I’m 17, and I’ve never been to a party, never drank alcohol, and haven’t really talked to girls in a social or romantic context. It’s not that I’m against any of it—I’ve just been on other things like school and sports so I never really made time for that.
I’ve been getting a little curious. What is it actually like going to parties, drinking and flirting? I’m not necessarily planning on jumping into it right away, but I’d like to hear real experiences, funny, awkward, wild, or even disappointing.
Is it fun? Do people regret it sometimes? Or is it something worth trying when the time feels right?
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They can be fun, but they can also be boring. It really depends on who you’re with, having a few friends there/ enough friendly people to talk to and It will probably be more fun, but if it’s just a bunch of strangers getting drunk it’s a lot less fun.
I recommend going to some a few times just to get a feel for how it’s like, but don’t worry about drinking or smoking if you don’t want to.
I’m 17 too and haven’t done any of those things either! I think as long as you’re being safe, you should go for it :D. Dont get fomo though, alcohol and drugs fuck up your body and school+sports actually benefit you, let it be fun and not change your personality. stay safe bro!
I personally really enjoy parties. Especially now that I’m older and they happen less I look back on them with a lot of fondness. Can I give ya a pro tip tho? You’ll probably feel a bit awkward when your first at a party, and the obvious solution: drink until you don’t feel awkward, is right there. But try and avoid that. Have a drink or two to loosen up, but you don’t need to be wasted to have fun and have good conversations. (I did the former for a lot of my early party years and the later is ultimately more fun) enjoy! It’s a great time of life.
When I look back at high school, my most fond memories are partying with my friends.
Some of the most hilarious, ridiculous, enjoyable experiences of being young for me. It was a blast.
You gotta make your own decision on how you proceed – personally I wouldn’t overthink it. If you get the chance, go. If you’re not happy you can just leave.
I’ve always found them to be pretty lame. They’re usually nothing at all like you see in movies or TV, where everyone is laughing around a giant punch bowl, dancing to loud music in their trendy clothes and holding red plastic cups.
One thing to know about parties, there are always people there who don’t drink alcohol.
They socialize and hang out too.
my guy ur not missing much
Think about all the different restaurants you’ve been to. There are so many different kinds, that serves so many different kinds of food and have different atmospheres. . . Parties are all different.
I love theme parties, because it’s very fun to dress up and play a character, and parties where people do interactive things other than just drinking are the best!
I’ve posted a really fun, murder, mystery party, and also parties with lawn games like cornhole and giant Jenga are pretty great too.
It can be fun, or boring, or mid, depending on who’s there. Go and have a good time – talk to people! If you don’t want to stay, you can always leave. And contrary to other advice here, you don’t have to drink to have a good time. In fact, if you’re underage in your country, I’d avoid it. Just try the party for 30 minutes, and go from there.
I was there when I was your age. It was so much different than I was expecting.
Crowded and people are very intoxicated. It gets extremely hot and hard to breathe because there’s so many people and not enough air. Even in dead of brutal cold winter temperatures, inside could be unbearably hot. It becomes easier to tolerate if you’re also intoxicated, hellish if you’re sober. Music is normally blasting, so it can be hard to hear people. There’s normally drinking games like beer pong or whatever, though it was often too crowded to actually get in on it. Some stoners would light up outside. Alcohol was often provided or people brought. If it was provided, the hosts often wanted money to cover the costs. You mostly shuffle around looking for people to talk to, girls to flirt with, or something to do to break up the boredom. Conversation circles naturally would form.
The parties were enjoyable when you were around friends or able to talk. If you don’t know anyone and not a very outgoing person, you’re going to spend the entire night cradling a beer in your hand, trying not to look out of place.
Then there’s the pictures. This one took me for a doozy. I grew up so insecure seeing pictures of people at parties online. They always looked like they were having so much fun and cool. But that was far from reality. Most parties were pretty boring. Then a girl would pull out her camera and all the girls would drop what they were doing to strike a carefully rehearsed pose with expressions like they were having the best night of their life. Once the camera went away, they went back to their unenthusiastic boring selves. It only got worse with social media narcissism.
Also, bring a condom. You never know when it will happen.
Parties can vary greatly. When I was in high school, I’d been to parties of a small group of friends, parties that were aimed at more of the whole class, birthday parties, Halloween parties, cast parties, Christmas parties.
In general, you can interact to the level you want. For instance, if there’s dancing, you can dance if you want to, and you can leave your friends behind (’cause your friends don’t dance). If you don’t want to dance, don’t worry about it.
