NSFW
So, technically this isn’t today I fucked up, but I wasn’t really sure what subreddit to put this on. For some backstory, it was always my dream growing up to be a TV actor. I attended theatre school instead of regular secondary school growing up, and began working towards getting an acting degree at University. I dedicated most of my life to this passion. However, after beginning my first year at Uni, I had a realisation.
When I was younger (a minor, might I add) I was coerced into sending explicit pictures to someone, who then saved them and shared them online. I never saw them online, and no one else did that I knew of either, but I was made aware that somewhere in the deep corners of the internet, they existed. I had tried to block this out of my memory and look past it because there wasn’t anything I could do, but as soon as I started to take actual steps in my career I realised I couldn’t do it anymore. If I did manage to succeed and became a successful TV actor, my nudes would become public. My anonymity is the only thing that keeps them undiscovered. This realisation meant that I decided I could no longer pursue my lifelong passion, because success in my career would bring turmoil in my private life.
Is this stupid? I feel so ashamed and disgusted with myself for being so naive when I was younger, and am gutted it has cost me my dream.
TL;DR: Gave up on my childhood dream because I made horrible mistakes when I was a teenager.
Comments
Nah. You should keep on trying to become an actor if that’s what you want. Some online nudes shouldn’t stop you from achieving your dreams. IF they were ever found, you say what you said here: you were a minor, you were coerced, and they were shared against your will. Anyone worth anything shouldn’t judge you for that. And frankly… Hollywood has seen far, far worse.
Imagine talking to someone who says they’ll never date or get married because they were raped as a teen.
Having child pornography shared somewhere on the internet is not you’re fault. Your whole life should not be ruled by someone who betrayed your trust and committed a felony using pictures of your body.
You are not your past, and your life is not some pervert’s to control.
Plus, look at all the famous actresses/actors who have had nudes leaked without their consent. Their careers are fine.
Get therapy and don’t give up on your dreams.