I’m from Mexico and I hate my life and this fucking country.
Since I was a child I could never fit into the sick Mexican society in which taking advantage of others is rewarded, in which being a good person is a punishment in your life and in which You can’t leave your house without knowing if you’ll come back with your cell phone, your money or alive.
I was never able to have friends because I was never interested in soccer, talking about porn with other or talk about the weekend parties which is the most common topic of conversation among Mexicans.
When I was 13 years old, I believed that if I studied hard and got good grades, my life would improve. My reality check came when I entered university, they only needed a grade of 8 or 7 and an exam to be able to enter. I realized that I wasted my adolescence on exams and getting good grades.
I never went out partying, I never met any friends and I never had any romantic relationship.
I have always loved music, drawing and learning new languages but I will never be good enough at any of my passions. I quit music, I stopped drawing and I could never learn Korean even though I studied for two years.
I entered a career that I did not like because I did not want to disappoint my parents and I studied it for 2 years.
Everything was the same with my life those two years. Eventually I abandoned my career and now I’m trying to get into another university. But I’m not even sure if it’s what I wanted.
Why am I a failure? Why am I not good at anything? Why does it seem like everyone is happier than me? Why can’t I be happy?
Sorry for my horrible translated English.
Comments
Your English is magnificent. Also, you’re overthinking. It’s time to choose to love yourself.
Pobrecita, no estes triste. Todo el mundo pasa por momentos dificiles. Estaras bien. Estoy orando por ti.
You will find your tribe. It takes time.
Do what you love and things will change
Best of luck ❤️
Stop looking at other peoples lives, it’s not your life , it doesn’t matter. Comparison will always make you depressed. No one is better than you, just different. you hate your life because it is too small for you, so make it bigger. forget the “good enough” part about your passions, there’s no such thing. You can keep practicing and you can learn and pursue what ever you want. It takes time to develop skill, you have to enjoy the process also, life is not just the end results. You didn’t miss anything by not partying. It was worth it to study hard. You can change careers. You can still have fun and meet new people. You have time. You are not a failure. Let go of the self hate.
Your environment sounds rough and stressful. I’m sorry about that. Maybe you can work towards what it would look like to try to move, what it would take, what the steps would be. It’s not impossible as long as you’re still alive .
You don’t have to be like the bad people in society. You can still be a good person with street smarts. Bad people get ahead all over the world, forget them. Protect your self and focus on You.
Hello. I’ve been in a similar situation where I didn’t fit it in with my own people. I studied very hard during secondary school so I can study abroad. I also chose a specific degree for the sake of my parents’ happiness and studied it for two years and eventually abandoned it.
When I left my family and so called hometown for university at 18/19 years old in another country, that’s when my life completely changed. All I had was myself. Learned how to be independent as I lived by myself for the first few years. I worked part time while studying and I learned how to cook and clean up my accommodation. I also got into my first actual flings, relationships and heartbreaks etc.
If you have the opportunity to get out of your city, your country, then do it. Do it via getting accepted abroad to study. Financially wise, earn up in the meantime and find out what financial supports you can get from your government if you study abroad. You said you studied hard and had good grades, it’s a big shot but if you can do scholarships, do it. Sponsored apprenticeships? Do it. Let this be your motivation to get out and see the world.
I am now 26 years old in a foreign land who has never been happier after I left my own little world back home. That was the best decision I have ever made. I felt me. I became me. I found me.
Good luck to you. You sound like my old self :))
You can do this!
Never stop trying to make real friends, you don’t need to share every single interest with someone to be real friends. You don’t need to share any interests, technically. You just need to enjoy each other’s company.
Plus, do everything in your power to experience everything you wanted to in the past, whether it’s visiting places to eat good food and rink, reading novels, playing video games, traveling, etc.
Every country sucks right now, that’s just where the planet is right now. Don’t be so hard on yourself! Life is for living, and it’s not too late to start
Sounds to me like you’re good at a lot of things, you’ve just lost your passion and that’s sad. If you can light that fire and be passionate again then you might be able to set yourself back on a road of self love and acceptance.
There is a song that was written especially for this. It’s called “everyone hurts” by REM I think. You haven’t hit your stride yet. So far your basing everything on what others expect of you. Sometimes you need to step away from the situation figure what you want and go for it. People will try to discourage you yes but its up to you if they are right or you can prove them wrong. But there are always others that will help out and assist you along the way because they know you can succeed.
People say “do what you love” but that’s shit advice, really. You need to figure out what you can tolerate doing in exchange for enough money to actually live and enjoy your life when you’re not at work.
