For context we are both 17 and the baby isn’t even mine, she cheated on me. I have only ever had sex once and I lost my virginity to her after being pressured into having sex from my friends. she found out she was pregnant 7 and a half months later but she shows no signs of it at all so it couldn’t be mine if she’s so early into pregnancy and we used a condom so I don’t think it would be mine
I had been with her for a year and a few months and she told me the other night that she was pregnant, I was scared but I asked her when she took the test and she said it was 3 or 4 days ago atp I told her it couldn’t be mine and she needed to talk to her mom
I feel bad but i don’t want to fuck my life up over a baby that isn’t even mine am I the asshole
Comments
You should talk to your parents. This could get ugly.
You are not an asshole. You did the right thing advising her to talk to her parents to get adult help. This isn’t your problem to fix.
Cheaters get what they deserve. Prepare to defend yourself. Get a test
Talk to parents… like the other comment said. This can, and will, get ugly. VERY ugly.
this sounds like a fake post
I would still push to get a paternity test to verify it’s not your baby. But yeah, leave that hot mess.
You are not an AH. You are correct that this is a parental involvement level of problem. Is she saying the pregnancy is yours?
Your girlfriend or ex-girlfriend needs to see a doctor right away. There is a small chance this could be your baby. Se might be “hiding” the pregnancy in abdomen really well. Some women do.
Once the doctor helps establish how far along she is in her pregnancy, you will have a better idea of paternity.
You don’t have to stay with her in any scenario, but if it’s your kid, you need to still be responsible to the child.
I hope this is just a scare, but you guys need to get her to a doctor asap.
Sorry for being an echo chamber, but as others have suggested, definitely speak to your parents about this whole situation ASAP! Hell, I’d be so inclined to speak with her parents as well, but only after you’ve spoken to yours first. Unfortunately, this can, and more than likely will get ugly, so it’s in your best interest to get ahead of it all now. Do not let fear prevent you from speaking to your parents, and do not let her persuade you in any way, shape, or form. Also, do not post about this on any (other) social media sites/apps. Hell, I wouldn’t even text anyone about this, especially your (ex) girlfriend. Leave absolutely nothing behind that could potentially be twisted and used against you. I wish you the best in all of this!
You mean pregnant ex-girlfriend
OP is not the asshole
Talk to YOUR parents get them to get a lawyer and do a challenge to paternity as soon as possible before the baby is born and she puts your name on the birth certificate. IDK if they can still list you on the certificate without your consenting or not but it makes it easier to have that challenge already processed beforehand.
Get a paternity test done as soon as you can just so you can be 100 percent sure and have paperwork backing you up.
NTA. If the child is not yours then it is not your problem and you have zero moral ethical or legal obligation to make it your problem.
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This is why you need to keep your dick in your pants. Common sense would tell you if it’s yours or not based on how far along she is.
No, no you are not. You seem to be handling it in a mature way, keep doing so. You definitely will need a paternity test to make certain you are not the father and also to have that paperwork. The entire situation is a shitty thing for everyone involved and it will probably get worse before it gets better. Good luck to you young man….
You used a condom, it is not yours.
You basically have 10-months in most states to dispute it if she puts your name on the birth certificate. Talk to your parents. Them getting pissed off is minor in the grand scheme of things.
If you place yourself on the putative father registry, in most states, it will grant you some form of notification if you may be the father and she tries to file for child support or put the child up for adoption, etc. On the topic of child support, if she serves you absolutely make sure you respond as to not get a default judgement.
If she makes any claims you will simply ask or be asked to take a DNA test.
https://adoptioncouncil.org/resources-and-training/important-adoption-laws/putative-father-registries-state-by-state/
The state references adoption but it gives you various protections as an alleged father.
Also, yes, break up with her and cut contact. NTA. I guess I’d be aware that cryptic pregnancy is a thing and women can actually start giving birth before they realize it. It’s more common in young women and first time mothers.
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24428-cryptic-pregnancy
Court. There are dna tests you can get while she is still pregnant, but if those aren’t an option, the second that baby is born, get a court ordered dna test, NOT one she buys and makes you take. If the baby isn’t yours, end of story. Move on. If it is, peer pressure or not op, you had sex with someone, and pregnancy comes with risks. Time for both of you to grow up real fast, or she needs to terminate if she is not ready, which it sounds like she isn’t. If what you say is true, it doesn’t sound like the baby is yours. Another possibility, she isn’t even pregnant, and is trying to get attention. No matter what, you need to tell your parents. They can help you with this.
Nah ur not wrong. Time to heal man, dont even consider her unless shes willing to to be friends for a little.
DNA test.
If she cheated, NTA. But YTA for assuming the baby isnt yours. Condoms leak, break, or may have holes. Every time you have sex with a girl, always expect pregnancy. No matter if you or her used birth control. There will ALWAYS be a chance of pregnancy. Talk to your parents about getting paternity test.
Ghost her
It is unlikely the child is yours, but not impossible. Some women give birth without even knowing they were pregnant, but this is EXTREMELY rare so do not freak out.
