I fucked up by confessing to my sweet guy friend and now he won’t even look at me in school and avoids me. I told him how I felt about him as he was the one who gave me the realisation that my ex was not the one so I had some emotional attachment to him. Plus, he was the first proper guy friend I had in 2 years due to my controlling ex.
Just a few days ago we would smile and wave to each other whenever we passed by.. exactly 2 weeks ago we were smoking in his room while talking about everything and anything. I wish I could reverse time back lol. We weren’t even that close so I’m just feeling a sense of limerence now. I could tell he was uncomfortable with it as well. Just wanted to confess because this rejection has been eating me up 🙁
Edit: he’s only replying me, not texting anymore. guess this could be an ‘ick’ for me to get over him
Comments
U did nothing wrong, better to be honest than lie
He is probably still processing, it’s hard for a guy to come from friends to more than zone
He probably doesn’t feel the same about you. Unfortunately, this may have been too awkward for him on top of the pressure. Give him time and let him come to you when he feels ready to. You aren’t a bad person, but you should take the time to be by yourself and work on your mental health before pursuing a relationship with anybody, period.
I understand how you feel though, after a shitty relationship, it’s easy to feel attached immediately to the first guy that’s decent to you as a friend…it’s because you wanted to be treated decently while in a relationship and you didnt get that, now you crave it to the point where you’re on the verge of ruining a friendship. You need to focus on yourself, your mental health, and work on being by yourself for a while. Your friend will talk when he’s ready, don’t pester him, as much as your anxiety will try to override you in this situation, just let him come to you. Once he speaks to you, respect whatever boundary he puts in place and listen to how he feels.
Sorry this happened to you. But thanks for a new vocabulary word, limerence.
I wish I was a dumb kid again and these were my problems. Now I have bills and people sucking my energy away from me.
Enjoy this time. Soon it’ll be the adult world haha. Pin this for 15 years time. I know I’ll get downvoted probably, but it’s facts
You can’t be friends with people you have feelings for! It’s not fair on either of you!
It can be hard to be on the receiving end of unrequited affection. I have never successfully maintained a friendship when the other person caught feelings. They always were either biding their time for me to realize I loved them back, or they genuinely thought they could get over it but over time negative feelings started building up. If you’ve experienced being the receiver before then you generally try to avoid it. You’re put in an uncomfortable position where you either need to explicitly shut them down or to push them away. Every single time I have done this it has been because I didn’t want to turn into the bad guy by hurting their feelings.
It sounds like you guys are young, in which case he’s probably pushing you away. In his defense, it’s really hard to accept the role of telling someone you just don’t like them and that you think both of you would be better off with a clean break. Doubly so because it sounds like he’s aware of the fact that you have some baggage and there’s a solid chance he’s looking out for you because he knows that you’re having a reaction to that baggage, not necessarily that you’re ready for a new relationship.
When I was younger and friend of mine confessed to me. I avoided her for a day or two but then I let her down gently. It was awkward for a few weeks but we went back to being friends and are still friends to this day.
As someone way past school and about to hit my 30s you did the RIGHT thing. It someone cant be your friend when feelings happen they arent worth the friendship.
Not that they need time and communicate that but when they ignore you and act like you dont exist you dodged a bullet 100%.
Let it hurt, let it be shitty but dont live in that. Remember there are other men out there that will treat you like the sun shines out your ass and THIS feeling will be a distant memory
Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days…