I’m in my forties and get zero use from work. It doesn’t inspire me, I take zero pride in my job, I get no sense of self worth from how I earn money. All I want is money for time. I find it a helpful way to look at things since work itself (unless you’re saving lives) is almost entirely meaningless.
I’m so sorry that things are like that for you. I always wondered what life was like for people in mexico. You seem like a wonderful person, and personally, I think you’re so much better than all those violence porn loving losers. You’re actually trying to do good things for yourself. If college isn’t for you, then do something that will make YOU happy. It’s your life, and it goes by so fast. Make sure you’re doing something that makes you feel alive!
If you ever need someone to talk to, I know I’m a stranger, but I’ll always lend an ear for you.
Also your english is great, I wish I could learn Spanish as good as you speak English!
Your English translation is fine. You’re not alone, and self deletion is definitely not the answer. You say you always loved “music, drawing and languages”, but you stopped because you will “never be good enough”. You don’t know that that’s true. You’ve made no effort to get to know other people who are into those things. The first thing that you need to change is your outlook on life. Yea, life is a bitch. It’s hard. Our generation is experiencing problems that past generations could never have dreamed of. The world seems to be falling apart. I could go on, but why? I’m the end, it’s all up to you. You must make an effort to meet people with similar interests. You can do it online, but I bet you could find people who like to draw and like music right in your area. The important thing is to try. It’s the key to everything. You have to finite and take what you want. Project confidence even if it’s fake. Fake it til you make it. I don’t know bro. But don’t do anything dumb. Take some chances and risks and go out and chase your dreams. You never know. Death is so final. Life… life is full of endless possibilities.
besides speaking Spanish and English, you got good grades, keep your spirits up in the University, be among the bests, and while working at that, start applying for jobs in EU. There is lots of open positions. lots of big companies, that hire straight from University at +70k€ per year as salary…
Check your heritage, maybe your eligible for a Spanish citizenship. Makes the way free for work in EU. If not, you might want to start your search there, or Germany and the adjacent countries.
Most jobs for University students are offered in English anyway. Try to get a trainee position while studying in Germany, its called “Werksstudent” (goes in-between the semesters)
And with the BS thats going on in the US of Assholes, EU will soon be much closer to Mexico and Canada….
With Canada EU almost has s free trade. Not sure about Mex.
Could also work though local representatives of companies like Karcher and such.
Keep at it!
You’re basing your opinion from what others have said about you. After reading your post, there is nothing wrong with you and you need to learn how to love yourself. If you do not love yourself, you never will believe others will love you. Start loving you
All that studying will pay off in the long term. You’ll be better at mastering new subjects, problem-solving, and many other skills
Im a Mexican who moved to Canada back in 1999. The things you describe about Mexico are 100% valid in Canada too. At least in Mexico there is good food, good weather and family.
Keep fighting, you’ve got this! Plus if you leave Mexico you will be part of the brain drain and get nothing out of it. I was called a Dirty Mexican by Canadian teachers. Even nice countries hate us, they cant stand our superior work ethic.
How are you a failure when you succeeded in your academic goals? You’re on your path and still molding it. Where you accomplished academically which gives an advantage others who seem happy may have failed. These feelings are just a sign to have balance in life. Arent there other nerds in college to befriend …
everything suck man you need to focus on youself and dont live for other im sure you gotta find something you love
I’m from Mexico too and I identify so much with your first 2 paragraphs!! I hate that culture too. But hey! You can make of your life something fun, interesting and rewarding. That’s what I’ve been doing and it works. I avoid news specially from Mexico, I’m committed to enjoy whatever I have and knowing the bad times are going to pass. They always do
You are not a failure. Not even close. The fact that you’re still here, still trying, still reflecting on what you want, shows incredible strength. Most people don’t even have the courage to question their path or start over like you’re doing. That’s not failure; that’s resilience.
Hold on to this if you can: that you are enough, just as you are. You don’t need to be the best at anything to deserve happiness. You don’t need to fit into a society that doesn’t feel like home. You’re allowed to feel lost, to start over, to chase what lights you up, even if it takes time. Happiness isn’t a destination you reach by checking off boxes, it’s in small moments, like listening to a song that hits you just right, sketching something silly, or even just getting through a tough day.
Change your environment
Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to be here either. The thing that gets me through is everyday I live my enemies lose.
Go see the world! Work or study in another country, try the erasmus programs with university come see Europe!
Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Study English and apply for asylum to the US for a fresh start. Good luck!