I know this can just depend on the week in some cases but just looking for a general ballpark. For example, once a week, 2x a month etc. Feel free to note if you have kids or not too because I feel like that definitely does change things
Women in relationships: how often do you spend time with friends without your partner there?
r/AskWomen
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Rarely, mostly because my friends live 500km away and those we meet more frequently are mutual friends, so I prefer spending time with everyone together.
And my shifts are hellish, so meeting friends is difficult anyways (writes the person doing 6 late evening shifts in a row).
Probably once a week, on average? We don’t have kids.
i try for weekly, even if it’s just coffee or a walk
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We have a daughter. I’d say once a month for a big night out. Then a few times throughout the month for dinner, gigs etc. In a few weeks doing a 2 day festival with friends. My husband also sees his friends a similar amount.
Never, I don’t have really any friends outside of the friends we have together. No kids.
Pretty regularly. We have the sorta party house so we always have people over to swim, cook, hang out in the jacuzzi, etc. etc. plus all of our kids are about the same age. We put a Nintendo switch in the backyard for the kids which ironically the adults seem to play more.
Last time I went out out was about a month ago for a friends birthday dinner. We’re also an active bunch. We play pickleball, beach volleyball, me and my husband own 2 jet skis that we use a lot come summer, there’s a rocks climbing gym close by, a few beer gardens, the list is long. My inner circle is 7 of us. We all live relatively close by, 2 of which are literally a few blocks away in opposite directions so we’re never far away. The kids play well together, we have plenty of things to keep us and them occupied, it just works and that’s the tone and dynamic of my group.
My husbands group is similar but there’s like 11 or 12 of them and they’re way more wild than we are.
No kids, not living together (intentionally), maybe twice a week? Some weeks more, some less. But usually when he’s at work and we wouldn’t be able to hang out anyways.
Pretty regularly, once a week maybe brunch on Sundays? For a big night like a concert or w girls night maybe twice a month.
It depends.
Sometimes we shared a social group, so we’d spend time with mutual friends together more often.
Sometimes our friends groups did not overlap so we were often solo with our friends.
I don’t have kids. Most of my friends live over 300 miles away.
Pre baby-once every other week or so
Post baby-our daughter is almost 4mo and we just had our first girls night. Planning once a month for now.
1-2 times a week maybe. he comes with me other times.
we don’t live together yet so usually on the nights when I’m alone. he also doesn’t like going out as much as me so doesn’t always join when invited. also our friend group is mixed genders usually. he also hangs out with his guy friends alone pretty often, they play basketball and softball nearly every week. he always wants me to join them afterwards if they go out.
Once a month usually, depending on the friend. But honestly, I only see my friends without my boyfriend. He’s welcome to be there, but I already don’t see my friends often.
We don’t live together and we don’t have kids.
Hmm… good question. It really depends on the month and which particular friends I’m hanging out with.
There are friends that I only hang out with if my boyfriend is there (his friends, for example), and some friends where I basically never bring my boyfriend to hang with. So I’d say maybe once a month? Or once every other month?
About 40% of the time that I’m with friends? It’s not super often but only because my friends are literally always busy and it’s hard to get together if it’s not scheduled way in advance like d&d which my husband comes to
All the time. Multiple times per week, rarely every day of the week.
All the time. Like several times a week. We don’t have kids, and we both have our own hobbies and interests aside from the ones that we like to do together. For me this is the best of both worlds.
My partner and I are both part of a larger group of friends (like 9 ppl including us) so a lot of hangs involve both of us. But, I also have a few close girl friends in that group I see often without him, like 1-3 times a week probably?
At most like once a month. I don’t have kids
A couple times a month probably? Most of our time spent socializing with friends is with mutual friends.
We have one child who is 2.
Probably not as often as either of us should, honestly. We try to pry ourselves away from each other a few times a month. It’s a bit hard when we’ve kind of all become friends with each other’s friends though, lol. We have a mixed group at this point and we all just hang out, typically.
Often, actually most times. We have been in a relationship for 5 years and we don’t live together. We have 6 kids between us, same custody schedule (50/50).