If she cheated on you, you absolutely did the right thing. Cheating is not something I would advise redeeming as young as 17, it will lead to likely worse things relationship wise in the future for you. If this isn’t your baby would you really want to stay with someone who has a kid with someone else?
If she says it was you, in any capacity. ASK FOR A PATERNITY TEST. Most states cover them through the child and family support services office. At that point the results of that test determine if you are the father, not what she says not what her parents say what the test says.
I do not think this is your kid in the slightest OP but this is an adult situation and I want you to be prepared and know what to do and ask for.
Good luck. If you need any more advice around this let me know id be happy to chime in. You did the right thing in telling her to consult with her parents and not you.
No matter what happens things will work out and there are other women out there, from the sound of things though you may not be ready for a relationship at all and that is totally OK and normal for your age.
This bitch is crazy. She’s probably not pregnant and she’s just insane. Very, very few people find out they’re pregnant after 7 months. If you used a condom and it didn’t break you’re probably in the clear.
My advice is to stop talking to her immediately. When she contacts you, tell her not to contact you again until she provides proof of the pregnancy. When she contacts you again after you tell her to provide proof, remember that if she has proof, she’d have provided it. She’s just crazy and wants to suck you into her drama.
If she’s pregnant that’s another story, but I was young once and some women are psycho (especially young ones) and this one sounds nuts and is very, very unlikely to be pregnant.
That bitch has been watching too much Netflix bullshit and wants to create her own drama.
Nta. Get paternity tests so you can be ruled out. Talk to your parents for help in this.
It vould be yours. You don’t have to stay together but you better get a paternity test
“Baby isn’t mine and she cheated” NTA done
Condoms break, but she could also have been unfaithful. Sadly, you’ll never truly know until the baby is here. Tell your parents and explain your reasoning, but don’t freak out just yet. Be prepared for a tongue lashing from your parents, obviously. Then if she still claims it’s yours, ask for a paternity test. This can be done while the baby is still inside her.
You are not the AH. You should have a talk with your parents, and you should also get a paternity test just in case.
You could’ve stopped at “she cheated” and “baby isn’t Ben mine” and you’re automatically NTA for me
Paternity test , then move on if not yours.
Nah dude. You’re doing the right thing. You’re just a kid, definitely talk to your parents for support.
Time to talk to your parents so they can ensure you get a court ordered paternity test. GF may try to trap you by putting your name on the birth certificate.
No
how is babby formed?
Paternity test bro.
What teenage but needsto be pressured by friends into having sex with his girlfriend? Then does it once and never again in 7 months whilst still renaining in the relationship…this story has holes and isnt adding up
Yes you are
I hope you have an open relationship with your parents and she with hers. It’s isn’t always so black and white. These things can be scary for someone your age. Definitely talk to them if you can. You guys both need the guidance from here. I have a 17 year old sister and I tell her, don’t be saying or doing adult things if she isn’t ready for adult reactions and consequences.
Well you need to get a test to see if your the father. Maybe you are.
NTA. Talk to your parents. It’s perfectly okay to move on. In fact, it’s basically necessary.
You both need to talk to your parents, and like everyone suggested, take the paternity test to have a peace of mind before ruling out that the baby isn’t yours. Also, the ultrasound will have the estimated date of birth conception in which shall provide with an approximate of conception.
Good luck, and go get the maternity test!! Don’t delay!!
Talk to her parents and to your parents.
Some people show signs of pregnancy very late. Get the Ultrasound EDD from an obstetric sonologist. This might help you in court if things decidedly get very ugly if the baby isnt yours as you say.
Don’t sign anything if she asks you to pay for child support get a blood test women are sneaky
Tell your parents. It’s very likely that she’ll try and pin the pregnancy on you, so be prepared for backlash. Do not allow yourself to be pressured into ruining your life. She made a decision and clearly got pregnant by a loser, which is a problem for her and her family to solve not yours.
NTA.
NExt question.
Good luck boy you’ll be a man but it would not be pretty
I don’t condone littering but cheaters are really the trash you should leave behind
Nothing you wrote here gives us any evidence that she cheated, or that you have actually confirmed the baby isn’t yours. Until you have this proof, yeah YTA.
The baby’s not even yours so that’s a no brainer, NTA
Definitely not yours, and if she cheated there’s no coming back from that you’re right in leaving her. Chances of her cheating again are almost 100%
Talk to your parents. Request a paternity test.
Brother talk to your parents and lean on them during this time. It can get ugly so you want to protect yourself as best you can. Wishing you luck.
NTA. When bugged by them go for paternity test.
There is this interesting thing called “delayed implantation” in some mammals where the female’s egg can be fertilized by the sperm, but in times of stress/periods of food scarcity, the fertilized egg can delay implantation into the uterine wall to begin gestation, in some cases for up to 6 months! Isn’t that cool!? Nature is awesome. However, this is a phenomenon only known in certain species of bear and sea lions, so unless you’re lying about only having sex once 7 months ago, or your girlfriend is in fact a bear or sea lion, then the baby ain’t yours. NTA. Talk to your parents.