Some context for later. My parents are poly and their partners family has lived with us for 6 years now. I’m 21 and my younger siblings are 18 and the parents are throwing a combined party. Their party isn’t huge and extravagant. The parents are just taking the family and a couple of both siblings friends to an adult fun park then we’re going to have cake and ice cream at home. It’ll be around 12-15 people going and their spending about $300 on it.
I’m not mad about any of that though. What I’m mad about is the fact that I was once told $100 was too expensive.(for just family, 10 people) I’m mad that on my 18th i didn’t get a “happy birthday” until 2 pm from a card that a church sent and I hadn’t been to that church for 3+ years at that time. I’m mad that they didn’t get me any presents so I asked if I could just not do any chores for the day, just one day, and I was told that wouldn’t be fair to the other kids. They went to Walmart and spent $10 on a set of “collector” plastic coke brand cups, they also bought two kids $50 ear buds and another two whole outfits that were $20 a piece. I’m mad that I had to bake my own cake from a box mix that they forgot we had because they didn’t get me one. And I’m mad that they didn’t even get me ice cream. My mom always told me she would make sure I would have cake and ice cream on my birthday but if didn’t bake my own cake I wouldn’t have had either.
I’m so mad that I didn’t get anything but my sibling are getting everything. And I’m mad that I’m angry at them because they deserve a nice birthday
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Same. Siblings got birthdays, I didn’t. It’s not jealousy. It’s neglect. You’re right to be mad.
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Tell me about it. My mom was a poor single mom when I was growing up, now she’s not rich, but dual very upper middle class incomes + retirement benefits so my little sister gets Disney and beach trips and cruises and shit seemingly every month or so, participates in tons of extra curricular stuff cause mom has more time and such.
It just is what it is. I was raised the way I was so that I could become the person I am today, and I’m okay with that because I’m a good person who appreciates things (not that my sister is a bad unappreciative person, mind you).
I’m sorry that happened to you. Carry on with life and remember what you’ve learned about showing the people you love that you care about them. You can’t change who or how people are but you can learn from it and surround yourself with people that have values more similar to yours.
You know the wonderful thing about being an adult? We can throw our own birthday parties. You know the really, really wonderful thing about being an adult in the age of social media? We can throw our own birthday parties and blast them out on social media while saying petty things like, “FINALLY ALLOWED TO CELEBRATE ME!” OR “LOOK AT ME NOT BEING FORCED TO CLEAN CRAP ON MY BD!” OR #BIRTHDAYPROMISESFORGOTTEN with a picture of you at the ice cream aisle at the store with a sad face.
Am I petty? Yes. Do I care? No. No I do not.
And then they wonder why their kids won’t speak to them after they’ve grown up.
I’m so sorry. I have found that things like this really hurt. But they also shape us into remarkable human beings. Because we don’t just have sympathy for others, we actually can empathize with their pain. Our pain has made us strong to lend a helping hand to those who need it. But it has also allowed us to give grace to those less considerate. Thank you for sharing your story, OP. May He bless and keep you.
Just want you to know, you are worthy and you do matter. I’m sorry it’s turned out the way it has for you, but it can’t rain all the time.
I totally get it. My mother let her husband kick me out when I was 13 because he didn’t like me so I went to live with my dad and stepmother. That was the end of my mom really raising me at all and definitely the end of her celebrating my birthday with more than a phone call.
Last year we kicked out her piece of shit husband after he did some shit so I became more involved to try and help her manage things like money and my little siblings. She spent $300 on a waterpark birthday party for my little sister despite not having a job. She never did anything like that for me even before she let me get kicked out.
Some people are shitty parents and it’s not fucking fair. But I’m 28 now and my birthdays are planned with my friends to do whatever I want. They’re spent with people that care about me and who show me that every day. You’re an adult now. Go find those people. Those are the people you want around.
Your parents are very neglectful towards you, I’m sorry they’ve done that to you.