Relevant: I don’t live in the US, I live in a country with strong de facto relationship rights.
My husband and I have been married for three years. I didn’t change my name because I didn’t want to. He also didn’t change his name because he didn’t want to. It’s not rocket science, or so I thought.
We’re expecting our first child so I set up a meeting with a lawyer to draft wills. I had a number of phone calls with the lawyer where I consistently referenced ‘my husband’. We had a joint meeting with the lawyer where we said we were married. We wear wedding rings. We are a straight cis couple and look outwardly traditional. There are no previous marriages or other children outside the marriage. There is nothing else here that could be tripping them up.
The first draft of the will came back today and it consistently references “my de facto partner, Name”. The only reason I can think of is that we have different surnames. It’s so incredibly frustrating that my legal marriage, which is important to me, isn’t being recognised because I didn’t also change my name.
As a side note, I was the one who set up all the appointments with the lawyer, they have my phone number and my email (which contains my name), and yet all the billing references are to Hissurname legal matter. Isn’t mine just as valid?