In 7th grade, I was that guy who had 2 close friends(we were a trio). I used to talk to my classmates sometimes about random stuff but never made any friends. Me and my friends always used to sit together, we used to talk and laugh during lectures, but we never caused trouble for others. One day, the teacher separated the entire trio. I was made to sit next to a girl. She was nice to me. I let her copy notes sometimes. She helped me out too. I think we became friends then, we used to talk about movies, music, etc. Then other students started teasing me and her. They used to call us lovers and all. At first, I didn’t bother. But then, things started getting out of hand. They wouldn’t stop. They used to call me by her name when I passed by. I was really bothered by it. I tried to stop them. Even my friends stepped in to help, but it was of no use. One guy even wrote our name in heart on a bench with a marker. Then I completely stopped talking to her. I didn’t want to be teased by others. She noticed the change and came and tried to talk about it. I just told her to leave me alone. She didn’t have any friends. She was all alone. She had lost her mother, just 2 months before this happened. One could see that she was disturbed by that. She didn’t express it much, but one could tell she was hurt because of how I pushed her away like that. Soon, she changed the school. My friends later told me, what I did was wrong. I regretted it. I am now a First Year college student. I recently saw her while I was on my way to college. I do not know if she saw me, or if she even remembers me. But, I very well remember her and am ashamed of my previous actions. I wanted to go up to her and talk to her and wanted to apologize but I couldn’t. I just stood there watching her leave.
Comments
Idk why you’re still hung up on this. You were a 7th grader and have clearly matured. Learn to forgive yourself, it’s truly not that deep.
You were a child when this situation occurred and not equipped to deal with it well. If anyone should be ashamed it’s the people who teased you to the extent you felt you had to distance yourself from her.
It’s very likely that the change of school had more to do with her bereavement than the cooling of your friendship with her. She was probably dealing with a lot you were unaware of.
I think it would be good if you ever see her again to go and say hi and ask her if she is well, tell her you missed her when she left and that you always felt bad that at the time you were so affected by the teasing of others that you let it affect your friendship because you always liked and wished her well.
In the meantime feeling guilty about this serves no one least of all you, so you should acknowledge that you have a good moral compass that’s teaching you something here, and move past it.
You were young and getting teased by other people, what you did is understandable. A lot of people bow to peer pressure, give yourself a break and forgive yourself.
If you see her again, go and talk to her. You might find that friendship is rekindled.
Nut up and go say sorry then. Put your money where your mouth is, if you truly feel this badly.
Just try to be sincere, but like not too depressing or whatever.
Who knows? Maybe you guys could even end up becoming friends again?
I can tell a guy like you will end up being more sorry that you missed your chance in college in like 10 years.
I can relate to you bro even I cuss my old self sometimes, sometimes even if u have forgiven urself or moved past it,u always have that part of you that hates you previous self which basically means you’ve upgraded so,tbh it’s easy to say but hard to do but next time if you neet her just say that sorry for being that shitty guy and maybe if u want to be friends
Don’t pay attention to people trying to dismiss how you feel. Your feelings are valid and I would probably feel bad about something like that too. It just means that you’re growing. Forgive yourself you know that you were wrong and wouldn’t do something like that again.
As kids we do things like that, and I’m glad you owned up to it, it means a lot to see people like you out there. Just talk to her. I did that with some people I wronged as a child similarly in the past and it wasn’t so bad. They grow and they will hopefully understand and appreciate you more for that.
You made a mistake as a kid. Sometimes it happens.
If you ever get the chance to talk to her, apologize. She might not forgive you but it can help your heart.
I hope she healed after that situation.
Have you thought about looking her up and talking to her about it?
I did something similar but way worse.
I cursed out the girl who I had a crush on when I was 13, We were playing soccer as a class and she was so good, like crossed me repeatedly, and I was so impressed that naturally…I tried to bury my crush by cursing her out 🤦♂️ It must’ve come off that I was upset but it was the exact opposite.
Next time I tried talking to her she said “I don’t like you” and we never spoke again.
She had a rough time after, I saw on social media she was knocked up by some old dude when she was 14/15, had couple kids and then idk 😵
[deleted]
This is what social conditioning looks like. We’ve given so much importance to romantic relationships that kids tease you if you have a friend of the opposite sex. I’ve gone through something like that but I used to just brush it off but I did start to confuse if my feelings towards that particular person were platonic or romantic, I still do I don’t understand when I actually like a woman because I want to be friends with her or it’s a romantic attraction. Which has lead me to be in relationships where I should’ve just been friends and been in friendships because I wanted a romantic connection.
I think this is also the cause of disparity in our society between the sexes because we fail to become friends with the opposite sex and might have a hard time understanding their experiences and empathizing with them.
Honestly if someone has any advice on how to know if it’s a platonic or romantic attraction I am open to the help.
Good.
Take those feelings and grow as a person.
Is there any way to send her an email (you mentioned you saw her on your way to university, so I wonder if there’s a student email directory?)
You know what the right thing to do is, or you wouldn’t have written this post. Start out anonymously. When you meet face to face, say something like, “You look very familiar, did you go to XYZ school.” Respond with joy gratitude and happiness if it’s her. Then express very sincere apologies for allowing peer pressure to come between you.
Have fun!
Fact that this still bothers you tells a lot about you. You are good person with good moral compas and thats why you can’t get it out of your head.
I am sure that it would mean a lot to her if u aproach and apologize to her next time u see her. But it would mean even more to u you if you are anything like me.
Dont feel bad about something you werent grown enough to understand.. reaching out to her would be great. Everyone would feel great if someone apologizes if something bad was made to them. Me too. Would be healing for both of you.
You were children, and she was definitely more bothered by the loss of her mother than the loss of your friendship. Even if it upset her at the time, I doubt she still thinks about it, or even remembers this.
That said, if it is weighing on your conscience, reach out to her. She probably has a Facebook or something. Just message her and say “hey I’m not sure if you remember me, but I just wanted to apologize for …”
that guilt ur feelin is real, but u were just a kid under pressure. what u did wasn’t right, but it came from fear, not cruelty. if u ever get the chance, say sorry. even if u don’t, forgive ur younger self , he didn’t know better yet ❤️
Just go talk and confess like you did here you will happy like you were never before
I know how you feel because i hurt a few girl friends of mine, and years later, it still bugged me, so I called each one up and just apologized for what I did back then. And they were each receptive. It was a weight off of my shoulders because I’m not that person anymore. You should maybe try it.