If I go to dinner with friends, he doesn’t come with us, maybe monthly
I regularly have meals (lunch/dinner) with friends without him, a few times per month
I am part of a board game group that he has no interest in, weekly
He goes snowboarding with friends in the winter, maybe monthly
We currently don’t have any couple friends and I don’t know how that will change in the future or if it will. I have found that I like having alone time.
We don’t have kids, we live together. Two days a week, I see friends without him. Once a week, he spends time with his friends without me. Once a week we spend mutual time with mutual friends.
Rarely. I have tea time once or twice a year and sometimes I’ll attend a random event, but my focus has been my husband and our 2 young kids lately. The only things I do solo these days are doctors appointments.
At least once a week. We live together but have different work schedules and my partner isn’t very social anyway. We don’t have kids
Almost never. I have a few friends that I see maybe once per year as they don’t live close. I don’t really have local friends, other than my work colleagues, who I genuinely enjoy, but during the work day.
Outside of that, my husband, grown children, parents and sisters take up most of my free time.
Plenty of times. I would say at least once a week, sometimes more often (with different social groups).
I expect this to change with a baby for a while to every other week or so but not forever.
I feel it’s on a regular basis. We don’t have kids, and we have separate friend groups. So I’d say a few times a month. Maybe even once a week.
Usually, twice a week. And I also get in some alone-time once a week. Maybe 2-3 times a year, I go for a weekend with friends only as well. Have to. We would both go crazy if we didn’t take time to just hang out with our friends on our own.
ETA – we do not have kids.
A couple times per week. Our daughter is in college, so that helps.
I unfortunately do not see my friends that often, like maybe once a month. But it is always one on one. I don’t invite my partner unless its a double date.
Mmh… maybe a couple times a month to once a week ? I have lunch with friends during work days or hang out after work. We also have a couple we are friends with and hang out just the 4 of us once a month on a weekend usually.
Last year I went on a weeklong trip to Japan with some girlfriends (and without him). He’s gone to visit his family back to the US without me for a couple of weeks as well – we’re pretty chill.
No kids. No super social people. He moved away from his country so he doesn’t have friends physically here but he games with his friends Saturdays and Sundays afternoons unless we have something else planned.
99% is the time I hang out with friends my husband is not there.
I have kids, but they are older and don’t need me to be home.
In April I met up with friends 6 times. This doesn’t count a party my husband and I hosted and a dinner we attended with another couple.
Right now I have 3 meetups with friends for this month. It’s a little less right now due to a vacation and some other things I had planned.
On average I’d say 4-8 times a month.
At least once a week, sometimes 2x a week. My friend group and I try to plan a get together at least 2x a month depending on our busy adult schedules. No kids & we live together.
No kids. Try to see friends 1-2x days out of the month. Mostly because my social battery is pretty low and if I have a lot of life stuff going on I just want to be alone.
Typically my husband and I do not hang out with each others friends. We have a few friends that we share but mostly we do our own thing with our friends. My husband and I have been together since 1997 and have always had different hobbies and interests. We don’t have kids so it’s been very easy for each of us to have our own lives within our marriage. It works for us
My best friend lives 30 mins away [which isn’t far, around here] we share a weekly shift, but we maybe hang out once every other month [without our spouses] MAYBE. That’s a general estimate, ballpark as you said.
My friends have abandoned me after i got married so, never.
Somewhat often. My partner works shifts and I dont see a reason to stay home if he’s working and I have a chance to go out.
Weekly. We’re empty nesters and I’m retired so I have plenty of time to spend with friends while husband works.
Quite often. At least once a week.
It was 2-4x a week when he was working evening shifts. Nowadays 1x-2x a week on average and we spend time with mutual friends together otherwise. No kids, late 20s, live within a 20 min drive to most of our friends etc
Well right now, because I live in my hometown (not always the case, my husband and I have jobs where we are often stationed overseas), I see friends weekly (and so does my husband). Our kids are older (teens). There have definitely been years when my friends and I were all in the baby/toddler phase where I think it was maybe once a quarter that we could manage it and obviously when I am overseas and don’t know anyone it’s like, never, until I make new friends. Definitely helps when you don’t need to coordinate a babysitter etc.
Maybe once a month, give or take. No kids.