You could find people to talk to if you know them. If you don’t know them, you can just say hi. I met a friend (stranger to me at the time) at a party in college who looked a bit overwhelmed. I lived at the house where the party was, and was able to let her get away from the crowd for a bit. She was very conversational when she didn’t have a huge group around. I ended up walking her home, as I recall.
As I talk about all this now, it seems like I’ve been to lots of parties, but I wasn’t a party person. It was more hanging out with friends than anything else. You shouldn’t feel that you must go to a party if you don’t want to.
As for the drinking, I wouldn’t worry about it. Alcohol is not a necessary prerequisite to a good time. If you feel pressured to drink, you might want to leave the party in question. I told my kids that, if they had any situation they weren’t comfortable with, they could text me and I would call to say there was a situation requiring me to pick them up right away, so I could get them out. Their safety was the most important thing. I didn’t care if they had been drinking or anything else.
As for what this is all like, it is generally fun, or should seem that way. The basic approach for anyone you don’t know is to ask who they know. For instance, that party I mentioned in college, a housemate of mine was in the Sailing Club, and it was Sailing Club members who showed up to the party. I wasn’t a member, so no one knew who I was (which was kind of fun). I didn’t sail at that time, so I didn’t understand a lot of things, and might ask questions if I overheard something I didn’t understand. In a party, you know people will hear you, so people are more accepting of intrusive questions, at least in my experience.
Well, if you want to know “what it’s like” and not “whether it’s fun (which seems to be the angle everyone else is taking)”, it’s like this:
First of all, everyone shows up late. If you go to the party on time, you’re gonna be the only one there. There’s lots of reason for this, and I was the person who came to the party on time, but just know that everyone shows up late.
I went to college in Columbus, Ohio, the house parties there you go inside and everyone’s drinking and talking to each other. A lot of times, the conversations feel superficial and a bit shallow. The truth is everyone’s trying to impress everyone else, so they either try to make themselves look, smart, attractive or whatever. This lack of authenticity adds to the feeling of shallowness.
On a nice summer night, some people do sit on the roof of their house, which admittedly, can be pretty nice. I remember just sitting on a roof once chilling by myself when I didn’t feel like talking to everybody. A girl came up and said “How about I sit down and you tell me your name”, we didn’t have much in common, and she left.
There’s also drinking games at the party. Honestly, I hate drinking games but I also hate being made fun of, so I just told everyone it was my first time playing. Every time was my first time. The drinking games aren’t that fun tbh.
People just talk and mingle around for a few hours. Some people transition to a bar when it’s over, some people go home with each other, some people just go home. But, every party has a moment when everyone knows it’s “over” but no one leaves. It’s like trying to get out of a conversation with that one guy who won’t stop talking.
The house is a mess afterwards, you may have thrown up from being so drunk, and the hosts clean up and somebody else does the same next week.
That’s basically what it’s like
One thing that can be helpful is to go with your best friend, so that if you do imbibe you can have a trusted person to check your decisions with.
You can do this. It’s an important part of growing up.
I was mostly a wallflower in high school, but I did attend a few parties which I remember fondly. It was nice to get out my head a bit and dance, or chit chat, but I think the biggest thing is being somewhere with friends, because they’ll always make the experience better. They’ll help you feel like you’re never out of place!
Depends on the host. I love hanging out with people so I love parties and I’ve had many experiences. If you’re going to a party, definitely bring a friend who can be your buddy. You just hang out and talk to me people. If there are drinks then people are just talking to each other and drinking but don’t drink unless you don’t want to or if you’re driving back. Sometimes people might play beer pong if they get really rowdy.
I will say the worst party I ever went to was when my best friend got into a fight with the birthday girl (host of the party) and the whole party ate cake in silence LOL but I still look back on that memory and laugh. You win some you lose some.
first big party i went to at 16 was a friend from school his birthday. I’d been around and drank alcohol before, i did smoke. My mum let me take a 4pack of vodka cruisers and dropped me off. I was nervous at first, only knew a couple of people….. but a good friend of mine from school rocked up and was taking money to go get drinks, he had a car and i gave him some money to bring back drinks, he came back and probably about 40 others i knew about 10 women 30 guys showed up to the party and probably about another dozen i don’t know. We were drinking, music going , people dancing. I was laughing at a guy i knew from school, he was little but had some chubby girl sat on his lap, asked him for a bud ,( my family hates drugs, even marijuana ) . He handed me a pipe and said its the only 1 i’m getting, it was packed with a bud about an inch high, took me a good 10 minutes to finish. I was chill after that. I got my mum to pick me up at 1am. I lost my voice all weekend, apart from that was good.
