humility in the non self destructive kind of way
A good, funny attitude
The biggest green flag I can notice in a person is a mutual ability to achieve nonverbal communication. If we can understand each other without a word, we’ll probably be friends
When they pay attention to what you’re saying. Also immediately take to people who laugh and are joyful
They’re down to earth and honest. Willingly to admit to things most people shy away from or like to pretend they don’t or wouldn’t do. I’m like that myself, and I value it in others. I have a really good friend who is 15 years older than me but as soon as I met her I KNEW she was my kind of person. I’m 35, she’s 50.
If they get the random ass reference on whatever t-shirt I am wearing. Examples:
Grey Matter
University of American Somoa Law School (go land crabs!)
Laverne’s Pies (Tires Fixed Also)
Big Mountain Fudge Cake
Polybius
Charlie Kelly Bird Law
Monster Joe’s Truck and Tow
etc.
Active listening
An ability to admit when they are wrong.
If they treat Servers, retail workers, Animals and/or Children with kindness
They ask you questions about yourself and it doesn’t feel like they’re waiting for you to stop talking before immediately relating your responses to themselves and their own experiences.
When someone ensures they’re pronouncing your name correctly upon meeting you
They are kind to all the people around them, especially service industry folks.
Challenger in league.
Pretty rocks in their pockets
Say you’re walking with them in a group and you have to tie your shoe. If they stay behind and wait for you, even if others keep walking, they’re a real one.
Very specific scenario but still
When they info-dump about something they like and seem really happy to talk about it, while still trying to make the conversation engaging. Especially if they cut the small talk or keep it short.
When they treat animals with kindness, or animals instinctually like them.
Like Bill Murray said: “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.”
When I ask them a generic “getting to know you” question, they ask the same question back instead of monologuing on for the est of the conversation.
trauma dumping with eachother tbh
When I wave hello and their face suddenly relaxes into a smile, i feel like I met a friend
A calm demeanor, soft smile and genuine introduction.
When you start talking to someone in a group and they open the circle for you to stand with the group
If they support the same teams/clubs.
Doesn’t interrupt me when I’m speaking, makes the right facial expression when I’m saying something, and expressing empathy when it’s appropriate.
If we are somewhere that involves a cashier, it’s how they speak to them or anybody in the service industry.
Open-minded, unassuming curiosity
Attentive listening skills. I pay attention when someone speaks and a real big green flag is when someone does the same.
You can almost immediately tell by the eye contact and attention they give you while telling your name and where you’re from.
Manners.
A Green Flag is if my dog likes that person.
“If my dog doesn’t like you, I can’t trust you…”
When they “get it” if you know what I mean.
Not asking for nudes or steering the convo toward sexual shit within the first 3 days.
They’re not wearing a maga hat
Not treating other people like they are “NPCs.”
The whole idea that some people are is just cringe.
Sense of humor, self deprecating, humble
Confidence, interest in me as a person, asking leading questions.
A quick sense of humor tells me a lot about a person. I associate it with intelligence, a sense of the absurd, and confidence.
Animals love them
When someone asks questions back, it shows they’re interested. It’s such a small thing, but it shows they’re actually listening and not just waiting for their turn to talk.
I like to observe people when they are speaking with others. I look at them to assess if they are actively listening or simply waiting to talk about themselves.
Intelligence/curiosity/love of learning + kind eyes for the win!
They check to ensure they are saying your name correctly.
That’s someone with respect.
Mutual attraction.
Good sense of humor. Easy to laugh.
When conversation flows easily right away, I have autism and if I don’t feel like I “click” with a person right away then it’s really difficult for me to maintain interest.
They have humor, I met a guy in my class and we literally started cracking up as soon as we started talking bc we matched each others humor and I loveee when that happens
Good manners
I’m a timid guy and I grew up in the South in the 80s where the culture was very hierarchical and authoritarian. I got bullied a lot, and constantly “put in my place”. If you weren’t aggressive and willing to be violent, you were walked all over.
To this day, men that have any kind of aggressive or dominant energy get my hackles up instantly.
But every now and then I meet a guy who should trigger that in me: someone who’s physically large and confident and could throw down if they wanted. But, somehow, they give off this energy of being safe, like a big teddy bear. It’s like all of their strength exists to be protective and not harmful.
Every time I’ve met a guy like that, they’ve turned out to be wonderful, gentle people. It’s crazy because I will make that judgement about them within seconds of meeting them, but I’ve yet to be wrong.
A sincere, genuine smile as they are walking up, arriving. No phone out. Introduction by name. Engaging, attentive, courteous and considerate of others around us, like coworkers, wait staff, friends, etc. Phone put away.
They ask for my consent before doing the real kinky stuff in public
Love to read, I’m sorry but I notice a lot of things when someone doesn’t read.
They ask me questions about me. It’s so fucking simple.
Admitting to personal faults/flaws in any way, and still exuding some confidence.
If someone gets interrupted and they drop a “You didn’t get to finish, what were you saying earlier?”.
I remember the first time I met my now partner was a year before we started dating, the thing that stood out to me was he noticed I wasn’t involved in the conversation asked me how I was doing and got me involved in the group conversation
Make eye contact and no BS actually cares or asks about your life or job.
When we can belly laugh the first time we meet. I’ve had good relationships with people can laugh hard with a stranger. It’s like a form of trust or a bond that happens immediately. I love getting to know people that way.
Many things like eye contact, using names and titles, or asking personal questions are cultural and familial. The green flags are harder to pin down, but I do sense them. Genuineness, listening, and politeness in the sense of being humble, considerate, caring.
I have a kid from a previous relationship.
When he didn’t ignore my kid, treated him like a person who mattered (read: NOT like a parent right away), and gave him a hug, too.
People who already know that the police exist to protect capital and not public safety.
They give eye contact to everyone in the group
That they have good manners
Someone who is humble and a little self effacing
Nice to animals
They don’t care how they’re perceived, they are just interested in being present. Nothing more exhausting then talking with somebody who’s only passion and interest is their own appearance.
When someone talks more than me!! knows how to keep a conversation going