We have a lot of mutual friends and both of our personal friend groups from before we got together love each of us so we often bring each other to most things.
Almost never. I prefer my husbands company to that of my friends. I have lunch with them but when my hubby is home from work, we are inseparable. I never really understood ‘girls night out’. All my friends are married and I think, “wouldn’t you rather hang out with your husband?”
At least 1-2 times a week. We live together and have no children yet. I attend a Zumba class a couple days a week and see my family regularly.
Once a year…
Never
I don’t have any friends other than my boyfriend. I mean, I do, but they are long distance. I’m trying to put myself out there this year and make new friends
it’s rare, but it isn’t unlikely. when my best friend and i used to work together, we’d hangout pretty frequently after we left. life is a little busier now, so it’s harder to pull away to see each other
However often I see my friends. I usually see them alone and she sees her friends alone. I would say us hanging out with each others friends may be like once a month or less.
Not often but mostly because I don’t have many friends in my town. Back when we still lived in our home town id say a few times a month probably.
Weekly. I prioritize girlfriends over men
Like once a month lol we have the same friends pretty much though, so we usually go together when we hang out. Every now and then I will have a friend come over and spend the day with me though.
Very rarely.
But it’s not because of me or my boyfriend.
My boyfriend encourages me to spend time with my friends. I do reach out to my friends to meet up.
My friends are always busy with their girlfriends.
About once a month, sometimes more or less depending on life, but that’s because my partner and I mostly have shared friends related to shared hobbies that we do weekly! We’ve been together about 2 years and were friends with shared hobbies and a mutual friend group before we started our relationship. There’s no pressure to always be with each other when seeing friends and he’s always happy about me seeing my personal friends without him, that’s just how it’s worked out for us and how much time I have outside of work, visiting local family, and weekly planned hobby time.
Edited to add, no kids.
Married 12 years, 1 kid (7yo).
Depends on the friend. I hang out with friends a few times a week, but it’s different people. Only one of them (we see them weekly, every other week) is with my husband there normally, but that’s because the husbands are also best friends. Otherwise, the other friends are our neighbors (me and the wife like to hang out after kid bedtime and knit/crochet), she has 3 kids), or my BFF/”sister” who is single and childfree and a homebody, so I drag her out for lunch once a month or so.
Never. I have a sister and two female cousins and we’re all within 2 years of each other and we grew up as best friends. We see each other 2-3 times a month as a group for family parties, and partners are always present and are just part of the friend group now.
No friends who live close by. So maybe once or twice a year.
No kids.
Like 3-4 times a week, if not more. I have a teenager, but it’s always been this way. I’m more social, he’s happy at home alone.
Everything from 0 to 4 times a week. Usually 2. we don’t have kids.
Usually 2x per week for game related hobbies. We don’t have any children.
Rn none cus my best friends live in different countries:(
All the time. I’ve made my platonic relationships a big priority.
I was married and divorced in my late twenties. It made me realize that I was being lazy about making and maintaining my friendships and I didn’t have many people around when I got divorced. I made building a community a top priority and when I met my now husband, I never let his schedule impact my ability to spend time with friends.
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50 F. When the kids were younger, not much. As they got older, 1-2 twice a month. My friends have always been important to me.
Now, most of the time ( my husband died, 8 years ago, my kids are grown). My new relationship, he golfs and fishes a lot so I hang out with my girls 😊
I’m the type of person who believes your partner doesn’t need to be invited everywhere everytime. I think it is nice if your partner and friends get along very well, but you should be making sure to spend time with both parties alone. regarding friends, they aren’t just YOUR friends, you are THEIR friend (not your partner). make sure to be there for your friends!
Not that often but not any less than I saw them before my bf and I got together. My friends are much busier than I am sadly.
2-3x a week? I have a run club and a bike “club” that I go to every week. No kids!
Comically rarely (every… month or three? maybe?) because neither of us hardly ever leaves the house. >_>
I think possibly a more useful measure to compare between households might be ratio: of the times I attend some manner of social activity, what fraction of them is it by myself vs as a couple? Probably half-ish.
I go to volleyball 2x a week and my husband stays with our kids. It starts right around their bedtime so he puts them down and I got play for a couple hours.