Had a really bad experience at a party when i was 17, friend in a rough area had a party. got there and seen a friend of mine & 6 teenage boys arguing , he said ignore them and we were into the laundry to smoke. The boys were fighting, more rocked up and some rolling around, think at 1 point was about 20 of them all rolling around fighting, me and the other guy at just in the laundry ignoring it. It ended up getting broken up and more people arriving, had a girl try and accuse me of stealing some guys bike. I had a friends girlfriend keep randomly hugging me and handing me bud, ( he was the host of the party), i think she knew i was angry and just wanted to calm me down. I only ended up staying a couple of hours and got a ride back home. Everyone was just crazy that night, i did hear people were doing acid trips….might be why…
I’m 40 now, over parties, more than a dozen people around get too loud for me, especially loud drunks screaming and high pitched music, (music can be good loud if it has bass and good speaker setup).
imo, big parties are lame and can make you feel lonely but small kickbacks are peak, it lets you really connect with people even strangers. but as long as youre with good people, itll be a fun time 🙂
From the perspective of someone with autism : loud, bright, crowded, and stressful if someone starts breaking the law. You can ruin your life really easily with an underage drinking or DUI charge. At my own high school, four people were charged bc they slipped their classmate something to “make her chill out.” She overdosed and they drove around with her body in the car for like four hours before they realized she wasn’t asleep.
I don’t feel comfortable sharing my exact experience on here, but just keep in mind that there are some firsts that you want to be able to remember and be proud of. The first person you have sex with shouldn’t be a source of drunken shame, nor should your first drink be something you can’t talk about. In my experience, places like that were only fun if you were too intoxicated to see that they were lame.
TL;DR You’d enjoy your life way more joining a hobby club and throwing crazy parties with your close friends than you would sneaking around to go to lame frat parties
This really depends on the party and the specific crowd present. I barely ever went to parties in high school on account of being autistic and awkward as shit, but there was a football player in my neighborhood who threw ragers after games. I remember one time a girl ended up half passed out drunk and naked in the yard, and all the neighbors could get out of her was, “I’m a cheerleader!” That should give you an idea of how crazy those parties got.
The parties I attended in high school, on the other hand, were usually more of the marathoning an anime series and playing Halo type of thing.
In college, I did more of the drinking thing, but my friend group and I were a bunch of nerds so we usually played board/card games, watched movies, and in a very small number of cases, played truth or dare leading to some of us messing around or hooking up. Those gatherings were never more than 20 people, and usually more like 8-12 people. I actually met my wife through that group.
I only ever went to 2 big crazy parties, and they weren’t really my thing. Too loud, too crowded, didn’t know anyone there besides my roommate.
I’m 19 and still haven’t done it. I don’t plan to either.
This is Reddit, so you’ll generally get a much more negative view of parties than if you asked a cross-section of society.
Parties are a huge amount of fun. That’s why the vast majority of people in the vast majority of cultures and historical time periods have all enjoyed parties. They are a gathering of friends, family, interesting acquaintances, with music, dancing, food, drinks, good conversation, the chance to meet new people, catch up with people you care about, let loose a little, and unapologetically have fun.
They fulfil your social, entertainment, and even exercise needs. In my experience people who enjoy parties are happier, more well rounded, and better connected than those who don’t.
When you’re ready – no rush – check one out!
Really fun but sometimes leads to regrets. Everything in moderation
Dont worry you are not missing much.
Drinking and partying isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Alcohol tastes nasty first of all and makes you feel like shit the next morning and partying is like mentally and socially draining.
boring and surprisingly lonely for there being a lot of people around, also loud and unpleasant, or at least thats most of what I remember of the few parties I have been to
I’m 22, student athlete and didn’t party until my first year of community college. It’s entirely dependent on who you’re with. My first two years at JUCO I partied every week, with great people in an apartment village type setup where I could walk home. The past two years I went to university and partied sporadically with people I didn’t trust and disliked because I had to fit in with my sports program. I’ve had good, bad, and everything in between. Here’s some rules of thumb and experiences:
Irish exit, any time, no apologies. The only people you have to communicate with when you leave are the people you came with. Everyone is too drunk to notice you slipping out the door. If you’re uncomfortable, bored, unsafe, annoyed or simply don’t want to be there, just leave, I promise nobody will take offense to it.
