im 20 and i never want to give birth or be pregnant, i hate the idea of it. my mum is convinced most women my age who say so change their minds, since she was firmly childfree until her late 20s and so were a few friends of hers.
im just curious how common it is. i cant visualise myself ever changing my mind but obviously some women do. and for those who did, what caused you to change your mind / how did your views change?
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No I did not change my mind and I, in fact, continue to double down on that decision as time goes on
No. Just as staunchly childfree now two decades after telling my mom as a late teen that I didn’t want kids.
I have friends who have changed their minds. Most of them were never adamant about it though, or their life circumstances changed so significantly that having children eventually seemed like something they could picture themselves doing.
I did, largely because I found a very supportive husband who actually treats life and parenting as 50/50. Motherhood is very different with an equal partner IMO. Also, actually achieving financial stability and not being paycheck to paycheck anymore
Of course there’s lots of people who don’t change their minds but that was my experience!
Nope. Still happily childfree in my forties with a childfree husband as well.
Not only did I not change my mind, I’ve become increasingly sure I made the right decision. Initially, my not wanting children was more based on the fact that everybody else who wanted children had a deep burning desire for it, and I just lacked that. Now that I’ve seen people who had that deep burning desire have children and really struggle with it, I know that listening to my instinct was correct. If people who really really really want children struggle this much with essentially being selfless so that they can keep the baby alive and raise them into toddlers then children then adolescents then teenagers and then adults, I don’t know what I would have done. I just know it wouldn’t have been good for me or for the child.
Nope. I’m 31 and knew from elementary school that I didn’t want kids. Husband just got his vasectomy two weeks ago!!!
No, I started asking to be sterilised at 19 and was finally allowed to have it done at 39. There wasn’t a single second that I changed my mind
No.
No.
I am 34 and so far have not had a change in heart in desiring a child. I know many women do change when they get into their 30s. I have heard a lot of stories that hormones and where you’re at in life play a role – that when a woman finds someone to marry who is actually great, it’s like her mind can then shift and that desire opens up, where it was locked down before. So it certainly can and does happen. It just so happened for me it did not. And I even got married at 21. I kept waiting and waiting to one day have some shift where I suddenly yearned for a child, or even kind of wanted one. But nope. Here I am and the thought of having my own child still just makes me think, ”no thanks”.
I find women fall into one of these categories:
100% Child Free by Choice
Child Free Not By Choice (i.e. medical reason)
Want children
Unsure.
All the women I know that wanted children had children, all the women that were adamantly child free by choice didn’t change their minds.
I think child free women that end up having kids likely, they never were 100% child free by choice but more likely unsure but leaning towards child free (with the exception of pressure from a partner).
The “child free by choice” women I know that had kids were always, 50/50; 80/20 when I’d talk with them. Not against but not for, depends on the guy and situation.
I don’t know anyone that was 100% definite child free by choice that ended up having kids.
I’m 37 and still have not changed my mind. I’m married, have a couple cats and will probably get a dog if we buy a place rather than renting. Still I don’t want to be a mother. That wouldn’t be fair for a child. End of story.
But yes people will keep telling you “in 5 years you’ll see”. I’ve known since I was probably 14-15 years old I didn’t want to be a mother and no amount of years have changed that so far.
No. I only changed my mind bc I got pregnant lol. But if I was not pregnant I certainly wouldn’t be trying for kids. I’m currently 31.
Nope. I’m 36 and still single and childfree just the way I always knew I would be. If anything, I’ve become more convinced of my decision as time goes on.
When I met my husband, I didn’t care either way about kids; like I wasnt against them but I also wasn’t planning for it either. We were too busy having fun with each other, travelling, partying etc.
then when I was closer to 30, my sister had her 2nd baby and when I went to see him, my clock just started. It was really weird; like I literally heard a “tick!” in my brain and then I wanted a baby.
No. I’m 38 and am even more firmly childfree than I was in my 20s. It gets reenforced every time I see demon children in public 🤷🏽♀
I was firmly child-free throughout my 20s (even had an abortion, so no… a “mistake” didn’t change my mind), then in my 30s I had a vague inkling that maybe I could want a kid some day? but then that day never came and now I’m in my 40s and think that if I were 30 right now, maybe I’d want a kid, but now I feel too old and don’t feel like dealing with parenthood.
So, I don’t know if that answers your question? I am a really indecisive person in general but I’ve been childfree enough to not ever have a kid at any time I was actually living in.
