My sister and I have always had mutual friends, but over the years, I noticed a pattern—people often fall out with her, and I tend to follow suit, even when I’m not involved. She has great qualities but can also be emotionally immature, draining, and sometimes toxic, especially with close friends, family, and relationships.
She expects unconditional loyalty, even if it was her choice to stop being friends. Recently, she had a falling out with a mutual friend who was a bridesmaid at my wedding. I didn’t think it warranted ending the friendship, but she demanded I do the same. I tried to explain that while I support her, I don’t think I should be forced to cut ties. She called me horrible names, sent me hurtful messages, and ultimately gave me an ultimatum: drop this friend or be get out of her life.
I love my sister, and our relationship is important to me, but I don’t think it’s fair to be forced into this choice. AITA?
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My sister and I have always had mutual friends, but over the years, I noticed a pattern—people often fall out with her, and I tend to follow suit, even when I’m not involved. She has great qualities but can also be emotionally immature, draining, and sometimes toxic, especially with close friends, family, and relationships.
She expects unconditional loyalty, even if it was her choice to stop being friends. Recently, she had a falling out with a mutual friend who was a bridesmaid at my wedding. I didn’t think it warranted ending the friendship, but she demanded I do the same. I tried to explain that while I support her, I don’t think I should be forced to cut ties. She called me horrible names, sent me hurtful messages, and ultimately gave me an ultimatum: drop this friend or be get out of her life.
I love my sister, and our relationship is important to me, but I don’t think it’s fair to be forced into this choice. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I tried very hard last summer when I came home because I live across the country to be respectful and understanding of her feelings without cutting people out. I told her beforehand and we had a very long conversation and it doesn’t seem to matter how much I am trying to be mature and communicative. She will not be happy and content until I follow every single thing she’s asking of me to do I even went to dinner in December again with them not until I had another three hour conversation with her, trying to explain and be understanding when we were at dinner. She went onto her boyfriend‘s account to see if the friend she’s no longer friends with posted anything and when she saw that this friend posted a Instagram story She lost her shit and said we were bullying her because posting without her there means everyone knows they’re not friends which I don’t think it’s true but clearly it’s upsetting to her and I don’t want her to be upset. She then continue to text me the entire night with single letters telling me how I need to take a class on empathy and that I’m the worst person to ever exist ever I try to keep my calm and not say anything except I love you and let’s talk about it tomorrow because I know she wants that reaction And then when I wasn’t responding, she called me and was screaming like she was being murdered how I am so many profanities and just the worst person to exist ever ever since then she has not spoken to me except through sending me TikTok links telling me how I’m a horrible person and won’t have an actual conversation despite my actions to figure things out with her.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Sounds like you have to set boundaries with your sister. It’s not a fair situation. She’s being unreasonable and controlling. Any chance she’ll calm down after some time and you can have a civilized conversation about this?
This is unacceptable behaviour. Very juvenile. You can support her without cutting ties with a close friend. NTA
NTA
What your sister is demanding is totally unreasonable and controlling. If you give in, it will leave a crack in relationship that may not mend.
I get along great with my siblings but if any of them threaten me with ultimatum, that will be deal breaker for me.
Hopefully you can deflect it until her anger subside a little and she’ll be calmer but if she still insist her way with threat like that, I personally will not give in to threat.
What happened with the friend? Did she sleep with her boyfriend or steal money??
NTA
If your sister is ultimately falling out with everyone around her then SHE is clearly the issue and nobody else
Why should you end friendships on a constant basis because she finds something to pick a fight with them over?
Once she realises nobody else will put up with her drama and people don’t want to hear how she’s always the victim she’ll be back…..People like her always are
Blood isn’t thicker than water.
I’ve had to cut ties with my sister 6 years ago because of toxic behavior it’s hard but it was the right decision for me