I have a hard time reaching an orgasm with my partner, in fact I’ve never had one with them. They are also my first sexual partner.
But honestly, I dont care? Like, i love the intimacy of it all more than anything else. I dont feel edged or frustrated after, i feel satisfied, even though i didnt orgasm.
I know they feel bad about not being able to get me off, but like, i really dont mind, its just the act itself that really makes me happy.
I dont really know how to word this as a question, but is it normal? I mean, from what ive heard and read from everone else, it doesnt seem normal, but like, idk man
Comments
I don’t think it is fine at all, talking about male.
Yes.
Honestly you should get comfortable by doing it to yourself first. And then when you’re ready you can incorporate it into your sexual activities. Just penetration doesn’t make a girl orgasm (unless you’re really lucky). You’ll need clit stimulation. I definitely recommend trying it! Of course sex is still amazing without it but it becomes 10 times better, having an orgasm is a top teir feeling. I’m sure you’ll experience it one day 🙂
As long as you’re happy, it’s fine.
If you feel like you would enjoy it, then work towards it together.
Normal? Yes. Common? Probably more common than one thinks. If it bothers your partner, thought, that is worth talking it through. Cause of course your partner wants to make you feel good, and orgasms are widely associated with feeling good. Maybe there is something you know about your body that they don’t, maybe it is a head thing and turning of the lights might help. Even if you don’t mind, it might be worth the effort for your partner.
Well, it’s not normal in my opinion even though it’s fine for you cause it may hurt your partner if your partner starts to think he/she underperforms in bed
My wife doesn’t mind. In fact she stops me when I try to make her
Yes, it’s normal, and honestly mature of you to accept that. Sex is about a lot more than just getting yourself off.
It is absolutely normal to orgasm. It’s absolutely normal not to orgasm. Let your partner know that you’re satisfied with and enjoy your intimacy. don’t worry about orgasm, just enjoy it 💞
As a male. This does shatter a man confidence after a while… its just the way we are..
But if you happy, just make sure he know you dont mind..
I don’t know i always make sure my gf gets atleast 1 orgasm not to brag but i’m the first one who made her orgasm. But back to topic if you think it’s fine and don’t have issues w it tell him and just have a nice time.
Yes. Orgasms are nice but they’re not the main goal of sex for me. I just love having sex with my partner and that can satisfy me even if I don’t orgasm.
Sex isn’t always just to get off- like it can be but I never has to be. I had a long day, knowing I’d most likley not be able to cum and still had intercourse with my bf just to feel extra loved and cared for. There doesn’t need to be an end goal. It is perfectly OK to not need or want an orgasm every time.
Have you ever orgasmed yourself?
For a lot of women they need to be in the proper headspace to orgasm and it sounds like you have a lot of anxiety around the topic which may make it difficult to relax enough to allow you to orgasm.
It’s fine if you don’t orgasm during sex, but there are enough threads on r/twoxsex (assumed your a woman) showing the excitement orgasming can do for intimacy, self knowledge and chemistry for relationships.
Ask him to lend a hand and bring you to orgasm
As long as you are having fun you are doing it right
You do you.
Is it common? Yes, for sure, but I believe it’s not normal. I’m 32 and just a few months ago I found out what orgasm is!!! I’ve been married for over 10 years so far and I DID believe it’s ok not to have it, actually I didn’t really know anything about it, I thought everyone lives like this, not having it, and I didn’t let my husband do anything “wrong”, why? Because I was too stupid, embarrassed by everything (vibrators, porn, toys etc) but now NO, I’d never get back to that time after having it once!!!! I have no rights to say what is right and what is wrong, just want you to know it’s kinda important and better try something to help you get there rather than just being okay now and maybe regret not dealing it somehow in the future
yes!! it’s not talked about enough!! orgasm is not equivalent to a good time and vice versa!
maint thing is your happy and satisfied with whatever you do, thats the main thing. i think for a bloke its all about that though and thats why its easier for us to reach that point. If you ever feel like the big O is sumfin u want try foreplay as penetration is notoriously difficult to orgasm by. super normal to not o by pen.
It’s nothing to be upset about but something you will eventually miss out on.
Physical chemistry with a partner is super important. If you don’t think so, you just haven’t had it.
You don’t say you if you are male or female.
If male, and your past orgasms have been um, of the manual variety, it’s not uncommon to not click 100% with your first partner immediately.
After a time, or several times really, you’ll get in sync with your new environment.
