No idea how to start. Please excuse spelling errors and grammar issues , English isnt my first language.ill probably take this down later , as im a bit embarrased.
Im currently sick and just lazing around. Cant really think straight. I dont really expect to be excempt from tasks at home , but i do wish someone could hold my hand and tell me its okay. I think that , that would be nice. Im not sure tho , i never really had that.
When my parents found out aboud my MH Issues, they made it all about themselves. They are ashamed of me and made that clear. Instead of asking if im alright , they look at me with disgust and ask if I put scar-fading cream on my scars . They know im suicidal, but laughed when i told them (Ouch).
I needed to be comforted aswell, I wanted to be hugged. But instead of my parents arms , it was my own that always comforted me.
Because of various mental health issues , ive been struggling in school and generally. The cognitive decline , through depression really hit me hard. From an equivalent of a 4.0 GPA to 3.5. I know its not a big drop, but for me it is. Its small , but ive been raised to see my worth in grades.
Soon a Diagnosis process will start . I think its for Depression and things like ADD , which runs in my family. Im scared of the confirmation that something is ,,wrong” with me.
I just hope that someone can tell me , that its fine that im doing the bare minimum and that idk theyre proud of me for holding on this long.
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Great big virtual hug to you, from this internet stranger who is a mom. I’m proud of you – for your resilience, and for being you. There is nothing wrong with you.
I’m very proud of you, dear. You’ve been through so much and still holding on. I really recommend to get yourself a plant, pet anything small you can take care of. It would give you more motive to push on 🫂