I’m 41 and have zero regrets about not having kids. I am thankful on a daily basis, actually, that I don’t have them.
Nope. Still childfree and I become more grateful for my decision every year. I also had a bisalp last year and it’s so freeing not having to worry about getting pregnant.
I’m 45, completely happy with the decision. People told me I would change my mind, I didn’t.
No I didn’t change my mind. Almost 40 now and when people ask if I want kids I get anxious because people with kids literally verbally convince me I should want kids. And when people tell me I’m too geriatric for kids I feel relief. I don’t want to be pregnant, I don’t want kids, I’ve never even had a second thought about it.
The closest thing I’ve felt was the day I married my husband and he looked me square in the face and said “don’t worry, I still don’t want kids, but if I ever had kids I’d want them to be with you”. I can say I feel that same sentence back at him in my bones, but we both just don’t want kids.
Yep. I got married at 22 and we were adamant we’d stay childfree. Then I turned 30 and realized it was basically now or never and got all broody and decided to try.
I tried to picture what I wanted my future to look like and I was afraid the chances of being 50 and regretting not having a kid was probably much higher than regretting your child.
I’m now 34 with a 3.5 year old and am firmly one and done. Not because I don’t like being a mom but because I love our current situation so much! I get to experience all the joys of motherhood without being constantly overwhelmed. I also still have time for my hobbies. Win win over here.
Didn’t change my mind, not far into 30 yet though, but I don’t see it happening.
I’m 43 and have never been pregnant nor did I want to be.
However, I am not child free. My husband and I decided to foster teenagers and have now adopted 4 teens who are now all adults. We are still licensed although we have no foster kids right now. I joke that we just skipped all the diaper changing and moved straight to vaping and teenage angst.
This was not the easy parenting path, but I would take 100 teenagers over getting pregnant any day.
No, since there is no guaranteed return on the investment of having kids I have no desire to have them 39. My biggest fear is having a child who is special needs or who grows to be an adult who never leaves my home.
34 and still Childfree. But you have time, no rush to decide.
Nope. I’ve known since I was a kid. Still haven’t changed my mind.
I might adopt someday. Not because I want kids, but to give one the opportunity at a comfortable and safe life. Perhaps after my dogs pass
I was never firmly child free and I’m not gonna describe myself that way now. I’m just waiting to want it. I’m open to starting to want it but so far it hasn’t happened.
No. I’ve never wanted kids. I’m now in my early 40s and the only thing that has changed is that I’ve gotten even more adamant about my stance as I’ve gotten older. Not only do I not want to have kids, I won’t date someone who already has kids, even grown kids. Those adult kids will most likely go on to have kids of their own and it’s often grandparents who are expected to babysit. No thanks. I have plenty of other things that sound way more enjoyable to do.
Nope. I decided on no kids in my 20s and became even more adamant in my 30s. I’m now almost 39, no kids, and no regrets.
I do have a husky though which was a questionable life choice because she’s basically like having a forever toddler 🥴
Yes, I was on the fence leaning towards no for having kids most of my life. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have children at all.
Reevaluated that decision in my late twenties and decided after thinking on it for a year or two to go for it. I was in a (at the time) stable marriage and career and could really see myself enjoying that side of life.
I have one son and while it hasn’t been easy, it’s been fulfilling. I won’t have more children than him though and I’m very comfortable with that.
Never wanted kids and at 36 I got sterilized of my own volition so I could be permanently child free! Plenty of people change their minds, just as many don’t.
I knew I wanted to be a mother someday when I was in my twenties and also knew I wasn’t ready. Other people just assumed I didn’t want kids because I was enjoying my twenties, getting an education, and starting a career instead of having babies. I never said I didn’t want kids, never ever said that. I just didn’t want them yet… I feel like your mom is one of those people that just assumes women like me didn’t want kids in early adulthood and then changed our minds later. Nope, I always knew I wanted to be a mother, when I was ready, that is why I am one now.
No, never changed, I’m nearly 37. In my late 20s I ended up working with kids, a lot of my friends started having kids, I was in a happy relationship with a great man. A lot of people in my life were pretty confident all that would start to change my feelings.
I still work with kids and I love it. That happy relationship came to an end when my ex (who was an on the fence rather than definite no person, and was always honest about that) decided parenthood was something he wanted.
I do know people who’ve changed their minds, I’m not going to say it’s uncommon but I don’t think my story is unusual either.
