Say you meet someone at an event/bar/blind date, etc. for the very first time, how do you (assuming you do) infer something about their sexual history/prowess, or just in general, their romantic ‘success’?
Example: classic player (smooth and unctuous), impressive person (probably successful ), ‘average’ person (typical history), unfortunate person (probably not very successful), or N.A. (wonder if they’ve ever had an SO).
And how has this affected your subsequent interactions/history with them?
Comments
I don’t do it during the first meeting. Over time, things about the past will come up.
I never had those types of discussions on a first date.
I don’t think it’s any of my business when I first meet someone. Or most of the time afterward, honestly.
That isn’t even on my radar until I get to know them better. Honestly, I couldn’t care less about that. I just care that we are compatible when the time comes. The first meeting is not that time.
I have never cared about this.
hmmm, i’d probably just use my big girl words and ask them outright, instead of inferring anything.
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I don’t really care about their history, and usually infer their prowess or experience by how they behave. Are they attentive and caring, then they might translate that to bed, if they are a blunt communicator, they might easily listen to suggestions too etc. Although I can honestly say, this method doesn’t really work, because sex is just different from life for some people, they might be blunt, but squeamisg when talking about such things. They might look like am introverted accountant, but be super dominant and kinky as compensation. At least in my experience, which is honestly limited.
I just browsed your post history and it looks like you continually ask the same question. What’s the story behind it?
I generally don’t even think about someone’s intimate history until I’m dating them.
This never comes up when first meeting or >3 dates. From that point and beyond I feel like I kinda get an idea, but never really cared as long as we click. (And if it’s getting serious I’ll do a background check to make sure everything checks out)
I don’t. That would be very strange to me.
I would never ask during the first meeting. My priority on first dates are getting the gist of someone—their personality, interests, sense of humor, etc. And even then, first dates hardly count. It’s just really an intro.
I think your examples are really putting people in boxes and everyone has a different story.
I also don’t really care about someone’s last relationships early on. If they make in a point to bring up up being recently single is one thing, but I don’t need a layout of their history at all. I don’t need to know those details of their life and I don’t want to focus on that.
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That on a first date seems really inappropriate to me.
I don’t care what someone’s sexual past/history was… all I care about is if we connect sexually.
When meeting someone new, you can get a sense of their romantic history through their confidence, body language, and how they talk about past relationships. A smooth talker might seem like a player, while someone shy might be more reserved. If they speak openly about past partners without bitterness, it suggests maturity. The way they engage in conversation and ask questions also reveals how emotionally available they are. How you proceed depends on your own boundaries and what you’re looking for.
It’s pretty obvious when someone is either a player or someone with no experience at all, but if they’re not one of the extremes then you usually just have to get to know them.
I have sex with them…
It’s not even something I remotely think about even meeting someone.
Honestly very hard to tell until you kiss them. Excellent kissers are basically how I ended up having sex with someone right away, cause I wanted more and more.
It’s not your business, other than what their STD tests revealed.
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History is irrelevant. They have to show me that they’re good at respecting boundaries and a considerate person
That’s definitely not a first date conversation for me. And realistically, I’ll never bring it up since I don’t care that much. At most, I’d want to check that there’s no active baggage or STDs. If that’s all clear, I know all I need to.