If you are at a party where people are drinking and driving, damaging property or other people, doing anything other than weed, nic, alcohol, taking photos and videos, see yourself out, and quickly. Any jealous person, faulty rationale or mistake could cost you your life, athletic career, future scholarships, relationships or stain your permanent record. Leave the stupid shit to people who don’t have goals or ambitions, don’t let yourself get caught up in some dumb nonsense because you didn’t wanna look like a loser that ran away. I’ve left a party the minute after I saw people doing coke in the back, the police pulled up, or my friends were setting stuff on fire and punching walls.
As a girl, be choosy with who you hook up with. It’s transactional. Some girls just want a guy to talk to, some are scoping you out for their friends, some want a relationship and some want one hookup and to never speak again. Many girls actually just want to socialize the same way men do, myself included. Read contextual clues and treat it the way you would any transactional situation: respect, communicate, and know that you can actually say no. Just bc you’re a dude doesn’t mean you have to accept any girl that offers you. Nobody will think you’re lame or an asshole if you respectfully decline. Doesn’t make you any less of a dude.
You get to choose your own archetype when you go to parties. The usual design is a smoking area, the main area with cup pong, music etc. and the outskirts. The great thing about parties is that everyone, for the most part, has their guard down. Half of them are too high or drunk to remember the night. That gives you the freedom to be whoever you want to be on any given evening. I’ve been to parties where I sat in the smokers section and talked about the economy, and others where I hijacked the karaoke machine and rapped Kendrick Lamar songs for 30 minutes straight. I’ve left parties within 30 minutes of arriving, and others where I challenged multiple men to arm-wrestling, races and deadlifting competitions. You choose your mood and actions and it can make or break an experience for you. Do whatever you want.
Don’t be in a rush to make up time or experience before college. I’ve had more fun drinking wine by myself watching a documentary about gaming Wall Street than being going to half of those parties. I can turn on my speaker, buy a preroll and dance in the living room and have more fun than the other half of those parties. Partying is exponentially more enjoyable when you know you’ll be in your bed, showered, fed and in your pajamas at the end of the night. Additionally, being with people that you can support mutually, but not ones you have to baby, watch or take care of. The only regrets I’ve had partying are going to ones with people I didn’t trust or enjoy, and leaving there feeling guilty, lonely and annoyed because I didn’t have any substance or purpose being there. You have to have your person or group of people that you know will have your back, or have your own back and get the autonomy that comes with moving alone.
One Halloween party, I was wearing green fairy wings and went to a horrid party that I didn’t want to go to because the rest of the team went, and I didn’t want to be even more alienated from them. My roommate and teammate (evil) drove there without me knowing it was a team party and that I was invited, but brought some other girls from the team with her. I chose to walk my ass over myself, had an okay time and got pretty drunk. Around 11pm, I decided I was sick of hanging out with people that I didn’t even like and left without telling a soul. I’m sure a couple people saw a drunken blur with green fairy wings absolutely flying across their lawn that night (drunk sprinting=fun). Ironically, that was the best part of the night.
Partying is a slippery slope of bad decisions, but if you go about it in the right way, you could go to one every weekend and be just fine!
Some examples of stupid shit I’ve seen people do:
• Try to scale a fence and de glove a portion of their hand, down to the bone
• get severe alcohol poisoning (I have as well, but not terribly)
• girls being drugged and taken away from their group
• men getting in fights
• my friends once put half a container of preworkout into the jungle juice without telling anyone, woke up with heart palpitations and thought I was gonna die
• break a window by kicking a soccer ball through it
• pull ups on a barn ceiling t-bar 20 feet up from concrete flooring (this was actually me)
Many others I don’t want to or can’t remember, anyways be safe and be you!
Looking back some of em where good, some where shit. I started drinking at 16 and it later became a problem. Be careful with the drink and don’t take powdered drugs or pills. Always watch someone roll up weed. Goodluck
If I could go back and do things differently, it is something I would never do. Yes it’s fun and it can make you feel great but it is so easy to be consumed by it and even if you don’t, it is extremely easy to put yourself in situations that will lead to nothing but trouble. It isn’t worth it and if it does become a problem for you down the road, it is something that can be incredibly difficult to stop doing. Surround yourself with people who also stay away from doing that stuff, surround yourself around people who will build you up and help you become a better person.
By the grace of God I was able to quit drinking, doing drugs and smoking cigarettes and it took me many hard lessons for me to turn to God and trust in him, he helped me to repent of those things. Drugs and alcohol can ruin friendships, your relationships with the people closest to you and before you know it you can reach a point where you don’t even recognize who you have become. It can be extremely difficult to come back from where those things can lead you and I am thankful everyday for God’s grace and mercy in helping me to quit those things and to return me to my loving family.