Probably going to be editing this a few times.
Wasn’t actually today but ongoing and I need to vent somewhere.
I basically have someone claiming to be pregnant. The downsides are I don’t really know if she is or this is a con.
Every day it’s a new text demanding money obviously or threatening my mom whose completely unrelated to this issue. I’m more concerned about her being harassed than anything else.
I’m not sure my options. I’m in this mess because I’m stupid. I’m basically trying to defend myself from being extorted without allowing the world to know how dumb I am. But I’m willing to almost own it to have some level of control here.
TL;DR. being blackmailed in a likely fake pregnancy scam. Getting extorted for money. Not sure my options if I have any options at all
Comments
Easy. Stop playing into the extortion and call their bluff.
If it’s past the seventh week, get a test done to see if your the father.
Call a lawyer. They’ll likely force a pregnancy test and paternity test.
Also, they will likely be able to get a restraining order as well as possibly get the police to press charges for blackmail or harassment.
Demand a pregnancy test
Extortion is illegal. Go to the police, file a report, and let them sort it out. Worst case scenario, it’s your kid, and you can decide if you want to be a dad or not. If you do, what she’s doing now will be a great tool in the “full custody toolbox.” If you don’t want to be a dad, you still have financial resposibilities which will be sorted out by the court.
Either way, start with the cops. It will at least bring it to a close. I’d also suggest talking to attorney now to look at legal options. There are tons of free legal resources, and if you have the money, paying a lawyer a few hundred bucks is a lot cheaper than being extorted.
**EDIT – spelling
Stop paying, get a lawyer, and get a court ordered paternity test. If she’s really pregnant by you, she will do it. If she’s not, she will refuse, kick, and scream and eventually backtrack. If it ends up being real, keep the lawyer and get a custody agreement.
My completely inexperienced thoughts on the matter:
Get a lawyer. Have the lawyer reach out to the woman and ask for proof that you’re the father. Parental DNA tests can apparently be performed by the 7th or 8th week. If you are unable to afford that expense, do it yourself, just recognize she’s less likely to agree to it, especially if this is a con.
If and only if there is irrefutable proof, do the right thing and discuss some form of parental support.
The can do invitro testing (before the “baby” is born) offer to cover that. If she is pregnant you’ll know when the results come in whether or not you are the father (if she’s actually pregnant) instead of shelling out money the entire “pregnancy” for “support” and doing the test at the end
Take better fiction writing classes
Extortion is a crime. Take your phone to the police and press charges. The police don’t give a shit if you knocked someone up as long as that someone isn’t a kid. If you knocked up a kid you should turn yourself in, anyway. It’ll be way worse for you if they have to come get you.
Talk to an attorney; you’re going to need to establish parentage.
Stop paying them.
If you are the father, then regardless of the circumstances you have a responsibility to the child. Running away from it will just make it harder, and will erode support from your friends and family. Stepping up may seem hard now, but it will show that you have integrity, and the people around you will appreciate/respect it and show you support.
If you aren’t the father, then trying to step up will call their bluff will make them back off. Demand a paternity test. If they don’t want to do one, then that’s a huge red flag that it may be a scam.
Getting someone pregnant happens thousands of time a day all over the world, getting extorted does too, don’t be an idiot, go get a lawyer and/or call their bluff
Sounds like you’re young. I’d start by enlisting your parents help in this one. Taking on these issues alone is rough sometimes