i have been a virgin my whole life for religious reasons but this year I kinda became less practising and decided to enter the dating world. I found a great guy. He is incredibly charming and makes me so happy. Making out was fine but then recently we tried having sex and his body honestly grossed me out. He is kind of out of shape and I realized I’m not at all physically attracted to him. I still love him but thinking of him sexually grosses me out. He did tell me he plans on losing weight but idek. We have been official for only a month and I feel awful even thinking about ending things.
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There is emotional compatibility and Physical compatibility. Usually if one or the other isn’t there is can really strain the relationship in the long term. You could work with him to help me get in better shape that’s always an option but that takes time an commitment on both your parts. If things persist it might be good to end things for both of you.
Encourage him to get back into shape. If he is a good guy, don’t miss out on him.
I can understand. Some people have qualities we love and qualities we don’t. If this is an icebreaker you can be subtle and be like hey! Let’s go on a hike or walk, without saying hey you’re fat or this and that. I trust you love him in some aspect, be a team! Help him work on it, don’t crush him. Because as a guy, if my girl told me hey your body grosses me out, id honestly give up. Just be subtle
Well how much do you love him? I’m guessing your young af like not even 25 so let me make this clear. You’re judging him on something he can control. You can literally motivate him and be a power couple and work him out. Go on a glow-ups Reddit or a before/after Reddit and see what people can turn into given enough time.
After a few months the novelty wears out anyway and the connection progresses to a spiritual one, hopefully. Not all get there and they are in unhappy marriage.
Try to start talking about the difficult things. Your Blame, hurt, shame.
Honestly dude if you’re “grossed out” by your supposed partner, then you oughta drop them.
People don’t deserve to be with someone who feels grossed out by them.
Not to say you’re a shitty person or anything, it just ain’t fair for either of you, but specially for him. Just imagine hearing the person who supposedly loves you telling you they are not attracted to you. Rough.
As he is your first. Do you really know what turns you on or not? Ate you turned on by models? Before making any hasty decision, make sure you know that “he” is the problem, and it’s not something on your side that causes the issue you would have with other men.
For example, you might only be turned on by supermodels, which might be unrealistic and something you need to work on. Maybe your have trauma or something else
This might be repulsive but learn a little about Jesus, doing what the flesh wants usually doesn’t lead to real fulfillment of your soul but maybe you’re too young to care. It’s much harder to overcome the flesh when you’re younger but I think it benefits us more to follow our spirits when the flesh pulls us the most. If the person gives you peace and joy in your heart, maybe just pray and specially ask the Holy Spirit about it and ask for the wisdom to understand why this person makes me feel so beautiful inside (which is what we all want in life at the end of the day) but not good in my flesh/body/sexually. Hope I said something useful here for you