Not sure why I feel like admitting this but I just wanna get it off my chest. Since I (18m) was around 13 or 14 I have been going on chat rooms like omegle, emerald chat, flingster, etc. and basically whoring myself out to any men that would give me attention. I’m not totally sure why I did as I always regretted it after, I guess I just like the attention I got. I would get naked and show them whatever they wanted to see while they “pleasured” themselves. If im being honest in the moment I liked it, I liked when they called my age hot or said things about how young I was. I still feel disgusting every time I think about what I did. Ive never told anyone which I guess is the reason I’m taking to Reddit. I’m fucked up and that’s all haha.
Comments
I’m gonna be honest a lot of people do this, I even did this when I was 9-12 or something, and I’m 16 now, it is embarrassing, but truly you should forgive yourself and try to move on, so many people go thru this, ur not alone, and ur not disgusting and fucked up trust me 🤞
Wtf did I just read?
Feeding peoples pedophelia and ending the sentence with haha – guess thats enough reddit for me today 👋
I did the same thing when I was 16-17 and my pictures got leaked onto Twitter… I ended up regretting it big time and didn’t do it since that lol
i kinda did this when i eas like 10-11 but without the pictures, i just would roleplay sex with older men idk what was going through my head
i’m sorry you had to go through that. the attention you get, especially as a teenager, can be heavily misinterpreted, blurring the lines between good attention and attention used to exploit you
i would recommend seeing a professional if you feel the need to discuss it with someone, but if you don’t feel that is the case, it is completely understandable, and i hope you find a way to move past all of it
Omegle was a wild time man
Seeking attention as a kid is normal, but it can lead to regret. You’re not “fucked up” just learning. Own it, learn from it, and move forward.
What’s sad and disgusting is there’s probably still screenshots or recordings floating around 😩
I did the same thing well kinda I was on the app
Kik and I was getting cat fished and I was wayyy too young to be on the app anyways and innocent and they knew how to ask for pics without just being straight up and I would do it and one day I told my mom my friends on kik love asking for funny pics and she was devastated and when I think about I’m soo embarrassed like omg where did the pictures goo
And this is why children shouldn’t have unfettered internet access.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s unfortunately very common for young girls, teens, and women to fall into this for a quick dopamine or adrenaline rush; or even just to feel desired or wanted, or even those just needed the attention. Or falling into patterns of abuse, coming from abuse. There are lots of reasons.
These men knew what they were doing the moment you told them your age. They are in the wrong. They took advantage of you. These predators are the ones that should be admitting to this and turning themselves in.
I did this too. From 11-17, I did this. Until 21, I did this. I was addicted to the feeling of older men complimenting me, getting off to me. I knew it was wrong, but I did it for a lot of reasons. I knew better and I did it, but looking back, I know I was being exploited.
Don’t be hard on yourself for it. Many people have done this, female, male, or otherwise. It is unfortunately common. I’m very sorry you have seen some of the worst in humanity, and you have my best wishes for the rest of your life.
Stray strong, stay in track, stay healthy, and stay safe. You’re always loved, wanted, and needed.
Seeking attention and positive feedback from adults as a kid/ teenager is totally normal. Many of us did weird things to get approval from others.
I think the reason may be insecurities or missing positive validations in school / from hobbies. That’s why your brain took everything it got, even if some part of you already knew that this is not good for you.
The good thing is that you are reflecting it now. And feeling regrett is not bad. Everybody has things to regrett. It’s just a sign that we mature.
Don’t beat yourself up for it.
We’ve all been there in one way or another. Forgive yourself now and let it go. You’re not the same person you were and tomorrow is a fresh start.
Same thing happened to me at 15, I’m 22 now. Every teen does stupid shit. What really bothers me is nearly every guy I spoke to was in his 20s and I made it very clear I was only 15, and they had no problem with it. It’s disturbing how easy it is for pedophiles to get in contact with children.
Man.. kids are so fucking dumb.
I think a lot more of us did this than people realize. We grew up in that age of the internet where nothing was monitored and internet safety was basically just “don’t give people your personal info.” With all of the media we consumed that revolved around sex, it’s no wonder we did what we did. We were exposed to SO MUCH and forced to grow up and recognize certain concepts like sex WAY too early.
Even now, the internet is largely a lawless place for kids and there’s nothing put in place to prevent this from happening. It’s not our fault for being given what felt like an anonymous paradise to act like an adult, nor is it our fault that we even KNEW how to engage sexually with another person from movies/tv.
Anyone who blames the child in ANY scenario is insane, let alone this one. It’s genuinely worrying to see comments here victim blaming.
Okay so here’s my take.
Did you know that the brain does not develop fully until the age of 25 ?
The last part to grow is the prefrontal cortex which is responsible for reasoning, emotional regulation, decision and planification making. So at the age you were when you did what you did, you were litteraly missing the physiological tools to be able to make correct choices over the feelings you were having the activity you chose was the “best choice” your brain found at the moment.
So to those saying this is shameful and putting blame on her, maybe you could learn something from that.
Blame it on the adult who has a fully developed frontal cortex yet still decided to do that and not therapy.
Blame it on the parents who weren’t there to guide her in her activities or in educating her about intimacy and everything to do with it.
Blame it on whoever put sufficient trauma in her life that this was her way of coping.
Now with that being said, maybe it wasn’t your fault but it is your responsibility now. What are you going to do about this ? Are you going to think about it with shame or work through it and learn from this experience ?
Wishing you the best
I did the same. You’re not alone. We all make mistakes and try not to beat yourself up over it. I used to love the attention I was given online.
There used to be a time when everyone (but the pedos) understood the child is NEVER to blame, because they are a fucking child! Y’all always want a perfect victim, well newsflash a lot of the time the victim is a victim after they made some stupid decisions. It doesn’t make the situation any less horrible, ESPECIALLY if those decisions were made by a MINOR. If you’re in these comments victim blaming or defending the pedos YOURE NO BETTER! Some of these comments really made me loose faith in humanity tonight.
Whats wrong with all of u ppl, how is it that a lot of u are saying “same”?? I was on the internet unmonitored early 2000’s when i was 11+ too.. i knew about everything going on in chat rooms and all the perverts, even i knew a few porn sites. But never have i ever thought of getting off from the perverts.. im in shock reading all the comments. I always thought, kids are naive and they could fall easily as pray, catfished by older men and lead on. But never knew that actually some kids were in on it as much as the older men. I wonder if there is a reason, an underlying cause that is common between those kids, or it is just random and some kids would just go this way if they could.
I thought this was just me..I did this at a young age up until my early twenties. For some reason it just felt good to show off, be an entertainer…I’m glad it didn’t end me up in a bad situation from it. Thanks for sharing and I’m sorry if you’re struggling with it.
It’s not to you to feel disgusting, it’s these guys who have being taken advantage of you who are disgusting. Don’t be ashamed and try to see a psychologist, it could help you even if it’s difficult to talk about it!
Good luck
It’s okay dear, Daddy understands.