Hi, I’m a 21F studying abroad in Japan until August. I came with Lenard (30M) from my home university and met Rachel (21F) ,who’s from my home country here. We became a close trio, sharing jokes and traveling together. Recently, I’ve felt they’ve become closer, excluding me from conversations and picking on me. Rachel is direct and often criticizes me, with Lenard agreeing. They talk negatively about other students’ Japanese skills, which bothers me as I’ve befriended some of those students. This Monday, Rachel commented negatively about a friend’s presentation, which upset me. They also complained about my presentation group, since there’s apparently only people in there with bad japanese or just people, who annoy them. After class, they waited for me instead of engaging with my other friends. They don’t make an effort to socialize outside our trio and are disruptive in class as well . I feel uncomfortable and not taken seriously with them anymore. I enjoy spending time with my other friends more and somehow want to rather spend time with my friends back home online, then with them irl.
I’m unsure if I’m feeling this way because I’m leaving soon or if I genuinely don’t want to be friends with them anymore. Any advice?
(all names are not real names)
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Backup of the post’s body: Hi, I’m a 21F studying abroad in Japan until August. I came with Lenard (30M) from my home university and met Rachel (21F) ,who’s from my home country here. We became a close trio, sharing jokes and traveling together. Recently, I’ve felt they’ve become closer, excluding me from conversations and picking on me. Rachel is direct and often criticizes me, with Lenard agreeing. They talk negatively about other students’ Japanese skills, which bothers me as I’ve befriended some of those students. This Monday, Rachel commented negatively about a friend’s presentation, which upset me. They also complained about my presentation group, since there’s apparently only people in there with bad japanese or just people, who annoy them. After class, they waited for me instead of engaging with my other friends. They don’t make an effort to socialize outside our trio and are disruptive in class as well . I feel uncomfortable and not taken seriously with them anymore. I enjoy spending time with my other friends more and somehow want to rather spend time with my friends back home online, then with them irl.
I’m unsure if I’m feeling this way because I’m leaving soon or if I genuinely don’t want to be friends with them anymore. Any advice?
(all names are not real names)
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You’re so young and friends come and go. If they’re talking badly about people and criticising you, they’re not a positive at all in your life. The world is full of new friends, it doesn’t sound like you’ll be alone anyway. I wouldn’t waste time on people not aligned for you.
NTA these experiences such as school and studying abroad are a part of your life to help you grow. It seems to me as you’re not into the drama and would prefer to be in an uplifting friend group. The best option I would say is to either voice your concerns or slowly distance yourself. You know what’s best for yourself and I’m confident you’ll make the right choice and make even more friends who are a better fit for you and will help you grow positively.