I saw my ex at a show and GOD GDHSBDJJS DAMMIT

r/

HE GOT A HAIRCUT THAT LOOKS SO. GOD. DAMN. HOT. He’s clearly been working out and wore a stupid fucking sleeveless shirt and I had to stop myself from staring. I know that we’re awful for each other and no part of me wants a relationship with him again but I cannot stop myself from being extremely attracted to him BECAUSE HE’S SO FUCKING HOT. And it’s so conflicting because I feel so much anger and discomfort around him because of the way he broke up with me which was super shitty and inconsiderate. He made me move out in a couple hours then blocked me, so all my things that I couldn’t pack in the two hours he gave me to leave either took months for me to get back or he got rid of them. HE GOT RID OF MY FUCKING PETS AND ALL MY PLANTS AND I WANTED TO MOVE THEM OUT. And a bunch of band shirts that meant a lot to me. All that on top of him taking a collective 3000 dollars from my savings that he said he’d give back. I could go on and on about the things I lost in that relationship but it’d be the length of a novel. I spent the last seven months thinking I was some horrible, evil person who deserved all this. It took a couple moments of almost taking my life and a whole fucking lot of therapy for me to realize that we were just two fucked up traumatized kids who never fucking liked each other and were as codependent as an alcoholic to beer. Pardon my swearing, but I’m very angry about how much of myself I lost to him. I still have very strong emotions towards him and I hate that one of them is an extreme, intense longing for his stupid sexy fucking body. HE WASN’T EVEN GOOD AT SEX. HE WAS SO SHIT AT PLEASURING ME I LITERALLY THOUGHT I HAD VULVODYNIA.
Ugh. Luckily it was a metal/hardcore show so I got to mosh with him and shove the shit out of him which was cathartic for the anger.
Fuck you, ex, for all that shit. And fuck my stupid instincts for finding you so damn hot still.

Comments

  1. applecalyptic Avatar

    I enjoyed the rollercoaster testimonial…

  2. applecalyptic Avatar

    New word of the day: vulvodynia

  3. paradox1920 Avatar

    I hate but you so hot but I hate but you so hot. I hotate you!

  4. mymfcinnamonapple Avatar

    You moshed with your ex??? Omg this whole read was a delight

  5. rainz7z Avatar

    This took a turn. I’m sorry he put you through that, but good on you for getting therapy and taking care of yourself. Karma will get his ass one day.

  6. nestsolar71 Avatar

    Get it all out babe. Angry ranting is what a branch of therapy should be.

  7. mastifftimetraveler Avatar

    At the end of this ride I landed with: hate fuck him. Bring a toy so you actually get off for once and then just walk out.

  8. swish465 Avatar

    Good of my chest post lmao, felt the spirit of it here.

  9. marasmus222 Avatar

    He got rid of your pets?! Na. F that.

  10. Meliodas016 Avatar

    No matter how hot, if someone got rid of my plants, pets, and t-shirts, that muderfker better watch their back for the rest of their life.

    Girl, you got some issues.

  11. MomsSpecialFriend Avatar

    I totally get this though, I saw my ex when I went to court against him a few months after we broke up. He had a modern mullet and it was fresh cut and he looked so fucking good oh my god. One thing that always bothered me is that he would not get his hair done, he looked like Albert Einstein for like 2 years. He’s probably fucking a hairstylist now lol. We obviously can never be together and he was also lame in bed, so it’s weird how much I’m also still attracted to him. Pisses me off.

  12. anxrudh Avatar

    Just because he’s good for your hole, doesnt mean he’s good for your soul. Stay strong sis.

  13. ThrowRaUsername08 Avatar

    Yeahhh that’s a hot flame that’ll just burn you 😭😭😭What kinda Gotham villain did you find OP that’s diabolical that his face card is the only thing that doesn’t decline (everything else will charge a bit too much- especially apparently your actual card😭😭😭)

  14. efowl Avatar

    Deafheaven??