Why are cheaters terrified of being cheated on?

r/

Apparently, this is a common pattern where they are accusing their partners of cheating on them and being extremely afraid of it being true? I’m thinking, shouldn’t they feel like they can have anyone, not caring about losing their significant other?

Comments

  1. AliciaWrites Avatar

    In my opinion, it’s because they know how easy it is for them to do, and they project that onto the people they’re romantically involved with.

  2. Lost_Needleworker285 Avatar

    Because there’s something wrong with them mentally 

  3. strickeula Avatar

    They’re living in fear of their own actions catching up to them. Justice is coming, Guilty conscience = major paranoia. 😂

  4. momjjeanss Avatar

    I know the term is often overused these days, but I think a lot of cheaters are also narcissists or at least have narcissistic traits. Narcissists at their core are deeply insecure. That’s the driving force. I think most cheaters are afraid of being cheated on because then the tables have turned and they’re the one lacking control. And for a person who is wildly insecure, someone else having the upper hand is very unsettling.

  5. Environmental-Day778 Avatar

    Every accusation is a confession

  6. RoastAdroit Avatar

    They arent terrified of it, they want to feel absolved of their own wrongdoing. If they can find or push their partner into cheating then they dont have to feel bad about having cheated themself.

  7. Forward-Lecture-7367 Avatar

    Control they’re manipulators.

  8. Mekoides1 Avatar

    Rule #1 of being a piece of shit – accuse your victim of doing the thing you’re doing to them.

  9. JoBunk Avatar

    In short, selfish people cheat. And they can only imagine other people are also selfish. So they assume others will cheat on them.

    This is why unselfish people who do not cheat also do not forgive or give cheaters a 2nd chance. Because unselfish people cannot imagine what being selfish is like.

  10. Visible_Bumblebee_47 Avatar

    They expect others are exactly like them.

    Its like dogs. They bark at absolutely everyone that passes because they themselves are thieves given the opportunity so they assume every passerby is also a thief.

  11. Additional-Mix-7665 Avatar

    Because we are afraid of feeling our actions, facing reality is like a mirror, it hurts more than anything and makes the emptiness we already have bigger.

  12. JazzyJ712 Avatar

    I figure they are scared because they can dish it but can’t take it. 🤷🏿‍♀️

  13. TheAlterN8or Avatar

    Idk if you noticed this in other people, about other things, but people often get the most defensive and outraged about things they, themselves struggle with. For example, liars always accusing others of lying, or, in your example, cheaters accusing others of cheating. I think, in part, it comes down to them knowing that that’s what they would be doing, in the situation, and assuming everyone else thinks and behaves the same way.

  14. ponderingnudibranch Avatar

    Because they don’t like it being done to them but they justify doing it because “everyone does it”.

  15. trextra Avatar

    It’s important to note that paranoia about being cheated on is NOT evidence of being a cheater, though.

  16. No_Salad_68 Avatar

    Misdirected guilt.

  17. Jarjarfunk Avatar

    From my experience talking with cheaters on a regular basis it’s normalized by there parental experience as children or they were cheated on and insecurity leads them to cheating. Also having been cheated on the urge was stronger to cheat going forward in future relationships till I dealt with my mental.

  18. sebastian0328 Avatar

    Thieves always worry about their stuffs getting stolen.

    Dad who screwed around girls is a lot more strict on their daughter

  19. dog_champ Avatar

    Pure projection. In my opinion when people usually accuse someone of something, there’s a 60% chance it could be projection. Whenever I judge someone i try to stop and think if it’s projection

  20. yannols Avatar

    cognitive dissonance

  21. Livid-Cat4507 Avatar

    They’re projecting. Because they cheat they assume others are equally as capable of it.

  22. 17_shades Avatar

    Guilty conscience. They cheat so they are afraid you will cheat.

  23. satoshisfeverdream Avatar

    You view the world through your own lense as it were.

  24. Lovely-sleep Avatar

    Narcissists are actually very insecure, I think this helps explain it. A lot of cheaters are incredibly selfish, they’ll disregard everyone around them but only want good things for themselves.

    A narcissistic person also craves validation and attention, which could push them to want to cheat in the first place

    If someone treats them like disposable garbage, betraying them and making them seem stupid while also choosing someone else over them, it knocks down their house of cards they’ve been trying to build to feel better about themselves.

    Their life revolves around trying to feel good about themselves and feel better than others and getting cheated on destroys this

    Source: I cheated on a cheater and he wanted to die lol

  25. Black_Ribbon7447 Avatar

    Because they are narcissists.

  26. kat_buendia Avatar

    There are cheaters who are not afraid of being cheated on because they think they already know how the world works; if it happens, then so be it. Move on na lang. And then there are cheaters who, kahit malinaw na may mali, don’t feel terrified or guilty, because what they found didn’t feel wrong. It felt right in a way that confused them. They didn’t plan it, didn’t chase it, but they slipped into something they couldn’t explain. It wasn’t about lust or thrill. It was about a kind of connection they didn’t expect to feel outside the relationship they were in.

    These are the kinds of cheaters who aren’t driven by selfishness, but by a craving for something pure; comfort, understanding, or peace of mind. Hindi sila takot na mai-cheat pabalik, kasi sa totoo lang, hindi rin nila ginusto yung nangyari. They just found themselves in a moment where everything felt so real, and for once, they felt seen. Maybe it was wrong in the eyes of the world, but in their own eyes; it made sense. At least for that moment.

    And that’s the tragedy of it all, some people cheat not because they’re empty, but because they finally felt full. And sometimes, that kind of cheating hurts the most.

    I hate cheating and I want all cheaters to feel terrified. I’ve seen my father and mother cheated on each other. There was no fear whatsoever. This left me in the state of understanding people and why they do what they do.

  27. chinese_rocks Avatar

    Some people that cheat fear being hurt. So they keep other potentials at the ready so all of their eggs aren’t in one basket. If they get cheated on it’s a blow but they get affection from others to compensate. Very often they cause their worst fears to come true because they can’t commit fully.

  28. MarcCouillard Avatar

    the exact reason cheaters think they are going to be cheated on is that they think if THEY are the type of person who could cheat, then EVERYONE must also be, totally not the case at all, but to their brain is the only possible logical outcome, if they are that bad then everyone else must be

  29. Alceasummer Avatar

    Many people who cheat do it in part because it makes them feel powerful, in control, and desired. But being cheated on makes people feel vulnerable, rejected, and like things are out of their control. When you add in the fact that people often on some level think other people think and feel they way they do, and selfish people especially assume other people want and feel the the same things and same way as themselves. You can see how someone who’s cheating to feel powerful and desired, would be scared that they were being cheated on.