I think it’s actually pretty rare that I spend time with friends with my partner there.
Once every week or two, only because I’ve grown close to some of my coworkers and we go bouldering together at about that frequency.
My main friend group that I grew up with only catches up every 3-4 months, and individually we only see each other max every 2 months just because of our busy schedules. My partner is always invited to these thing but isn’t always free/wants to hang out with his mates which is always fine by me. He attends when he wants to and does like a lot of my friends company (he’s actually closer to one of them than I am now haha)
Maybe once or twice a month 🙂
Mostly just at work. I’m a home body and don’t like to go out much, plus I find interacting with other people except for my husband and kids taxing. I’ve gone out with friends a few times here and there but for the most part unless I’m doing something with just the kids he’s there too.
More solo than with him.
I spend more hours with my friends in a week than with my partner (not including us sleeping and not interacting). It’s working good for now. We’re both very independent and not living together yet.
If I’m socialising (rare), then maybe 50-80% of the time.
Definitely not once a week… I (hardcore introvert) wouldn’t and didn’t even do that without a partner. I’d say it’s probably closer to once every 1-2months. Which is much more than I did when I was single ftr. But at the start of the relationship. I did socialise more in general, and would be going out maybe 3-4times/week, and pretty much all of those would be with my SO there (he’s much more social/extroverted than I am).
We spend the majority of our time together but have different friends groups. Syncing our schedules with friends can get tricky.
However my closet three friends live close by. They usually come over several times a week. With other friends we all have Spa day a few times a month.
His brother basically lives with us. I consider him a friend and spend time with him all the time.
At least twice a week, but a lot of those meetups are runs with friends from my women’s only running club. I see my bestie at least once every other week without my husband (or her boyfriend) around.
Usually once or twice a week
Firstly what friends, lots of people don’t have friends.
I used to meet up with friend, now she’s on her 3rd child. We would meet up once a month or every 6 weeks. we are at different stages in life. & I know some people will never stick around.
I go swimming with my best friend every week. I probably see one or other of my friends every couple weeks.
Not too often because they all have kids but every once in a while. I’m lucky in that my friends still check in on me despite their busy lives but getting together is challenging. But when we do make plans, they always come through.
3-6x a week. I have a lot of play dates with my toddler, but it definitely ebbs and flows.
Some weeks I won’t even bother to go out or be social.
We live out of state from all of our friends so hardly ever 🥲
If I spend time with friends my partner is never there. I want my friendships separate from my relationship. But it’s not often because I’m very antisocial 😅
I try to do it twice a week, however i think my case is exceptional because my partner prefers alone time and i prefer to do things in companionship, so I usually try to go out with my friends. Also we don’t have kids and we follow a very independent couple lifestyle
Way more than I do with him around! He’s a square. I’m not
Probably once a week? That’s if I am feeling to go out. No kids.
Quite a bit. My husband and I both have our own set of friends we can hang out with and neither of us intrude or demand to be a part of it.
Very regularly. Heck, I’ll be travelling with friends, some of them guys, as well. My partner and I have common friends we have a game night with weekly, but we also have our own friend groups too, related to our individual interests.
No kids living with us. My partner has a daughter from a previous marriage who he regularly sees but whom I’ve never met. We’ve been together for 15+ years too, if that matters.
Most of the time I spend with my friends is without my partner. I only really bring him along on double dates or if I want him to meet someone new.
Regular. Atleast every 2 weeks, or sometimes even weekly depends on our schedules. I go out with my guy (gay) bff and I do stay over for a night or 2 nights sometimes.
My partner is such an introvert and we never joined each others’ friends hangouts
A few times a week and I bring my baby most of the time unless he is with his dad.
Basically everyday. My partner lives in Austria and I live in Switzerland. The only time I see him is in the Summer and sometimes in April or October, depends
Pretty rarely, I don’t have many friends and the one I hang out with the most is friends with my boyfriend too, so we usually all get together to do something.
Several times a month, I don’t have children.
I have kids, work full time and I’m in school so once or twice a month usually.
As regularly as possible for 4 girls with 4 different careers and 4 different romantic statuses. Which is like twice a month as a group and as many calls and texts as needed individually