I’m 39 and happily married without kids. My mother always wanted me to have kids. I kinda always thought a I would. It the years passed and I was always e joying living my life.
I met my husband and we talked about it but both of us loved not having kids and didn’t want them so we stayed that way.
I love my life with jsit my husband and I
A lot of our friends have kids. I’m not sure how many changed thei minds, had them because of expectation, wanted them or it was an accident.
I think one of my friends had a kid later in life for the wrong reason but she is a good mom
We have kids around us that we get to enjoy
I don’t feel like I’m
Missing out on anything by not having children.
I love kids. I think they are dope as fuck.
And cool people but I just don’t desire them
Nope! I’m in my early 30s and more committed than ever to never reproduce or adopt a human. I’m leaning more towards a kitten or two. 🤷🏾♀️
No, the older I got the more I didn’t want them.
Nope. Knew I didn’t want kids since 16. I’ll be 36 this year and never once changed my mind, in fact I’m even more sure I never want children now 🤣
I did change my mind. Never wanted kids until I was 30ish.
In my early 20s I was not interested in having children And I didn’t think I ever would be. I found myself a lot more interested in it once I got married and felt good about my financial situation.
Wanted the baby. Had the baby. It’s challenging but so is anything else I’ve ever wanted to do 😅
It doesn’t really matter whether or not you feel different in 10 years. If your feelings on the matter change, cool. If they don’t, also cool. You’re living your own life. You make decisions now based off of what you know and want.
Ewww no. Why would I change my mind on being childfree? I don’t hate myself
I changed mine about age 27 but since I was doing a long time upskilling I said I would want to start after I finished it. Happened close to my 30th birthday. Now I have to find a fitting man for it.
I wavered but putting the orange Cheeto as president confirmed I made the right decision. I love kids but I’ve decided against it
I didn’t want kids at all when I was in my 20s. Used to look at friends with babies and think ‘no way’. Thought I’d have to end relationship at 29, because he wanted kids one day. We stayed together, and actually I completely changed my mind when I was about 32/33. Had my daughter at 35!
It’s a pretty nuanced topic. Some people do change their minds, other never do. It is really about the individual. I personally have seen it both ways. For me, i always found the question strange as I simply did not even think about having kids that young, it was a question that as women we somehow encounter regularly, so i would simply say “No, I’m not interested in that”. You then get told you’ll change your mind, or how great it is to have family, or ‘i felt that way and now i couldn’t imagine not being a parent’ etc. The conversation just becomes a loop of people telling you that you don’t know yourself. Which, when you’re younger is true to some extent but insulting to regularly hear. I started saying “I’m not sure, maybe one day” and that would prevent the onslaught of bullshit.
I’m currently 32 and have yet to change my mind, and i still say the same thing “maybe one day” just to avoid it entirely haha but no, although I adore children i don’t have the bandwidth to raise one day in and day out. I enjoy my freedom and my life and I don’t have room to introduce a dependent into my life. Regardless of the thought of how nice a family might be, I’m also content and happy with my lifestyle. I quite simply would be a selfish and disengaged parent, and I don’t think it’s fair to do that to someone who has no choice in who raises them.
My best friend of 15 years was DYING to have a baby throughout her whole life up until around 29, she’s travels the world and hasn’t stopped for 10 years and has completely flipped it. She now absolutely does not want children at all, she has zero interest and loves her life. She said maybe if she ever settles down she would foster teenagers to provide them with opportunities, but that’s as far as that would go.
One thing I will note is that it is OK to change your mind. There is no time limit, and there is no classic family dynamic. I say allow yourself to live life and get to know yourself, and you’ll be able to determine whether or not you want that. I
I was so firmly child free in my 20s. I had my first at 33 and second at 36. I did not change my mind really, but my first was a surprise and it turned out I loved being a mom. And then I was like well fuck, im getting old so we planned the second. I have zero complaints being an “older” mom. I have a solid career and am stable. My 20s were a hot mess.
