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Backup of the post’s body: Hi everyone, I just want to start by saying im a first time reddit user and this is my first post, so im sorry if its all over the place.
I (23 F) just found out last night that my boyfriend (28 M) has been smoking weed behind my back. I want to start off by saying that my issue is not with the weed, its with the deciet. He was a heavy user for 8 years before we met, and I had used it recreationally from time to time. However it would trigger depersonalization in me for weeks so I decided it was not going to be a part of my life.
I knew he was a heavy user when we met and I just let him know that although I didn’t mind him smoking, I wasn’t going to participate for those reasons. He decided on his own to stop smoking weed and I never questioned it.
For some background, we have been dating for a year and a half, live together, and have a 6 month old son together.. I know, things moved pretty fast.
Anyways, I like to say that he’s truly my best friend, we always laugh our butts off when we’re together and we share our responsibilities with our son and home so effortlessly, he has always showed up as a father and as a partner and I have never been happier.
Onto the deciet… last night I woke up in the middle of the night to change and feed my son back to sleep. Once he was down I noticed my boyfriend’s phone sitting on the ledge of the crib. I opened it almost without thinking and saw a message from his bestfriend (i’ll call him Andy) saying that our neighbors had a ring camera. That caught me off guard because andy has never been to our apartment before. So I opened the messages and upon some digging I found that my bf and andy had been cordinating “drop offs” to hide it from me. Things like “hide it under the door mat” or “by the trash”. This has been going on at least every month for the last 6 months.. I am with my boyfriend literally all the time, we work at the same place on the same schedule, we go everywhere and do everything together. I could not wrap my mind around how secretive he has had to be to pick up the weed from our front door or smoke it without me noticing. I thought we were honest with each other and had such a strong relationship. I don’t know how to feel, I feel like i’ve been living in a whole different world with someone I don’t recognize. I dont like how easy it was for him to be so secretive and I don’t know how to proceed. How do I begin to rebuild trust ?
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Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We’d like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you’ll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we’ll drop a link so you can see our host’s take on your story.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Backup of the post’s body: Hi everyone, I just want to start by saying im a first time reddit user and this is my first post, so im sorry if its all over the place.
I (23 F) just found out last night that my boyfriend (28 M) has been smoking weed behind my back. I want to start off by saying that my issue is not with the weed, its with the deciet. He was a heavy user for 8 years before we met, and I had used it recreationally from time to time. However it would trigger depersonalization in me for weeks so I decided it was not going to be a part of my life.
I knew he was a heavy user when we met and I just let him know that although I didn’t mind him smoking, I wasn’t going to participate for those reasons. He decided on his own to stop smoking weed and I never questioned it.
For some background, we have been dating for a year and a half, live together, and have a 6 month old son together.. I know, things moved pretty fast.
Anyways, I like to say that he’s truly my best friend, we always laugh our butts off when we’re together and we share our responsibilities with our son and home so effortlessly, he has always showed up as a father and as a partner and I have never been happier.
Onto the deciet… last night I woke up in the middle of the night to change and feed my son back to sleep. Once he was down I noticed my boyfriend’s phone sitting on the ledge of the crib. I opened it almost without thinking and saw a message from his bestfriend (i’ll call him Andy) saying that our neighbors had a ring camera. That caught me off guard because andy has never been to our apartment before. So I opened the messages and upon some digging I found that my bf and andy had been cordinating “drop offs” to hide it from me. Things like “hide it under the door mat” or “by the trash”. This has been going on at least every month for the last 6 months.. I am with my boyfriend literally all the time, we work at the same place on the same schedule, we go everywhere and do everything together. I could not wrap my mind around how secretive he has had to be to pick up the weed from our front door or smoke it without me noticing. I thought we were honest with each other and had such a strong relationship. I don’t know how to feel, I feel like i’ve been living in a whole different world with someone I don’t recognize. I dont like how easy it was for him to be so secretive and I don’t know how to proceed. How do I begin to rebuild trust ?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.