The important thing is that they are getting off, which can be inspiring, if you know what I mean.
They say it’s common… Sex is the activity and orgasm is tge pleasure… It’s like eating food. Sometimes we feel happy and fulfilled if the food is good. Sometimes, food may not be good. But, we choose to eat since we are hungry. So, this can be fine too..
Yes 🤷♀️
It depends. Orgasms are great but the buildup to it is great too.
As a 52yo male, I feel too many are too focused on the O. Of course the O can be great and I personally wouldn’t want to be without it every time, but there are times when it’s just too much work and the pleasure of contact and touching is great and enough by itself. I’m a big fan of taking the pressure off, and just enjoying the moment.
Quit worrying about being normal and worry about being whatever you are. Have you seen the world we live in? Normal sucks.
Yes completely fine. Sex isn’t just about orgasms or penetration. Some people orgasm is just an extra thing that sometimes happens, some people can’t feel satisfied without it and others enjoy actively being denied orgasm.
As long as you are an adult in a safe relationship and everything you are doing is legal and consensual nothing else really matters.
Yesn’t
I can understand that u feel satisfied, but as a man, we want to make our girl orgasm. First girl I dated I couldn’t make her orgasm from penetration alone. So, I just started to eat her out. Problem solved.
Pro tip, buy a dildo and see if u can make urself cum from penetration alone, if you can, use his tool to get the same job done. But you need to know what u like before u can teach someone this. Then it’s just a matter of experimenting. Maybe it’s not even a physical thing, maybe it’s psychological.
For the sake of his ego, don’t get a dildo bigger than him, that will crush him.
As long as you are both satisfied, yes.
Sometimes I don’t reach climax and sometimes she doesn’t but we both love pleasing each other so it works i what ever we are doing
I don’t believe so.
Do what makes you happy.
But do you orgasm when you masturbate? If so, I’d highly recommend just literally showing your partner what gets you off and explaining it to them and having them essentially practice.
If you’re happy who cares but I feel like you’re missing out tbh. Also if it makes him feel bad (understandably) you can work on it together
I don’t know if it is normal not to have orgasms on a frequent basis. As a man, I would feel inadequate if I didn’t give my spouse an orgasm more often than not. While orgasms aren’t the be all end all, they do factor in.
Yes, but I stopped being ok with it, if he gets to, I do as well, especially since men don’t seem to give a shit if I do anyways
I normally do not orgasm during normal sex, and while it is frustrating sometimes on both our parts, as long as we are open and willing to work on what our partner needs and wants, it’s fine.
First off , if you are happy feel satisfied , then that is perfectly fine . You need not worry or put undue energy in to solving something that is not a problem for you.
If you decide you feel different and would like to achieve orgasm with your partner , it is likely fixable but would require some work and open-mindedness from you and your partner .
How do you fix this ? Start with how and when you are able to orgasm.
Can you orgasm by yourself ?
If yes:
Do you prefer clitoral stimulation / penetration or both to achieve orgasm? Do you use a hand or a vibrator / other sex toy . Start by incorporating your masturbation practice into partnered sex. This is the piece that requires open-mindedness . Unfortunately , many partners ( especially men ) feel threatened by sharing space with a toy but it can be the golden ticket . As you are able to achieve orgasm with and in front of your partner it becomes easier to achieve it in other ways .
If you can’t achieve orgasm in your own….
This is more complicated so I’ll give the brief explanation and you can dig in further . It is likely one of 2 things both require outside action .
Psychological: could be trauma or just lack of comfort . Either way needs some therapy and or self work . Many way to go about this be it a sex therapist , tantra techniques , somatic healing , etc . I’ll leave this here as it’s a rabbit hole. Sometimes it just takes you spending time learning to orgasm without your partner present so you can learn your likes and dislikes and understand what it feels like to orgasm.
Physiological – most likely hormones. You can get them checked but tests don’t always show the problem
Clearly . A good hormone specialist who knows what they are doing will be key . Weirdly many modern women have low testosterone ( yes women have and need it too) or high SHBG ( side effect of synthetic birth control pills) which binds free testosterone . High Prolactin can also play another role . Another rabbit hole and not something that can be solved without a professional so I’ll leave this here .
Yes. Often either bf or I don’t but we both enjoy the ride so love to do it anyway.
I remember this happening to me only twice. It wasn’t a big deal but a release is always nice. I am good at oral so getting the female to cum isn’t hard for me.