Yes – I always told my Mom I didn’t want kids as a teen/young adult, and then met my husband and very much wanted children. Now I’m a mom and extremely grateful, thrilled, and honored to be a mother. If giving birth or being pregnant is the only reason you don’t want kids, there are certainly other ways to become a mom if you decide you want that as you get older (adoption, becoming a stepmom…). My two cents – being pregnant has its ups and downs, and everyone’s experience is different. I was nauseous all the time the first 3 months and the last month or two was pretty uncomfortable. But during my pregnancy I backpacked four days in the Grand Canyon, squatted my pre pregnancy weight the day before I gave birth, and was running weekly up until 30 weeks. Being pregnant doesn’t mean you’re disabled – and it drove me bonkers when people assumed that. I was in labor for 37 hours, 20 hours without medical intervention but I finally caved and got an epidural. Baby was backwards so rubbing against my spine, which I assume increased the pain immensely for me. As soon as the epidural kicked in it was a breeze in comparison. Childbirth is again, different for everyone, but going through it made me feel strong and empowered. In the end it’s really your attitude and life circumstances that determines whether you feel pregnancy is worth it or not for the outcome it provides.
I never wanted to be a mother and I did not change my mindfrom teens, to twenties, into thirties. In fact, I got my tubes removed at 26. Best decision ever!
Nope. My husband and I agreed on our first date at 18 that we didn’t want kids. In September we’ll have been together 26 years and married for 23. We both still strongly agree on no reproducing.
Nope. I’m in my early 30s and just had a bisalp done a few months ago.
When I was 20 I defo didn’t want kids, and first remember being firm on this when I was only 7. Now I’m 27 and look forward to having a kid, or adopting 🥰
Yes, but it was mostly because I was in an abusive relationship and I refused to have kids with an abuser. Now that I’m not with him anymore… Idk.
I am a very go-with-the-flow person so I almost never say “I’ll NEVER” anything lol. But I had zero thoughts about having kids up until I was 27. It just wasn’t something I ever thought about and couldn’t picture. And then, suddenly, it was, and now I have three kids 😁
I never changed my mind. I’m 37 and I still never want to give birth or be pregnant. Probably for selfish reasons, but I like my body, I don’t want my organs rearranged, I don’t want to deal with complications during or after pregnancy.
If I ever want children, my partner and I are open to fostering or adopting.
Nope!
No. I questioned it a lot. All the time – wondering if I was certain. But as time went on I became more and more certain. Occasionally I would entertain the idea, but I never went beyond that besides considering adoption.
33 next month. I was kind of a fence sitter when I was younger I just thought it was my duty but never really had a strong maternal urge, got a little older realized that life may not be for me bc I like doing whatever I want but also on the other hand, a tiny me to raise up to be a wonderful human wouldnt be the worst thing. Got pregnant in 2023, freaked out and decided to commit, was super excited, traumatic miscarriage at 15 weeks. Sealed the deal for me. No chance I’d put myself through that possibly happening again.
I was childfree in my 20s and never wavered. Luckily I met someone who felt the same. Now in my early 50s and no regrets.
37, definitely still don’t want kids.
Nope. I tied my tubes when I was 25 and I’m 32 right now. Loving my child-free life and getting to do whatever the hell I want whenever the hell I want. Also, moneyyyyy.
I am 33 now and have gone from a maybe in my 20s to a No in my 30s. I have no idea how to fit a child into my life and it would be a worse life for us both.
I’ve been told I’d change my mind since I was 15 and I’m 33 and still damn happy being child free.
Recently my 16 year old cousin told me there was still time and I laughed in his face and told him he was what made me sure I made the right decision. He grew up spending weekends and summers at my house.
I did change my mind. On behalf of women who are truly childfree, I’m so sorry that my backstory gives ammunition to the people who say “you’ll change your mind one day”!
What changed my mind? A mixture of time and finding the right person. I was staunchly childfree at 20. By 26, I had started thinking about marriage, and realized my longterm boyfriend and I were not compatible as husband and wife, and so I broke things off because why waste time in a relationship where I knew I didn’t want to marry him? Around this time I changed from “staunchly childfree” to “but maybe…”. I told my mom how I still wasn’t sure about kids, and she said she wasn’t sure either… until she met my father. Before meeting my dad, the thought of being a wife and mother felt too abstract. But once she met him, everything seemed to click into place, and all of a sudden she wanted to be a wife and mother. I figured I would probably have that same life experience too.
A year later, I started dating my now-husband and the same thing happened to me. Everything clicked and I wanted to be a wife and mother for him, and only him. He wasn’t a checkbox to fulfill my goal of motherhood, he was my life partner, and for the first time in my life, I was excited to build and home and family.
I would never tell someone they’ll “change your mind someday” because truly childfree people do exist. And even if someone does change their mind one day, nothing good comes from an “I told you so” dance. Support from every angle.
