I (16M )met my GF (16F) through a mutual friend. I asked her to give me her number. Time passed, and I decided to confess my feelings for her, and miraculously, she agreed to go out with me.
At first, everything was bliss, but at some point, she started getting a little jealous and controlling, to the point of having my real-time location, which was weird because I never gave her any indication that I was feeling unfaithful or that I was making her jealous with other women, but I didn’t think anything of it because I loved her.
Fast forward to today. By then, we’d been together for eight months, and we decided to take a break because I couldn’t stand her possessive jealousy. If I had to go out for an errand or a doctor’s appointment, she would always get upset and tell me to come back home.
We were separated for a month, and during that month, a friend, who I’ll call Jose (16M) , helped me get through that time. She texted me that she wanted to fix things, and I swear she’d already changed. At first, I was a little hesitant because the wound was still raw, so we decided to start over again, without any jealousy, or at least that’s what I thought.
We’d been dating for at least two months, which brings us to the present.
Last week, I added a long-time acquaintance, and we decided to chat and catch up.
At first, my girlfriend didn’t say anything to me, but on Sunday, she got jealous, and that’s when a small argument started. I told her that she had said she was going to stop being jealous and improve for us, but she, whether out of anger or jealousy, decided to drop the bombshell: “During the time we were separated, I decided to sleep with Jose.” At that moment, I felt my heart explode. Jose was one of my best friends. He helped me through the breakup, telling me everything would be okay and helping me heal little by little.
My stomach turned at the thought of them spending the night together and then talking to me as if nothing had happened. She tried to excuse herself by saying she was a little drunk, which was a lie because she herself confessed to me that they weren’t drunk.
From what he told me, he offered her a kiss and she played along. At that moment, I asked her to stop because I didn’t feel comfortable hearing that and I told her to leave my house. I didn’t want anything to do with her and José. Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I’ll be able to overcome this betrayal between them. She keeps sending me messages saying that she loves me, that I should forgive her and that we should talk, but I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive her. I told her that we were over and after that I’ve been ignoring her.
Tldr;My girlfriend slept with one of my best friends while we were apart, I broke it off but she wants to give it a second try.
Comments
Tell her she’s a piece of shit and move on with your life.
Take her back and you’ll get treated like a doormat.
Once a cheat, always a cheat.
Cut both of them out of your life and don’t look back. It will hurt for a while and you’ll be tempted to cave to one or both of them. Don’t. You deserve better. You got this.
Respect yourself and move on. You’ll never have the same level of trust. You deserve better
You are 16. I doubt you will leave her, no matter what we tell you.
If you want to be sane in your future and not have to be destroyed beyond repair, make a wise choice now.
Jose… Again, you guys are still young and wouldn’t know better, but knowing this early is healthier:
You do not want a friend like that. Could be an accident, but as a bro, you need a bro who would be upfront with you first.
Always.
Always.
You’re a minor, ditch the girl and fight your friend
I know its super tough to hear, but you are very young and at the beginning of your romantic life.
The emotions people feel at super heightened at your stage of life because its all novel and new, but also because hormones are firing in intense ways.
You will not get back to good with your former gf or jose. Take a long view! This too shall pass and in time they wont be anything but a bad memory.
Stay the course. Dont indulge her anymore. She needs to learn a lesson from this just like you have.
YOU WERE ON A BREAK!
Break up with her and your friend.
It doesn’t sound like it was great relationship before y’all broke up. I know this makes no sense in your mind, but you’re young and you have your whole life ahead of you. She was being emotionally manipulative by even tell you that. Almosy Like look what I do when we’re not together. You have no right to have authority over where you go and when, it’s gving red flags. Give yourself time to hurt, but this is the time of your life to date without obligations and find out what you truly like and what you’re compatible with. If you were my kid, I’d be silently praying you’d gave her the boot.
She did it intentionally to hurt you. She’s not worth your time or self respect. Jose is a shitty friend at best, a douchebag at worst. You deserve a better friend. You deserve a better girlfriend. Remember, you teach people how to treat you. The sooner you learn that and put that into practice, the sooner you have less “Jose”s and (hopefully EX) girlfriend types in your life.
don’t go back
you already did the hardest part—walking away
now stick to it
yeah, you were “on a break” technically
but that doesn’t erase intent
she chose someone close to you
he chose betrayal while pretending to support you
they both made moves that can’t be undone
this ain’t about one night or one mistake—it’s about what it says
about loyalty
about respect
about how little they valued your trust
you don’t rebuild from this—you move on from it
block them both
grieve it
then get serious about friends and partners who actually match your standards
you’re young, but this pain? it’s grown-man level
use it to level up—not to spiral
You’re 16 cut them both off. They’re not worth anything.
dump them and move on, you’re 16 go find better people to call your own
You are 16. Just dump them and live your life. You have your whole life ahead. Sure yall were on a break, but that’s still a line you don’t cross.