I did, but only because I met my husband who is an amazing partner and 50/50 on everything, and we have financial stability.
We were both on the fence for most of our relationship and decided to try recently. If it doesn’t happen I’ll be sad but I think we can live a fulfilling life either way just because I love living life with him.
I did not change my mind. I’m sure some people do but I wasn’t one of them.
I’m in my mid 30s (would be considered geriatric pregnancy), happily partnered, and still have no desire for kids. I haven’t changed my mind! If anything I have even less of a desire because of how expensive it is, and I realized how greatly that would impact my cost of living
I knew from the time I was a teenager that I had zero interest in birthing or raising children. I’m 63 now and I never wavered one bit or changed my mind. Forever childfree.
Never changed my mind and actually had my tubes out a couple years ago. I’m happily sterile now 💙
I’m 38 & never regretted my choice.
I didn’t change my mind. On the contrary. As I’m getting older, I’m more and more convinced that it was the right decision and I can’t imagine my life with children.
Yes, I wasn’t in the “never ever” category or solid with any choice, but I didn’t really try or feel the pull to have a baby until age 34. 🤷🏼♀️
Absolutely not. I’ve been childfree for literally as long as I can remember; the idea of reproducing has always been viscerally alien to me. I didn’t like being around children when I myself was a child, and I like being around them even less now. I got sterilized when I was 21, and now at 36 my sole regret about the matter is that I did Essure (no longer FDA approved) instead of getting a bilateral salpingectomy (virtually bulletproof).
I was determined to be childfree in my teens through my 20s and then did a lot of deep reflection upon why I wanted to be childfree in my late 20s. My answers came down to my feeling flawed or broken because of a genetic illness (a type of kidney disease) and thinking that having a child would be too hard on my body. I was also worried about the environment and other external factors. Ultimately, I realized that while my surface level answer was that I wanted to be childfree, deeper down I wanted kids but felt like I couldn’t or shouldn’t have them. Once I realized that, I did three things a) therapy to work on my self love and resolve what were quasi-eugenics beliefs b) research into the actual risks involved with my condition if I did get pregnant, as well as risks to offspring c) alternative ways to become a parent. While I don’t think this world is an ideal place to bring children into, I am still hopeful, and it’s with that hope that I proceeded.
I’m in my late thirties now and have a 2.5yo who is absolutely wonderful. My spouse was neutral on kids, later changed his mind and asserted that he was childfree, and also had to do some deep reflection and therapy work to chart a path forward, with us both ultimately going from childfree to parents together.
One of my best friends of decades always said she was childfree, but her bf (now husband) always wanted 3+ kids, and she adores him, and she ultimately came around to the idea of having children. They have two now.
I do think that many people who are committed to being childfree in their 20s continue to want to be childfree, though. It’s so hard to predict. There’s no fast and sure rule.
I did not, nor will I.
I’m 36 and still very content to not have children. I fully believe i could have a child at 42 if I wanted to. Women are able to have children much later in life than previously.
I still sometimes get the “you’ll change your mind” talk but honestly kids are super expensive so I’d have to cut back my lifestyle and they also age you like crazy (stress).
I’m 36 and sterilized, I didn’t change my mind at all, and it’s a good thing because it turns out because of a rare uterine deformity it would be a high risk pregnancy if I managed to actually get pregnant & not miscarry.
Idk, I never felt like I wanted to have kids and I definitely still don’t.
If I ever changed my mind I would definitely adopt.
I was the opposite…sort of. I wanted children in my 20s but as I reached 30 and am now 36, the more firm I am changing my mind to no children at all.
This tends to be a pointless thing to argue about. No one can prove that you will or won’t change your mind until and unless you do. Some percentage of people will never change their mind from when they’re 20, and some percentage will. Neither you nor your mother knows for sure which it’ll be for you.
The question is whether it really matters today. Most people aren’t trying to get pregnant at 20—and clearly you aren’t, and shouldn’t be, given that you say you don’t want children. And almost no one gets sterilized at 20 or even has the option. So I’m guessing you’re not about to make a permanent decision one way or the other.
So your mother can have her beliefs about what future you will want, and you can have yours. Getting pregnant a decade from now (or staying childfree indefinitely) won’t be any harder or easier depending on what either of you thinks now. Promise her that if you change her mind one day, you’ll tell her, and she can say “I told you so,” and until then, you can lay the topic to rest.
No. In fact, I’ve only become more at peace with my decision to not have kids.
40s now and absolutely not. Very secure and happy with my decision. There is absolutely nothing about parenting that looks appealing to me.
I didn’t change my mind but sometimes I get FOMO. I wonder what our kid would look like. But it’s fleeting and in the end it’s not me having a desire to have a kid. I think it’s just all my friends having kids that make me think maybe I’m missing out. But I also love the freedom to do whatever I want and go wherever I want to. Plus all the extra money we’re saving is fantastic. Lol
Yes, although I wasn’t really avowedly child free. I just wasn’t interested and didn’t think of myself as maternal.
Didn’t change my mind. Never got ‘baby fever’.
I did want a dog since I was 17 and that feeling only intensified.
I have a lovely pup now who thinks he’s my child and I always feel so lucky because I get unending cuddles but no sleepless nights, breast feeding or diapers.
Childfree in my twenties, and still childfree at 40.
I am not suited to motherhood, at least not in our modern, Western environment.
32 now. Been with my bf since I was 20. Our distain for children only grows with age.
NOPE
I’m now in my 40’s and not once ever regretted my decision to be child free. I believe that I would have been miserable had I given into the pressure from family to have a child. I probably would’ve resented the child.
Nope. Most of my friends either don’t want kids or are fence sitters leaning towards maybe but only if they are financially stable enough with their partners to be parents (but won’t be sad if kids are never in the cards). Kids are expensive.
No, and it was the right decision.
Nope I got sterilized and have NO REGRETS. There’s no way I could have the hobbies I do or travel as much as I want. Plus I can foster dogs that can’t go to home with children so I’m making an impact with my childfree status.
My friends with kids are drowning in financial strain and the mental load. And many, not all of them, but many are struggling with their romantic relationships with the stress of kids.
I’m now 35 and still not changed my mind. Actually the more time goes on the less I want any kids!
Nope. 33 and more firmly in my stance lmao. My life is elite child free.
Multiple how you feel now with more money (manifesting for you!) and freedom to explore new adventures and a hotter body (if wellness/fitness if your vibe). You will really grow into your body in a few years and the level of appreciation/love of your entire self will become unmatched.
Nope. I doubled down a got a tubal ligation when I was 33/34. I think if I had been with the partner I have now I might have had a different opinion on children. It worked out the way it was meant to though.
No way. If anything I’ve grown stronger in my decision.
Yes, but I also had a shitty childhood, 20s, and was poor into my late 20s. Why would I want to bring a kid into that? In my 30s, I was remarried to someone amazing and I realized that I–personally–was traumatized and that my life would be different.
My best friend has always been (we’ve known each other since we were 15 and we’ll be 40 this year) and still is childfree and that’s what works perfectly for her.
I knew I wanted to be childfree when I was in college. I met my husband, he did not want kids either so he got the snip, we got married when I was 24. I’m 38 now. We have never once regretted our choice. Like others have said, each year, I become even more glad that I listened to my gut and found a partner who also wanted the same thing as I did.
We always said if we regretted the snip and suddenly some instinctual desire to have kids awakened in both of us, we’d adopt because there are a hell of a lot of kids out there that need love and stability and it does not matter whether they’d look like us or not. We just never felt that calling so here we are, 13+ years later very happy and have never once felt like something is missing.
I’m 38 and have yet to change my mind. I knew I didn’t want kids when I was 13 lol.
Nope, and soon I’ll be in my 40’s and childfree. 🙌
41 year old here; the older I get, the happier I am with that decision, especially after spending a few days with my niblings (who I absolutely adore the absolute shit out of); they’re great but also very chaotic, loud and messy.
That’s good for some; it’s just not for me. 🤷🏻♀️
Great question. I changed my mind around 28. I’m now pregnant at 33. I dont really know why my feelings changed they just did. I think maybe I changed around that time.
40, happily married and financially secure – still very childfree. I briefly contemplated the side of the fence for a few weeks in my mid thirties – like, ‘Could I maybe want them? One day?’ – then went right back to being sure of my decision. It’s just not something I’ve ever wanted.
I made sure to check in with my husband about once a year (in the decade or so before we got married) just to make sure we were still in the same lane. No regrets at all!
I don’t know why it’s socially acceptable to say things like ‘You’ll change your mind’ to childfree people. Can you imagine the blowback from saying that to someone who’s trying for a baby? It’s crazy rude!
nope!
knew from a young age i never wanted children. was lucky enough to have a tubal removal at 25 & today, at 30, it’s the best thing I ever did for myself. my decision has never swayed, & i will NEVER regret it!
i did not change my mind and anyone who told me that i would change my mind once i found “the one”, i just replied with “if he’s the right one he won’t want kids either” and that usually stops them in their tracks. 37 now and childfree, married to the right man who also did not want kids. and i have never regretted it for a second.
Nope.
29F so not there till september but I went from starkly chilfree, to well maybe children, to I WANT CHILDREN AND I WANT THEM NOWWWWWW IF MY MAN DONT WANT CHILDREN HE AINT THE MAN FOR ME GTFO I’ve ended a 4 year long relationship because I initially went into it childfree but eventually started wanting kids
Am almost 35, still glad I don’t have kids.
I knew about 10 women who, in our 20s, were adamant they wanted to remain childfree.
Now in their mid to late 30s, only one or them hasn’t had any children, the rest are all now parents.
I’m 38 and childfree and have never wanted to have children and pregnancy horrifies me.
Most of my friends had children around their 30’s and 40’s but they all knew they wanted children earlier in life, or were at the very least uncertain.
No I did not change my mind. I am 58 now and still glad I made the choices I made.
Turning 41 soon and I did not change my mind. The thought of losing my freedom and autonomy and money and schedule became increasingly more horrible each year. Also, if you read about the impacts of global warming over the next 50-100 years it’s clear that you are bringing a child into a dying world. There will be water wars and mass northward migrations within their lifetimes (and their children and especially grand children will be absolutely fucked unless we become a space faring civilization).
35 years old here, and nope. My husband just had his vasectomy on Monday, and I’ve never felt so relieved in my life and just confirms that we’re making the right decision for us.
35 and I still hate the idea
Late 30s, still child free.
nope. i got sterilized when i was 37 and i had been asking doctors to perform one for almost a decade at that point
Yes. It changed after I had a miscarriage.
Why is this question asked in here every single week? Is there a way we can limit this question to a single day of the week?
Nope!
When I say I’m childfree, I truly mean it. 🙂
It appears that most of carefree women don’t change their minds. There is only one woman I know who changed her mind. My aunt (my uncle’s wife) didn’t want children, and they adopted 2 cats. In her early 30s, she decided to have kids. My mother doesn’t remember what changed my aunt’s mind.
Why have kids in your 20s? You’re young, free, and beautiful.
Kids are great, but they suck you dry of money, time, and energy.
I had my kids at 38 & 41. Best decision ever!
Well I’m the opposite, I always wanted a child and haven’t changed my mind. I can just not find anyone. It’s super ironic because on dating apps women who don’t want children seem to only attract the ones who want children who actively talk to them, yet me I attract the ones who don’t want them a lot seemingly.
Anyway sometimes it changes sometimes it doesn’t. I don’t see any chance right now of finding a man who can pull his weight and be a father though, that is the big problem. I would like to be pleasantly surprised but it seems to me a lot of people don’t want children
No. If anything the pandemic and rise in prices and all the single parents who are going through divorces and navigating custody (or trapped where ever they had children because custody) make me SO GLAD I dodged the baby bullet. For me I’m probably infertile but I never looked too deeply into that because I literally did not want to birth a baby. I remember a few partners threatening to put a baby in me and it made me avoid sex or being touched by them. Not mature but I didn’t know until my middle 30s that chilldfree was even an option, or even more, one men selected for themselves.
Yes, I did. I had sterilization surgery at 26, and at 36, I regret my decision. But I don’t want to do IVF. So I’m stuck with my decision, or adopt one day. But I am conflicted.
47 and no
You have so much time! Don’t even worry about this right now!
I changed my mind in the sense that I convinced myself I wanted kids in my 20s, tried (unsuccessfully) with my ex, and now in my 30s am SO GRATEFUL it didn’t happen. I have a step kid now whom I love unconditionally, but I never want biological kids.
A few of my friends were that way and had kids, and some didn’t.
One friend was with her bf for 10 years and always adamantly child free, got into a new relationship at 30 and had a kid with him about 2 years later. The friends who remained child free are usually hopping from relationship to relationship or single long term
Everyone’s lives and situations will be different. You might regret it, you might not
I did. I fucking hate that I did, when everyone kept insisting I’d change my mind. But it is what it is.
I was heavily parentified throughout my life -2 younger brothers, 9 younger cousins- and I’d always said I’d had enough of changing diapers and sacrificing for toddlers. Throughout my 20’s, I was dating a god awful man who had his under-disciplined daughter every few weeks. I was so sure I’d never have children. Turns out I just didn’t want kids with him. Baby fever didn’t hit until 29, when my life had changed financially, I had a great support system, and I wasn’t with someone who’d make me a single mother (unmarried or otherwise). Regardless, still no babies. I’m waiting until I finish my MBA/ a little more advanced in my career. Another year or two maybe.
I disagree with your Mom. There are probably some that have changed their minds but I think the majority don’t.
I’m 50 now. I have three cats; still no children. 🙂
Do you have a trust fund? Who is funding this child’s upbringing? It’s strange when ppl think you’ll change your mind without providing real support to help rear the child. I’ve gotten this so much and I just ask if they want to pay for them 😭
Nope, never changed my mind. Actually as I got older, I came up with a longer list of reasons why I don’t want kids lol A dog is enough for lol
I met my husband at 30. For the first time, I realized I might actually want to be married and have a child. So I did. I still STRONGLY dislike other children and am one-and-done and can’t imagine how anyone has more than one child.
My sister has been child-free since she was a child and will never change her mind.
I changed my mind after I met someone who I felt like I wanted to build a life with. I was single most of my twenties, and loved my life. Then I met my partner and I just changed my outlook. So it’s possible, but you’re the only one living your life so no one else’s experience really matters
Nope. 39 and will not be having kids and have no regrets.
If I had met the right person, I may have changed my mind. The person I am with, I cannot envision having children with. I’ve been with this person through my child bearing years and they will likely expire with this same person.
I had my first in my late twenties and my second in my early thirties. I won’t be having any more, though. When I was young, I thought I wanted 3 or more kids. 🤦
I’m 32 now. Did not, have not, and will not change my mind.
I turn 30 next week and I look at people with kids in their 20s as children having children, no regrets. That kid would be cooked if i did that before I was mentally and financially stable.
Fuck no.
Your Mum just wants grandkids and will say anything to get them.
I changed my mind. Probably around 32-33 I started really wanting a baby. That’s me though and may or may not apply to you.
I was absolutely did not want children. I turned 30 and met my husband and bam something changed. Now have one and one on the way.
Nope, and as the economy turns upside down, probably not.
Yes.. I even worked for a kids channel at that time and seriously loathed kids so much. In my 30s my mind was a lot more open, decided that if I really loved someone, I would want their kid. So here I am, 15 weeks pregnant 🙂
Technically I’m childfree, but I’ve always wanted a kid, and I still do now. I just have an extreme fear of pregnancy, and I have my doubts that I could find a loyal partner to parent with. I’d love to be a mom though 🙂
nope still living freely. With no intention to change that
I’m 32 but nooooope. Considering getting things removed so I can’t get pregnant
I’m 42, happily child free with my husband for 10+ years and we are both sterilized. Zero regrets.
I thought I wanted kids when I was in my 20s… but I wanted to put it off as long as possible, and had very few positive feelings about my impending motherhood. Finally after a short stint of trying to conceive (we paused when COVID came onto the scene) I realized I never really wanted them at all. When I admitted that to myself, I became a lot happier. I’m 36 now and am grateful every day to not have any kids.
Never changed my mind. I’m 35, and it’s only been heightened as I’ve gotten older. I’ve seen too many friends with husbands who do not pull their weight as fathers. Daycare is incredibly expensive. Several friends have had extremely hard pregnancies. The lack of knowledge and care for the 4th trimester/post partum care in this country is horrible. But really, at the core, I never wanted kids and I still don’t. I love my nieces and nephews and spending time with my friend’s kids; just don’t want them for myself.
I didn’t want them at all but I fell pregnant accidentally at age 24 and then tossed and turned about keeping it and I did, I think it was the right choice for me
Nope. 43 now still don’t want kids.
I literally never wanted to be a mother. Even as a child, I never played with baby dolls or pretended to make food for “my husband and kids.” I thought maybe I’d grow into it, but I’m 29 next month and have absolutely no desire to have kids, nor do I wish for that maternal instinct. As time passes and I teach other people’s kids and watch the people around me have kids, it further cements my decision not to do that lol
39F and nope. I had two procedures to make sure it will never happen.